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Tv shows | Zikoko!
  • It’s the Perfect Thursday to Rewatch these 7 Classic “Super Story” Seasons

    Time flies. The 90s kids that grew up watching Wale Adenuga Production’s Super Story are now someone’s parents, married, tight in a seat with capitalism or all three. 

    Super Story was more than family drama and moral lessons; it was a cultural staple that kept Nigerian households up and glued to the TV from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. on Thursday nights. 

    Remembering this popular TV series makes nostalgia hit like a tidal wave. But thanks to YouTube, the legend of Super Story lives on, and we can still watch them again without NEPA’s interference. If you’re looking for something to binge-watch today, here’s a list of seven evergreen episodes from Super Story in no particular order.

    Oh, Father! Oh Daughter!

    In the first season of Super Story,  an unemployed Suara convinces his wife, Abike, to sleep with the wealthy businessman to secure a job Sobowale). Suara got the job abe began cheating on his wife with a happening babe who eventually shows Suara the spiciest shege of his life.

    One Bad Apple

    This one is a story of good and evil focusing on Corporal Francis, a corrupt police officer who wields his powers to terrorise the people of Gbede town. From extortion and bribery to justice alteration, no one is free from Francis and his sergeants, who have no idea that a secret police officer has been planted to rattle their criminal den.

    The series features veteran actors like Kehinde Bankole and Wale Adebayo, popularly known as Sango.

    Too Blind to See

    Too Blind to See is a fascinating tale of betrayal and revenge. A wealthy lady called Genevieve falls into the hands of gold-diggers disguised as a friend (Tina) and a lover (Francis) attracted to her billion-naira inheritance. Unyielding to caution and advice, the smitten Genevieve takes a long while to realise that her man and friend are using her. If you’re also a fan of Kelechi Udegbe, you can’t miss his performance here.

    The Grasscutter

    This story is a profound social commentary on sex-for-marks. A married university lecturer pesters his female students for sex and fails them if they refuse. But he soon runs into his waterloo after having his way with a particular student who claims that she’s been cursed and any man who sleeps with her automatically shares in it. Has he bitten more than he can chew? Will the curse be lifted? Will the shameless lecturer die and make his innocent, pregnant wife a widow? You’re in an exciting throwback treat.

    No Pain, No Gain

    A lady named Bose gets pregnant after a sexual abuse incident and is pushed to the streets by her employers. Her daughterIreti, didn’t have a smooth life either until she got married to a doctor. Ireti, too, gives birth to a daughter, Ronke, who falls in love with an unsuspecting gold-digger who’s after her family business. Zack Orji, Jide Kosoko, Rachael Oniga and Claron Chukwuma are cast members of No Pain, No Gain.

    The Secret

    This season of Super Story is a love and crime story that follows the married life of Segun and Efe. The wife, Efe, tries her hardest to make a faithful husband and better man out of her partner. Will Efe’s efforts be in vain or not? I recommend The Secret to people in relationships.

    Nnenna

    A man called Mr Wiliki kills  a young Nnenna in a hit-and-run. Little does he know the revenge from beyond is inescapable. The determined ghost of Nnenna and her troubled friend Akin roam the streets of Lagos to avenge her death. No sinner goes unpunished.

    Also, Can We Quickly Go Back to the Days When Nigerian TV Shows Slapped?

  • QUIZ: 10 Questions Only Pop Culture Lovers Will Know the Answer To

    If you’re a pop culture consumer and you’re so sure no moment in pop eluded you, come flex your knowledge.

    Take the quiz:

    Beyoncé’s latest album is spelt ___?

  • 5 Sitcom Christmas Episodes You Should Totally Re-watch

    If you’re struggling to work up some holiday cheer because the stress of adulthood has you in a chokehold and not the sexy kind, binge-watching your favourite sitcom Christmas episodes can help save you from that not-so-loving embrace. 

    So I’m here today to suggest some for you. Because all I want for Christmas is for you to catch a fucking break and relax a little. You’ve earned it.

    Friends (Season 6, Episode 10: The One With The Routine):

    In this episode, Ross and Monica get invited to a taping of Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. While there, they attempt to steal the show with a dance routine from their childhood. Joey spends the entire episode trying to get his new roommate, Janine, to suck face with him while Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler snoop around the apartment to get a peek at the gifts Monica got for them.

    Modern Family (Season 3, Episode 10: Express Christmas):

    The Pritchett clan realises that their individual family plans won’t let them spend the holidays together for the first time, so Phil suggests they try something called Express Christmas, a way for them to celebrate Christmas together before the actual day comes.

    Phil divides them into groups. Mitchell and Alex (along with Lily) are given the responsibility of finding the perfect Christmas tree, Claire and Haley are in charge of buying last-minute gifts, and Jay and Cameron are in charge of wrapping them. Meanwhile, Gloria and Luke go to find the angel ornament for the top of the tree.

    As you can guess, chaos ensues, and the entire plan fails miserably.

    How I Met Your Mother (Season 2, Episode 11: How Lily Stole Christmas):

    Lily is hard at work making the apartment into a winter wonderland. While decorating, she finds an old answering machine containing messages Ted sent to Marshall while she and Marshall were broken up. In the messages, Ted calls her a litany of hilariously ungodly insults. Lily is so furious she rips the decorations down, ignores Ted’s apology and declares Christmas cancelled. It takes Marshall’s intervention to calm her down.

    The Big Bang Theory (Season 2, Episode 11: The Bath Gift Item Hypothesis)

    Sheldon challenges himself to get Penny the perfect Christmas gift and almost has a meltdown because his big brain can’t figure out what to get. His near nervous breakdown accounts for much of the episode’s laughs, and what finally calms him down is when Penny reveals the gift she’s gotten him: a signed napkin from Star Trek legend Leonard Nimoy. Sheldon is ecstatic. He exclaims that it’s the best gift he’s ever gotten and gives Penny a hug in a rare display of emotion.

    The Office (Season 8, Episode 10: Christmas Wishes):

    Dunder Mifflin’s new leader, Andy, is eager to please his new employees and sets out to fulfil their holiday wishes. Even though a lot of the employees’ wishes are downright dangerous, Andy gives in any way because he’d rather do sketchy shit than not be liked. Among some of the insane stuff he does is buy Dwight an acre of property on the moon and give Meredith permission to drink unholy levels of alcohol, even going as far as offering himself as her designated driver. This is also the show’s first Christmas episode without Michael Scott.

    Merry Christmas and happy bingeing in advance, folks!

  • All The TV Shows You Shouldn’t Miss Right Now

    Despite the good numbers of TV shows that dropped in 2023, some of us still want more options than we have time to watch in a month. Enjoy the best TV shows out right now that you should know about.

    The Bear

    https://youtu.be/i5U-w1yL4r0

    The Bear is a drama show on Hulu where a young guy has to run a family restaurant smoothly. With the funny doses and daily gbas gbos of the workers in the kitchen, we saw them all go through the  good and bad phases together. Chef Dammy of Ekiti can learn seven or ten things from this.

    Warrior

    This show was born straight out of a story Bruce Lee himself created. If you don’t know what to expect, think of pit fights, flying kicks and karma.

    The Men’s Club

    It’s a Nigerian TV show, popularly known as TMC, peeking into the adventurous lives of bachelors living in Lagos. From showing only on YouTube to playing on Prime Amazon now, we can’t wait for newcomers to get in the club. It’s a show to binge with some hot tea in this weather.

    READ: Nollywood Next Gen: Meet the Actors Set to Take Over 2023

    Fatal Seduction

    This South Africa TV series ties dark secrets and deep romance together. Our advice? Watch with your partner or get a grip.

    Bloodhounds

    It’s a K-drama, and it explores the famous loan-shark industry in South Korea. Pretty good for boxing fans and if you love seeing bad guys have a bad day.

    King The Land

    Let’s hope after seeing the trailer, you may wait for all the episodes to drop or watch all the eight available episodes now. But it’s such a good romance show that’ll make you ask yourself, “What will I do with myself?” after watching.

    Drops of God

    Wine lovers will be happy to find this Apple+ TV series. You’ll know almost everything from pronouncing hard wine names to recognising ingredients. When you get a wine tasting next time, you’ll quickly tell which is the real cabernet sauvignon.

    Hijack

    This one will have your heart pounding from the start to the end. It’s been said that it’s inspired by true events, but it’s based on none in particular. Idris Elba’s performance begs the question; when will he be announced as the new James Bond?

    ALSO READ: 14 Classic Nigerian TV Commercials and What They Taught Us

  • 5 Times Rosette from “Young, Famous & African” Showed Us How to Shoot Our Shot

    It’s hard to watch the new season of Young, Famous & African and not get drawn into the will-they-won’t-they love triangle between Andile, his on-again-off-again boo, Sebabatso, and his baby mama/BFF, Rosette. 

