In this article, Nigerians as a whole will be dragged by the neck. We really do the most as a society in terms of creating stereotypes and setting stifling rules.
Let’s do better and normalise these things abeg.
1. Tattoos
The average Nigerian on the street immediately tags you a sinner and wayward child if you have tattoos. They don’t even care to know its significance in your life.
2. Piercings
From rude stares to disgust, and even hostility, Nigerians will throw everything at you as if you are the cause of their problem. Why? Simply because you pierced your nostril or belly button.
3. Women choosing not to get married
This is the fastest way to ostracise yourself and be tagged a witch. Marriage can be beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with aspiring for it. But why is it suddenly inconceivable that a fully grown woman decides to reject the idea? It’s about time we stopped using marriage as a yardstick to measure a woman’s worth plis.
4. Women choosing who they want to marry
This is especially common in domineering families. Why do we feel the need to control and police the lives of women? All these aren’t necessary nau. Your parents and generations before did it, but it doesn’t make it hundred per cent right or effective.
5. Dyed hair
Anything outside colour black is frowned upon, why? Who says you can’t explore colours on your hair? It’s funny how many people frown at dyed hair, but paint their nails in different colours.
6. Fathers saying “I love you”
A typical Nigerian dad will rather bend than say “I love you” to his children or even wife. If you tell them nko? They’ll either say “God bless you” or pretend they didn’t hear. Who would blame them though, it’s ingrained in the fabric of the society and its expectations from men.
7. Men crying
By now, we should be doing away with the narrative that men are wooden or machines. They are made of flesh, blood and feelings. Let’s stop pressuring men with phrases like: “Na man you be” or “Stop acting like a woman.” This leads to bottling up a lot of emotions and looking for unhealthy gateways to vent.
8. Leaving bad marriages and relationships
The shaming and “endurance” culture has to end. Let’s be unbiased enough to accept that sometimes, a marriage is better off nonexistent. Society is usually quiet when the issues start, but the minute you want out, it’s, “Be patient and endure. What will people say?” People will be fine.
9. Women being single
The minute a woman is past 25 and nearing 30 in this part of the world, she won’t hear word again. Let’s normalise minding the business that is ours and stop asking “When will it be your turn?” at every wedding. Do we ever consider the fact that there’s so much more to life beyond a woman finding a man to “complete” her? Na single she single, she no kill person.
10. Women choosing not to have kids
Nigerians should accept that some women are just not cut out to be biological “mums”, and that’s not a crime. There’s so much pressure on women to have kids. It’s as though that’s the primary aim of their existence, and they’re tagged failures if this duty is not fulfilled. God forbid they hear you want to take out your uterus.
11. Men wearing earrings
If a man having on earrings makes him effeminate, then let it. How does it affect the price of tomatoes in the market? Torh.
