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University | Zikoko!
  • These Are the Absolute Best Courses to Study In Nigeria

    Like everything in Nigeria, getting admission into any top-rated university is long, stressful and highly competitive — from the long queues during JAMB registrations to the hurdles of WAEC and post-UTME examinations. 

    It can also be difficult to determine what to pursue as a career in the first place. We checked and these are the best courses to study for a successful career in 2024: 

    Computer Science

    Some of the richest young people in Nigeria today tech bros. To join the gang, you should probably start with a degree in Computer science. The possibilities are endless — you could become a games developer, cybersecurity expert, cloud computing engineer, software engineer, or UI/UX designer. The minimum amount for each role ranges between ₦200,000 to ₦1.5M per job. 

    Fashion Design

    Once upon a time, fashion design was something for middle to lower-class Nigerians. Now, with designers like Mai Atafo, Atelier, Veekee James, and Yinka Ash making millions per dress and changing that narrative, we can look at fashion design as a goldmine.. Bachelor of Fashion or Creative Design does have a nice ring to it, and it wouldn’t hurt to charge $500 (₦750,000) per dress for starters. 

    Management

    Every team or organisation needs a manager. The managers start from entry level roles and work up the ladder. They often work as Human resource managers, Project managers, and General managers among other things. The salary here often increases per certification and role but can start from a minimum of ₦200,000. The salary increase is often tied to the success of the projects or businesses. 

    Accounting 

    Accountants are highly sought-after professionals in every sector of the economy. Studying accounting makes you qualified for financial analyst, auditor, bank manager and credit officer roles. Payscale stipulates that the average salary of accountants in entry-level roles is about ₦200,000 to ₦450,000 monthly.  

    Marketing

    Marketing has become an indispensable need with entrepreneurs and start-ups taking over the business world. Marketing graduates can fill corporate roles in sales, business development, digital marketing, retail management and management. The average monthly salary is ₦200,000 for these roles.

    Medicine and Surgery

    Nigerian parents will be happy to see this on the list. Facts don’t lie and one is that doctors are some of the most sought-after specialists across the globe. According to Glassdoor, the average Nigerian doctor earns about ₦283,000 monthly. Graduates can work as surgeons, residents, general medicine registrars and more. 

    Law and legal studies

    Legal practitioners are some of the most esteemed and sophisticated professionals in the country. Every sector of the economy has a role waiting for lawyers and law graduates. Glassdoor speculates the average law graduates earn between ₦180,000 to ₦200,000 per month at entry level.  Some available job roles include compliance officers, human resources managers, corporate lawyers, criminal defence lawyers and mediation officers. 

    Pharmacy 

    Pharmacy is focused on the production and prescription of drugs to treat patients. Pharmacy graduates can work as pharmacy managers, pharmacists, researchers, and factory managers. Entry role salary starts from ₦150,000 for pharmacists. 

    Civil engineering

    From designing buildings to constructing roads, civil engineers are the cream of the crop when it comes to engineering courses in Nigeria. Civil engineering contracts are one of the highest-paying in the country with a minimum of ₦400,000 per project. 

    Theatre arts 

    Theatre arts is an exceptional course with many opportunities waiting for its graduates. The entertainment industry is always on the lookout for the next talent in dance and acting, with professionals in this course being the first in line for such projects and opportunities.  

    Other jobs like actors, set managers, producers, filmmakers and costume designers all give Theatre arts graduates a variety of career options to choose from. They charge from ₦400,000 to ₦700,000 per movie, depending on the scale of these projects.

    Architecture 

    If you have a passion for bringing imagination to reality and can work independently as well as with teams, this is the course for you.  Payscale research shows that the average architect can make about ₦1.5 million per project for entry-level roles like project architect, site architect, senior data architect and site operations manager. 

    Mass communication 

    In love with the media? Mass communication allows you to work around it. Mass communication is versatile in practice and offers opportunities in roles like public relations officer, journalist, editor, radio host and content writer. Payscale research shows the average salary of Mass Communication majors in Nigeria is ₦300,000.

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    Electrical engineering

    Electrical engineers are also amongst the top-rated professionals in the engineering field in Nigeria.  Their technical abilities are essential to the development of many equipment, devices and systems, making them invaluable to the production sector in Nigeria. Jobs like assistant engineer, technician, instructor and manager are available to professionals in this course. Payscale research shows the average salary for an electrical engineer is about ₦1.2 million per project.  

    Estate and property management 

    Estate management is a highly lucrative industry in Nigeria with professionals earning a fairly high income thanks to the number of property projects in development. Available roles are property manager, property agent and site supervisor. Payscale also shows the average salary expectation can go as high as ₦600,000 per property. 

    Nursing

    They might not be the first courses to pop into your mind when you think of the health sector, but nurses enjoy a comfortable work-life balance. Nurses might not make as much as their stethoscope-wearing counterparts, but they are in even higher demand. According to Payscale, the average salary of a registered nurse is between ₦100,000 to ₦250,000 monthly depending on experience in the role.

    Business administration 

    Business administration is a high-income field of professionals with a variety of applications across the labour market.  Senior administrative roles often provide a steady income for graduates in this field. The salary is estimated to range from ₦200,000 to ₦450,000 monthly.

    Biochemistry 

    Like MLS, biochemistry offers a variety of career options in the health sciences. The variety is even higher here as professionals play an integral part in other important industries like food and pharmacy. 

    Jobs like lab assistant, research scientist, forensic scientist and clinical biochemist are all available to professionals in this course. Salary Explorer indicates the average monthly salary of professionals in this course is about ₦200,000 to ₦300,000 a month.

    Agricultural science 

    Your father might have a heart attack if you put this on your JAMB form, but agricultural science is one of the most technical fields of study in the university. With many branches and innovations around it, agriculture helps you make a living and still have time for other businesses. 

    Jobs like farm manager, biotechnologist, extension service provider, geneticist, pathologist, food scientist and surveyor all pay competitive incomes to graduates of the course. The average salary for agriculturists is around ₦150,000 to ₦250,000 

    Economics 

    Graduates who study this course can take their pick of jobs like financial analyst, business operations manager, economist or lecturer. Glassdoor puts the average income of professionals between ₦130,000 to ₦230,000 monthly. 

    Medical lab science

    Medical lab science or MLS is the go-to course for fans of the health sciences who don’t want to spend 7 years studying medicine.  Professionals here have access to an array of jobs like lab assistant, lab manager or medical officer. Payscale research indicates the average monthly salary is ₦100,000

    English and literary arts

    This is one of the most sophisticated art courses to study in Nigeria. As language and communication experts, graduates of this course are highly sought after for roles like journalist, editor, content marketer, and administrative executive. 

    According to GlassDoor, the average salary for graduates of this course ranges between ₦80,000 and ₦200,000 monthly for entry-level roles with an abundance of jobs available in multiple industries.

    Language and communication studies

    Like most language courses, this provides art students the flexibility to work in media, communications and management teams across industries. 

    Available roles include public relations officer, content marketer, copywriter and editor. The average salary for these professionals according to Glassdoor is around ₦70,000 to ₦150,000 monthly. 

    There’s always the option of switching to entrepreneurship if these courses and figures don’t work out for you and you change your mind. 

    Read more: A Case for Staying Unemployed

  • 20 Best Art Courses to Study in Nigeria in 2024

    Contrary to the public opinion about science courses being the most lucrative, most of Nigeria’s most underrated courses are in arts. If you’re an art student about to start your tertiary studies or if you’re looking to switch careers and  thinking “what are the best art courses to study in nigeria”, here are twenty of the best art courses to study in Nigeria in 2024 :

    Mass Communication

    This course is a hot cake  and one of the most competitive art courses in Nigeria.  With a degree in Mass communication, you can works in journalism, multimedia publishing, human resource management, communications, advertising, among others. Because of how important these jobs are in every industry in the world, you have a continuous supply of work through the years. The best universities to study this are: University of Lagos, University of Ilorin, University of Benin, Covenant University and Redeemer’s University.

    Fine & Applied Art

    What better way to tell everyone you studied arts than to become an artist? The options here are endless.  From visual arts, textile designs to sculpture and ceramic arts, your artistry flourishes. The one perk of picking a degree here is that you don’t need an employer. You can sit at home, make art and make your money. The best universities to study this are: University of Nigeria, University of Benin, University of Jos, Ignatius Ajuru University, and Niger Delta University.

    Law

    As much as it seems like the law market is oversaturated, it is still one of the top art courses in universities. Asides the honour and bragging rights that come with the many years of studying and getting certified, some lawyers actually make a huge chunk of money and you don’t have to enter the court of law to do it. The best universities to study this are: University of Ilorin, University of Ibadan, University of Lagos, Afe Babalola University, and Babcock University.

    International Relations

    This course sounds very sophisticated, and it probably is. It’s the right fit if  you’re looking to work in communications, foreign affairs and diplomacy. The best universities to study this are: University of Ilorin, Nnamdi Azikwe University, Ahmadu Bello University, Achievers Univerisy and Caleb University.

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    Music

    Some of the richest Nigerians in the arts and entertainment sector are musicians. While they didn’t study music, they had the talent and worked with many graduates of music. Studying music helps amplify your talent and improve your chances of success in the entertainment space. You could work as a trainer, choreographer, producer, engineer or label executive with some of the biggest names in entertainment across the globe. The best universities to study this are: University of Lagos, Covenant University, Ajayi-crowther university, Delta State University and Obafemi Awolowo University. 

    Sociology

    This course is criminally underrated but has a higher chance of securing you employment than the more popular courses. It is linked to governance, psychology, research, media, management and criminology. With a bachelors in sociology you can  work anywhere in the world. The best universities to study this are: University of Ilorin, University of Port-Harcourt, University of Calabar, Baze University and Benson Idahosa University.

    Performing Arts 

    If you love drama, live sets and music, this is the one for you.  If you get too tired of the screens, you can work in screenplay, scriptwriting, film production and marketing. You can also merge this with design and work as a set designer, costume and location designer or cinematographer. The best universities to study this are: University of Nigeria, Bayero University, Obafemi Awolowo University, Gregory University and Bowen University.

    Management

    This should be higher up on the list of art courses, but ranks lower because a lot of managers today didn’t study arts. Management however, cuts across every field, so  job opportunities are guaranteed. The best universities to study this are: University of Lagos, Abubakar Tafawa Balewa Univerisity, University of Ilorin, American University of Nigeria and Covenant University.

    English Language

    In the list of art courses in Nigeria in 2024, this one is evergreen. Written and audio communication are a part of industry relations and the specialists are often graduates of English language. Diplomacy and ministerial appointments are also on the table. The best universities to study this are: University of Lagos, University of Ibadan, Covenant University, Mountaintop university and University of Ilorin. 

    French

    This course enjoys the same benefits as English language with the added advantage of less competition. You get access to jobs in international relations and media, even outside Nigeria. If foreign prospects fail, you still get to become a teacher. The best universities to study this are: Abia State University, Ambrose Alli University, University of Ilorin, and Lagos State University.

    Economics

    If you’re in the arts and you’re not looking to study for talent, then Economics works. This opportunity allows you to take a dive into the financial world and work in any industry. You can work as an analyst, researcher, teacher and auditing executive. The best universities to study this are: University of Ibadan, Obafemi Awolowo University, Covenant University, Lead City University, and Bayero University.

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    Psychology

    Asides from helping you navigate relationships and trauma, psychology can help you put food on the table. With mental health being in the limelight, more people are seeking out professional help for psychological problems and who is making money from this new development? Psychologists. Even if therapy doesn’t bring money, you can work in human resource management, business research, academics, sports  and rehabilitation services. The best universities to study this are: University of Ibadan, Evangel University, Covenant University, Lagos State University and the University of Nigeria.

    History and International relations

    If you’re great with dates and communication, this course might be what you need. It is somewhere between popular and underrated. Graduates of history and anthropology, international relations and any other minors that are attached to it can start careers in research, teaching, communications and media. The best universities to study this are: Lead City University, Adekunle Ajasin University, Adeleke University, Abia state university and University of Ilorin.

    Philosophy

    With a degree in philosophy, you can work as an operations manager, business analyst and strategist, user experience manager, content writer, researcher, and product designer. The best universities to study this are: University of Ibadan, University of Calabar, University of Nigeria, Mountaintop University and Covenant University. 

    Theatre Arts

    This ranks much lower than performing arts because of the competition and is often confused to be the same. It is a top art course in Nigeria for people who like entertaining in front of audiences. If you love the set and theatre life, put the application in today. The best universities to study this are: University of Calabar, Bayero University, University of Benin, Afe Babalola University, and Gregory University.

    Linguistics

    Lights, camera, action – those are words you could be hearing for the rest of your life if you study linguistics. You would likely end up as a reporter or TV host. However, prospects exist in foreign affairs, public relations and academics. The best universities to study this are: University of Lagos, University of Ilorin, Kwara State University, Igbinedion University and Fountain University.

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    Art education

    Perhaps your passion is not in practising art, but rather helping to build the next generation of artists. While you’ll become a tutor, it could be in academics, entertainment or media. You could also foray into research. The best universities to study this are: Tai-solarin University of Education, Lagos State University of Education, University of Nigeria, Afe Babalola University and University of Ilorin.

    Religious studies

    Either you sign up for Islamic studies or Theology, you become a hotcake who can work with religious institutions, government bodies, and academics. Since religious bodies are abundant in Nigeria, it shouldn’t be hard to get set up. The best universities to study this are: University of Ilorin, Madonna University, McPherson University, Ahmadu Bello University, and Nnamdi Azikwe University.

    Hospitality and Tourism

    This course is self-explanatory and there is no scarcity of jobs here because Nigeria is full of tourist attractions. If this doesn’t work out, you can always travel to countries with the biggest tourist opportunities. You could find work as a tour manager, tourist guide, hotel and hospitality manager, air host(ess), and as a specialist in training. The best universities to study this are: Imo State University, Federal University Oye-Ekiti, Federal University Wukari, Trinity University and Capital City University.

    Yoruba

    This should be your last line of action if all else fails seeing as it ranks very low on the list of art courses. The career opportunities here are mostly in academics and media. 

    A useful read is: Study Tips Every Nigerian Student Needs.

  • We Ranked The Main Gate of 13 Nigerian Universities

    Some Nigerian universities will boldly include architecture in their list of available courses but the question is, are they practising what they’ve promised to teach?

    I decided to start from the basics and check the main gate structure of 13 Nigerian public universities. Here’s what I found.

    Federal University of Technology, Minna

    We Ranked The Main Gate of 13 Nigerian Universities

    Is it a TETFUND abandoned project?r Is it a buy one, get one free low budget estate? I’m not sure what I’m looking at.

    Obafemi Awolowo University 

    We Ranked The Main Gate of 13 Nigerian Universities

    Not sure what they set out to achieve with this high rise structure, but I know I’ll be far from excited if I show up at my prospective university and find the gate looking like this.

    University of Ilorin

    We Ranked The Main Gate of 13 Nigerian Universities

    I’m not going to be fooled by the “Better by Far” signage, this main gate is only slightly better than OAU’s. 

    University of Nigeria, Nsukka

    I think management wanted a little hint of dystopian architecture, but I’m not quite sure they hit the mark.

    The biggest women-only festival in Lagos is BACK.
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    Enugu State University 

    We Ranked The Main Gate of 13 Nigerian Universities

    They’re on this spot because I’ve decided to let the saturation in this photo fool me. 

    Federal University of Owerri

    The uneven trees, the sparse garden, the weird spacing of the name…It’s just not giving. 