    Rosette, Andile and Sebabatso

    Rosette shows up in season two as this sleek, sophisticated chick who’s here to start some hot drama. While Andile can’t seem to figure out if she’s really flirting with him or joking, it’s clear that Rosette wants this man back even though he’s figuring out his relationship with Sebabatso. 

    Andile and Rosette from back in the day

    Here are all the times Rosette stylishly (and sometimes, directly) shot her shot at Andile this season. 

    The time she reminded Andile that she’s a ten

    Andile pulled up in episode six, trying to smoothen things between Rosette and Sebabatso, but our girl had other plans. 

    Ghen! Ghen!

    She started the peace talks by giggling, batting her eyelashes and flirting with Andile. Who else tells their ex, “Can you see how good my makeup is? I look hot, but you don’t want me?” It might’ve sounded like a joke, but the good sis was reminding Andile she’s not just a catch but a catch that’s also available for him to snatch. Shooting shots takes finesse, and Rosette is clearly related to Pheelz because her joke was a smooth way of laying the groundwork for her arrow of hot romance. 

    The time she told Andile she’s very very single 

    Still on a mission to turn Andile’s truce meeting into a firing squad of romantic shots, Rosette quickly said, “No” when he asked if she was dating anyone. And like the expert markswoman she is, Rosette didn’t just stop there; she told him point blank that she was trying to win him back. See, once a girl clears her roster of toasters and decides to focus on you, bro, it’s about to go down. 

    Dear Andile, clean your glasses and read the signs; Rosette wants to eat you like hot agege bread. 

    RECOMMENDED: All You Need to Know About Young, Famous & African Season 2

    The time she was shooting shots in the middle of Luis and Swanky’s drama 

    Right in the middle of the Luis, Swanky and Zari’s eggs drama, Rosette made it her mission to fire some light shots at Andile. We can’t help but stan a focused queen who can multitask — squashing beef while making moves on her ex-man. 

    After a brief meeting to intervene between Luis and Swanky, Andile kissed Rosette’s hands goodbye. Only for her to touch her lips, saying, “Let’s kiss here”. Wahala. 

    De-Nile is a river in Egypt!!

    Andile’s house must be on denial street because how isn’t he seeing what this babe is doing? 

    The time Luis called her out for being messy, but she responded with more shots 

    Andile was still unsure whether or not Rosette was serious when Luis called her out that he knew what she was doing.

    Pew! Pew! Pew!

    To shoot effective shots, you need to be shameless, and our queen owns everything with her chest, telling everyone at the table she’s just trying to get back into Andile’s heart. Closed mouths don’t get fed, so if there’s one thing Rosette will do, it’s open her mouth and say what she wants with her full chest. 

    The time she asked him to get back together and forget everyone else

    We’ve saved the best for last. 

    Bombastic side eye! Criminal-offensive side eye!

    At the end of the drama-filled season, Andile visited Rosette in episode eight to ask how she’d feel if he got back together with Sebabatso. Just when it seemed like all hope was lost for our girl and she’d accepted defeat, she struck with another shot, asking Andile to get back with her to end all the drama between her and Sebabatso. Sis, how will getting back with you end the drama? 

    WAHALA

    We have to give it to Rosette for being resilient and trying her luck even in the face of defeat. 

    While we wait for Netflix to confirm if we’re getting a new season of Young, Famous & African, we’ll be following all the hot drama on Andile, Rosette and Sebabatso’s social media pages. We’re always here for hot drama.

    ALSO READ: I Reviewed the Wigs in “Young, Famous & African” So You Don’t Have To

  • Netflix’s “Queen Charlotte” vs. What Happened in Real Life

    After giving us the epic line, “I burn for you”, Netflix’s Bridgerton is back with another interracial couple (Shonda Rhimes, I know what you are) for us to root for.

    Taking us back in time, Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story sheds some light on the love story between King George III and Queen Charlotte, who were side characters in the first and second seasons of Bridgerton. The show opens with a message that it’s not entirely factual, so we couldn’t help but do some digging to find out where exactly the writers added Maggi and salt. Here’s what we found out. 

    Was Queen Charlotte biracial? 

    Source: Netflix

    On the show, Charlotte’s arrival into British court is groundbreaking, bringing about the Great Experiment, which saw her mother-in-law, Princess Augusta, introduce other black people into court. While this storyline is a big slay for black people, no historical evidence supports the gist that Queen Charlotte was black or biracial. 

    That being said, art historian, Mario De Valdes y Cocom, who started studying portraits of the late Queen in 1967, believed she was indeed biracial and of Portuguese descent. If this is true, it means our good sis, Meghan, wasn’t the first melanated royal to step foot in Buckingham Palace. 

    How did Charlotte arrive from Germany speaking English with a British accent?

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Last I checked, German was the official language in Germany, so how did a German princess show up in England spitting in Adele’s accent? The show obviously took creative liberties as the real Queen Charlotte had to learn English and the customs of her new country. 

    Why did King George marry Queen Charlotte? 

    Source: Netflix

    On the show, we hear the young Charlotte ask her brother why the King of England would want to marry an unknown princess like her.

    The truth is King George didn’t have plenty of fish in his marriage sea. The King had to marry a princess, and there were none in England then. He also had to marry a Protestant, which meant choosing from Germany or Scandinavia. The King himself is also of German descent, with his great-grandfather being German. So, sis, this man was just marrying from his village. That’s all. 

    Did the King and Queen marry immediately? 

    Source: Netflix

    Yes, King George and Queen Charlotte married just six hours after meeting for the first time on September 8, 1761. But it wasn’t because of love-at-first-sight. Their families had already signed off on the marriage ahead of their meeting. The future Queen was 17 (She should’ve been writing JAMB, to be honest), while King George was 22.

    RECOMMENDED: Ranking Nollywood Bridgerton Looks from “God, Abeg” to “I Burn For You”

    Are the Danburys real? 

    Source: Netflix

    We’ve already established that the Great Experiment was created to entertain us messy bitches who live for drama. Unfortunately for Lady Danbury stans, her story is as accurate as Father Christmas’s. However, England did have a relationship with Lady Danbury’s country, Sierra Leone, and it has to do with slavery. 

    Who really brought Pormenarians to the palace? 

    Source: Netflix

    On the show, King George kickstarted Queen Charlotte’s obsession with Pormenarians when he gifts her one — teddy bears weren’t a toasting technique back then, so people handed out animals or palaces. But in real life, the Queen pulled up from Germany with her little pets in hand. Pomeranians are actually German, from the Pomerania region in north-west Poland and north-east Germany.

    Cute story, though. 

    Did King George really have a mental illness? 

    Source: Netflix

    One of the saddest plotlines of Queen Charlotte happens to be true. Historians say King George battled with an unnamed mental illness throughout his reign, from 1788 to 1789 and again in 1801. It was so bad, he was nicknamed the Mad King. King George was eventually declared unfit to rule in 1810, allowing his eldest son, George IV, to act as Prince Regent from 1811. 

    Wait, so Queen Charlotte actually had 15 children? 

    Source: Zikoko Memes

    Queen Charlotte had not one, not two, but 15 children. She had nine sons and six daughters, but their two youngest sons died at ages one and four. Despite having all these children, the King and Queen struggled for heirs. Two of their daughters never got married, while most of their sons focused on scoring away matches, making the King and Queen’s grandchildren unfit for the throne. This changed when their son, Prince Edward, and his wife, Princess Victoria, welcomed their daughter, Alexandrina Victoria, or simply Queen Victoria

    An interesting connection between King George and Queen Charlotte and Harry and Meghan

    Source: The Times

    As shown in the series, King George III bought Buckingham House, which later became the famous Buckingham Palace, as a gift for his wife in 1762. While living in the palace, the couple commissioned the construction of Frogmore Cottage for quick summer getaways (their own private Ilashe without the ocean). Guess who rented the cottage while living in the UK? Yes, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. If you look at it, King George and Queen Charlotte were Harry and Meghan’s original landlord and landlady

    ALSO READ: TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

    Can you handle the hotness of Zikoko’s Hertitude? Click here to buy your ticket and find out. 

  • Everything To Know About the “Americanah” TV Show We Never Watched 

    2013 was famous for many things — Beyoncé dropped her self-titled album like a thief in the night, Don Jazzy and Wande Coal went through a musical divorce, and 2Baba married Annie Idibia — but the moment that stood out was the release of Chimamanda Adichie’s Americanah after a four-year drought. 

    And today, exactly ten years after Chimamanda introduced us to Ifemelu and Obinze, we’re looking at the film/TV show adaptation that didn’t happen. Who was behind it? What did Brad Pitt have to do with the whole project? And what went wrong? 

