Things took a surprising turn when President Bola Ahmed Tinubu signed the student loan bill into law. On the surface, it looks like a good initiative but defaulters will be at risk of serving jail time.

That sounds scary, but will it stop us from taking these loans? In fact, we might need loans for these too:

Glasses loans

So we can see the shege Nigeria is showing us in HD. 

Vacation loans

A quick trip to help you forget about  Nigeria’s problems for a while won’t hurt anyone. Well, apart from your bank account, when you have to repay the loan.

Rent loans

Landlords are the only ones enjoying Nigeria. The only thing higher than the rent these guys charge is the blood pressure of someone about to check their exam result. The apartments aren’t exactly great either. Since we can’t arrest them, we’ll have to pay them somehow.

Car loans

The loan will probably not be enough to get you your dream car but half bread is better than okada. It’ll help us avoid Lagos conductors too. The car may look like a shadow of itself by the time you pay back but at least the good memories will last a lifetime.

Japa loans

To be honest, I’m not sure if the government will fund your plans to leave the country, but it’s worth a shot. Take the loan, leave Nigeria, and pay back from abroad.

Food loans

Nigeria is tough. We need to eat well to handle everything it throws at us.

Party loans

Nigerians will love this. An interest-free loan to help throw a party? They’ll even throw a mini party to celebrate the loan being approved.

Restaurant loans

Restaurants are really expensive these days. It might not be a great financial decision to take a loan to impress somebody but look at it as the government helping your relationship run smoothly.