    University of Calabar

    We Ranked The Main Gate of 13 Nigerian Universities

    This is what I envision anytime I hear or read about the “Wall of Jericho”. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

    University of Jos

    There’s a chance I’m being fooled by the little garden they have going on, but something about this main gate doesn’t scream “You gon see shege”.

    University of Benin

    There’s something about this gate that is too similar to the semi-permanent eyebrows you find on Yoruba Nollywood actresses. They also get a C-minus for that sparsely cultivated garden.

    Federal University of Agriculture (FUNAAB)

    Is it me or this gate is giving a mix of the Bermuda Triangle and the Eye of Providence? Anyway, they get a decent C+ for their little garden.

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    University of Lagos

    We Ranked The Main Gate of 13 Nigerian Universities

    Is that a GeePee tank in the frame? God, abeg. Anyway, UNILAG makes it this far up the list because of that digital clock. I think it’s a super cool touch.

    Kwara State University

    At first glance, it looks like a lot is going on. But you know what? I’ll take it over all the other ones we’ve seen.

    University of Ibadan

    If you can ignore the military outpost vibe, they get a solid B+ for this architecture. It’s grand, very “In your face” and has a lot of greenery.

    Read also: These Colonial Buildings Will Make You Appreciate Nigerian History

  • Just Imagine: These Nigerian Artists As University Lecturers

    No one gives us as much drama as Nigerian artistes and university lecturers. But what would it be like if they switched places and your favourite artists became university lecturers?

    Wizkid

    TThe dean of the faculty. You only get to see him him once in a while, and when you do, he won’t stop raving about how he taught your favourite lecturers when they were in school.

    Image credit: Premium Times

    Burna Boy

    If you’re an olodo, just avoid his class. If you must attend, you better not sit in front. Just make sure you study the course months in advance first. Because if he calls on you and you can’t answer, he’ll return your school fees and send you away.

    Image credit: PM News

    Teni 

    The former student activist who got tired of shouting “Solidarity forever!” all the time. Now, she just wants to collect her salary and be left alone.

    Image credit: Vogue

    Asake

    You’re not actually sure if he’s a lecturer or a student disguising because he gets along with everybody, and his classes are always full. He’ll probably charge you money to attend sha. Nothing concerns him with your school fees.

    Image credit: The Guardian

    Tiwa Savage

    You can tell she’s not living on her lecturer salary because she’s so unbothered. In fact, she’ll probably just be waiting for the next strike to happen so she can go on another vacation.

    Image credit: Glamour South Africa

    Simi

    She’s simply everyone’s sweetheart, lecturers and students alike. Her only problem is that we don’t get to see enough of her.

    Image credit: TrendyBeatz

    Davido

    He gives off student union president vibes. The kind you can rely on to show up when students need to fight the school authorities.

    Image credit: The Guardian

    Fireboy

    He’s the oversabi professor who’ll ask you what he didn’t teach you in an exam.

    Image credit: Billboard

    CKay

    He won a huge award decades ago and still scores points for it even though nobody attends his class anymore.

    Image credit: BellaNaija

    QUIZ: Which Nigerian Artist Is Your Alter Ego?


  • You’ll Pay High Tuition Fees If You Go to These Universities

    If you know any student attending the University of Nigeria, Nsukka (UNN), give them a hug. The university just increased their school fees by 100% for the second time in five years.



    While students in some faculties will pay ₦83,000 basic tuition, students of other faculties like Medicine and Engineering are going to pay as high as ₦120,000. Hostel fees  have have also been increased to ₦35,000 per year. This is compared to ₦41,500, a fee which one of the students attested to paying in the previous session. 

    Unsurprisingly, the affected students have taken to social media to complain about the hike.

    The UNN Student Union is currently trying to keep students calm and promised to talk things through with the school authorities. But we know how ineffective student unions have been in the past couple of years, and we can only wish them the best of luck. 



    What’s even more alarming is that UNN isn’t the only public university with high school fees. More than 38 universities have increased their school fees due to poor funding by the federal and state governments.

    Let’s take a look at some of them:

    Kaduna State University (KASU)

    In June 2021, the Kaduna State government felt it necessary to increase tuition from ₦26,000 to over ₦150,000.

    The hike resulted in a tussle between authorities and students  who protested for weeks against the hike. It got so bad that the school compelled parents to sign an undertaking that their children will stop the protests or risk expulsion.

    Nnamdi Azikiwe University (UNIZIK)


    In July 2021, students stormed the streets of Anambra to protest against the hike in fees from ₦20,000 to over ₦120,000. It was later reviewed by the authorities and reduced to ₦89,000 but this was still more than triple the original sum.

    Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH)

    In October 2019, the LAUTECH management decided to start the 2018/2019 session with violence when they declared a 200% increase. Students complained about the hike, but the fee never went down.

  • 8 Foods That Always Save People’s Lives

    There are times when you’re dying of hunger but there’s either nothing to eat or you’re just too lazy to cook. In times like these, there are certain foods that always come through for you by saving your life. We’ve listed eight of them. 

    Indomie

    We can all agree that Indomie is the number one saviour. If you have at least ₦200 in your hand, you can buy Indomie to cook and be satisfied. If you have extra money, you can garnish it with some vegetables. Noodles will come through for you when you’re too tired to cook, broke, sick, or even just peckish. We can’t help but stan.

    Bread 

    The ultimate food for the lazy. You don’t have to put in any effort if you don’t want to; just eat the bread plain like that. If you have the strength, mix it up with some butter and jam. If you’re a rich person, add sardine or corned beef and you’re good to go. 

    RELATED: What’s The Best Thing To Eat Bread With? We Ranked Them All

    Concoction rice 

    Concoction rice is for days when all your money has finished and you have to take advantage of any ingredient around you. If you like, you can put crayfish, honey, avocado, sausage, etc. All that is important is that it’s edible and can fill your empty stomach. You need to have leftover rice somewhere sha.

    Garri 

    Everyone knows garri as sapa food. If you don’t have anything else to eat, garri will always be there. No matter how broke a person is, they’ll always have one container of garri in one corner. If not, it’s over for you o.

    RELATED: 5 Garri Combinations That’ll Give You A Stomach Orgasm

    Suya 

    If there’s absolutely nothing to eat at home, there’s always a suya guy down the road that will save you from complete starvation. If you’re lucky, you may not have to spend any money; just keep asking the mallam to taste the different types of meat.

    Soup and eba 

    One common thing in every Nigerian household is that there’s always leftover soup in an ice cream container in the freezer. All you have to do is make eba and you’re good to go. If there was an apocalypse of some sort in this country, Nigerians will have soup stocked for months. You can never starve. 

    Plantain

    Plantain is another meal that saves people’s lives because it’s easily accessible and convenient. You can have it as bole, dodo, or boiled plantain. But be warned, this is not food for when you’re broke; plantain is expensive out here in these streets. 

     Cereal 

    If all else fails, cereal is always there for you. If you don’t have money to buy proper cereal, you can break any biscuits inside a bowl of milk and make your own.

    ALSO READ: These 9 Foods Will Give You Running Stomach If You’re Not Careful

    How chaotic would Zikoko on TikTok be? Follow us to find out!

  • QUIZ Can You Match The Nigerian University to Their Main gate?

    People who have two or more degrees from different universities won’t find this hard. Can you match the Nigerian university to their main gate?

    Take the quiz:


    QUIZ: Which Nigerian University Should You Have Attended?

  • QUIZ: Can We Guess What You Studied In University?

    Think we can’t accurately guess what you studied in university? Try us and see.

  • 10 Things To Do With Your Life Immediately After Uni

    You can’t wait until uni is done and dusted, so you can sleep better at night and finally be free from group work, and that’s understandable. But what’s the answer to the burning question on your mind: what do you do with your life after uni?

    It’s bad enough that monthly allowance will cease and you’ll miss the oddly satisfying sense of safety the university environment provides, but it is what it is.

    Those feelings are totally valid, and you’re not alone. Also, don’t worry, we won’t shove advise down your throat like your African parents or village people.

    1. Realise that no one has it all figured out

    It might look like it, but many recent (or about-to-be) graduates like you do not have their lives figured out. Everyone is really just taking it one day at a time and supplementing with vibes. So, give yourself some credit for surviving the last four or more years in a system designed to frustrate you.

    2. Be calming down

    Instead of freaking out about what the future holds and how you literally have no clue what you’re doing with your life, take time out to b-r-e-a-t-h-e. Being a graduate is not beans, after all. Take a moment to reflect on your life and acknowledge your achievements.

    3. Disappoint your parents

    You’ve probably played by their rules for this long, and now they’ll have expectations of you “settling down” and getting a good job.

    4. Write a goodbye letter to that one lecturer

    You know the one we’re referring to. Every university has that one lecturer who made school a living nightmare. Write to let them know your God is bigger than them.

    5. Become a full-time sugar baby

    Now that your parents will likely cut back on allowances and student privileges, you need a new source to foot your “adulting” bills. Start writing your “sugar baby available” ad now o!

    6. Japa

    Now that nothing urgent ties you to this country, you can japa to the abroad. Either for another degree, enjoyment, travel, or to pursue a career. Here are some japa destinations, a guide for japa-ing and how to let people know you have japa-ed when you do.

    7. Slide into your year-one crush’s DM

    You’ve been eyeing that person since first year, so why not go ahead and ask them on a date? Take risk and succeed!

    Nigerian move in silence

    [newsletter]

    8. Look for internship opportunities

    If you feel like you’re ready to face the post-uni life head-on, then an internship would be a great way to garner experience in the workforce. Sha don’t let anybody use your head in the name of internship. Have you seen the price of sardine?

    9. Ask for an apology

    Yes, the person who invented school and all the stress that comes with it seriously needs to apologise.

    10. Network

    This is the time to leave that triangle in which you have been stuck in and expand your circle. Life outchea goes beyond cliques. This is not to say, abandon your school friends, but learn to put yourself out there and connect with people who align with your dreams, goals and aspirations.

    QUIZ: Which Nigerian University Should You Have Attended?

    It’s easier said than done. So, read this article to find out how you can fake it till you make it in life.

  • What She Said: I Was Asked To Withdraw From Pharmacy In My Final Year

    Navigating life as a woman in the world today is interesting. From Nigeria to Timbuktu, it’ll amaze you how similar all our experiences are. Every Wednesday, women the world over will share their experiences on everything from sex to politics right here. 

    The subject of today’s What She Said is a 24-year-old woman who talks about studying pharmacy to please her parents, getting withdrawn from school after failing a semester, and finally studying what she wanted.

    Let’s talk about your childhood

    Growing up, I was a very shy child. I wanted to be noticed and to also stand out, so I decided I would be either a journalist or a military woman. However, as I grew older, that changed. 

    When I was 12, I fell in love with agricultural science when I was taught in school. Seeing green leaves and plants made me feel excited, so I told my mother I wanted to study that. 

    What did she say? 

    She actually didn’t say anything. What she did was to tell my dad. There’s nothing you tell my mum that she won’t relay back to him. 

    One day, while my dad and I were out, he brought it up. He didn’t tell me directly to study medicine instead, but it was there. 

    When I was 13, my brother wrote JAMB. My dad wanted him to fill medicine as his course of study, but he refused. I remember seeing the hurt in my dad’s eyes. In that moment, I made up my mind that I’d study medicine and please him. My plan was to farm as a hobby once I made money. 

    So, you studied medicine? 

    I actually didn’t, but I didn’t study agricultural sciences either. I applied for a medicine related course – pharmacy instead. I felt I couldn’t do medicine because I wasn’t exceptionally smart. Plus, since it was a medicine-related professional course, I’d still work in the hospital. 

    How did your dad take it? 

    Initially, he was annoyed when he found out that I didn’t choose to study medicine, but I explained to him that although I had a high chance of getting a good jamb score, it might not be good enough to get me medicine because of how competitive the course is. It’s funny because I was actually right. All the people that got around the same score I got were given either veterinary medicine, biochemistry, anatomy, physiology or microbiology. 

    How did studying pharmacy go? 

    It started off sort of well. I had one carryover in my first semester and I doubt I ever recovered from it. I got the carryover because they had changed the test format. I thought the test was objective, and so I read for that, only for them to make the test subjective. I cried so much when I saw the result because that was the first ever major failure I had gotten in my life. 

    I was determined to bounce back in my second year, but it was hard because I couldn’t take some courses until I passed my carryover. From my very first year studying pharmacy, I knew I was going to have an extra year. 

    Omo, that’s tough.

    It gets worse. In my third year, I carried over almost all the courses I took. There was no definite reason why. It was rather, a combination of a lot of things. I was sad, tired, and exhausted. I had a lot of clashing classes because of the courses I was still taking from my lower class. Studying got even harder to do. There were back to back tests and I was extremely anxious because I was scared of failing again. It was a really difficult year for me. 

    I’m so sorry. Did your dad know?

    He didn’t. I was too ashamed to call home. I wanted to fight all on my own, so I decided to repeat the entire session so I could retake all the courses I failed. To my surprise, I failed again. This time, it was because I fell sick during exams. My test results were good, but the exams were awful. It destroyed my CGPA, and I was placed on probation by the school. 

    Honestly, I should have applied for a deferral. It’s just that the thought didn’t cross my mind until one of my lecturers saw me repeating a class. When I told him I fell sick, he mentioned the deferral, but it was already too late. I was on probation. 

    It was after being put on probation I decided to tell my dad what was going on. We spoke extensively, and I still convinced him I could do it. So, I pushed on to year five, with courses from year three and four still on my neck and a probation. 

    I managed to pass, but my overall CGPA was not enough to get me out of probation. I was constantly praying for death. I’d rather die than see myself disappoint my father.

    Having pcos didn’t make it easier for me. The increased anxiety and depression PCOS brings made everything even harder.

    I’m so sorry. PCOS too? 

    The first time I had my period was when I was 11, and it was absolutely painful. Since then, it comes about once or twice a year. Nobody enjoys seeing their period, so I wasn’t bothered because I felt I was God’s favourite. 

    In 2017, I went to see my gynaecologist to complain about my lack of a period. After some tests and ultrasounds, I was diagnosed with PCOS. However, I only decided to get treatment for it in 2018 because the people around me were worried by the fact that I hardly ever saw my period. When I went to the hospital, the doctor told me that I didn’t need to worry about it and should come back when I want to have a baby. 

    Do you intend on going back? 

    Not really. The fact that I don’t see my period regularly doesn’t bother me. I even prefer it this way. What does bother me is the other side effects like anxiety, depression, weight gain, acne and a host of others. Even the infertility aspect doesn’t bother me as much. I’m a muslim woman, and if my husband marries more than one wife, I could help take care of my stepchildren. Also, I’m very open to the idea of adoption. 

    When was the last time you saw your period?

    In March, after my gynaecologist placed me on some medication. I bled for 20 days consecutively and decided I didn’t want to do that anymore, so I stopped taking the medication. I can’t be dealing with school and never ending bleeding. 

    Yes, about school. What now? 

    Well, because my CGPA wasn’t enough to get me out of probation, I was withdrawn from the faculty of pharmacy in my final year. Then, I reapplied for a change of course to the agriculture department.

    How is that going? 

    They haven’t approved my application yet, so my parents are still trying to convince me to study pharmacy again, but I don’t think I can. If my application is denied, I’d rewrite JAMB next year and apply for agriculture. 

    Do you think all of this could have been avoided if you just studied Agriculture from the beginning? 