    Let’s start. 

    Lupita Nyong’o acquired rights to the book in 2014 and was supposed to play Ifemelu. 

    Source: Variety

    Anyone who’s read Americanah knows the chokehold it can have on an individual, and Lupita Nyong’o was no exception. The actress read the book when it came out in 2013 and immediately contacted Chimamanda for the rights to turn it into a movie. Not long after, 12 Years a Slave got Lupita an Oscar, and let’s just say she became Hollywood hotcake. Chimamanda gave her blessings, and Lupita set her sights on playing our beloved Ifemelu. 

    David Oyelowo as Obinze? Inject It 

    Source: Popsugar

    Before rocking the Martin Luther King moustache in Selma, British-Nigerian actor, David Oyelowo, was announced as Obinze, Ifemelu’s love interest in Americanah. Did someone say, “Dream casting”? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves because there’s more Obinze gist on the way. 

    Americanah would’ve been a Black Panther reunion 

    Source: NBC

    Remember when everyone and their grandmother started shouting, “Wakanda Forever”, after the first Black Panther dropped in 2018? With the movie becoming a huge part of the culture, it was announced that Danai Gurira, who played General Okoye, would join her Black Panther sister on Americanah. Rather than taking on an acting role, Danai was hired to adapt the book for film. Yes, she’s an award-winning writer too. Bet you didn’t know that. 

    No longer a movie, now an HBO show 

    Source: HBO 

    Right after Danai Gurira was hired to adapt Americanah, the format changed from a full-length movie to a 10-episode TV show for HBO Max. HBO previously gave us Game of Thrones, The Wire, The Sopranos, Sex and the City, Euphoria and Insecure, so we knew Americanah was about to slap harder than the small chops at a wedding reception. 

    RECOMMENDED: TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

    Brand new Obinze and a star-studded cast 

    Source: Brittle Paper

    With a new format and massive studio backing the project, Americanah went all out with the casting. David Oyelowo dropped out as Obinze due to scheduling issues and Zachary Momoh from Harriet replaced him. Rounding up the TV show’s cast were Corey Hawkins from The Walking Dead as Blaine, and Uzo Aduba from Orange is the New Black as Aunty Uju. 

    What did Brad Pitt have to do with everything? 

    Source: The Today Show 

    I know what you’re thinking, thee Brad Pitt? Like, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston’s former man who also happens to be an actor? Yep. Brad Pitt was also on the Americanah train as one of the show’s producers. Besides being an award-winning actor, Brad Pitt do usually produce movies. He worked on Moonlight, The Departed and If Beale Street Could Talk

    Lupita and Danai visited Nigeria 

    Source: Lupita’s Instagram
    Source: Brittle Paper 

    Since Americanah is a Nigerian story, with most of the scenes set in Nigeria, it made sense that both Lupita and Danai visited Lagos in 2018 to research and location-scout for the TV show. Lupita, AKA Lupinwa (her Igbo name from now on), came back to Lagos before the pandemic in 2020 and hung out with Chimamanda, Dakore Akande, Omoni Oboli, Flavour, Jola and FK, Onyeka Onwenu and Lala Akindoju. A moment in time. 

    Miss Rona, you will crummbleeee

    Source: Imgflip

    Americanah had a killer cast, a badass writer, a popular TV studio and a powerful producer behind it, but nothing could’ve prepared the project for the COVID-19 pandemic. Shooting on location in Nigeria, America and the UK were suspended indefinitely. 

    Lupita is booked and busy

    Source: Entertainment Weekly

    Yes, lockdown is over, and everyone is hugging with nary a face mask in sight. So why haven’t they come back to the Americanah project yet? Well, word on the street is Lupita is booked and very busy. The actress had to shoot Black Panther: Wakanda Forever as soon as lockdown wrapped up, and now, she’s part of the new installation of A Quiet Place. She could no longer commit to shooting, and HBO said, “No Lupita, no Americanah.” 

    HBO, haba. Sis, let’s pause and think about this. 

    There’s still hope 

    Although HBO has cancelled Americanah, it doesn’t mean we’ll never see the project as a TV show or movie. Lupita still has the rights, so when her plate is less full, she might return to it. HBO isn’t the only TV network in the world. Let’s keep our fingers crossed on one hand and hold our anointing oil on the other. 

    ALSO READ: These 7 African Books Need to Be Adapted Into Film ASAP

  • QUIZ: What Type of TV Watcher Are You?

    Are you the type that stands in front of the TV while screaming frantically? Or do you only watch shows long after everyone has slept? This quiz knows the answer.

  • Here’s All the Tea on the Women of “Real Housewives of Abuja”

    We’ve waited for some real weave-flinging drama for a while, and the gods have finally decided to bless us with Real Housewives of Abuja. The franchise showcases the lifestyles of the wealthiest housewives all over the world, but forget that. We’re here for moments like this…

    And this

    Oh, let’s not forget this too… 

    In 2022, Real Housewives of Lagos delivered peak drama week after week, setting the bar high for the women of Abuja to deliver premium content. So before we get into the show, let’s meet our Abuja housewives.

    OJ Posharella 

    If you thought Toyin Lawani, AKA Tiannah Styling, had the most unhinged fashion looks in the Real Housewives multiverse of madness, don’t hold your breath because OJ Posharella has entered the building

    Just like Tiannah, OJ (real name Ojoma Sule) runs her own company, Posharella Empire, which she describes as a “one-stop store for luxury and finesse”. OJ’s style is a cross between ZeeWorld villain and Dubai heiress. The gist is she’s single, so we don’t have to worry about her wanting to go back home to her husband every three minutes, like Laura Ikeji. 

    Samantha Homossany 

    One fashionista is not enough, so the show brought in Samantha Homossany, the creative director behind the luxury (everything is luxury in Abuja sha) women’s line, Zohi Taglit. Samantha is also the founder and director of the ASTA Foundation, which empowers vulnerable women and children. 

    Samantha is very very private (Sis, why are you on a reality show then?) and married to an Abuja-based Israeli millionaire. God, when? 

    Arafa

    Forget P-Valley; we’re going to the FCT-Valley with art enthusiast, Arafa. This mum of twins is the owner of Selara Stiletto Studio, a female-only pole and sensual dance studio in Abuja. The self-described “Jesus/party girl” is also Russian-born and half-Tanzanian (Carolyna/Caroline is shaking in her Louboutins right now). 

    RECOMMENDED: Here’s What Your Real Housewives of Lagos Fave Says About You

    Comfort Booth 

    Meet Comfort Booth, the lawyer with a mohawk, who rides a power bike. Comfort is also a travel blogger, social commentator, foodie and host on her radio talk show in Abuja. Comfort doesn’t look she dramatic, but I hope she stirs the pot and instigates drama like our good sis, Iyabo Ojo, from the Lagos branch of Real Housewives

    Tutupie 

    Another interesting housewife to look out for is chef and event curator, Tutupie. The polyglot, who speaks Hausa, Turkish and German, is also the creative director of Urban Day Party. Tutupie is single, so let’s hope we see some dramatic dates on the show, because while we support love, drama comes first. Tutupie believes people think she’s crazy, but she’s not. Well, let’s be the judge of that, sis. 

    Princess Jecoco

    It seems like every housewife in Abuja is a lawyer because Princess Jecoco is a real life princess, brand ambassador, influencer, YouTuber, and you guessed it, lawyer too. She’s the managing director of Sefcon Group of Hotels, a wife and mother of two. Princess Jecoco describes herself as the “energy goddess” and “ginger mama”. Hopefully, she brings that energy and ginger to the show because we’ll be watching out for it. 

    ALSO READ: 15 WTF Nigerian Reality TV Moments We’ll Never Forget

  • 10 Ways You Can Escape the Trenches After Watching “Far From Home”

    Get in here, guys. We’re leaving the trenches behind. 

    Everyone can’t stop talking about Inkblot Productions and Netflix’s new show, Far From Home, and we totally get it. The young-adult series created by Chinaza Onuzo follows Ishaya Bello, a poor boy from Isale Eko who’s down to do anything to japa from the trenches and become a superstar artist. 

    If just like Ishaya you’re tired of living in severe sapa, then this article is for you. Here’s a list of the easiest ways to make bastard money and escape the trenches before 2023. Take notes. 

    Don’t be born a Nigerian

    Everyone in Nigeria is in the trenches and the last time we checked, you don’t have two heads. Your problem started the day you were born Nigerian. When next you’re choosing to be born, please and please, ask the angel to redeploy you somewhere else. Don’t choose +234 for your own good. 

    Be born rich 

    If you mistakenly end up being born into a Nigerian family, the least you can do is make sure it’s a rich one. See, if your parents are poor, today is a good day to disown them and look for new ones. No hard feelings. They’ll support your decision if they truly want the best for you. 

