Picture this: It’s a Nollywood movie. There’s a rich man with a big house. One wife, one maid and family problems. He has a gateman. The gateman is… well you already know: funny, foolish, all the works.

Here’s a list of all the stereotypes of Nollywood gatemen.

1. Unnecessary foolishness

We get that the gatemen are the characters in the movies that are supposed to bring some sort of comic relief, but when the humour becomes daftness, it becomes boring and repetitive.

2. Tribal marks

Why does every Nollywood gateman require tribal marks? If these people can’t find someone with actual tribal marks to cast for the role, they go the lengths to use make-up to make it happen. Why?

3. Repetition of clothes

And it’s usually either a funny looking uniform or an ankara that is worn out. Nollywood gatemen always dress fucking weird. Why?

4. Random singing

And honestly, they sing the weirdest of songs.

5. Black teeth

This one is peculiar to Yoruba movies. I heard that they wear black nylons on their teeth to create this effect.

6. Infidelity

If they’re not helping oga cover up his adultery laden lifestyle, they are sleeping with oga’s madam. In any case, they know something the other couple should not know.

7. They’re all named Musa

Isn’t this tribalist?

8. They always let the wrong person into the house

One would think that the fact that they have so much free time means they’re somewhat good at their jobs. Nope. They’re always letting the wrong person into the house. And that’s all problems start.