    Honestly? Yes, I do. Agriculture is a four year course. It doesn’t have a schedule as tight as pharmacy, and I genuinely enjoy it. They also wouldn’t have asked me to withdraw from the faculty because I have a CGPA that’s less than a 2.4. 

    Does that make you resent your parents? 

    No, it doesn’t. Why will I resent them because I failed? I wouldn’t have if I had passed and gotten good grades. 

    What’s next for you now? 

    Trying to get my life together again. I don’t sleep as often at night anymore because I keep thinking of how I can no longer be dependent on my parents. I also worry about failing agricultural sciences. What then will I do with my life? It’s only book I know; I’m not a business person. I just need everything to work out for me. 

    I hope everything works out well for you.

    Thank you.

    [donation]

  • 7 Nigerians On The Worst Things About Private Universities

    We’ve dragged federal universities here on the worst things about them. Now, it’s time to hear from people who attended or are in private Nigerian universities.

    Asides exorbitant fees, what is the price they pay to study in these religious and non-religious private unis? Read on to find out.

    Anne, 21

    My university has horrible hostels and living conditions. It’s even worse for medical students coupled with the fact that we pay more for accommodation than all the other students. There’s also poor maintenance of the school buildings. Can you believe grasses are taller than the students? I understand that it’s the first private school in Nigeria but at least maintain the buildings! They have horrible health care services; the clinic is basically an empty building, the drugs are expensive for nothing. Sometimes if you’re sick and you need drugs or injection, you’d have to buy it yourself.

    Joshua, 16

    The fees are outrageous. I paid 4 million Naira in my first year for basic biology. Nothing is changing in the school and now, they’ve increased the fees by 1.4 million Naira! Everything here is overpriced. I feel like they buy things outside and multiply the price by two. Water too is very dirty, and as a result, we have to buy water to bathe. Something that shouldn’t even be happening. Fungi was growing on the walls in my room, and we pleaded with them to fix it, but they didn’t. There is a compulsory acceptance fee of 200k you have to pay before you enter the school, which I think is unnecessary. Another thing I hate is that students are not allowed to leave the school for any reason except when you’re about to die. Mind you, their health care services are terrible as well. There are rumours that a boy died last semester due to the late arrival of ambulances. Things are that bad. The owner of the school doesn’t renovate existing buildings. All he does is build new ones he can boast about. Worse still, the Medicine and Surgery College auditorium is very horrible. You can’t sit on half of the seats there, and some places on the roof are leaking. I also hate the fact that we have classes from 8 a.m till 9 p.m. It’s exhausting.In this school, if you fail just one course, you’ll be asked to opt for another course in the same department. It happened to me because for some reason, they couldn’t find one of my results. I had to go through the ordeal of trying to get another JAMB admission letter.A conference was held to discuss the state of things and parents demanded for changes, but nothing changed.

    Shola, 22

    They think they’re doing students and parents a favour because they’re not affected by strikes and unforeseen circumstances like COVID. Basically, they’re pompous and think they can do anything they want e.g increasing school fees, making weird rules, and you can’t complain because where else can you go? The rules! I swear to God, private universities come up with the weirdest rules and regulations. Again, the school management has this haughty mentality because they’re free of government influence and can run shit however they want to an extent. If there are any complaints from the student body, they’ll slap you with something like “If you cannot adhere to our rules and let the school pass through you, then get out. There are applicants begging to be in your shoes. We can fill your spot anytime.” The restrictions on dressing and hairstyle is tolerable for me, but it still sucks.

    Dami, 19

    I’m in a private school, and the worst thing about it is the fact that it’s overly restrictive and they treat us like kids. The dress code is ridiculous. We even have a seven p.m. curfew. Our hostel porters have way too much power in my own opinion. Then school food is bad and expensive at the same time. Although the university isn’t owned by a church, we’re required to go to church twice a week.

    Daniel, 26

    So the private university I attended makes service compulsory, and we had 4 services in a week, minus hall worship. Your fees cover feeding, but the food is subpar, let’s not even talk about the long queues to get it. Or how faith-based universities have silly rules like no jeans. What has it done?? Why no jeans? Also, women couldn’t wear trousers except for sports. Like why??? They have the most absurd rules. I left in 2015, I don’t know if things have changed now.

    Ibk, 24

    Private universities don’t encourage individuality. They put so much fear in you, you forget the person you are. The school creates a bubble and locks you in. It makes it difficult for you to navigate real life and question authority. A lot of the schools also make you live in fear. You don’t know how to be expressive of what you are really going through. They treat adults like babies. I went to CU and it was a horrible experience for me. The classes are small which is a good thing and lecturers can notice every student, but it’s hard for lecturers to care about the students who are not doing well. They expend more energy on students who are doing well and are visibly disdainful to students who struggle with school.

    Jamila, 20

    The one thing that stands out for me about the private university I attend is how nonchalant the school is about their students’ well-being. For starters, the food isn’t quality and it is overpriced. There are times when all the ATMs in the school would stop working at once, and it could stay like that for weeks. Church service is their priority and you can’t leave the hall until the service is over. One time, they didn’t let my friend out even though she was having an asthma attack. I had to beg. To top it all, they are so indecisive about the resumption dates and could spontaneously decide to change the already set date few days before it arrives. This can make students from all over the country to cancel their already booked flights. Then the way they try to suppress and silence students whenever we want to speak up about something we don’t like or think needs to change is sad.

  • 8 Nigerians On The Worst Things About Federal Universities

    The educational system, amongst other failing “systems” in Nigeria is the absolute ghetto. Students in Federal universities seem to have it worse; from strikes to poor learning environments, and even strict dress codes imposed on them.

    Read these 8 stories to get a closer glimpse into the struggles of the average Nigerian student and the worst things about Federal universities.

    Lanre, 24

    I attended a university that periodically went on strikes, and I hated it. Also, the fact that they are more prone to robbery. I mean, there was no semester where we weren’t afraid of being robbed or heard of hostels that were robbed. I found the class schedule tiring, especially in my department. It was as if the lecturers thought we had no other life aside from being a student.

    Jay, 25

    I completed my undergraduate studies in a federal university this year. One thing I hate about my experience is the lack of proper transportation system. I had a lot of issues with that from 100 – 400 level. I remember standing in queues for hours just to get a bus out of school, and standing on the road to get one going inside the school. The annoying thing is that most of the classes were usually slated for 8 a.m. The lecturers do not even want to understand the plight of students. It’s just terrible. Students should be able to access transportation easily like other places around the world.

    Anthony, 23

    One thing I hate about federal universities is lecturers not being properly monitored. How will a lecturer not come to class for like 2 weeks and still expect to be paid the month’s salary? Also, they don’t update their knowledge on the current developments playing out in their fields. I don’t know if it’s sheer laziness or unwillingness, but it’s really pathetic. The same lecturer would want you to pass a test or exam for a course you haven’t been taught.

    Esther, 22

    I hate everything about federal universities, honestly. From the lecturers who see themselves as next to God, to the countless struggles one has to deal with; dilapidated buildings, broken seats, and somehow, you’re expected to focus in class. Then, I detest that the school authorities keep bragging about how “A certificate from here is better than a certificate from private universities.” All lies! It’s just suffering. I’m in 400 level and can’t wait to be out.

    Efe, 24

    What I hate about my university is how wack lecturers in my department are. They just come into the lecture venue, read from a textbook and when you ask a question they don’t give any answer. We have inadequate facilities and equipment as well. Something I also can’t wrap my head around is having to pay the nonacademic staff to simply do their jobs.

    Faith, 21

    Federal universities are the absolute worst. Using my university as a case study, the hostels are like prison yards where they send hardened criminals. Even animals shouldn’t live there. Then let’s talk about the management and staff, both academic and nonacademic. They are like prison wardens sent to stress your life. Just small power you give them and they think they are the next best thing after sliced bread. Lecture halls are always packed with no place for students to sit except you come really early. Then the one that pisses me off the most is that I have to buy water because our taps do not rush. Let’s not even talk about how lecturers sell results and force students to buy handouts. By the way, my university is supposed to be “highly acclaimed.”

    Cheta, 21

    Omo. The strikes are never ending oh. When you are in the middle of a semester, they’ll just decide to strike. Sometimes I wonder if these lecturers have a conscience that pricks them. They always mark students down. At the end of a semester, you’ll see your exam or test scores and be surprised. Honestly, I just want to be done.

    Debbie, 23

    See ehn, I’m tired of this university and I can’t wait to leave them and their wahala. I’m in my finals, and outside classes, there’s really nothing the system has offered by way of advantage as it relates to the outside world. Everything I know about careers and positioning myself for opportunities I’ve had to be intentional about learning by myself. There is the constant bus issue that drains my soul. After a long day of lectures, you get to the school park hoping to get home and rest, only to see a long ass queue. They allot small venues for courses that over 400 students are offering. Where are you supposed to sit? There are the lecturers who are simply a bad fit for the courses they teach. Mind you, nothing really works, not even the wall clocks in lecture halls. There’s also the dress code and how they harass students for fixing nails, hair extensions and other insignificant things.

  • 7 Ways Nollywood Lied To Gen-Z Nigerians About University Life

    A lot of Gen-Z Nigerians grew up watching Nollywood movies that centred a lot on the University experience and campus life. Some of those movies may have gingered you to want to enter University. However, we were not expecting to be lied to, bamboozled, and led astray by Nollywood.

    1) Hostels

    What kind of hostels were used in those movies? Because it definitely wasn’t any federal University hostels. The hostels in Nollywood were too clean, organized and not crowded. Nollywood movies would have two or three girls in a room and that was it. While in real life, some schools have as many as 8 or 9 students in a room.

    2) Normal class times

    I think the biggest lie Nollywood told was that University classes started at normal times of the day like 9 a.m. or even 10 a.m. Unlike real life where some people start classes by 7:30 a.m. Nollywood should please.

    3) Lack of bad boys

    Nollywood promised me a Jim Iyke type boy that would be completely enamoured by me and worship the ground I walk on. I got none of that. They even went as far as promising a love triangle between the notorious cultist and the small town village boy. Where is it? The lack of well known bad boys that usually come late to class in singlet and sagging shorts with a bandana tied around their neck or head is really stressing me and my homegirls.

    4) Lack of a will to live

    The characters in these Nollywood movies seemed so excited to be alive. This is very unlike University life where the collective will to live of your entire department can fit into one of those mini bags. A lot of University students do not want to be alive, so how come the ones in Nollywood do? Something is not right.

    5) Lack of bad girl bullies

    Not only are there hardly any bad boys, there is also a scarcity of bad girls. Sure there are baddies and slay Queens, but what about the girls that are meant to be bullying others because they did not have the latest phones. Where are the girls that go around school reminding everyone else that they stink of poverty?

    6) Children of powerful government officials

    The biggest lie Nollywood told was that a Senator’s child will attend the same Federal University as the child of a civil servant. Whereas, majority of them schooled outside the country. How did they convince us that the President’s daughter would be in a Federal University? If any of them were to even school in Nigeria, it will be in one of those Universities that cost millions of naira to attend. The leaders are scared that the people might take their anger out on their children.

    7) The girls aren’t fighting

    I was expecting drama, suspense, intrigue, but I got none of that. Apparently, the fear of rustication hinders anyone from fighting inside the campus. Why then did Nollywood always show the two top “big girls of campus” bitchslapping each other because of a man?

    For more content like this, click here

    [donation]

  • 7 Things Anybody That Attends UniBen Can Relate To

    If you are a student of the UniBen, then here are some things you definitely understand how they work. They are not new to you, and you are not new to them.

    1) Shouting don’t pour when you want to cross the gutter in the hostel

    If you enter the hostel and you want to cross under the gutter, you better shout with all of your might “don’t pour” if not, Santana pot that someone soaked for three days might be the next thing to land on your head. If water is inside the pot pours on your body, there is nothing you can do. Don’t even try shouting because it won’t solve anything. Just go and have your bath before the smell will soak inside your body.

    2) Walking from the main gate to bank road

    Someone thought it was a good idea to move the buses from the car park at main gate, to the park at bank road. One might even want to call that person wicked, but that person is the VC and you want to graduate. Imagine all the trekking you would do if you live on 19th street.

    You after walking

    3) The Sun

    Rumour has it that UniBen has a separate sun from the rest of Benin. Don’t believe me? Check your weather map before and after you leave the school. The place is hot unnecessarily. It makes me wonder, maybe UniBen is Nigeria’s portal to hellfire. In fact, maybe UniBen is hell.

    4) Shot put

    Oh, you think UniBen has enough money and time to teach the actual shot put sport? LMAO

    Personally, I refuse to be the only to explain it. God Bless you.

    5) Lack of network

    The school probably made a deal with internet providers just because they wanted us to suffer. Why else does network almost completely disappear when in school? Especially when you get to faculty??? Now, you’re actually forced to listen to your lecturers in class. Do they think that’s what we came to school for???

    6) Always collecting your change

    The ten naira other people might leave could be the difference between you trekking to you department, or taking the bus. That is why UniBen students always collect change. How else will they be paying for thirty naira bus all the time?

    once they collect all their ten and twenty naira change

    7) Stress and suffering, trials and tribulations

    UniBen students are suffering. They wake up, take a deep breath and go “God, school again.” Trials and tribulations are things they know all too well. The stress of schooling in UniBen is turning their hair grey and making their blood pressure high. Those people are walking zombies.

    that’s why you should be sending them money unprovoked. Please.

    If you want to know what is inside this life, please click here


  • 7 Nigerians On Dropping Out Of University

    Growing up, a lot of us are taught that there is an exact way we are supposed to progress. We go from primary school to secondary school to university, get a job and then marry. It’s linear and exact. However, real-life isn’t that simple. A good number of people opt out of this race at different points and for different reasons. Today, we spoke to seven people who decided a uni education isn’t for them or had to leave uni.

    Mimi, 21.
    I dropped out but I went to a school in England. My mom and some of her colleagues were being probed by EFCC. And I knew it was going to affect my school fees being paid. Plus I never liked England. So that was my call to back out quick. For now, I’m doing nothing. I really want to relax in Nigeria. I just want to be jobless for a while. As for my mom, I told her to just let me chill and enjoy the money EFCC hasn’t seized from her. I live with mum so most things are covered and the extra things, my dad and my other siblings send me money when they can. I can’t lie I didn’t realise how bad it affected my plans until recently but I plan on moving back to England to just live there and probably work a bit until I figure out what I want to do with my life. My original plan was to go to uni and then go on to become a solicitor. But I don’t think I even know how to read anymore. I’m also a British citizen so it’s easier to rely on another country for my unplanned future.

    Afam, 24.

    For me leaving uni was a matter of realizing that it wasn’t providing value to me. The university system here is shit, and according to it, I was dumb. I failed courses, I was horrible with classmates and it made me depressed. Then I started coding and designing and I was good at it. It’s funny how when I brought that real-life know-how to classes in Uni where I was studying computer science, I would still fail but outside, I was doing well. That’s when I realized that uni was all about knowing enough to pass an examination, at least in Nigeria. The day I decided to leave was when on my second full-time tech role, I heard how much my lecturer was making and I realized I was earning twice what he was being paid. I was twenty-three, he was several decades older than me, had been working for much longer but I was already out-earning him and I was just getting started. That made something click in me, so I got out of the system. I dropped out two weeks later.

