Zikoko sits across from their interviewee in a well-lit studio.
Zikoko: How are you?
Rollercoaster: I’m fine
Zikoko: You’ve been in the news this week
Rollercoaster:
Once. I was in the news just once.
Zikoko: Okay…
Zikoko slides a piece of paper to Rollercoaster
Zikoko: Do you know them?
Rollercoaster stares hard at the paper
Rollercoaster: Sorry to these men, I do not know them.
Zikoko: They seem to know you
Rollercoaster: Okay, but I don’t know them
Zikoko: According to them, you’re very familiar with their love life. They think you’re some sort of recurring feature.
Rollercoaster: I’ve been dodging questions about this thing all week. I’m not among abeg.
When you people said you wanted this interview sef, I thought we were going to talk about something else
Zikoko: Like?
Rollercoaster: My job. My years of experience. How I make people happy, spicy, keep things exciting…
Maybe… let me see that paper again.
Zikoko passes the “Nigerian men” paper to Rollercoaster again.
Rollercoaster: Ahh, I know them. Those are my guys
Zikoko: Two minutes ago, you didn’t know them.
Rollercoaster: Ehn, but now I do, and I understand what they were saying. It’s just that they didn’t know how to explain it.
Zikoko:
Rollercoaster: You see me now? I’m Rollercoaster
Zikoko: You don’t mean it
Rollercoaster: I go up and down, and make you happy, and excited…
Zikoko: We’re still talking about you abi?
Rollercoaster: Yes, now. You’ll feel everything o, but while you’re going through it, I’ll be there with you, no leave, no transfer. That’s what the men meant.
Zikoko: Are you serious abi?
Rollercoaster: Hmm, you people don’t know anything.
Zikoko signals the crew to turn the lights off