There’s no winning with African parents. Depending on whether you’re the black sheep or the favourite child, there are two things involved.. If you’re the black sheep, you’re safe. If you’re the favourite child, there’s only one thing involved: they’ll stress your life.
How? Read on to find out.
Your siblings think you’re a snitch
This is how you look to them when they’re talking about something private and you try to join in.
Your parents rope you into being an actual snitch
They’ll come and disguise it as heart-to-heart talk but they really want is for you to start confessing the sins of your siblings.
You’re their retirement plan
Did you think being their favourite child is for free? You’ll pay for it with extra black tax, dear.
They’ll turn you to their gist partner by force
Sometimes you just want to sleep or be by yourself. Try telling that to an African parent when they want to gist about their friend whose child just got arrested by the police for stealing someone’s pet goat.
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You can’t do what they don’t want
This is how you know you’re their favourite child: when you really start considering their feelings as an adult even though you want to do something else. You now have to hide that tattoo you got because you wanted them to think you’re still a child of God
They send you on way more errands
We all know sending you on errands is the love language of Nigerian parents. You’re only going to be getting more of that since you’re their favourite child.
They use you as the moral compass
You can’t stay out late with friends without them thinking you’ve grown wings. Even though you’re in the streets, you can only be making guest appearances because of eye service.
You become the third parent
To your siblings, you become a middle-aged Nigerian giving them life advice they didn’t ask for.
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