    Mel, 22.
    I dropped out because I realized I was fooling myself, what I was studying wasn’t my career part. I never wanted to study Human Resources Management, I wanted to be a lawyer. Nobody ever noticed but I was unhappy about it. I’m very intelligent but I flunked in school and I never took my classes seriously. Sometimes I just paid my lecturers to get through to the next semester. Now I’m going after the things I love doing and not what my mum wants. I feel at peace being in control of my life. When I was in Uni, I was so depressed because I didn’t know what to do next. The question of “are you done with school?” “have you gotten a job?” “what are you currently doing?” It was unbearable, my anxiety went so high that I almost killed myself. I felt like a failure because why would any reasonable person drop out in their final year right? But now? Fuck it! I don’t give a single fuck if anyone sees me as a failure, I don’t owe them anything. Now I’m happy and I’m currently working on getting my psychology degree from the University of London. For real, I’m happy and I’m making the right decisions for my future so to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise.

    Vona, 26.
    First, I dropped out because I couldn’t pay school fees. I had the money to pay before I even needed to pay but I was in a relationship with someone at the time and he came to one day saying he needed help, I loaned him the money with the promise that he would pay back before resumption. He didn’t and then he moved out of the country with my money, I never heard from him again. When it was time for resumption, I couldn’t pay fees, was too ashamed to ask anyone for help and I, unfortunately, had to drop out. It has changed my life plans, I can’t get a job. I’m not much of a business person and doing small businesses to survive is hard as I want to be in an office space working but I can’t do that as nobody wants to employ an SSCE holder for jobs. I’ve wasted my life and it hurts. I’m ashamed that I’m a dropout, I hate to meet new people because people want to know what you do, where you work. What do I say? That I’m a dropout who has nothing going for her? I can’t show up anywhere because I’m always the odd one out. It’s just safer to stay indoors and never go out. At first, nobody in my family knew until two years later when they started hounding me for NYSC and I had to come clean. My Dad outrightly disowned me, it was one of the toughest periods in my life because I left the house that morning with a bag of clothes and 20k. It’s been a few years now, my mom is no more disappointed but I and my dad don’t talk and haven’t seen each other since then.

    Yasmin, 20.

    I dropped out partially due to attempted assault. And uni was high workload with low reward. The system was archaic. We were using learning materials from the 1970s and a course that was supposed to be very in-depth and practical oriented was DIY. It has affected my life and plans. I sometimes feel like all the time I spent fighting to study that course is now a waste. But it’s helped me figure out what my dream means to me and how to work around it while pursuing something else. I was very anxious about dropping out. Firstly because it felt like I had wasted their money. A part of me wanted to just suck up the mental exhaustion I was facing and just finish but I couldn’t. A lot of people also felt I was spoiled, they’d say ‘if you go to a different uni and the lecturer tries to assault you again will you drop out again.‘ It is very scary how much sexual assault is downplayed in uni. Up until the day I was going to quit I kept thinking about all the people I left high school with graduating the next year and how I’d be starting afresh but we’re meant for different things. Anyways, so I couldn’t chicken out I didn’t go for exams so that was a sure way to drop out. The funny thing is my parents were so pro-dropping out. They just wanted me to have fun till the semester was over and come home. They kept wondering why I still bothered going to classes. My mum especially was very supportive and she keeps telling me not to run on anyone else’s time.

    Olayinka, 24.
    I was 17. I was in my second year. I just knew I didn’t fit in. I wanted to do it for my family but the more I tried the more it sucked. So one day I just woke up, told myself I wasn’t going to do it anymore. I called my parents and told them I forgot to pay my school fees and although I did intentionally delay my fees but it was still something I could fix but I didn’t want to fix it. Fast forward to today, nobody wants to employ someone who doesn’t own a degree. Sometimes I feel insecure about it. I am one of the smartest girls I know but I’ve had to quit work so many times because I’m constantly being treated like a slave. You do all the work for our so-called graduates and they earn way more than you do.
    One time I met this guy who said he liked me and wanted us to date. I told him I was a dropout and he told me he couldn’t be with someone who dared to throw her life away. I felt anxious at the initial stage but as soon as I decided to end it. I felt really good about it. I never even thought I’d get a job. Like a real job. Everyone told me I wouldn’t and for a while, that scared me but I’m in a much better space now and I have come to love myself for making that decision. That night as soon as I got home, we had this huge argument at home. My Dad kept on blaming my mom for it and I felt horrible. The next morning at exactly 5 am my parents took me to the park and told me I was going to live with my aunt in Ilorin. My mom didn’t talk to me for four months, and my dad never took me seriously afterwards and that was the hardest part for me

    Ofeh, 25.
    I wanted to study medicine but UNIBEN gave me Educational Psychology. That didn’t make sense so I always planned to leave. In my second year, I wrote jamb and got admission to a different school and aside from it being a rugged school, they gave me Biochemistry. No point going from a course I didn’t want to another course I did not want. At the same time, my dad was trying to get me and my brother out of Nigeria or so he told me. However, only my brother ended up leaving. I stayed because my dad said I’m the first child, I need to be close to home. The gag was that I had already checked out of UNIBEN unbeknownst to anyone. I wasn’t attending classes or taking exams. When I realized I was not going anywhere, I tried to rectify it. I went to my course adviser but she was so mean, shouting at everyone in her office. I was too scared to say anything and even though, I didn’t tell anybody anything. At that point, I was supposedly in 300 level but I had never registered for any of my 200 level courses or written the exams. I didn’t do any assignments or tests. I was practically not a student but I lied for another two years because I was too scared to tell anyone or confront the truth myself. I don’t regret dropping out. It’s one of the events that made my life go the way it is now and I’m grateful I got it. However the years before I told anyone, I would lock myself in my room for days, no food. Just snacks, weed and tears. I went to a psychiatrist in 2018 and I got diagnosed and that’s how I know now that my mental health was a part of it. My parents were actually very supportive of my decision. It was surprising because I told them when I was supposedly in final year. Before then I had been lying that I had issues that would cost me extra year, missing script, etc. I eventually wrote my dad a long email telling him I had dropped out and he called me. He asked if I was alone and told me not to cry and to come home. He kept telling to not worry, that I’ll be fine.

  • The Elevator: I Dropped Out Of University And Started Working On Radio – Kiki Mordi

    The Elevator is a limited Zikoko series that details the growth of young successful Nigerian women. We tell their stories every Tuesday by 12 p.m. 

    After dropping out of the University of Benin where she studied biochemistry, 29-year-old Kiki Mordi went on to become a radio presenter, TV producer, presenter, writer and lead investigator in the Emmy nominated documentary, Sex for Grades.


    What did you want to be when you were younger?

    A doctor. I like doctors. My eldest sister got sick a lot, so we were always at the hospital. The doctors I saw, with their white coats, had some kind of charisma. They looked really important, and I wanted to be as important.

    Did you study medicine at uni then? 

    No, actually. I studied biochemistry. In Nigeria, what you want is secondary to what is available to you and that’s what happened. People told me not to go for medicine because it would be hard to get admission, and at the time I was applying, I was also second-guessing my choice for studying medicine. 

    Many things started to make studying medicine look bad. As I heard stories of medical students who committed suicide in Uniben, medicine started to look less and less attractive. I also didn’t consider myself mentally strong enough to handle more challenges —  I had just lost my dad. I decided to go for the easier option and for something smaller. I was going to study pharmacy, but I ended up with biochemistry. 

    I know you wanted something smaller, but why pharmacy?

    I felt it was a saner aspect of medicine. You still get to help people but you don’t have to deal with the blood or the horror. Honestly, by the time I was in secondary school, I didn’t think I wanted to be a doctor anymore. I only went into the sciences because I had good grades and the guidance counsellor in school told me I would be good in the sciences.

    What was university like?

    It felt like I was just launched into this flowing river channel and I wasn’t paddling; I was just letting the river decide where I was going. When I started university, I met new demons that I had to battle: friendship, love, heartbreak, sexual harassment, misogyny, patriarchy, inequality. 

    It was substantial and occasional growing up. The misogyny was something that I could easily forget because I was protected by layers and layers of privilege, but out there in the real world, everything was thrown in my face. I learned you have to take a stand, find a place and own it. In the course of fighting various battles in my university, sexual harassment being one of the primary headlines, I dropped out and found myself a radio job.

    How exactly? 

    I was really just bored. School was terrible to me, and I was depressed. I didn’t care about anything they wanted to tell me in class and my classroom reminded me of the lecturer that was making my semester a living nightmare. I was just floating around and looking for hobbies. One day I followed a friend to a reading audition. At the audition, the head of the programme said I had an interesting voice and told me to try out. I tried out and I got the job. It was not a paying job, but it was a job nonetheless. It came at a point where I wanted to leave Uniben and go back to Port Harcourt where I grew up, so since I had something new and exciting, I didn’t have to go back to Port Harcourt.

    Did you like the job? 

    I fell in love with it. I would sleep in the studio, not because they were overworking me, but because I was overworking myself. I wanted to do more, and learn more. It was all so exciting to me. I’m so grateful because the team gave me a chance. I had spoken to people who worked before me and it took them a while to get their own live programs, but I think they just found me exciting, and were also affected by my excitement so they gave me my own live program. 

    What was it about? 

    It started out as a weekend program because I was not experienced enough to handle weekdays, but eventually, I started working weekday shows. Sometimes when people were out sick, they asked me to come up with a program or read the news and I would happily do it. I did that for about two years until a new radio station came into town and poached me. They offered me a salary of 100k. So I went from zero to 100k. 

    Wait, even with all the excitement and shows, they never paid you? 

    They didn’t. They kept promising that they would start me off with a salary of 50k, but it never happened. I wasn’t so bothered because I had started making money from voiceovers. Brands would come and specifically ask for my voice, and I was getting paid about 15k. Then I found out I could get paid 150k. 

    Wow. They were really cheating you. 

    When you’re new in the industry, nobody wants to tell you the real amount you can be paid for things. Even now, people still try to cheat me. It’s Nigeria, we’re all trying to maga each other.  

    Okay, so back to your new job

    When the offer came, I didn’t even think twice before accepting it. It was a new space, and we were the ones going to grow the radio station. The ideas were going to be ours, and we would carve out what we wanted. I was sold. It was the most seamless team I had ever worked with. We were all really good at different things. They put us in one location where we were constantly bouncing ideas off of each other. Everything from the radio programs to the structure was things we created by ourselves.  One of the things that made working here so great was that we were all the best. I had worked in offices where I was so obviously the best, and it felt very annoying. It was a very beautiful three years for me. 

    What did you talk about on the radio? 

     I could talk about whatever I wanted, and I found myself always talking about women’s issues. I had things I was passionate about like startups, tech, and women’s issues. Women’s issues, however, really stood out. It was one of the most listened to radio programs. It helped me to build a strong voice —  people always wanted to call in and challenge me on my own radio program. They always wanted their voice to be louder than mine. 

    How did you not break down with all of that? 

    It could be because I was more excited than anything, or maybe the comfort I got from the fact that I had a lot of control. If I didn’t like what they were saying, I could control it. The control gave me safety.  

    What happened next?

    I had to leave the station. I had outgrown the city. The only reason I came to Benin City was because of school. So, I took a leap of faith and decided to try new adventures. Plus, we no longer had competition. We were the best, we won all the awards and it got boring. I wasn’t even the only one that left. A lot of us from the pioneer set did too, and I think that is the downside of hiring very passionate, talented people. If you do not keep them excited all the time they’d leave you and run away. It was a great working condition, but I was getting bored. 

    How did you handle being bored with work? 

    Well, since I was promoted and was in charge a lot, I found myself jumping from one place to another, trying out different things. I tried to see if I could make money off of social media. I have been on social media for about 12 years, and to an extent, I started to know how it worked. When businesses approached for adverts for radio, I would talk to them about brand identity and social media. I worked with a graphic designer, and we were a really strong team. We helped some start-ups polish their business. I enjoyed working on that. I always knew it wasn’t only radio I could do. I was always a hustler. 

    Does that mean radio was not your first-ever job? 

    It wasn’t. I used to write. I did a bunch of writing gigs.  I didn’t keep track of all the things I wrote for people. I just know I did research for newspapers, wrote jingles, and got paid chicken change. Sometimes 1k. I could have contributed to an article and when the article dropped, I wouldn’t even know. I wasn’t following up with it. Radio was my first actual thing. The writing was just money for snacks and transportation to the job that didn’t pay me. I also used to buy things from Lagos to sell in Benin when I was a student to get extra pocket money. 

    Why do you think never pursued writing as much as you did radio? 

    I didn’t pursue it at the time because it did not sound like something that was supposed to fetch money. I just thought it was something I did when I was bored, excited or heartbroken. It did not look like something that was a lucrative career path. However, I’m trying to write more. I had my first writing attributed to me last year. It’s like now that I started writing, more opportunities started coming. I truly envision that the bulk of this year will be split equally between writing and filmmaking. Less of radio and less of TV. I’ve always found myself jumping from one place to another. 

    Where did you go after leaving radio?

    I found a radio station online called women’s radio, and one of the engineers that worked on our radio station was the one that drew my attention to it. He said I would be a perfect fit for the place. So I reached out to them and sent out an audition tape and in a couple of months, I moved to Lagos. It’s funny because they had just promoted me at the time I had to leave, and that made me almost not leave.  

    What was it like working in Lagos? 

    In Benin, the amount I paid for a three-bedroom apartment was what I paid for my one-bedroom apartment in Lagos. It was like I was starting afresh and finding my own voice, but this time it wasn’t by accident. I would leave my house around 4 am in the morning, and not return till around midnight. My neighbours used to gossip about me, about the kind of work I did. 

    Was the job worth all of the Lagos stress?

    Yes, it was. I had a lot of doors opened up for me, and I have my boss to thank for that as well. She saw that it was not just a job for me, that it was more than that. It was special. So, when people needed someone for jobs, she would confidently recommend me. She just wanted me to get out there, open my wings, and fly. It was not coming with money at first, but it was part of the reason I was able to encounter organisations like United Nations, UN Women, and I started getting more and more visible in women’s spaces while building a network of women who saw me as a person that was relatable. 

    How do you mean by relatable?

    We did a survey and found out that women do not trust the media, that they do not trust the press. Luckily, they saw me beyond being a journalist, beyond someone that just wanted to take their story and use it for clicks and views. They saw me as part of the community, and I was. I was a woman that went through the same things they went through. I would happily share my story, and talk about taboo topics. I decided to grow that network on Twitter. A lot of people used to dm me. Someone from the British High Commission once messaged me about a women’s focused event they thought I would be a great addition to, and I wondered how they saw me because I felt like I was drowning. Lagos has a way of making you feel like you are not doing enough. Anyway, my community on Twitter was very instrumental in how I moved from radio to investigative journalism. 

    How did that happen? 

    My first introduction to investigative journalism was by a person who DM’ed me on Twitter. Someone reached out to me and said they were looking for leads for the story they were doing on sexual harassment in Nigerian Universities. We set up a meeting and I met with some people from BBC Pidgin and BBC Africa, and I worked with them solely as a researcher for a couple of months, but along the line, they felt like I had more to offer than research. We trained for going undercover, and secret filming. For me, it was not just the journalism, it was sexual harassment that plunged me into this place, and it was like I was confronting my past. Everything I did was on autopilot. Unlike every other person at the time, some of who were full-time staff of the BBC or were freelancers, I had a day job.

    How did you cope with two full-time jobs?

    My job with the radio was failing because you cannot have two fully packed full-time jobs. So, I had to come clean with my boss at the radio station, and tell her the truth about the investigation. She was so proud of me and told me about her own sexual harassment story, and we cried and hugged and she gave me her blessing. 