    Enter the oil and gas business

    If Otedola can make money from oil and gas, what’s stopping you from becoming a billionaire too. All you need to do is start selling cooking gas and then small palm oil or vegetable oil on the side. See how simple it is? And to think everyone makes oil and gas sound like some exclusive big boys club. Don’t worry,  I’ve hacked it for you. 

    Please, fast and pray 

    Ishaya did everything but fast and pray. How do you want to escape the trenches when you’re not a prayer warrior? What God cannot do does not exist. 

    Try a lirru bit of kidnapping  

    Everyone knows streets aren’t safe during the ember months, so how about using that to your advantage by stepping into your kidnapping bag. With all the IJGBs everywhere, after two or three kidnapping adventures, who knows, you might be buying a house in Banana Island by January. 

    Become an artist 

    Note how I didn’t ask you to learn how to draw or paint? I said, “Become an artist” because there’s levels when it comes to this art thing — talent is one thing, while packaging is another thing. People that just draw and paint are still in the trenches like Ishaya’s father, but you see “artists”? Omo, those ones are like Essien, touring the world and cashing checks. 

    RECOMMENDED: 10 Vital Organs & Fluids You Can Sell To Escape Sapa

    Manifest Dangote’s money into your account

    Why spend all your time working for money when you can just manifest Dangote’s money into your account? This is what we mean by working smarter, not harder. Dangote has done all the work, so just go out into the rain or light candles and manifest everyday until your account balance increases. 

    Become a sugar baby 

    Falling in love is a great feeling. But you know what feels better, and could help you leave the trenches? Finding a glucose guardian that has bastard money. You might have to give some sugar here and there like Adufe on Far From Home, but at least you won’t have to choose between warming the beans from yesterday or drinking garri without milk and sugar. 

    Like Shakespeare Davido once said, “Love is sweet o, but when money enter, love is sweeter.” 

    Create your own currency 

    If CBN can use Snapchat filters to design Nigeria’s currency, who says you can’t make your own currency? All you need is ink and plenty of A4 paper. Good luck!

    Plan a dinner with Jay Z 

    Everyone on Twitter is always talking about how dinner with Jay Z is more valuable than $1m, and they’re not wrong. You don’t need money to be bastardly rich and escape the trenches; you need little nuggets of wisdom from Beyoncé’s husband. 

    ALSO READ: Seyi Vibez Misses the Trenches But Doesn’t Regret Leaving

  • 9 Times We Wanted to Fight Puleng From “Blood and Water” For Being Chaotic AF

    Is it me, or are the main characters on TV shows created to be annoying and chaotic all the time? Anyone who’s seen Blood and Water will confirm that while the lead character, Puleng Khumalo, is lovable and smart, she can be very annoying in her mission to prove her schoolmate, Fikile, is her long-lost sister. 

    In honour of the return of one of my favourite high school dramas, I’m looking at all the times I almost jumped into my TV screen just so I could drag Puleng for being messy AF. 

    The time Wade said she looked like Fikile, and she just went with it 

    Everyone knows the usual response to “You and this person look-alike” is, “I don’t see it”, but not my good sis, Puleng. In the very first episode, while gate-crashing Fikile’s birthday party, Wade (a total stranger, by the way) randomly told Puleng she looked just like the birthday girl, and boom, she decided Fikile might be her long-lost sister. 

    Was she correct to start the investigation? Yes. Was it a bit extra? Also, yes. 

    Starting this whole investigation in the first place like she’s Eniola Holmes 

    I can’t remember the last time I saw Puleng read a book, do homework or just go for a jog. From the moment the show started, Puleng put on her Eniola Holmes hat and refused to take it off. There could be an earthquake, tsunami and jailbreak happening at the same time, and we’d still find Puleng digging through Fikile’s trash for DNA samples. 

    The time she tried to steal Fikile’s tampon to get her DNA sample 

    Talking about digging through trash, can we also go back to the time Puleng tried to fap Fikile’s used tampon in season one so she could run a DNA test? I mean, smart move doing the DNA thing, but my good sis, trying to steal someone’s tampon is a bit much. Or what do you think? 

    Her love triangle with KB and Wade 

    Puleng must really think she’s Bella Swan from Twilight or something because why was she juggling two fine ass men like it’s nothing? 

    There’s KB, her boyfriend and original love interest from season one, and then there’s Wade, her sidekick who told her multiple times that he liked her. To be honest, everyone is tired of the “not noticing my best friend is in love with me” trope. Even though she ended up with Wade in season two, she still kissed KB in the last episode, turning her relationship map into an actual triangle. Good job, sis.

    The time she slapped Fikile (and her teammate) senseless 

    One thing about Puleng is she’s never going to miss an opportunity to bitch slap someone. She slapped her teammate from her old school after she made the team lose a match. Then, she decked Fikile when she found out her supposed sister was behind the leaked tape of their father’s arrest. 

    Puleng’s slaps are annoying because they land her in trouble every time. But I can’t help but mutter a little “Yasss, bitch” under my breath everytime it happens. 

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    Using KB to get an internship someone else deserved 

    This episode in season two confirmed that Puleng was actually written to be an annoying protagonist who would do anything to move the plot forward. Despite having zero interest in law, Puleng manipulated her relationship with KB to get an internship with his dad’s law firm, knowing other deserving students wanted the slot. Did she have a good reason? Yes. But it didn’t make her move any less shitty. 

    The time she tried to prove she wasn’t a drug addict by doing shady drug addict activity

    In season two, when Puleng’s parents suspect she might be using drugs and call a rehab to pick her up, this babe decided to wear a hoodie, pack a bag and steal some money from her brother’s piggy bank (not the app, an actual piggy bank), so she could run away. Like, what was she trying to prove? Because if it was that she was drug-free, then she failed woefully. 

    When she finally revealed her investigation but didn’t drag her parents’ like small gen 

    African parents blaming drugs once their kids breathe different will never be wild to me. After it’s revealed Puleng isn’t a drug addict but a sergeant with Panti police station, she misses out on a wonderful opportunity to drag her parents on behalf of the rest of us. She could’ve at least hissed or rolled her eyes because they deserved small disrespect in that scene. We were rooting for you, Puleng! 

    Going to the hood unsupervised 

    Sometimes I believe Puleng wakes up every morning thinking she’s Lara Croft or an avenger. If she has any superpower or martial arts training we don’t know of, now would be a good time to share with the class. I don’t understand why she dragged Wade to the hood on an investigative trip, but of course, it ended with them being attacked by some bouncer-looking man. Puleng, abeg now. 

    ALSO READ: “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” Is Great, But Some Things Are Off

  • How to Watch Netflix’s “From Scratch” and NOT Cry

    Everyone is talking about Netflix’s From Scratch and how it made them cry. Well, I’m here to testify that I saw it and not one teardrop left my eyeballs. 

    The show follows the ups-and-downs love story of Amy (Zoe Saldana) and Lino (Eugenio Mastrandrea) . I didn’t cry, not because I’m heartless or insensitive, I just have some tricks that helped me get through the show without crying. So if you want to watch the TV show and maintain your street cred like me, here are a couple of things you could do. 

    Don’t watch it 

    You heard a show is making everyone cry, and you thought, “Wow, let me watch it too.” Do you think you have two heads and that’s why you won’t cry? Sorry dear, just watch something like Papa Ajasco and save yourself from the emotional distress waiting for you. 

    Start from the last episode

    If you start watching the show from the last episode, you won’t understand why bad things are happening or how sad the situation is because you don’t really know the characters. You can’t pity someone when you’re only watching their ending and have no idea what the hell is going on and how they got there. 

    Read spoilers online 

    There’s a high chance you won’t cry once you know what happens on the show. Read the plot, episode by episode, on Wikipedia, and then go on Twitter to read everyone’s tweets about it. At least, this way, you know when a character dies or has cancer before you watch the TV show. 

    Cry ahead of time 

    If you cry very well before you watch the show, you’ll definitely run out of tears when the show starts tugging at your emotions. Water can’t come out from an empty well, so empty your eyeballs beforehand. 

    Think about the naira 

    Before you start crying about Amy and Lino’s drama, remember that the naira is currently fighting for its life, and you haven’t started vomiting pounds yet. The only people allowed to cry are those who earn foreign currencies. Better focus on your focus if you’re still earning in Nnamdi Azikiwe and Alvan Ikoku. 

    Watch it with your parents 

    Nigerian parents will never miss an opportunity to make fun of their children, so your parents will probably start laughing at you the moment your tears threathen to fall. This goes without saying that it depends on the parent, because if your parents are softies too, then, omo, all of you might just end up crying together. 

