Someone said short people ask too many questions. Tall people would agree. Here’s a list of things tall people are tired of hearing about their height.

1. Do you play basketball?

No.

2. You should play basketball.

No.

3. Why are you tall?

Why are you asking stupid questions?

4. How tall are you?

Tall people have to answer this question 68 times everyday.

5. Are your parents tall?

What will this information do for you? Please tell me.

6. You are tall.

Gee, thanks, I wouldn’t have noticed if you didn’t point it out.

7. How’s the weather up there?

If you don’t geddifuck outta here…

8. Help me bring this thing from the tall shelf

WHY DID YOU PUT IT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

9. You’re so long

Are you talking about my height or…

10. Longitude

Why the fuck do people think randomly looking at someone tall and saying “Longitude” is an appropriate thing to do?

11. Are you a model?

Yes. Every tall person is a model.

12. Marry a short woman

No. I will marry a tall woman and and produce tall offspring so that we can rid the earth of your kind, oh dwarf.

13. My friend is taller than you

Fuck, now I have to kill myself.

14. Watch your head, no let fan cut you

This one is actually useful. What is it doing on this list?

15. I bet you have women kissing your feet

Is that a fetish or…

16. What’s your shoe size

If I tell you this and you don’t buy me shoes…