    It was such a sensitive case and I could not give her details, but she just understood and made up excuses for me at work. I would get queried a million and one times. She tried to do what she could do, but she also did not want to seem like she had a favourite staff that was messing up and she kept covering for. She did this for almost a year. For the first part, I could manage, but then it got too much. I had to take time off and at a point, I asked them for a sabbatical, which was something they gave to senior staff which I wasn’t at the time, but my MD approved it. I was dealing with a lot of mental health issues and had months of depression that I was able to pull out from. 

    I was beginning to have panic attacks, and I also had a chronic eye disease that required lots of tests. My ophthalmologist wanted to monitor my eyes every day, and my office was basically in Ogun State while my doctor was in VGC. So, they gave me the time off on the basis of that. I had moved closer to the BBC office and was investigating sexual harassment while also taking care of my eyesight.

    That sounds a lot for one person to be handling. 

    I mean in hindsight you can say it, but when you are in the middle of it all, all you can keep thinking about is how close you are to finish it, and how you just have to keep going. 

    What would you say was your motivation to keep going

    It was like a drug, or like an external force. It was no longer in my hands. There was a day I even said I was going to quit. I had nightmares and when I woke up, I just started working on the thing I was supposed to quit. I just had to finish it. Not just that, but it was a promise to all these people I had spoken to, and a promise to myself. I had gotten really close to addressing my past. I had gone to my school, my department, and stood outside my lecturer’s office. That day was too much, it was hell. 

    Is there something you want to try that you haven’t tried?

    Well, actually, I wanted to get into tech, but it was just for the money. I was not interested in writing code and other technical parts of tech. I really just wanted to build something that would fetch me money for the rest of my life. I want to be rich, and I want to invest in something that will help me be that. I don’t think I’ve seen any rich journalists before. 

    You mentioned going into TV at the beginning of this interview

    Oh yes, TV. The only terrestrial TV station I worked on was Silverbird, and it was when I was still working for free. I didn’t even know what I was doing was production. I eventually worked for an online TV that did not have a long lifespan. 

    At women’s radio, I did documentary filmmaking. I keep saying Life At The Bay is my first documentary, but it actually is not. The one I did for women’s radio about family planning where we interviewed a woman in Ogun State who had so many children, and her only means of family planning was getting an abortion, and her husband would not wear a condom. . 

    With all of these many things you do, how do you rest? 

    I’ve tried various methods. I’ve tried working for a long stretch and then resting, but that did not work because while I was supposed to be resting, I remembered work. The other method I think is working is that I work and rest simultaneously. I take breaks every week. It could be spending the weekend at the beach, or just relaxing indoors watching Netflix. I also work on vacations, and I do not beat myself up a lot about it because I still rest. 

    What do you do now? 

    Well, radio is no longer my full-time job. I had a contract with The Initiative for Equal Rights for a radio program called chapter four, and that is done. Chapter four in the constitution is focused on human rights, so on the radio show, we tore about that chapter into digestible bits so the ordinary people on radio can understand. It was a very interesting job to do while simultaneously working for the National Human Rights Commission. 

    National Human Rights Commission?

    So, they set up a panel to investigate gender and sexual-based violence across Nigeria. What we did was travel across Nigeria gathering data, documenting, researching, and following up. All of the information went to the National Human Rights Commission, so technically I am a government worker. 

    So, what’s next for you? 

    There was a time I used to be scared of that question because I was not sure of the next step, but now I am scared of the question because what’s next is a lot. Well, a lot of the things I will be doing will not be visible until it is visible. Like how nobody heard about sex for grades until it was out. I have a documentary coming out with an organisation, and it’s very Nigerian centric. I also have a platform I had been building called Document Women. I’ve also been working on a series of podcasts and doing some work with the BBC. I’ve also been educating myself on filmmaking, and I will definitely make more films. When I graduate from my filmmaking course, I’ll go into filmmaking full time. I have also started to put my name on bylines, and beyond these articles, I have started to write a book.

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  • QUIZ: What Type Of University Student Were You?

    We can all agree that universities have different types of students. Can we guess the type you were?

    Take this quiz to find out:

  • 5 Students, 1 Question: Will You Get Married While In University?

    What does life look like for Gen Z Nigerians everywhere in the world? Every Friday, we ask five Gen Z Nigerian students one question in order to understand their outlook of life. 


    Marrying while in the University is something that has been happening for a while. It was especially more popular among women in older generations, so we asked five students if they will get married while still trying to get a degree

    Here is what they said:

    Samantha; College of Medicine (UniLag), 20

    Why will I do that? So when my mates are saying they have outings to go to, I’ll be running back home because of my husband? God forbid.

    Nonso; Ambrose Ali University, 21

    If I get a girl pregnant, I think I might. I do not like the idea of children growing up in broken homes. Other than that, I do not think so.

    Zainab; University of Ibadan, 19

    Let Nigeria remove the SSMPA then I’ll think about it. Until then; get this bread, get this head, then leave.

    Adam; University of Port Harcourt, 20

    Don’t kill me please. How many fuck I don fuck wey I go marry?

    Fadekemi; Covenant, 21

    Honestly, I’m tired of school. School stresses me out. If I see a rich man who’ll marry me and take care of me and my family, I don’t mind. Especially if he has no children and is about to die. Who school epp?


    For more stories on student life and Gen-Z culture, click here

  • The Horror Story Of Nigerian Students Who Are Studying A Course They Didn’t Want

    It hurts when you set your mind on something and don’t get it — and this is the reality for a lot of Nigerian students who didn’t get the course they wanted to study. If you went through this, you will definitely relate to this:

    1. You, filling out your JAMB form confident that you will get your preferred course

    My childhood dream is about to come true.

    2. When you write UTME and Post-UTME and you beat the university and department cut off marks

    You people are not ready!

    3. But you receive your admission letter and find out that the university is offering you another course

    Wait, what? But I wanted Law

    4. You, wondering how you will tell your friends that you didn’t get the course you were so sure was yours

    How did this even happen?

    5. When you realise that you have two options: accept the offer or wait another year at home

    What’ all this nonsense?

    7. But you can’t bear the thought of spending another year with your parents

    Hell no!


    8. And most of your friends are already in school

    I can’t carry last

    9. So, you accept the offer with plans to get a great CGPA so you can switch departments at the end of your first year

    All I have to do is read, get a 5.0 CGPA and get out of here.

    10. But you started writing tests and getting grades that could ruin your self-esteem

    Ha! What’s happening. How can I get 17/100?

    11. Then you realise that the course is not that bad and you’re beginning to like the department

    Oh, you devil, I cast and bind you.

    12. It’s now the end of the session and you’ve decided that switching to another department is not worth the stress

    This is where I belong, biko.

    13. You, when someone asks you why you’re still in the department

    But what’s your own?

  • QUIZ: Which Course Should You Have Studied In University?

    Imagine you could turn back the hands of time. What would you have studied in University?

    Take the quiz to find out!

  • Aluta and Chill: 5 University Of Port Harcourt Students Share Their Wildest Campus Experiences

    Unbelievable things happen on university campuses. Sometimes, the students are active players in these things. At other times, they can only watch as the situations unfold. This week, I spoke to a couple of students studying at University of Port Harcourt and got them to talk about the wildest thing that has happened to them. From run-ins with lecturers and cultists to extortion by security operatives, these students have some stories to share.

    Angela— I fended off a lecturer’s advances and it became a problem

    University of Port Harcourt

    Sometime in my second year, I was at the faculty to attend a class when a lecturer called me into his office. He asked about my CGPA and offered to help me with whatever I didn’t understand about his course. I thought that was it until he reached for his desk and brought out some sweets, which he tried to feed me. I excused myself, telling him that I had a class to attend. He let me go with clear instructions that I had to return. 

    I didn’t go back and avoided him for the longest time. He asked my course rep to fetch me and dismissed her when we got to his office. Again, I was alone with him. He didn’t waste time this time before trying to kiss me. I was so disgusted that I didn’t know when I yelled at him to stop. He was taken aback and I used the opportunity to flee his office. 

    A few days before exams, he sent my course rep to tell me that “exam has come oh, how far?”

    I knew what that meant. However, I didn’t go to see him. When the results came out, I got an E in his course — I did well in school and I was confident that I was poised for an A. 

    I told my mum what happened. My mum told my dad. And my dad reported the situation to someone in the school senate and the person took it up. It wasn’t fun for me. Suddenly, everybody knew about it and started to spread rumours. In class, the lecturer started to pick up on me. It was really overwhelming for me. At some point, I wasn’t interested in going to class anymore. It blew over eventually, but being in that situation wasn’t a fun thing. It was too much drama.

    AJ — I was almost attacked in my lodge

    University of Port Harcourt

    One of my neighbours threw a party at my lodge. My friends and I hung around for a while before we got tired and went back to my room, thinking the night was over. Around 11 PM, one of my friends barged into the room, sick with worry. The only thing I could make out of what he was saying was that we should turn off the generator.

    We turned the generator off. Then we found out why he was so alarmed. In the silence of the night, we heard the flat side of a machete landing on people’s backs, followed by loud screams. 

    It had to be a robbery. We quickly hid our phones because there was the possibility that they would storm our room too. We also looked for a potential exit point in the ceiling where we could hide if the situation became more than we can handle.  

    Within minutes, someone was knocking on our window, ordering us to let them in. Everyone froze in fright.  We had no choice but to obey. We nominated someone to go out and open the door, expecting the worst. 

    Then this guy walked in with a machete and a gun. However, It was the chief security officer of my community.  And he was there to disrupt the party we were at earlier because nobody bribed him before the party took place. So, he came there to extort people and physically harass them. It was either that or he would call the police on them. He searched the room, looking for weed, but he found nothing and left us alone. My friends and I got out of the situation unharmed, but it was really unsettling. 

    Chinwa — My friend laced my food with weed

    University of Port Harcourt

    I went to see a friend. She cooked noodles and offered it to me. I didn’t know, but she had laced it with weed. She was supposed to make my hair, but the weed took effect quicker on her. She told me she wanted to sleep and I decided to leave. I had barely made it to the car park before I lost all sense of self. Then I realised what she had done. 

    I flagged down a cab and offered to pay for all the seats. During the ride, I found out that I didn’t have enough money on me, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get home.  Nobody picked my call when I got to the hostel, so I had to climb the flight of stairs to get money to pay the cab. 

    It was the most difficult thing I’d ever done. When I finally settled all that, I returned to my room and flopped down on my bed. Now,  I couldn’t sleep. I was so out of it that I could have sworn that the room was spinning in frantic motion.

    I didn’t know when I finally slept off or for how long I slept. But I woke up with the worst hunger ever. But it was 11 PM and all the shops had closed. I couldn’t get food until the morning. 

    Ekele — I went clubbing with friends and became stranded

    We had just finished writing the semester exam and there was a party at a club near one of the university three campuses — Choba campus. My friends thought we deserved to go out and have fun. I agreed to it after making both of them promise that we would leave early. 

    The plan was to leave the club around 9 PM. When that time came, my friends were nowhere near ready to go. I contemplated leaving them there, but I decided against it. 

    We left the club around 11 PM. However, the roads were empty, save for a few cabs. Our campus was about 30 minutes away but we were stranded. Eventually, we saw a taxi and three other people joined us. Midway into the trip, the driver said he wasn’t going to take us to our actual campus — Delta Campus — so, he dropped us off close to the main gate of Choba campus.

    Now, it was 12 midnight or thereabout. And we were three ladies walking the streets of Port Harcourt. I’d never felt unsafe like that in a long time. We weren’t going to make it to the campus, so my friends decided that they would sleep at one of their friend’s, but I wasn’t up for that. I decided to spend the night inside the school. Luckily, one of my friends was still writing her exams and was studying at the campus that night. I found her and stayed with her till until morning.  Finally, I got back to my apartment, rethinking my decisions from the previous night. I haven’t been to another club since that time.

    Belema — I  squared up with a suspected cultist

    I was watching a football match between my department and a set of guys from another department.  We were trailing behind on goals and tensions were already building up. Close to the end of the match, a player on the opposing team made a bad foul on a player from my team.

    An argument broke out because of this and it didn’t die down, even after minutes had passed. Out of nowhere, a guy came on the field and declared the match over. He acted like he owned the place and this irritated me so much.

    For some reason, everyone just stood there and did everything he said. I approached my coursemates and asked them why they let a “big olodo boy” tell them what to do. 

    A couple of his friends heard this and reported what I said to him. He was mad that I called him an olodo and turned his attention to me. He said a lot of things — about how badly he would deal with me. I don’t know where the strength came from but I stood up to him. 

    In the heat of the moment, I didn’t realise that my coursemates were asking me to keep quiet. Word was that he was a cultist. Things calmed down only because one of my coursemates called his brother, and for some reason, he was able to call him off.

    I wasn’t scared of him at the time, but thinking about it sometimes makes me wonder what I was thinking and where the surge of confidence came from.

  • Aluta And Chill: 5 Nigerian Students Reveal What They Wish They Knew Before University

    Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our new weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.


    A good experience at university and other institutions of higher learning revolves around valuable information. For many people, this process starts before they get their offer of admission. However, there’s only so much anyone can know when they are not in the school community. The moment they become a part of the community, new information often comes to light. 

    This week, I asked students at 5 different universities to talk about the most important information they wish they had about their schools or courses before they got admitted. 

    Favour, Covenant University – I wish I knew I could get in trouble even if I did nothing wrong

    I heard a lot of stories about Covenant University before I got in, and I thought I was ready for whatever the school was going to throw at me. For a moment there, I thought people were reaching when they talked about how regimented life at the school was. They treated us nicely when we first got in, but the moment we had our matriculation ceremony, a lot of things became real. 

    It was interesting to see how they made chapel services more important than classes, but I didn’t stress myself too much about that. However, it was scary to find out that I could get in trouble for doing nothing wrong. 

    During one of the chapel services, I led the praise and worship session. I was so into it that day and there was a lot of energy. After the session ended, one of the hall officers approached me and asked me to give him the name of the drug I took before the service started. I thought it was a joke at first, but it wasn’t. He whipped out an offence form and asked me to fill it. In the end, he promised that he would come back to fetch me and take me for a drug test. 

    The story travelled fast and it got to the Dean of Students. Fortunately, he didn’t think I was guilty of drug use. He looked for me and apologised about the whole situation, promising to take care of it. I guess he did because nothing happened after that.

    Anyway, it would have been great to know that getting admitted to study at this university isn’t a problem but staying till the end of the 4 or 5 years is. There were 209 students in my class when I came in. At the moment, there are only 67 students in the same class. The rest were either expelled or dropped out of school.

    I would still make the choice to come to school here, though. I believe that the advantages of studying here outweigh the disadvantages.

    Tamilore, Olusegun Agagu University of Science and Technology, —  My school community has no power, and nobody told me

    My dad sold the idea of going to university in my hometown to me and I agreed. I wrote UTME, applied to the school, and I got in. 

    That should be where this story ends, but there was a surprise waiting for me. The town of Okitipupa where the school is located has no power supply. The university runs on generators 100% of the time.

    Coming to terms with this was a big struggle. I didn’t have a generator when I was in 100 level, so I used to go to a hotel close to where I lived to charge my devices.  The worst thing that came with this power situation was the heat. There were lots of uncomfortable nights that could have been mitigated if there was power. 