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    Look for something cringe and focus on that

    Am I the only weirdo who finds crying faces funny? I doubt it. The moment there’s a sad scene, I’d advise you to focus on something cringe like a weird-looking wig or how Amy (Zoe Saldana) has a funny cry face. 

    Watch a sadder TV show or film

    To avoid crying while watching From Scratch, you need to watch sadder shows to raise your sadness expectation. By the time you watch When They See Us, Three Idiots or Miracle in Cell No. 7 at least four times, your emotions will be so over the place, you won’t be able to find new tears to cry when you start From Scratch

    Don’t binge watch From Scratch

    Most people are crying because they’re watching the whole show in one sitting, so it’s easy to get really invested in the characters. If you don’t want to cry, watch one episode a month so you’ll become emotionally detached by the time all the bad things start happening. 

    Remember it’s just a TV show

    Babes, it’s just a TV show. It’s called make-believe and people are acting. If you think I’m lying, look at Zoe Saldana, the actress playing Amy. Don’t you remember her from Colombiana and Guardians of the Galaxy? Remind yourself that her character isn’t not real and squeeze your face with vim.

    Make the film cry 

    Omo, my job here is to tell you what to do. Information on how to go about itt is above my pay grade. But where there’s a will, there’s a way.

    ALSO READ: Ranked: Nobody Beats These 10 Nollywood Actresses at Crying in Movies

  • TV Shows We Watched to Impress Our Crush — 7 Nigerians Confess
    Insecure, HBO

    Have you ever watched a TV show to impress someone you like? Well, you’re not alone. These seven Nigerians can relate to your desperation to off someone’s pant with TV show references, and they spoke to me about how it all went down. 

    Bridgerton, Netflix

    Tobi, 28

    I used to make fun of people who watched Bridgerton back in 2020 because It looked boring and unnecessarily horny — why was that guy licking a spoon like a whore in those memes? But this year, I met a girl on instagram, and obsessed doesn’t even cover how much she stans the show. 

    I forced myself to watch Bridgerton because of this girl and started posting videos of me pretending to enjoy it on my Instagram story. The girl ended up sliding into my DM and doing all the toasting for me. I wouldn’t say I like the show, but we’re dating now, so don’t be shocked if you see me watching season three next year. 

    Stranger Things, Netflix 

    Cynthia, 23

    God knows I don’t like scary shit or playing with demons, but I watched Stranger Things, and it was because of a man. A guy I liked in my gym was wearing merch from the show one day, and since I’d been looking for a way to talk to him without sounding desperate, I figured this would be a subtle move. I spent a whole week bingeing all three seasons of the show, and the next time he wore the shirt, I told him, “I can’t wait to see how they bring back Hopper.” That’s how we started talking. 

    I ended up inviting him to watch the fourth season’s premiere with me; let’s say, some things went down. Shoutout to The Duffer Brothers for getting me good dick. 

    The Men’s Club, REDTv

    Jeremiah, 30

    The show might be called The Men’s Club, but I feel women watch it more than men. I got into the show because there was this girl at my office I really liked who wouldn’t stop talking about it. I knew if she found out I liked the show, we’d hit it off, and we did. We’d talk about the show throughout our lunch break, and I even pretended to ship Louis and Lola, only to find out my “office wife” was engaged to someone else.

    I get not bringing your personal life to work, but there’s no way this babe didn’t know I liked her. Anyway, I still watch the show; I just don’t trust Lagos babes anymore. 

    Anime in general 

    Ehi, 25

    I met this cute guy who was really into anime during my NYSC service year. Omo, this guy was such an anime geek; he had a demon slayer sword, as per Ikeja Samurai Jack. But, like I said, he was cute AF. We used to gist a lot, but our conversation wasn’t moving towards fornication, so I thought getting into the shows he liked would help me secure my future orgasm.

    I tried Bleach, She-Ra, Yuri on Ice, Naruto and Sailor Moon, but nothing clicked. I hate animation, and even though I wanted that knacks badly, I couldn’t move past this hatred. Maybe I should just tell him I want to chop his work. 

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    Spartacus, STARZ

    Zoe, 29

    Spartacus was a sure way for me to get steady sex back in the day. I used to live in an apartment off campus when I was in university, but I had this coursemate who lived at home with super religious parents, so he couldn’t watch shows with violence or sex in them. He used to come to my apartment to watch Spartacus after classes, and every time he was done, we’d have sex. I hated the show but knew it was a necessary evil, so I endured it. I always looked at the bigger picture. 

    RuPaul’s Drag Race, LogoTV

    Abdul, 30

    Let me start by saying I used to be one of those gays who were happy to announce that he didn’t watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. It gave me this weird feeling of superiority, like I was better than other gay men. Until I met my would-be ex, who was a big Drag Race fan. This man watched all the different shows from America to Australia. I resisted at first, but by the time he started repeatedly showing me clips and talking about it, I just had to give in. 

    I was shocked by how good Drag Race was. It’s hilarious and smart. The show also helped me build a community with other gay men who I wouldn’t have gotten to know if it hadn’t come up. I miss my ex, but I’m glad he helped me deal with my internalised homophobia and accept the beauty of drag.

    Insecure, HBO 

    Tomiwa, 35

    Insecure is my favourite show ever, and it took trying to impress my wife for me to see that. In 2016, when I was still dating her, she mentioned Insecure in passing as a show she loved. I’d never heard of it, and since it was just starting, I thought, why not? I fell hopelessly in love with the show just as I was falling in love with my wife. 

    Insecure was a massive part of our relationship. I proposed while Girl by The Internet and Kaytranada played in the background (we discovered it on the show). We both cried when the show ended last year. My next goal is to get my wife to meet Issa Rae. 

    ALSO READ: TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

  • QUIZ: Which HOTD Dragon Are You?

    This quiz knows exactly which HOTD Dragon you are. Don’t argue with us. Just take the quiz.


    The Most Annoying Characters on “House of the Dragon”, Ranked

  • 10 Struggles Background Characters in the Game of Thrones Universe Can Relate To

    Surviving life in the Game of Thrones universe without a dragon, title, exchangeable faces, connections in high places or a shitload of gold must be hard AF! One minute you’re strolling down the streets of Kings Landing eating a slice of pigeon pie, and the next thing you know, a random dragon is flying over the town, turning everyone into asun. 

    From complicated Targaryen names to church explosions, here are some of the stressful things background characters in the Game of Thrones universe can relate to: 

    Dragons stepping on you and your family members like cockroaches 

    Shoutout to Princess Rhaenys and her dragon, Meleys, for that badass moment at Aegon II’s coronation in the ninth episode of House of the Dragon. But, hold up: did anyone else see the way her dragon was trampling on everyone and flinging citizens with its tail unprovoked? 

    These people were living their best poverty-stricken lives in Flea Bottom before they were forced to watch that dramatic coronation, and now they’re dead. Westerosi life no balance at all. 

    Cum falling from the sky

    Before becoming a serial rapist and king, Aegon II, in episode six of House of the Dragon, showed us one of his hobbies — jerking off while standing on one of the windows of the Red Keep. Eww. That’s how someone will be working to earn their daily 2k, and bam, now you have Aegon II’s cum on your wig. What a life? 

    Weddings that end with murder and tears

    From Rob Stark, Talisa and their unborn child murder at the Red Wedding in Game of Thrones to Ser Leanor’s side piece at his engagement party with Princess Rhaenyra in House of the Dragon, Westerosi royal weddings never end well. Imagine going for a wedding just to end up brutally killed or traumatised over a beef that doesn’t even involve you. The people of Westeros must dread getting wedding invitations at this point. 

    Getting the suya treatment from Targaryen dragons 

    Remember when Daenerys Stormborn got on her dragon and burnt thousands of Kings Landing citizens because she was angry?

    Even though she had cause to be angry as Cersei had killed her dragon and beheaded her best friend, she could’ve quickly flown to the Red Keep and roasted Cersei instead of involving everyone else in her Iron Throne wahala. 

    Trying to remember Targaryen names

    George R.R. Martin is a brilliant writer, but why does he use the same names over and over again for his Targaryen characters? Is it Aegon or is it Aemond or Daemon? How many Aegons are there? I can’t keep up. The poor people of Westeros must’ve been going through it, trying not to mix these names up. That’s how mandem will end up beheaded because they can’t tell the difference between Princess Rhaenys and Princess Rhaenyra. 

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    Looking at ugly ass wigs 

    I’ve complained about the wigs they give the black characters on House of the Dragon. Must be tough living in a city where no one knows how to install a proper Peruvian lace frontal. 

    Dying in wildfire bomb blasts 

    I was gagged when Cersei blew up the Great Sept of Baelor in the sixth season of Game of Thrones. This woman and her Rihanna “Take a Bow” wig blew up the Westerosi Vatican like it was nothing.

