In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told at least half of them in your lifetime. Ole ni everybody.

1. “I’m already on the bike.”

When they’ve not even left the house.

2. “Hello? Hello? Ah, this network is bad o.”

Especially when it’s time to talk about their debts.

3. “It’s not even the stolen iPhone X that pained me. It’s my SIM card.”

You mean your free Glo SIM card? Abegi shut up.

4. “Your clothes will be ready next week.”

The trademark lie of Nigerian tailors.

5. “I’m not even pained by the break-up. I just want to know who they are dating now.”

Just say it’s paining you. We will understand.

6. “I used to come first back then in secondary school.”

Nigerian parents, hello.

7. “Oga, climb the bike. I sabi the place well-well.”

Hausa bike riders when they’re about to ‘lost’ you.

8. “We’ll just cuddle, nothing more.”

That’s how someone I know started cuddling a pregnancy.

9. “It will not come out in the exam.”

But it’s question one and compulsory.

10. “I am not aware of any Social Media Bill.”

The role model we all look up to.