All The Things That Happen When Your Parents Are Fighting

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1. When they’re arguing and you try to chook mouth, your mum is like:

My amebo has earned me instant ela!

2. When you now shut up and they say you don’t care about them.

Which one do you people want me to do sef?

3. When one of them comes to talk about the other one to you.

But is it my business?

4. When your dad says he’s still angry but he’s still eating your mum’s food anyhow.

This man is not even hard at all!

5. When your oversabi aunties and uncles now want to chook mouth.

Face your marriage please!

6. When they now start blaming you for allowing the fight go on for this long.

Sha do and be going to your house.

7. You, when you’re talking to one of your parents and they’re just proving stubborn.

Your strong head cannot get you anywhere sha!

8. When they now turn you into messenger when they want to talk to each other.

Because I’m the proverbial grass that is suffering here o!

9. You, when you see your dad sleeping on the couch.

“The man that proves stubborn to his wife will have no bed to sleep in the night” – Wole Soyinka, 1900

10. When you now see both of them laughing and talking together suddenly.

Is that how you people used to do?

11. The next time they start fighting and mention your name, you’re like:

I am not chooking hand in your wahala again!