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1. When you wake up on Sunday morning and you tell your mom you’re not going to church.
2. When the pastor calls for worship and you know you’re about to endure the same 5 songs again.
3. But then worship starts and you’re deep in the spirit!
4. When you have fellowship in your house every Sunday after church…after you’ve spent 4 hours in church already.
5. When the pastor says close your eyes during altar call, but you want to see who is giving their life to Christ.
6. When you see that person who is a ‘better christian’ than you going for altar call.
7. When your mom forces you to join the choir and all the service units.
8. When you see your parents give 4 different offerings + voluntary donations in church and then you ask for ordinary 100 Naira to buy Capri-sonne and they say they don’t have.
9. When the pastor says ‘say your enemies will die’ but you don’t roll that way.
10. When night devotion is basically a 3-hour service.
11. When you lead devotion and after you’re done your Aunt says “You need to learn how to pray”.
12. Other people turn up on Friday nights, but that’s vigil night for you.
13. When a church member is judging you for not being able to speak in tongues.
14. That one time you woke up in the middle of the night to hear your mother shouting “die by fire” while bathing you in annointing oil.
15. When everyone falls under the annointing when the pastor lays hands on them except you.
16. When the person sitting beside you falls down during deliverance, now you have to close your eyes and PRAY!
17. When you talk back to your mom once, and you have to go to the pastor for deliverance.
18. When your parents invite the pastor to bless your house, and all of them are just pouring anointing oil on the walls and floors – that you’re going to have to clean.
19. Losing that Christmas weight in the new year during the 21- 45 days fasting in January.
