1. When you get to a new school

And you can’t wait to meet and make new friends.

2. Two weeks into resumption and you don’t have a school father yet

After all the letters and provisions I gave these seniors.

3. When a senior calls “last ju”

I must not carry last.

4. And then it is your unlucky day

You’re the last person on the line because you were eating cornflakes.

5. When the senior asks you what you were doing

Senior, I don’t know. I was eating.

6. When the senior finishes your thick soakings in front of you

Jesus Christ. After begging for milk from the whole hostel.

7. And then tells you to go and make another one

What is this life? And this senior wants to make heaven.

8. When you are watching the tap to make sure no senior is there

Before they say I should fetch water and fill the lagoon.

9. You and your food and provisions on visiting day

All these hungry seniors.

10. Whenever you hear seniors are coming back from prep

Can’t they stay in school and read all night?

11. And you know you are going to spend the night under a bunk

Who brought me to this school again?

12. When one senior tells you to help him wash one small cloth

*cries in finished omo*

13. When you hear a senior say he is hungry

I’m not here abeg.

14. When you hear that the senior that bullies you got suspended

God don catch am.

15. When one senior finally decides to be your school father

God bless you sah!

16. When you finally become a senior

All you juniors must suffer what I suffered.