Most people (read as: me, myself and I) are quick to refer to themselves as “foodies” when it’s time to eat food. But you see having to actually make the food, that’s another kettle of fish.
Why are some of the foods we love so difficult to make? Tbh, it’s not like they’re that hard, they just require specific skills — skills which you don’t have. Here’s a list of some of them:
Pounded yam
See, the whole process of pounding yam is too stressful, and it’s too easy to get it wrong when it’s time to mash the boiled yams. It’s not easier with yam powder either because then you have to beg the heavens to escape without lumps.
Image credit: Canadian cooking adventures
Amala
There’s a very thin line between making eatable amala or ending up with a limp, dirty-brown mess, and it has to do with your ability to “draw the amala close” (AKA fa mọ ra) while preparing it. Ask your Yoruba neighbour for the meaning.
Jollof rice
At a point, you have to wonder if you’re making smoky jollof, or just outright burnt offering.
Image credit: Ev’s eats
Fried rice
Fried rice just likes shakara, because why should I spend 17 hours chopping carrots and veggies to prepare you, and you decide to get spoiled two hours later?
Image credit: Chef Lola’s kitchen
Pap
Pap is literally just hot water and paste. Why does it have a covenant with the gods of watery messes? Even if the universe smiles on you and it thickens, it’ll still manage to taste raw. SMH.
Image credit: Cookpad
Beans
At what point does it change from tooth-crushing stones to food? Do you just put it on the fire then go and sleep? Why spend hours making something you’ll finish eating in 10 minutes?
Image credit: Sims home kitchen
RELATED: 7 Simple Foods That Are Actually Difficult to Prepare
Egusi soup
Yes, egusi may be one of the easiest Nigerian soups to make, but it’s still super stressful to make at home. Or have you forgotten that egusi can go bad literally three hours after you make it?
Image credit: Soup embassy
Pancakes
Hear me out. If you wait too long before flipping it over, it gets burnt. If you don’t wait long enough, you get what can only be described as amoeba pancakes.
Image credit: Catherine Matthews
Noodles
Before you insult us, just think about that time you mistakenly added too much water to your noodles. Now you have to risk draining out some of the sweetness, or enduring soggy noodle peppersoup.
Image credit: My German table
Ewedu
We love ewedu with amala, but how do you ensure it “draws”? What’s the use of ewedu that doesn’t trail a line down your elbows and clothes when you try to eat it? These are the questions.
Image credit: Chef Lola’s kitchen