All the Things You Experience When You Go Clubbing in Lagos

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It’s Friday Night.

Time to put on your dancing shoes and hit the town.

Then you get a text “Don’t forget there is vigil this this evening”.

Ah ah mummy. Vigil ke?  These church people sef.

Wasn’t there vigil last week?

So you think of a way to wriggle out of this one.

And when you get home start giving your mum some sweet tales.

While your siblings are looking at you like

Ah you can liiiieeeee!

Your mum finally lets you off the hook with

While one sibling is busy chatting like

Who asked you? Bad belle.

So you go and gather your best baffs.

They ain’t never seen nothing like this.

And sneak out of the house like an armed robber.

You and your friends arrive looking sweet!

Abeg you wan try?

Only for the bouncer to say it’s full.

My friend do you know what I did to get here? Better open this place.

After small wash, he allows you in and you enter the place with style.

Only for you to see your ex with that babe he said was his cousin.

But wait…

Then you remember you don’t care because you are better.

You look to the left and see your crush.

Well… Hello fine boy.

You look to the left and see his girlfriend.

When will I finally win?

Then you remember what you and your friends came for once you hear “It’s Young John ..”

Give them!

*Bado sneh!* Show them!

And your personal favourite “aruba”.

Finish them!

Even though at the end of the night you smell like cigarette smoke and you’ve danced your makeup off and you’ve spent too much money, you feel fulfilled after a Lagos night out and are ready to do it again next week.

Written by Zikoko contributor @jollz.