You know shit. We know you do, but sometimes, it doesn’t feel that way, and that’s fine.
Other times, you have to wear made-in-Aba clothes to fake it till you make it. That’s why we’ve brewed this concoction that’ll make your shoulders rise like garri that they soaked for three days.
Prep time: Literally zero seconds. You just need to look in your mirror and go, “I am ready”.
Ready in: 30 minutes to two years.
Instructions
STEP 1: Wash your head
The first and most important step – wash your head with one bucket of water. You’ll feel more relaxed to carry out the other steps easily.
STEP 2: A little delusion
After a quick head wash, look in the mirror and tell yourself a colourful truth.
Anything that’ll aid your delusion and have you walking around like there’s a boil under your arm should be fine. We just need you to finish this step with a little extra pep in your step.
STEP 3: Research
After deluding yourself for as long as you wish (we suggest 30 minutes to an hour), find a book or a person who actually knows more than you do and isn’t just following this recipe, and ask all the questions you need answered. Like, “Why does semo taste like pain and suffering sprinkled with burnt sugar?”
STEP 4: Wash your head again
After all the hard work you’ve put into stepping your game up, the time for that second bucket of water is now. Repeat step 1, and just remember the key to moving like you know shit is in the amount of confidence you appear to have.