    Even though I still miss my fave opportunist, Margaery Tyrell, so many random civilians were killed in that bomb blast. And all for what? Because they threw shit in her face. It’s not that deep, sis. 

    Going to war because of someone else’s beef 

    Please, why am I fighting your soldiers if I don’t have beef with you? These Game of Thrones background characters will be on their own, and the next thing, some lord will ask them to march to battle because they’re his bannermen. What type of unnecessary pressure is this? 

    Dealing with shitty leaders

    If you think Buhari, Goodluck Jonathan and Obasanjo were shitty leaders, then what would the people of Westeros say after surviving the Mad King, Joffrey and Cersei? It’s giving Abacha vibes over and over again. 

    Dying at any bloody time 

    If there’s one major takeaway from all of this, it’s that you can die at any bloody time as a civilian in Westeros, and no one will give a rat’s bumbum about it. Honestly, it sounds a lot like another country I know, but let me log off here. 

    ALSO READ: The Most Annoying Characters on “House of the Dragon”, Ranked

  • The Most Annoying Characters on “House of the Dragon”, Ranked

    If we’re keeping it one hundred, every character on House of the Dragon is annoying AF. While Game of Thrones had Daenerys Targaryen, House of the Dragon doesn’t have any character I can root for so far, and yes, Rhaenerys is annoying too. 

    These are 10 characters, including an inanimate object I can’t stand on House of the Dragon.

    10. Vhagar

    Honestly, fuck this bloody dragon. Where’s the loyalty? Laena’s grilled bones weren’t even cold at the bottom of River Niger when this dragon bent down to allow Aemond to climb her. Just small speaking in tongues and Vhagar lost guard. No shame at all. 

    9. The dreadlock wigs 

    Since no one wants to say it, let me grab the mic real quick and call out House of the Dragon for doing its black characters dirty. Look at these kids; it’s bad enough that their father married their cousin the day after their mother was buried. Do they also deserve these atrocious back-of-pot sponge wigs? It’s just wickedness at this point. 

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    8. Aegon Targaryen 

    I don’t know if it’s because he looks like the other annoying guy from Stranger Things or that he just reminds me of Joffery Lannister. Either way, I can’t stand Aegon II. His face annoys me, and even though I haven’t read the books, I know his character will be shit, so I’m hating in advance. 

    7. Viserys I Targaryen 

    If Viserys makes it to the next episode, I’ll have no choice but to rewrite this article and make him number one. Don’t get me wrong, Viserys is a stand-up guy — as long as you’re willing to forget the time he opened his wife open like a Christmas turkey, but my beef with him is his refusal to die. 

    Sir, your mates are unalive, follow their lead and let us rest. Out here looking like stockfish every week. 

    6. Lord Corlys Velaryon 

    Westerosi Idris Elba has gotten more annoying as House of the Dragon has progressed. His initial motivation in getting the throne for his wife, Princess Rhaenys felt feminist AF. But after watching him attempt to turn his daughter into a child bride, I’ve seen him in a new light and my loyalties have shifted. 

    5. Larys Strong 

    Linda Ikeji of Westeros. Gossip Girl, the first. Honestly, any man who spends his time doing amebo — even if it’s his job — will always be irritating to me. Larys Strong reminds me of two characters I didn’t like from Game of Thrones, Lord Baelish and Varys. 

    4. Daemon Targaryen 

    I love a messy bitch who lives for drama, but Daemon Targaryen’s wahala is too much. You must always find him anywhere people are fighting or losing their wives. Even God rested on the seventh day, sir. 

    3. Princess Rhaenyra 

    I love Riri Baby, but this babe has been annoying this season. Sis, everybody cheats, this is Lagos Westeros. But what happened to cheating with decorum? The fact that everyone knows the other dragon you’re riding at night is a problem. And even though sprinkles of incest are encouraged between the Targaryens, I just can’t get over her thing with Daemon. Eww. 

    Anyway sha, shout out to Rhaenyra for being an LGBTQ+ ally. Love to see it. 

    2. Ser Criston Cole 

    Ser Criston Cole deserves to be at the top of this list, but I refuse to put him at the top of anything in life. This is the type of man that’ll claim to hate his ex in public but still spend time liking their picture from 2012 on the low. Why is Rhaenyra living rent-free in your head, ser? You’re not the first to chop breakfast. Abeg, rest. 

    1. Queen Alicent 

    It’s hard to watch House of the Dragons and not hate Alicent. Okay, your friend had a hot girl summer boning her sexy bodyguard and almost — emphasis on ALMOST — climbing her equally hot uncle while you had to sleep with a white walker every night. Is that enough reason to beef her for over ten years? 

    Even though I sometimes get where she’s coming from about loyalty to the crown blah blah blah. Alicent has a serious case of bad belle, and I cannot stand for it. Weyrey dey disguise.

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  • I Recapped the First Two Episodes of “House of the Dragon” on Showmax, So You Don’t Have to

    Based on how Game of Thrones ended, I honestly went into its new prequel show, House of the Dragon, with my expectations in the poteaux-poteaux. I heard it was showing on Showmax, so I gave it a go and let’s just say these dragon people have me in a chokehold. 

    Even though I’m tempted to recap the eight seasons of Game of Thrones, I’ve chosen peace of mind today and focused on the first two episodes of the House of the Dragon

    House of the Dragon starts by reminding us this is a prequel, so we need to dead any hopes of seeing Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister or Daenerys Targaryen. There’s also a brief history lesson on how powerful the Targaryens are as the rulers of Westeros because of their big-ass dragons and perfectly laid blonde wigs. 

    The opening scene shows that Westeros is not that different from the real world when the Lords decide they’d rather choke than allow a woman rule them. Even though Princess Rhaenys Velaryon has a more valid claim to the throne (and a hot husband), they vote for Viserys I Targaryen to take over. 

    Feminism in the mud for real

    Years later, we meet discount Daenerys, aka Rhaenyra.

    Seeing her ride a dragon is giving me PTSD from the time Dany turned half of Kings Landing into suya in season eight of Game of Thrones. Anyway, Rhaenyra, who I’ll refer to as Riri Baby from now on, is King Viserys I’s only child. And while her pregnant mother reminds her she was born to pop out babies, Riri Baby is on her Arya Stark P and would rather do “manly” activities like go to war and decapitate men. 

    YASS QUEEN!

    Meanwhile, in the king’s August meeting chambers, we hear him talk about how confident he is that his next child will be a boy and the heir to his throne. 

    The universe: 

    MEANWHILE

    As the council makes plans for fun festivities, Lord Corlys, aka Westerosi Idris Elba, reminds them that the city’s ships are being captured by someone known as the Crab Feeder.

    But the council is like: 

    We later meet the king’s younger brother, Daemon Targaryen, who looks like an older version of Orlando Bloom from The Lord of the Rings

    Daemon gives serious Jim Iyke bad boy vibes with a heavy dose of big dick energy. Just one look at him, and I know he’s going to cause chaos. But in the meantime, him and Riri Baby speak in tongues for a bit before he gives her an ugly necklace that means something sha. 

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    The king visits his pregnant wife, who tells him this is the last time she’s pushing out a baby from her coochie just because he’s desperate for a male heir. 

    On the day the queen goes into labour, a violent tournament is held to celebrate the baby’s birth. People stab each other up and down, and the audience keeps cheering like it’s the UEFA Champions League.

    Random man in pain: 

    Audience: 

    The king is summoned to the labour room and asked to choose between his wife and son. In a move that reminds us never to trust men, he picks the son he doesn’t even know and the midwives cut open his wife like a Christmas chicken. The queen dies, and because karma’s a bad bitch, the baby coughs once and signs out too. 

    Disclaimer: Alcohol was needed to digest this scene because WTF??

    So much for having a new heir. 

    With the baby gone, Daemon decides to do a little dorime in honour of the fact that he’s back to being the sole heir to the throne because no one would give it to Riri Baby, a girl. 

    Daemon: 

    The king hears of Daemon’s party and is visibly pissed by the dead baby slander. 

    The first episode ends with the king making Riri Baby the heir to his throne just to spite him. 

    EPISODE 2

    Episode two kicks off with Daemon holding one of the castles hostage, and Riri Baby back to doing bartender work despite being named the heir to the throne. 

    Westerosi Idris Elba is still on the council’s neck to go after the Crab Feeder. 

    But the council refuses to be bothered or stressed.

    When Riri Baby suggests that the king sends her and a couple of dragons to flex on the enemy, the Hand of the King, Lord Otto Hightower, is like: 

    Lord Hightower has plans of his own, by the way. This man has been sending his teenage daughter, Riri’s BFF, to the king’s chamber to seduce him. Ewwwwww. But we’ll come back to that. 

