1. The range of feelings you experience when you see the crowd on your first clearance day.

Oh, God Why?

2. When you said no to your mother’s jollof rice before you left the house and you see the long queue ahead of you.

Mummy helpppp.

3. And you wish you’d just collapse from the hunger so you can reach the front of the line to clear and go.

Let me faint abeg.

4. When you join the queue and the other corpers start pressing you from both sides like bread and akara sandwich.

I can’t breathe.

5. When you enter the Local Government Inspector’s office to sign your letter and you forget to greet first.

Are you okay?

6. When you say “Hi” to an NYSC official because you weren’t channeling your inner home training.

“Sorry ma, Good Afternoon.”

7. The other corpers when you don’t come with your correct documents and your plan is to beg your way through.

This should be good.

8. When you’re a nursing mother and the queue parts for you like you’re Moses at the Red Sea.

“Come with a child next time.”

9. The photocopying guy’s face when you need to make 2 copies, but it’s N1000 note you have.

“Wyd?”

10. When you walk into the NYSC secretariat and your ancestors are on your side, so there’s no crowd and you waltz in and out.

Look at God.

11. When you and that friend you only see once a month during clearance use time to take selfies together.

“See you same time next month, but time for a quick selfie.”

12. Your face when you finally finish your clearance:

“No I’m not lucky, I’m blessed.”

13. When you remember you have to do it all over again next month.

“Fix it, Jesus.”