Beards are a big deal, and every boy, right before they hit puberty looks forward to the life-changing moment when they will grow a beard. Unfortunately, not everyone records success in this area. If you’re one of these people, this is for you.

You, every time you see someone with a fully-formed beard

God, I see what you’re doing for others.

What you look like when you take pictures with your bearded friends

It sucks to be the man-child.

When a girl you like won’t stop gushing about men with beards

This is how you get your heart broken.

How people tease you because of your boy-face

God! The disrespect

You, weed and methylated spirit

Time to put my destiny in my hand and apply it to my chin

When it’s #NoShaveNovember and you realise your life is about to become more miserable

Time to log off social media

When you notice the first strand of beards growing

It’s happening. Hallelujah!

Three years later and it’s hardly grown to a stubble

What is this nonsense?

When your barber shaves off the small beard you’re managing

Are you mad?

When you finally accept that you’re stuck with your boy-face

You know what? It’s fine. Dangote doesn’t even have facial hair.

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