1. When the noise your car has been making only stops when you try to show your mechanic.
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Is this juju?
2. When you give them your car with one problem and it comes back with three new ones.
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Are you not the Devil?
3. How they actually fix the problem:
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True story.
4. When they “help you repair” what hadn’t even spoilt yet.
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“Oga, the thing don dey spoil already.”
5. When they realize you really don’t know anything about cars.
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It’s all over. Don’t cry. Don’t beg.
6. Whenever they call the price of spare parts.
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Shouldn’t I just buy another car like this?
7. When they swear that’s the price and tell you to go and “ask another mechanic.”
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Aren’t all of you the same?
8. When you finally agree on the price and they tell you workmanship is separate.
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You are a very wicked somebody.
9. When you give them your car with full tank and it comes back on reserve.
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Are you not mad like this?
10. When you realize your car is actually with them more than it’s with you.
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Please, I need my car.
11. When they still have the mind to ask “anything for boys?”
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You no even fear.
12. When they bring the car back with a new sound and swear it’s normal.
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Which kind of nonsense lie is that?
13. When they told you it would be ready in 2 days and 2 weeks have passed.
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Is this life?
14. When you see him using the car to cruise with his babe.
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IT IS OVER! IT HAS FINISHED! SOMEBODY HAS TO DIE TODAY!
15. When he returns the car and nothing is missing.
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Wow. I’m impressed.