    In my third year, I bought a generator. I have to spend more to fund this lifestyle, but the quality of my life has been better. However, I wish someone had told me about the non-existent power situation before I got in. It wouldn’t have changed much, but it would have been good to know.

    Fisola, University of Ilorin — My life would have been easier if I knew the university wasn’t as liberal as I thought

    My first roommate in university was fun, but she always found a way to get on my last nerve. We were both Yoruba. I am not a fluent speaker. She left me out of most conversations when her friends were in the room. The way they went about it, I couldn’t fit in with them because I couldn’t speak the language as well as they did. 

    When I eventually moved out of the room and the campus to the college of health sciences, I found out something new. I realised that the thinking of some students at the university was deeply rooted in patriarchy. In my second year, I was in a group with these guys for a class project. I thought collaboration mattered here. I tried to bring everyone together to exchange ideas and find out the best way to execute the project. However, the boys in the group didn’t take kindly to this. According to them, that role wasn’t mine to take because of my gender. They were telling me to know my place and stay in it. This was a big culture shock that I didn’t sign up for. 

    I expected the university to be a place where everyone could be the best version of themselves without dealing with any form of subjugation. I got that wrong. My life would have been easier if I knew that before I got in.

    Mojolaoluwa, University of Lagos — I wish I researched my department before I accepted the admission offer 

    I applied to University of Lagos to study Medical Laboratory Science, but I didn’t get it. Instead, I got Human Kinetics and Health Education. The Health Education bit drew me in, and I thought I could do with it. 

    I could not.

    The first class I had at school was at a swimming pool. The scary part was that I had to dive into the pool. I almost drowned in a pool when I was nine years old, which made me develop a phobia for swimming. Now, I had to swim to pass a course. 

    Also, I hated all forms of sports, but the Human Kinetics part of what I’m studying requires me to participate in a lot of sports. There was an exam I practised so hard for. It was a track and field course, and I was supposed to do a triple jump and a long jump. I’d barely started running before I tripped and twisted my ankle. Also, when it was time for the Javelin throw, my stance was so bad that the javelin travelled a short distance before it fell flat. This was an exam, and if there wasn’t a theory part, I probably would have failed the exam. 

    I had no idea that this course would be very physical and I wish I had done more research. I probably would have still accepted the offer, but the reality of it wouldn’t hit heavily as it did.

    Precious,  Michael Okpara University of Agriculture —  It would have been great to know that I wasn’t coming here to solve problems 

    I wrote JAMB three times before I got admitted to study Mechanical Engineering at Michael Okpara University of Agriculture. I was disillusioned with the whole process at this point. When my provisional admission offer arrived in my mail, I had a brief moment when I thought about deleting the mail, but I got over myself, accepted the offer and went off to school. 

    I had many thoughts about how my time at the university would go, but I didn’t know I was coming here to cram scientific formulas to reproduce during exams. All my life, I thought Mechanical Engineering was about creating value and solving problems, but these didn’t happen. 

    There was this school project I had to do in my third year. I was supposed to build a machine, but I had no idea how to get it started. For starters, I couldn’t even weld anything together. Not that I didn’t want to, but there was little room for practicals. Before that time, we had a class on welding and the technician wouldn’t even let us near the tools. According to him, he wanted only people who had welding experience because he didn’t want anyone to damage the machine. Yes, this happened in a supposed place of learning. 

    I think I would have prepared myself better if I had known that I wasn’t coming here to solve any problems. And maybe I would have made different choices too.


    Are you currently studying in Nigeria or elsewhere and have a story to share about your life in school? Please take a minute to fill this form and we will reach out to you ASAP.

    Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill? Check back every Thursday at 9 AM for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.

  • 9 Things That Happen At Every University Dinner & Award Night

    1) Everyone spends a shit ton of money preparing to slay with their outfit.

    Because dinner and award nights are the MET Gala of universities, and you don’t want to caught slipping.

    2) Squads get together to decide on if to buy a table or pay solo entrance fees.

    “That table thing is cool but e expensive gan oh.”

    3) The organisers hand out ballot papers so people in the department/faculty can vote for the different award categories.

    “Victoria for qualify but she no get nyash like that.”

    4) Then the organizers meet with the nominees secretly and inform them that the award belongs to the highest bidder.

    “We know you deserve it. We just want you to use your wallet to prove to us how much you want it.”

    5) This is how people buy drinks in advance so that their tables will be full that night.

    The key is to buy plenty cheap drinks so even though your table is full, all the drinks combined would be like N4530.

    6) This is how squads link up before the dinner to take pictures on the struggle red carpet.

    “This money I spent on this outfit can’t waste.”

    7) Whenever someone wins an award:

    Say bye bye to your outfit.

    8) When the “special” artist comes out to perform:

    “Let’s just cheer so he won’t feel bad.”

    9) When the main show ends and the afterparty begins:

    “To the windows, to the walls! TILL THE SWEAT DRIPS DOWN MY BALLS!!”

    RECOMMENDED: 15 Struggles Only People Who Had An Extra Year In University Will Understand

  • 15 Struggles Only People Who Had An Extra Year In University Will Understand

    1) When you realize that you’re going to have an extra year, you will want to die.

    GOD NO!

    2) Your sorrow will intensify if the course(s) you failed are courses you have no chance of actually understanding.

    Because you know your brain.

    3) This is you watching your classmates graduate and leave you behind.

    Just smile and wave.

    4) You’ll eventually find other people who also have an extra year and you’ll be like:

    I’m not alone! GROUP HUG!!

    5) If you lived in the hostel in previous years, you will stay in town to avoid people.

    I don’t know anybody there abeg.

    6) This is you laying low anytime you go to school so you won’t have to explain to anyone why you’re still around.

    *cue Mission Impossible theme song*

    7) But every single time you step foot on campus, you will run into EVERYBODY you’ve ever known.

    HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!

    8) And every time this happens and you explain, they’ll be like, “Eeyah! Sorry! Take heart. All is not lost.”

    I just have an extra year. I didn’t lose a loved one.

    9) This is you picking easy elective courses so your GPA won’t crash.

    I must not graduate with Certificate of Attendance.

    10) This is you when your exams are coming and you still don’t know shit.

    God why??

    11) You will briefly consider paying someone to write your exams for you.

    But you remember that it’s immediate expulsion if you’re caught so you remove your mind from there.

    12) You’ll write the exam and commit everything to God.

    ABBA FATHER! DO NOT FORSAKE ME!!

    13) Then the worst part of everything will begin. Waiting for your result to come out.

    High blood pressure will almost kill you.

    14) This is you when your results come out and you pass.

    MAMA I MADE IT! IMMA GRADUATE!!!

    15) Unless your story ends differently and you fail again.

    That’s a story for another day.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • If These 8 Kinds Of Nigerian Lecturers Don’t Make Heaven, We’ll Be Angry

    Nigerian lecturers are not the most loved set of people. However, we feel that these categories of lecturers deserve that coveted heavenly ticket.

    1) Lecturers that tell us the part of the lecture notes to read.

    Not the ones that’ll give area of concentration that will end in tears.

    2) The lecturers that don’t take attendance.

    We the association of class skipping people are grateful.

    3) God specially bless those who review and upgrade results.

    “Lecturer xx says they are upgrading from 45.”

    4) The lecturers who don’t spend one minute longer than their time in class.

    Blessed are they who do not shalaye after their hour has been exhausted. For they shall inherit the kingdom of Zikoko.

    5) The lecturer that doesn’t use you to do their own project.

    I prefer not to speak.

    6) Blessings to the ones that organize revision classes close to exams.

    Those classes have been saving class stabbers since 2011.

    7) The lecturer that is generally approachable and isn’t somehow.

    Especially when they are your course adviser and you’re having difficulties with school.

    8) Special blessings to the ones that share lecture notes so you don’t have to write.

    Unlike some that treat their lecture notes like the best thing since daddy Bubu’s first campaign.

  • 19 Milestones That Turn University Roommates Into Best Friends

    If you attended university in Nigeria, chances are that you can relate to one or two things on this list.

    Let’s take a walk down memory lane:

    1) When the whole room starts sharing one bucket, one tube of toothpaste, one iron.

    2) And sharing slippers too.

    3) Then, you no longer hide your nakedness after having your bath.

    4) Sometimes, you all gather to watch a new series together. And you actually pause when one person goes to urinate.

    5) Or, you watch football together.

    6) You have cooked and eaten the blood covenant of concoction rice.

    7) Or a full pot of beans.

    8) The first fart is a bonding experience.

    9) Especially when you are all chilling in the room after stabbing a class.

    10) Nothing beats the feeling when everyone in the room fails the same course.

    11) Nursing your roommate back to good health during an illness.

    12) Then teasing them about being a big baby after they have recovered.

    13) Missing them when you go home for the holidays.

    14) Saving seat for each other in class when you eventually attend.

    15) Buying hand outs and helping them photocopy lecture notes. Then also helping them sign attendance.

    16) Whispering the answer to number 5 on a difficult test even though you “don’t usually do this.”

    17) Not being ashamed to be seen with them in public anymore – they are kind of aii.

    18) Hustling for water together. The actual ghetto.

    19) Finally, saving their number on your phone. With their name instead of roommate.

  • Quiz: We Can Guess How Many Times You Wrote JAMB?

    Entering into a Nigerian university comes with a lot of stress and top on the list is the JAMB exam.

    How many times did you write the exam before you got admission?

    Take this quiz to find out:

  • QUIZ: What Did You Graduate From University With?

    Did you graduate from university with first class honours, second class upper honours, third class honours or a pass? Wait! No need to bring out your transcript, we can’t guess it (and we are pretty confident that we’ll get it right).

    Take this quiz and see:

  • 11 Things You Will Relate To If You Hate Group Projects

    Your life as a student is an overload of assignments and projects, crippling your desire and plans to live your best life. Group assignments can be pretty chill sometimes, but at other times, the odds will be against you and you wonder if the grades are worth the trouble.

    1. When you find out that you don’t talk to anyone in your group

    What’s all this?

    2. You, when someone asks you to be the group leader

    Are you okay?

    3. You, when the appointed group leader starts collecting names and phone numbers

    Relax now, you’re not getting paid.

    4. When you see that you’ve been added to a new WhatsApp group

    Oh God!

    5. You, toying with the idea of leaving the group

    What’s the worst that could happen?

    6. When everyone in the group has something to say about how to get the work done

    Will you keep quiet?

    7. When the group leader schedules a meeting for the weekend

    Why are you so wicked?

    8. When they start talking about everyone contributing money

    This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is giphy-5-3.gif

    Just kill me

    9. When you see that other groups are more organised than yours

    How did I find myself here?

    10. When everyone suddenly takes the assignment seriously three days before the deadline

    All of you are stupid.

    11. You, when you see someone who didn’t come for any meetings during the presentation

    Who are you and why are you here?

    If you enjoyed reading this, you will like All The Ways Nigerian Students Deal With An Impromptu Test

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • If You Think Medical Students Are Arrogant, You’ll Love This One

    If you went to University in Nigeria, chances are that everyone regardless of department and course did 100level on the main campus. However, people studying “professional” courses had an extra sense of pride in them.

    Especially those courses where they left the main campus after year one. The guys that studied Medicine, Nursing, Physiotherapy, Pharmacy, Lab science, Radiography, etc.

    Here’s a list of the many atrocities they committed in their short time on the main campus.

    Always reminding everyone that they are crossing over to Medical school.

    Go to your promised land and leave us alone pls.

    Telling everyone studying other courses about how they will be richer than them.

    Odunlade Zikoko half-naked

    Haq haq.

    When you attempt to toast one of them.

    Mschew.

    Walking with only themselves all over campus.

    Don’t you want to mingle?

    Forming most busy.

    Is it not this same 100 level we are all in?

    Answering all the questions in class.

    Na wa oohhh.

    Crying if they don’t get 4.0 and above G.P at the end of the semester.

    Really? Really?

    In case you missed how University students scam their parents, you should definitely read this.

  • 10 Dirty Lies Nigerian Students Tell To Scam Their Parents

    If you went to University in Nigeria, chances are that you or someone you know inflated the cost of schooling and its requirements.

    Here are some of the most common lies Nigerian students use to collect money illegally from their parents:

    1) “We have to buy Cadaver.”

    Shout out to those medical students that did the most.

    2) “They asked us to pay school fees again.”

    Per semester criminal, well done.

    3) “We are paying diploma fees until after 300level.”

    The origin story of people who eventually became armed robbers.

    4) “The course form costs N10,000.”

    Lies. Unprovoked lies everywhere

    5) “My project supervisor says we need plenty of money for the research.”

    Iphone money complete.

    6) “Daddy, they said we should all pay N200,000 before we graduate.”

    Money for Nysc flex secured.

    7) “I need money to buy 50 textbooks this semester.”

    Educated thief.

    8) “This Field trip will cost a lot of money.”

    Haq. Haq.

    9) “Mummy, they want us to buy like 100 lab materials.”

    Pepper soup every night for the squad.

    10) “They have increased Departmental dues, Faculty dues, Seminar money.”

    Where seminar money = Enjoyment funds.

  • 5 Must-Have Food Items For University Students In Nigeria

    Leaving home for university can be fun until you get hit with the realization that you are really alone, even when you are actually never alone. Then it dawns on you that the stress of getting an education might not be worth it, particularly when you consider the adulting that it requires which includes, COOKING YOUR OWN MEAL.

    If you are the kind of person who would rather starve than go into the kitchen to cook at all–aren’t we all though? Then your lazy bones will totally relate to these food items that have been making life easy for students since, forever!

    1) Garri:

    This just had to top the list, I considered making it last but nah. Garri is bae and it goes with anything, well almost anything. You can eat it (dry), drink it, make eba with it and fry it–if you’re adventurous enough.

    2) Indomie:

    I know its proper name is noodles; the Japanese call it ramen but Nigerians just call it Indomie, for some reason every noodles is Indomie and we can’t stop calling it that. And this food item is a no brainer and a fave because it is fast to cook.

    It can be eaten raw, YASS. It can be cooked in different ways, with different condiments but if suffer head is catching you, just put it into hot water, and eat it like that when it’s cooked.

    3) Beans:

    Ha, this is the king of all. It is sweet and nutritious. It is usually cooked when there is no money because that’s the only reason someone will wait for five hours for it to get cooked o!

    If the allowee situation is really dire, consider adding a drum of water in it, it will be sure to last you a while that way. No worries of eating too much of it though, it regulates itself–or you, more like.

    4) Bread:

    This is sometimes a luxury food item in school but it remains essential. Bread combos are always nice; bread and tea, bread and akara, bread and beans, bread and butter, bread and fish, bread and groundnut, bread and water or bread and coke–some people actually pour the bread into the coke.

    Bread is really great when you are on a tight budget, it seems to rise in your stomach, keeping you sustained all day long.

    5) Rice:

    Because, who is a Nigerian without rice? White rice, fried rice, jollof rice, concoction rice, improptu rice, atagungun rice–all join to sustain your diet.

    Which of these is your favourite?

  • All The Different Types Of Roommates in A School Hostel

    When you got admission into university, you were excited about a whole new life. You were ready to revel in a new kind of freedom, away from your parents and the annoying curfews and rules they set to curtail your movements. You thought about a lot of things: what to do, when to do it, how to have the most kind of fun in your new life without anyone overshadowing your movements or moments.