    Westerosi Idris Elba is also married to Princess Rhaenys, the king’s cousin who would’ve been on the throne if not for small sexism. They try to convince the king to marry their daughter, his second cousin. Once again, eww. 

    Nothing prepared me for the daughter in question. 

    Child marriage apart, I’m really stressed by this sponge on her head.

    Meanwhile, Lord Hightower goes to see Daemon with an army to retrieve the dragon egg he stole. 

    But before Daemon can turn Hightower and his men into asun, Riri Baby steps in, speaks some weird ass language with him again, and he walks away, giving her the egg. 

    Over at Kings Landing, the king finally announces who he wants to marry and shocks everyone by picking Lord Hightower’s daughter, Alicent, who’s literally his teenage daughter’s age and bestie. Ewwwww overload. 

    Westerosi Idris Elba is pissed his infant daughter didn’t become a child bride, and Riri Baby is pissed her BFF is about to become her stepmother. 

    I would’ve yelled, “Worldstar!” if I was there.

    Looking for revenge, Westerosi Idris Elba decides to join forces with Daemon, to defeat the Crab Feeder and take the throne. 

    This episode ends with a glimpse of the Crab Feeder, and we know he’s a villain because he’s disfigured like the bad guys from Nightmare on Elm Street and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Also, he literally feeds his victims to crabs.

    The end. 

    House of the Dragon is streaming on Showmax with new episodes every Monday, same time it drops in the US

    Sign up for Showmax on www.Showmax.com to watch House of the Dragon and other HBO series. If you are an MTN subscriber, you can sign up for Showmax using your airtime by dialling *447*2*2# and following the prompts.

    QUIZ: Which Game Of Thrones Character Should You Date?

  • What If the Kids From Stranger Things Were Nigerian?

    After 84 years of waiting, Stranger Things is finally back with a new season. The show continues to traumatise Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Will, Max, and Eleven as they fight monsters from the alternate dimension known as the Upside Down. While some adults are involved, it’s mainly the children in this craziness, and this had me thinking, “How would these kids react if they were Nigerian?” But most importantly, would the show last past the first season? Let’s get into it. 

    1. All of them would’ve drank chilled Ribena and forgotten about Will.

    Let’s start from the beginning. These kids heard their friend, Will, was missing, and their first instinct was to go and investigate?  Please, it can’t be Nigerian kids. We’ve been taught to mind our business and sit in one place, so doing an investigation — in the middle of the night, to make matters worse — is not in our blood. Even if it wasn’t monsters, what if he had been kidnapped by gbomogbomo? So they can kidnap me too? Adieu, Will. You will  always be in our hearts. 

    2. Imagine seeing monsters and not telling your parents. 

    Even as an adult, if I hear or see anything weird, God knows I’m calling my parents. So tell me why these dumb kids were busy fighting monsters by themselves. Oshey, PowerPuff Girls. If they were Nigerian kids, one of them would’ve straight-up snitched after their first encounter with a Demogorgon. They would’ve just spilled that tea like they were presenting NTA nine o’clock news. I lowkey feel it would’ve been Dustin sha. Something about him screams “Amebo” to me.  

    3. Typical Nigerian parents would’ve called the kids detty liars and taken them for deliverance 

    After one kid snitches, Nigerian parents would’ve opened WhatsApp to share a BC about how children of nowadays are being possessed by demons that came out of video games. Then they would dress all the kids  in satin, hold candles and proceed to flog the demons out. By the time the kids have each drank one litre of Goya olive oil, even the Demogorgon will think twice before touching the Lord’s anointed. 

    4. Their Vecna song would’ve been Free Madness by Terry G

    Everyone is obsessed with Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill because it was Max’ Vecna song. But hear me out, isn’t Terry G’s Free Madness a much better song to play when releasing someone from a demon? The ginger from the song alone will confuse Vecna. Last last, Terry G’s hold on Nigerians > Vecna’s powers. 

    5. Common entrance or Junior WAEC would’ve kept them busy 

    It’s clear the kids on Stranger Things aren’t focused. How many times have we seen them reading or paying attention in class? Imagine having time to fight monsters when you have to write Common Entrance or Junior WAEC? Between those big ass past question textbooks, extra lessons, and all the house chores they’d still have to do, I bet Mike and the gang would be too preoccupied to be doing inspector work up and down. 

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    6. Going out at night? It has to be crack 

    Nigerian kids riding bicycles in the middle of the night? Yeah, that’s white people behaviour. Even as an adult, Nigerian parents will still drag you for coming home late, but these kids were strolling in the middle of the night like witches. It just has to be crack. It’s no wonder bad things keep happening to them. Next time, sit in your house and watch Tales by Moonlight

    7. Imagine Mike talking back at a Nigerian parent. #RIP 

    Every time Mike yelled at his mum or dad, I kept thinking, “This boy, just thank God, you’re in America.” A true Nigerian mother doesn’t have to beat you to restore your factory settings. Just one look from her and Mike will never open his mouth again. When you really think about it, Demogorgons have nothing on Nigerian parents, and kids know this. 

    8. Max would’ve unfriended all the weirdos the minute they started talking about monsters

    The fact that Max heard and saw all the bullshit these nerds were talking about and still decided to be their friend is beyond me. Girl, are you okay? A Nigerian girl would’ve unfriended and blocked them everywhere sharp sharp. Her warning would sound something like, “My mother sent me to school to read and write. Don’t bring that demon shit near me.”

    9. Nigerian kids investigating and fighting Russians? I have to laugh 

    Nigerian kids? Russians? Please, let’s be serious here. 

    10. The show would’ve ended in season one because everyone would’ve moved from that demonic village 

    The fact that it took Joyce three seasons to finally leave Hawkins is insane. She had to lose two boyfriends before she realised that the gate to the city was not made of cement. If Stranger Things was Nigerian, the kids would’ve snitched, and their parents would’ve immediately moved the family to a different city, #OperationJapa. Nigerians don’t play that type of rough play. You see a monster and still decide to stay?? Sounds like real clown shit to me. 

    ALSO READ: Historical K-dramas Are Just Nollywood Epics With Bigger Budgets; Here’s Why

  • What Would Abbott Elementary Teachers Look Like in a Nigerian School?

    Not since The Office have we seen a workplace comedy as fun as Abbott Elementary. Created by Twitter sensation, Quinta Bronson, the show introduces us to the crazy teachers in the fictional public school, Abbott Elementary. Even though the show has wrapped up for the year, we can’t seem to get these teachers out of our minds. What would it look like if we took them out of Abbott, and placed them in Nigerian schools? Let’s find out.  

    1. Janine Teagues as the I-too-know Fine Arts or Music teacher 

    Janine is that teacher you try so hard to avoid, but you just can’t seem to escape her. For some reason, she always has a bubbly personality as if she’s not suffering in Nigeria like the rest of us. Always in charge of extra-curricular activities, she’s probably the teacher leading the debate club, the boring mid-term excursion or the end-of-year party’s choreography. Sis, rest abeg. She truly enjoys teaching, and if you let her, she’ll introduce herself to your family and become your lesson teacher.

    2. Gregory Eddie as the strict Mathematics or Intro-Tech teacher

    Teachers like Greg are always super annoying. Yes, we know our education is important, but, please, sir, be calming down. He’s the type of teacher to bombard you with assignments and give impromptu tests because he wants to “stimulate and ascertain the depths of one’s intellectual reserve”. The only redeeming quality about Greg is his good looks. And the annoying thing is, he probably doesn’t even know it. Shame. 

    3. Barbara Howard as the bougie French or Home Econs teacher

    She’s the religious, bougie teacher who speaks British English. She’s probably going to teach a fancy subject that doesn’t stress her too much, because all she really wants to do is drag students to her office during lunch break to talk about Jesus Christ. She’s good at her job without putting too much effort into it and will most likely get along with your parents. Fun fact: her husband drops and picks her up from school every day, and her nail colour is always red or purple. 

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    4. Ava Coleman as the short, skirt-wearing principal full of vibes and enjoyment

    If there’s one thing we know about Principal Ava is that this woman is all vibes. She’s the type of principal who’ll change her name from Ijeoma to “IJ Baby” on a whim. Will she run the school to the ground and be the worst principal? Yes. But you can always count on her to make every graduation ceremony and prize-giving day lit AF! She’s also the type of principal that’ll tell your parents all the rubbish you did in school, just so she can famz with them and collect gifts once in a while. She’s incompetent as hell, but her fashion game will always be on point and hair will always be laid to slay. Purr. 

    5. Jacob Hill as the “I want to be cool” NYSC teacher

    Do you remember that NYSC teacher that always acted like he knew all the happening slangs and popping songs? Yes, that’s Jacob. Teachers like this are so desperate to connect with students, that it can start to become very irritating. You’re not one of us, sir; go and play with your age mates. 

