Every Nigerian has at least one of these kinds of Uncles in their family
1) Mr I’d get back to you
He’s the one that you ask for a favour and he always tells you he’d get back to you. The thing is, he never does. It’ll save everyone’s time and energy if he just said no.
2) The one that gives you money for “recharge card”
This is everyone’s favourite Uncle. He usually has a slight pot belly, and looks like he’s constantly enjoying life. He randomly gives you money for things like “recharge card” or to “buy lunch”. Whenever he comes around or calls you, you know your account will smile.
3) You don’t know what he does for a living
He is always wearing traditional clothes. You can never see him in jeans or a plain shirt. Either he’s wearing expensive lace, or very expensive kaftans. Nobody in the house knows what he does for a living, but he’s always taking long calls and going on business class trips. He simply describes himself as a business man. Anyways, better keep EFCC’s number on speedial. E get why.
4) The man of many families
This is the Uncle that they usually call family meetings to discuss. You can never ask him “how is your family?” because the answer will be “which one?” He probably has a child in every local government area. If he dies, you might finally have a better understanding of just how many women he had gotten pregnant or married secretly. Like how Abacha’s money pops up randomly, that’s how his children will pop up.
5) The cool Uncle
He’s probably around your age and is the last born in your family. He let’s you have fun, and gives the most relatable advice. He knows all the best places to hangout, and gets you invites to the coolest parties and concerts. He’s the reason your holidays are always so fun.
6) The one women can’t wear short clothes around
This is the Uncle that whenever he comes around, all the women in the family are struggling to cover up. He’s worse than a pervert and has probably abused a woman in the family before. However instead of actually doing anything about it, the family keeps quiet and continues to protect him.
7) Sugar daddy Uncle
He always has women calling his phone and the phrases he uses the most are “I’ll settle it”, “I’ll make a transfer”, and “How much?” Please, if he’s still looking for a sugar baby, send him our way.
8) Community drunkard
He’s the reason the drink budget in your family is very large whenever they’re having social events. He drinks so you don’t have to, and therefore is the true hero. He also always does something silly that makes for very interesting stories.
9) Perspire to aspire so you can acquire your desire
This is the Uncle that is always buying you self help books and asking for your 35 year plan. Sometimes you want to pour water on his suit so he can relax.
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