    You thought about your prospective roommate(s) too, but you didn’t give them much thought. How bad could it be? Who could be as horrible as the sibling you shared your room with? If only you had known that there was horrible and there was horrible. Once the life started, you started to amass stories because of these people, these roommates and their varying behaviours:

    The Annoying Cleaner

    You always thought you were clean enough. Growing up, you always heard that cleanliness was next to Godliness. You had that shit on lock – or so you thought until you met your roommate, and started to wonder if they were overdoing it, or you were only not as clean as you thought. At first, you couldn’t care less, so you watched in amusement when they complained about a sock on the floor, or plates you hadn’t washed in days.

    Then, it got real. You started to lose your stuff. At first, you thought you were tripping and blamed it on your forgetfulness. But it was happening way too much. You couldn’t be that forgetful. You did a little digging and found out your roommate had been moving your stuff because they thought they were what? Trash!!!

    “How dare you call my #500 recharge card trash because it was on the floor? Stay in your lane, puhlease!”

    You learned your lesson, though. Anything you needed was kept out of plain sight. Life could be easier, but you had to adapt.

    The Irritating Slob

    You probably thought your “please-this-place-could-be-cleaner-roommate” was the worst kind of person you would have to deal with. Heh! It was only a matter of time before you realised how wrong you were. You changed rooms and was prepared to settle into a new life. Your new roommate wasn’t overbearing as the last one. They didn’t trouble you over the littlest things. Ha, life was getting better.

    Then you started to notice a strange pattern; how the room would not be swept for days at a time if you didn’t do it. How making the bed in the morning was not a concept your new roommate was comfortable with. How your new roommate was not a fan of washing the dishes they used until weeks or months had passed. How their shoes were strewn around in the room, and their clothes were in a heap in a corner waiting to be attended to. And the worst of all, how they were so comfortable in the mess they lived in – thriving even.

    You realised what a fast life this was, because now, you were the irritable, overbearing one who needed to take things easier.

    The Turn-up Freak

    At this point, you thought about living alone, but it wasn’t up to you. Your account balance said no, so you forged on, ready for whatever came next. Again, you thought the worst had passed.

    You met your new roommate, and they seemed okay. You even had a honeymoon phase when everything was perfect. The new roommate was outgoing but it didn’t bother you. Soon, it became your problem. They started keeping late-nights or early-mornings, disrupting whatever you thought was fun during these moments e.g sleep. They had lost their key too, so you had to be the designated, irritated, and unpaid doorkeeper. Again, you stayed because you didn’t have a choice. That too shall pass you said to yourself.

    The Roommate Without A Leash

    At this point, you had given up. You were ready to face anything. You switched roommates again, and in came the new one. You knew something was off immediately you saw them. Their “over-friendliness” signaled an ominous feeling. You would find out soon enough. It started from borrowing little things you didn’t care about like your pen or something.

    Then, your clothes, shoes, and every other thing you cared about stopped being yours. All your talk about respecting boundaries fell into the void.
    You weren’t your own person, anymore. They owned you.

    Your Twin Personality

    Now, your spirit had been broken. You were going to have another roommate. You knew what to expect now; something about them would make your life miserable. Well, if that was it, it was it. You were only a pawn in the game. Things started smoothly, but you started to count down to when things would go horribly wrong.

    Nothing happened. Not in the first week, second, or third. Nor in the first month, second, or third month. You started to let yourself believe that nothing would go wrong, and for the most part, you were right!
    It took some time, but you found a match. One experience you could reminisce about without a dry taste hanging in your throat.

  • The Hopeful Corps Member Earning ₦55k/Month

    If you’ve been reading this every Monday, you know the drill at this point. If you haven’t, now you know that Zikoko talks to anonymous people every week about their relationship with the Naira.

    Sometimes, it will be boujee, other times, it will be struggle-ish. But all the time–it’ll be revealing.

    What you should know about the guy in this story: He’s a 23-year-old Youth Corps member working at a decent place of primary assignment in Lagos.


    When was the first time you made money?

    I was in SS1, and a day student too, so I used to sell noodles. This is how it worked; boarding students were getting served horrible food, so selling a better alternative to them meant an instant hit.

    I’d wake up early – like 5am – prepare the noodles based on orders I’d received. Then take everything to school. I was fulfilling a real need, so it wasn’t hard to charge them ₦500 per plate.

    In SS2, PTDF – that Petroleum Technology Development Fund thing – they donated computers to my school, about 100 of them. Bu you know what was crazy? The school wasn’t allowing us use them, something about us not being tech-savvy or so we don’t spoil them. They literally just locked them up like they were furniture.

    So imagine that one day, we’re all just chilling in the hostel, me and my friends, and someone just said, “what if we took these parts of the computers from the lab, you know, the ones easy to replace. And then we sold them?”

    And that’s how we started, we managed to get the key from the prefect in charge of where the computers were kept, then we’d sneak in, take a couple of things, a hard drive here, a mouse there, etc. Then we’d sell them at the side of town where everyone went for the computer parts and Tokunbo phones. There were about four of us, but any time we sold anything we used to get over ₦30k, then we’d split it.

    In typical fashion, the others boys found out in the hostel, and it became an absolute mess. They were moving entire computer monitors and stuff.

    That is absolutely crazy.

    You know what was even crazier? The school had external visitors, and in typical fashion, they wanted to “show off the computers to being used to prepare for our digital future.” A madness. Then they just opened the lab, and bam, missing computers here and there.

    We never got found out.

    What would have happened if they caught you guys?

    Expulsion, most likely. There was always the fear of getting caught, but the money kinda balanced out that fear. That time, I’d just jump the school fence and go deposit it in my Kiddies Bank Account – I already had a bank account then.

    How old were you?

    16 – a proper Juvenile Delinquent.

    Anyway, it was a mostly dry patch after that. I tried out buying and selling stuff, like clothes. That’s when I realised that this version of buying and selling, where I didn’t create the product, sucked.

    I started writing, and learning graphics, and getting paid to do them, but the gigs were far too few and far in between for it to be called a real gig.

    Then my allowance from home got sparser and sparser – my folks were having money struggles – and I had to do something about it. So I had this friend who was cashing out like mad selling weed – Loud specifically.

    I invested ₦35k that should get you a quarter ounce, and you know how much I got back in 2 weeks? ₦50k – that’s a 43% return on investment. I threw more money in, and that’s how I survived my final year in school, mostly feeding off dividends.

    You were trafficking drugs?

    Basically. I mean, I dunno what the constitution says about that, but I know if you get caught, you’re going to pay.

    I wasn’t directly in contact with any clientele, because I really was just an investor, but the market was mostly working class people and anyone who could pay. Students couldn’t afford to pay ₦5k for a bag.

    When I was leaving school, I exited at ₦200k. But in total, I think I made up to half a million in like 11 months. The money never came in chunks, except for when I exited.

    Then post-school, I reconnected with a previously distant relative, who kind of stepped up, and the random cash boosts were helpful. But it wasn’t consistent, and you don’t want to depend on that kind of money.

    What was your solution?

    Finding multiple streams of income. I even tried to secure posting to some company that was willing to pay ₦80k, but it didn’t work out.

    Currently, money just comes from NYSC and my place of primary assignment. I’m trying to figure shit out while trying not to get screwed over with the law or something.

    How much do you get in a month currently?

    I get up to 55k now every month – enough for a few Uber trips, transport and food.

    What’s the most interesting NYSC season has taught you about money?

    Everybody lies about money. Parents lie about money. Friends lie about money. NYSC people lie about money – a corper told me he was getting ₦100k. It’s not impossible to earn that, but I found out that it was a lie. Like, he had no reason to lie, yet he did. Guys at work will never tell you how much they earn. Also, everyone seems to be living beyond their means.

    Looking at your skillset, how much do you feel like you should be earning right now?

    I feel like I should be earning between 100 and ₦150k. But getting good money right now, that would be about ₦3 million a year. Still, this number will not help me pay rent where I’d like to live. I won’t be able to consistently handle family emergencies when they come up, because they will come up.

    What’s your unpopular opinion about money?

    Money is amoral. I understand the importance of money – don’t get me wrong – but people try to moralise money. Like, this is how you should earn etc, and I don’t get it. As long as I’m not hurting anybody, I don’t see a problem with the method.

    It’s why I never dabbled into Internet fraud – I was surrounded by it in school – but you literally had to take money from someone who wasn’t willing to give you by manipulation. That’s fraud.

    Also, I now realise that money really is the biggest motivator. If you pay people, they just tend to act right.

    How much do you imagine you’ll be earning in like 5 years?

    I was on Complex.com the other day and they pay about $2,500 monthly to their writers. So if I’m earning that, using today’s estimates, I’ll say I’ve done pretty well with the piece-of-shit degree that means nothing to me.

    Forget the 5-year question, where do you imagine you’ll be financially in 30 years.

    30 years might be too much for me, my imagination tends to run wild. But 10 years, I feel like I would have figured out a lot of it, not all of it. Wherever I’m at, I’m just going to try to be content. Because it’s not about how much you earn, but how happy you are with it – or some shit like that.

    If you can’t think about 30 years now, then you clearly haven’t thought about a pension.

    Nope. I’ve never really seen myself as someone that would need a pension. I just feel like if in 30 years, I can’t afford the life I need, maybe I didn’t do life right.

    What’s something you really want right now but can’t afford?

    A very long list of tech that keeps getting longer. Mainly a good Mac, a Sony mirrorless camera, GoPros, etc.

    What’s the last you paid for that required serious planning?

    A website. Setting it up cost me roughly ₦50k.

    What about the most annoying miscellaneous you’ve had to pay for?

    Apple Music. Paying for music. Like, I miss 2006. You download music now and everybody thinks you’re archaic. But that’s just the way things are now.

    Do you have an emergency plan for when you fall sick and –

    – I’m fucked. That’s probably why I never fall sick. Life is very much in limbo right now. But I’m working on plans to prepare an emergency fund. Maybe in a small buying and selling-ish business.

    Do you feel like NYSC is a financial hindrance for you or…?

    Not really. I needed time off. I was burned out after University. Even if there was no NYSC, I might have had a gap year or something. I just needed a break from chasing and all of that.

    Sometimes, I wish I didn’t even get a job, but then I can’t complain. I have job experience – valuable business development experience.

    NYSC is ending in less than a year, what’s the money thing looking like?

    I’ve not even really planned everything to the letter, to be honest. But the best case scenario is that I get retained at my current place of primary assignment. That might give me up to 150k for a starting salary. Do that for a year or two, then I go back to school to get another degree.

    The goal is to attempt to grow my income enough to cater for two people at the minimum. Not because I intend to become the sole provider or anything, but as a personal target. I just want to be able to help out. I’ll consider it a successful three years if I can go to school and juggle work.

    Worst case scenario, none of this happens, and I end up looking for a job. Or find a small gig, while doing stuff I truly give a shit about on my own time.

    Despite all of this, how would you rate your happiness levels?

    I’ve never really been the happiest person. But I’m alive sha, I don’t worry a lot.

    I’m trying to enjoy the impermanence of my situation, and not think too much about it.


    Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people.

    But, if you want to get the next story before everyone else, with extra sauce and ‘deleted scenes’ hit the subscribe button. It only takes a minute.

    Also, you can find every story in this series here.

  • Every week, we ask anonymous people to give us a window into their relationship with the Naira – some will be struggle-ish, others boujee–but all the time, it’ll be revealing.

    If you’re looking for a person who’s genuinely enthusiastic about work, the subject of this Naira Life story speaks to this.

     

    This particular episode was pulled off in partnership with Fairmoney. They’re promising that you can get up to 150k in 10 minutes. Mad ting.

     

    Age: 25

    Occupation: Product Marketing

    Current Income: ₦210,000/month (net)

    Rent: Nil

     

    Tell me about the very first money you made.

    Let me think–it was at my Church’s Media Team. I was a P.A. to the Director of Productions.

    Oh no! Wait, I also made money in school–I sold Cheese Balls and biscuits.

    The first time I tracked my profit, I realised I actually made 5-7k. I went to a private University where leaving school was a problem, so I ended up having to send school workers to help me buy more goods. This was my 2nd year and I guess that counts as my true first hustle. I did this for at least 2 years.

     

    The Church money was in my 3rd year, and that was ₦30k.

    Were you getting pocket money?

    I didn’t exactly grow up in a proper mummy-daddy family. So for some reason, there wasn’t any structure around pocket money. Money just came when it came. Whenever I was broke, I just go, “can I call my aunty to tell her I’m broke again?”

    What other hustles did you have?

    Before I served, I worked at an Ad agency as a front desk officer–50k, plus tax. I remember when 40-something thousand naira entered my account, and I was like, what is this tax thing for sef?

    Omo, I was a big girl that time o. It was close to work, so I never spent money on transport. There was this guy who was toasting me, so he was always giving me free rides.

    That period was actually the first time I bought stuff online–one rubbish skirt that cost 6k.

    Then NYSC?

    I was tired of being at home in Lagos with my folks–too much control and curfews–so I was glad I got out of Lagos. My allowee was 19,800, then 10k from my Place Of Primary Assignment (PPA).

    But I had one extra hustle there: My PPA was at the Government House Church, so there was an extra gig–as a church greeter. I kid you not.

    “You’re welcome to Church!” every time the governor was arriving. Different colourful clothes and all that, every Sunday.

    Then I took another weekend gig that had very little to do with money. I always had this dream that I’d have some form of impact wherever I serve. And because I like kids too, I started teaching some children on weekends. I asked for 2k. Do you know their father still owed me? Nonsense.

     

    When did NYSC finish?

    2016. Then I started working at a small media company. I got paid 50k. Ah, my mum insulted me sha. Plus my uncle too. They didn’t understand how they’d spend almost 4 million on my education and then I’d settle for 50k for a first job.

    It wasn’t even funny at all.

    But to me ehn, it wasn’t really about money at the time, so I was willing to take it.

    I left after three months. The structure, or more accurately, the lack of it, was a problem. I did Social Media management there.

    Then I joined another media company. I was working on digital strategy and content management. This was actually where I started taking all the online courses I could find because I realised how much I liked marketing. I studied something completely different by the way.

    How much did this new company pay?

    I asked for 120k, and they basically just said: “you’ll see your salary.” That’s how my salary came and I saw 70k. Rookie mistake. 

    It was a disaster.

    Then they stopped paying consistently. Then one day, in the second half of the year, we got laid off. Bruh, I cried all the way home. I didn’t even know where to start. Keep in mind I still had responsibilities with family. So I started job hunting again.

    While I was looking for a job, someone told me about a woman who had a blog and needed someone to handle social media.

    I was like, oya let’s do this. Why I especially liked this gig was that I had enough room to grab new skills. 35k.

    I started at another media company in October. But how I ended up as an intern there despite having some decent experience is even more epic.

    When I first applied for the gig, I got an email that said stuff like, “Oh apologies, we don’t have full-time positions, because we’ve hired for these positions. But we have internship positions.”

    I was willing to take it to be honest, but my mum was like “what exactly is your problem? What internship are you doing with all your past experience again?” She wasn’t having any of it.

    But I really felt like this company was pretty much one of the biggest in the media game.

    When I resumed, there were no ‘filled out full-time positions’. In fact, no fulltime hires had been made recently. They just wanted someone who could do all the work for less money. The learnings ended up becoming valuable, but I can’t forget that. 

    I got paid 40k at first, then later 50k after 3 months.

    Crazy.

    Also, I still had the side hustle–that woman with her blog–that gave me 30k.

    My internship was supposed to last 6 months, but by the sixth month, there was no word of the way forward. So when I sent in a notice that I was going to quit, I got a “Oh you’re going to get a raise. We’re going to confirm you, full-staff.” In my head, I was like ohhhh, so you had to wait for me to try to quit first.

