Are You Even Nigerian if You Don’t Like These Very Nigerian Things?

Nigeria is hard enough to live in. That’s why we can’t imagine how much harder it can be for you if you say you don’t enjoy any of these things.

Garri

You don’t like garri? Pearl of the trenches? The rescuer of the sapa-stricken? Best in cereal? So you’ll never know the beauty of trying garri with cold water? Fish? Groundnut? Coke?

Pepper

We can never get used to people that don’t like pepper, because why don’t you like good things? And how do you plan to show people pepper when you don’t have it?

Woman sighing because how could someone not enjoy any of these.

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Cold water

After being under the scorching sun, starting two fights with crazy Lagosians, and surviving a day without killing your coworkers, how do you cool down? If you’re not taking cold water, I have to assume you have anger issues because your body is always hot.

man in shock that people don't enjoy these things

Sugar

I know people will raise an argument that there are other alternatives to sugar.

Sun

I feel sorry for everyone that doesn’t like basking in the sun because you can’t escape it. Sorry dear.

Rice

How? Just How? How can you dislike rice? How can you dislike such a bad bitch? Our national reward food for good behaviour: eaten at birthdays, weddings, burials, etc? How are you even coping with Nigeria when you don’t like the one thing that gives it joy?

Tight spaces

Being claustrophobic anywhere sucks but in Nigeria it’s even worse because when you’re not getting squeezed in danfos like sardine, you’re struggling with crowds at the bank.

Noise

Nigerians are infamous for noisemaking, from owambe parties to bus stops, to even social media. Omo, we can only imagine what you’re going through if you haven’t adjusted to noise yet.

Are You Even Nigerian if You Don’t Enjoy Any of These Very Nigerian Things