     

    I quit anyway.

     

    Something I told my mum before I took the job was that, when I begin to apply for other jobs, it won’t matter much that I interned. What will matter is the work I did, and bruh, did not I not do a lot of work? It stretched me intensely.

    Then I joined another company and my net was ₦210k. Even better is that it was also close to home. The thing about this new gig is that it required all my attention when I joined, so I quit my side hustle.

    What has changed about your perspective, in all this time?

    As much as I say money is not everything, it’s still a major key. Being broke makes me cranky. Even in my relationships, when I tell you I have a problem, I don’t even need to ask you to give me money. You’re just supposed to use your head.

    Okay, let’s talk about the money you currently earn.

    First of all, I budget a lot. I know where my next salary is going. 

    I tend to feel bad about it, but I spend a significant amount of my money on hair. My monthly spending tends to change a lot too. For example, my ideal savings should be 100k. But then I spend on hair, and that one just disappears. Also, makeup. Usually, each time I’m shopping for makeup, the budget is 10k, but I just bought a crazy new brand that’s more expensive–26k.

    See ehn, I’m not doing again.

    Let’s create a scenario of what an average month looks like

    looks like.

    I’m also big on kolo or piggybank–anyone you call it. I just throw change in there. I’m not a cash person, so every time I withdraw money, I make sure to keep some of it in. I have no idea how much I have in there to be honest. 

    There’s also the part where I’m obsessed with clothes.

    What’s the highest you’ve spent on clothes at once?

    I spent 50k once. It might not seem like a lot, but that’s a quarter of my salary. No shopping for another four months after that.

    How else do you manage your money?

    I sit down at home. What am I looking for about? If you want to take me out, come and carry me, please dear. Last weekend, when I wanted to go out so badly, I slept through it. When I’m craving anything that involves going out, I sleep. Sleep works like magic.

    Let’s talk about your airtime spending.

    I was in a long distance relationship with someone Abroad, we used to text and do video calls. Then I took a break. Then I started talking to someone back here. That meant that I started buying airtime to talk on the phone because the Internet can’t be trusted. I’ll buy 1k airtime, and next thing I’ll hear after talking a little is “your account balance is low.”

    Mad ting.

    One of the guys I’m currently reviewing said we need to take a break from going out. Because every time we go out, it’s like “let’s go and eat here,” “let’s go and chill there,” and then you end up spending money. One guy took me to this restaurant that’s so damn expensive. When they brought the bill like this–40k. And what did I even eat?

     

    Local relationships are expensive. You want to go to nice places but they’re all overpriced. Abroad, good pizza is cheap, but here everything is expensive. 

    Long distance relationships or just being single saves you money.

    Okay back to income: How much do you feel like you should be taking home monthly?

    Like 400k. Because my work stretches me mentally a lot. I have sleepless nights just trying to crack it. If the things I come up with to add value to the company, I should be paid. My work takes all my time. I have no work/life balance. If I spend so much time on my work, I should be paid more.

    How much do you think you should be earning in 5 years?

    I see myself being Marketing Director in a top company. Or a marketing consultant. I should be earning like 3 million a month when I think of where I’m headed and the amount of knowledge I’ll have by then. This figure is of course based on the current value of the naira. 

    What is something you want right now but can’t afford?

    A car. I need it now-now. I’m done with these Uber drivers. I’m tired–the ones that smell, the ones that talk to me one kain, the ones that annoy me.

    The car I want is 10 million, but the one I’ll manage is 2 million. Two separate things.

    When do you think you’ll retire?

    I intend to run a primary and secondary school in my 50s, when I’m done with the corporate world. But if you’re asking when I’m going to stop working, the answer is never, because I really can’t be idle.

    How much do you know about your pension?

    13k gets put in my pension account every month? To be honest I’m not sure. It’s just one of those things I do because they said we should do it. But I don’t feel strongly about it, because I feel like if I have my own money, I won’t need it. But they say things might just go wrong and then you suddenly need it.

    Last thing you bought that required serious planning?

    My phone. It cost 306k. My Airpods, on the other hand, didn’t require serious planning because I bought it once–it did require serious thinking.

    Most annoying miscellaneous.

    As much as I didn’t want to do it and didn’t budget for it, it was school fees for one of my siblings. It was some ridiculous reason that would mean he didn’t resume on time, so I paid 40k.

    Do you have any investments?

    My baby brother’s business. Investment is something you get out right? Uhm, no I don’t. Because it’s more of giving than actual investing. This is why I want to start my own. I also want to invest in someone’s business soon. Someone I know is starting a food business.

    Rate your financial happiness over 10?

    Something like a 6.5. My current income just gets me the basics, but there are so many things I need that I don’t have. Like my car, I want my car now.

    There’s still so much more I want to do, but I can’t do now. I won’t say I’m unhappy, but I need more to be able to do more things than I can do now.

    What’s something you’d have loved me to ask you but I didn’t?

    I was hoping you’d ask how much I’ve ever earned in my entire life?

    That’s interesting, tell me.

    Add all the money I’ve earned since then–the 50k gigs, side hustles, the end of year bonuses and returns on small investments here and there. I’ll put the money at maybe ₦15 million?

    What’s next?

    I’m starting a side hustle soon, it’s more about finding personal purpose than finding money. I feel the need to touch lives to directly and I want to do it with business.

    The funding for this? It will have to come from my savings.

     

    It’s time to put all that kolo money to work.

    Two things: 

    The people at Fairmoney aren’t playing around with this spray-the-cash movement. You shouldn’t be playing either. Check it out now-now. Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people. But, if you want to get the next story before everyone else (plus some stuff I might have edited out), just hit me up here. It takes only one minute.
  • Thinking you can get an A in his course when you know fully well: “A is for the gods.”

    If you never had a lecturer tell you, you couldn’t get an A in his course, you definitely needed a visa to get to your Uni.

    When a student on a 4.5 CGPA in his final year and semester, dares to dream he can finish with a first class.

    plotting
    We don’t do that in Nigerian Unis, please dear.

    Suggesting to a lecturer that has been using the same handwritten notes from 1988, to update his notes or send lectures via email.

    What exactly do you think you’re doing?

    When students try to ask for area of concentration, after the lecturer has broken the scheme into 22 topics and 250 pages of notes.

    “So I haven’t made work easy enough for you?”

    When they say a hand out they’re selling is not by force to buy, and no student actually buys it.

    “Like these students actually don’t want to graduate sha”

    If the class is too full and rowdy for his liking.

    I lost count of how many lecturers walked out of class because students were too busy being students for their liking.

    When the class isn’t as full or as rowdy as he would like.

    That’s when you’ll hear: “tear a sheet of paper, if your friends like; they shouldn’t come back to class”.

    When you dare to think it’s his class you’ll be attending with that big afro on your head.

    When you know fully well Nigerian lecturers and afros are sworn enemies.

    Attempting to ask a question while class is going on.

    How dare you ask questions, when they’re trying to teach you what they probably don’t know like that.

    Not asking questions while class is going on.

    See, with Nigerian lecturers, you can’t win.

    When girls attend classes wearing sleeveless shirts.

    “How dare you expose your moisturised elbows and shoulders in this class with no AC or fan?” What a wow.

    And let’s not forget the biggest sin for female students. When your lecturer wants you and you think you can do something about it.

    But every day for the thief, one day for the owner. If you see Richard Akindele, the OAU lecturer that tried this nonsense, help us ask him how unemployment is looking.
  • The 10 Faces of “I’m Tired Of This School”

    By the time you leave a Nigerian university, you’re probably thinking of yourself as a worn-out old person who can’t wait for a new life.

    tired campus

    That’s because, by your third or fourth year, you’re probably saying this a lot – “I’m tired of this school”.

    Becoming jaded takes time though.

    Was it not last week that you took photos at Motion Ground and printed 20 copies for posterity?

    Remember your face when you found out you’d been accepted into a university.

    excited campus

    When you saw you wouldn’t have to write JAMB for one more year and you promised God that you would change the world.

    Then you found out you had joined a glorified secondary school.

    focused campus

    But you were still full of hope. Nothing could take you down.

    But it all changed the first time your lecturer said you wouldn’t make it in life.

    Kante Middle finger

    FY bro. Can you make an electro beat on FL?

    Then ASUU collaborated with Thor to strike for the whole year

    Because the thunder that should fire them is already keeping you at home.

    When you decided you would make the best of the situation

    “If we no get joy, wetin we gain” – Victor AD, 2018.

    Then your grades started twisting and turning.

    iguodala confused

    Looking at exam results like somebody has stolen your brain. That’s the only explanation.

    The first time you got bullied.

    crying campus

    You thought this thing ended in secondary school. Now you’re asking God why this particular affliction rose a second time.

    That time you considered not going back after the holidays.

    will 2000s

    What’s the worst that could happen? Sell pink lips cream at Computer Village?

    But you certainly look forward to joining the old guard in 400 level

    It is your duty to maintain balance and order, one that is fulfilled by sharing wisdom in the form of parables like “Alligator na lizard wey go gym”.

    Then it all comes to an end – and there’ll be only one song on your lips.

    freedom campus

    Welcome to the real world, the labour market, the school of hard knocks or whatever depressing name people use to describe life after university.

    It’s true that things are hard out here but it’s down to how much effort you want to put in.

    In the immortal words of the urban philosopher, J.Cole, “choose wisely”

  • A day will come in the life of most students when they’ll go and withdraw money and the ATM will read ‘insufficient funds’. That doesn’t have to be your portion.

    First of all pack everything you can from your parents’ house whenever you go home.

    Toothpaste, toilet roll, detergent, these things are cost in the market.

    All those Uncles and Aunties that have been asking you so when will you enter school, call all of them.

    I’m in school now o come and fund my life.

    If the accomodation situation in your school is flexible don’t form ‘I like my personal space’. Better get yourself a roommate or two.

    Anything you are buying for your room will be split between two or three people instead of just you.

    Don’t finish your money eating in canteens, buy pots and a hot plate or camp gas and cook.

    Do you know how long a pot of beans can last?

    If you are in a Nigerian Federal Uni look out for your state’s annual bursary funds.

    Some states give as much as 150k, better don’t dull it.

    Sit down in your room on Friday nights, it’s not every weekend you must turn up.

    Only go where you know the food and drinks will be free, you are still a student, please.

    It’s not by force to buy every single book your lecturers say you should buy.

    Buy only the most necessary books, if you aren’t sure what to buy ask people who were in that level just before you.

    Even the necessary books you still don’t need to buy all of them. Check your school’s libraries for the books they have and just buy the one’s they don’t.

    At least if you use in the library you’ll actually read it, instead of leaving it on your table to be gathering dust.

    Do you really need to eat more than one meal a day? Especially that week before your pocket money enters your account.

    Pata pata you only need to eat two. Uni isn’t the place to be eating breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    Anywhere you see their sharing free food you better enter and collect your own.

    All those school talks and seminars where they’ll share food or small chops at the end sign up for all of them. Who are you forming for?

    If you have a very high CGPA, first of all congrats. Second all hope you’ve applied for all the scholarships you can find in this Nigeria?

    From scholarships sponsored by Shell or Chevron to the ones sponsored by Morning Fresh, apply for all of them.

    If you can manage it, start a side hustle. It could be as simple as being a social media influencer or buying sunglasses from Balogun, packaging it and reselling.

    Don’t start anything that won’t let you face your books o.

    The last one is not for you but for your parents and guardians. Please dears go to class and read your books don’t waste the school fees they are paying.

  • We Can Bet You Told These Lies In University

    If you ever get stopped from entering the kingdom of heaven we are here to tell you that the number one reason would be because of all the lies you told yourself and your parents in Uni. And if you didn’t tell yourself any of these lies, are you sure you passed through Uni?

    That you were going to graduate with a first class and make you and your parents proud.

    Even after your CGPA hit 1.5 you were still lying to yourself.

    Asked your parents for money for books or handouts that didn’t exist.

    “Daddy, they said we should buy this 5k handout if not we won’t write exam”. Sound familiar?

    That you will still be able to pass that test even if you just start reading for it the night before.

    You’ll now start trying to read for the whole course overnight. Who overnight don epp?

    Told a lecturer that your aunty, uncle, grandma or grandpa died that’s why you couldn’t do your assignment.

    Do you even have the fear of God?

    Told your parents that you are doing very well in school.

    When you knew you had three carryovers.

    That you’ll start reading for your exams before the timetable comes out.

    Two weeks after it comes out you’ll still be going up and down looking for handout to photocopy.

    That you’d revise what you had learned after every class.

    Did you even go for the classes?

    That once you enter Uni you’ll party until you drop.

    Instead, you spent all your time, eating, sleeping and lying to your lecturers about why you didn’t do your assignment.

    At the beginning of every semester you’ll tell yourself that it’s the semester you were going to work hard to get your 5.0 GP

    But you won’t go to class or do any of your assignments.

    That even though you came back from the club at 5a.m you’ll still go for that 8 a.m class.

    If you actually made it for those classes you are the real MVP.

    Lied to your parents when you failed a course that it was the whole class that failed because the lecturer is wicked.

    When you know you are the only one who carried over the course in your class.

    Told your parents that you got admission to study Medicine when it’s Microbiology they gave you.

    You’ll now start lying to yourself that you’ll get a 5.0 CGPA and change to Medicine.

    That studying in your room was better than studying in the library. That the library was distracting.

    5 minutes into your so-called studying in your room you would have slept.

    That you won’t go out on a Friday night even though all your friends are going out.

    Next thing you know it’s 3 am and you are in the middle of a club giving them shaku shaku.

    What else did you guys lie about in Uni?

  • Calling on all UNILAG Alumni and current students, I stand to be corrected but I’m pretty sure these are the top 5 places to eat in UNILAG.

    Glamos Rarebits (Shop 10)

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BMgvbVsgjqQ/?taken-by=shibicomng
    Bet you didn’t know Shop 10 is just a nickname and Glamos Rarebits is the real name of this legendary food place, From when it was known as Shop 2 in Red Bricks, to when it became known as Shop 10 behind Jaja Hostel, Glamos is most famous for one thing – it’s Jollof rice which is arguably one of the best in Lagos.

    Mavise

    For many people, Mavise was considered to be Shop 10’s number one rival. Although I personally thought Shop 10 served the best jollof rice, Mavise fans would beg to differ.

    Salado

    Like the name might connote, you already know that Salado is all about making great, fresh salads. It’s funny how people found a way to combine their salads with anything they were eating from rice to chips to even beans.

    Ewa-agoyin Palace

    Eating ewa-agoyin in any other place in UNILAG is unheard of. Ever had ewa-agoyin you don’t even want to eat your mum’s own again? That’s how good it is.  In fact, there were many a people who thought she was adding a bit of jazz to the mix.

    Iya Moria

    Iya Moria started off at Ozolua before expanding to DLI. Anyone who stayed in those areas ate her food on a daily basis.

    Olaiya

    Even though they only opened their UNILAG branch in 2015, it didn’t take too long for Olaiya to become a household name for UNILAG students. Known for their fire amala and gbegiri, there’s no way you’d pass through UNILAg without stopping for their food.

    Korede’s Spaghetti

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BS6T7YchY1q/?taken-by=koredespagetti
    Korede’s Spaghetti might be the newest kid on the block but anyone who has tried it out will agree that he deserves a place on this list.

    Did we leave your favourite place out? Do you think it deserves a place on this list? Let us know!