    6. Melissa Schemmenti as the easygoing Social Studies teacher 

    She has all the tea about everyone in school. If you check, you’ll also see that her classes are fun because she’s always going off-topic with crazy “back in my days” gist. Students love her because she doesn’t eat into free periods and rarely has the energy to punish anybody. The coolest teacher for real. 

    7. Mr. Johnson as the oversabi non-academic staff member

    He’s not a teacher, but he’s constantly snitching on students to the principal. No one knows his full name, so he tends to go by Baba-Something. He’s either the bus driver, security guard or school cleaner. If you check the records, he’s probably been in that school since they opened. Major ancient-of-days vibe.

    ALSO READ: What If Ozark Was a Nigerian TV Show?

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  • Nigerians Would Rather Die Than Skip the Intros of These TV Shows

    What makes a good TV show? Is it the acting? Writers who run on crack and coffee? Or the show’s official theme song? Here at Zikoko, we’d like to say: all of the above. While some shows have given us memorable characters and scenes, the shows on this list have given us all of that and some iconic intros as well. These are the shows with kick-ass intros we’re certain you can’t get enough of. 

    1. Everyday People 

    Everyday People was a staple on our TVs back in the early 2000s. And while it introduced us to a pre-disappointment Desmond Elliot, the show is also famous for a theme song reminding us that after everything is said and done, we’re all ordinary people and we don’t know which way to go—oh crap, wrong song. 

    2. Game of Thrones 

    Remember when Game of Thrones was so big nothing on TV could rival it? Everyone was talking about white walkers, dragons and incest like crazy. Even though the finale had the same flavour as cold pap, the theme song with the sick ass violins slapped from beginning to the very end.

    3. Super Story 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6csxVqR7MHI

    We miss the days when 8 p.m on Thursdays were strictly reserved for one thing and one thing only, Super Story. While Wale Adenuga may have said, “We’re nothing but pencils in the hands of the creator,” the truth is, deep down, we were pencils in his (Adenuga’s) own hands because this show’s theme song had its foot on our necks back in the day. 

    4. Friends 

    The Friends’ intro songwarned us from the start. Its opening line was literally, “So no one told you life was gonna be this way,” but instead of stopping to think and digest that line, we were busy clapping up and down. Well, life has started to jam all of us one by one. But just like the song said, when you have good friends, everything will be alright. You may be broke and stressed o, but still alright last last. 

    5. Dear Mother 

    Dear Mother was way ahead of its time. While it focused on a a single mother navigating life and career while raising three crazy kids, the real rockstar of this show is the woman behind the iconic vocals that welcomed us every time the show started. They don’t make shows or intro songs like this no more.

    RECOMMENDED: TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

    6. Passions 

    Does anyone truly understand what Passions was about? Even though the characters all lived in a fictional town called Harmony, they saw nothing but chaos. In the midst of this chaos is the mushy love song that starts the show every episode. Giving early 2000s Dido, this song would’ve been a big hit if it had dropped as a single. A forever bop. 

    7. Fuji House of Commotion 

    Fuji House of Commotion had the wildest characters and scenes — remember when they asked the third wife to use her tongue to count her teeth? Even though the show ended a while ago, we still can’t get over its hilarious intro song.  Admit it, you’re singing, “Number three is commotion…” right now.

    8. Succession 

    White people being filthy rich, messy and dramatic is probably our favourite brand of white people white-peopling. Even though the intro song is just a score with no lyrics, something about how creepy it sounds just has a way of holding your attention from start to finish. It also makes for a great ringtone. 

    ALSO READ: 10 TV Shows Anyone Above 25yrs Old Definitely Watched

  • These Chaotic Reality Shows Need to Make Their Way to Nigeria ASAP!

    I totally lost my cool when I heard the Real Housewives franchise was making its way to Nigeria with the launch of Real Housewives of Lagos. But while I’m still dying in anticipation of the chaos and drama the show will bring, my mind wandered to other shows I’d like to see adapted for a Nigerian audience. What do you think? 

    1. Keeping Up With The Otedolas


    A show about rich women being rich and living their best lives? Inject  it! Inspired by Keeping Up With The Kardashians, this show will follow our favourite Otedola babes: DJ Cuppy, Tolani and Temi as they navigate love, life and career while jetting around the world. I’d like to know what that family gets up to while feeling hopelessly poor.

    2. Drag Race: Lagos 

    You see this one, please, it needs to happen fast. Rupaul’s Drag Race on its own is chaotic AF, so I can’t help but imagine how much drama the Lagos factor would add to the show. Princess of Africow, rise, it’s your time to shine. I honestly can’t think of a better host for this show. From the shimmering satin and sequin looks to all the shade and dragging that will follow, there’s no way this show won’t have me scalped and gagged. 

    3. The Bachelor Franchise 

    A show where one man has to date multiple women at the same time over a couple of weeks and then eliminate them one by one until he ends up with his wife? Yeah, this sounds like your average Nigerian relationship. Does this show hit  too close to home? Yes. But will it give me premium drama? Also, yes. 

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    4. Master Chef Nigeria 

    The fact that no one else has thought of this is a bit concerning. Where is the Nigerian creative spirit people? This won’t be your average Masterchef TV show. The task at hand? Making restaurant-quality creamy pasta or seafood okra on a budget of ₦5,000. The more tasks you win, the bigger your budget gets for the next task. Chef Fregz, how far? 

    5. Love Dey Shine Eye 

    We all know Love is Blind can’t work in Nigeria, so I decided to try something different. Why would anyone want to date someone they can’t see? To what end? Here, we will jampack single people into one house and have them select who they want to marry on the first day. What happens when two guys want one girl? Simple, they will have a traditional wrestling fight at cockcrow the next day. Yes, it applies to women too. What’s love if it won’t be fought for? 

    6. Survivor Nigeria

    OG reality buffs know that Survivor is a goated TV show. Yes, we have Gulder Ultimate Search, but two kings can exist, right? The best part of this version is that contestants won’t even know they’re going to be on a show. We’ll just tell them there’s a beach party at Ilashe — Trust me, Lagosians will show up with life jackets from their house — pick them up in a speedboat, dump them on a remote island somewhere and just give them the peace sign. May the best man win. The drama is going to be so good!

    7. Love and Afrobeats 

    Love and Hip-Hop is responsible for half of the reaction gifs on social media and the careers of both Cardi B and Joseline “Do it like it’s your bidet” Hernandez’ careers. Think Real Housewives but with more violence — they do usually throw hands on this show like there’s no tomorrow. Who do we suggest for this? Well, how about Tonto Dikeh (she’s a singer too) and Blaqbonez for a start?  

    IF YOU LIKES THIS ALSO READ: 5 Old Nigerian Reality Competition Shows We Miss

  • QUIZ: Only OGs Have Seen 15/22 of These Nigerian Shows

    If you eat, live and breathe Nigerian shows, you should score at least 15 on this quiz.

    Pick every Nigerian show you’ve seen:

  • 10 TV Shows Anyone Above 25yrs Old Definitely Watched

    These tv shows introduced many of us above the age of 25 to the world of binging. Coming home to watch these shows, even though in hindsight, a lot of them were not for people our ages was a big part of our daily activities. If you watched any show on this list, you should either be in your matrimonial home or on your way. 

    1. I Need To Know 

    I Need To Know walked so Shuga could walk. This show was very good for HIV awareness and the show that introduced the beloved Funke Akindele to our screen. You missed on a lot of fashion and good storytelling if you didn’t watch this show. 

    2. This Life

    This show was so wild because someone really needs to explain to us why trusting your parents was advertised to us as a bad thing. This Life should never have ended sha because this life is still actively very wild, very much like the show’s ad. 

    We Ranked 8 Nigerian TV Shows From The Early 2000s | Zikoko!

    3. Binta and Friends

    I used to fantasize about being Binta or one of her friends. Binta and Friends was an afternoon after school show and as the title implied, it walked us through the life of model child Binta. 

    5 Nigerian Television Shows We Couldn't Get Enough Of As Kids | Zikoko!

    4. Super Story 

    Super story was aired every Thursday evening and the stories were so crazy, you’d never want to miss them. This show was always the gift that kept giving, especially the Toyin Tomato character and the three-part film that was released as a spinoff of the show. 

    Essence - Super Story (Theme Song) — NaijaTunez

    RELATED: 10 Of Our Favourite Indian Actors From Zee World!

    5. When You Are Mine 

    Paloma and Diego were the hottest and in love TV show couple when this show aired. You can argue that you watched this show for the plot, but the plot was actually Sergio Basanez and Silvia Navvaro’s beautiful faces.  

    When You Are Mine (TV Series 2001–2002) - IMDb

    6. Second Chance

    Second chance had the wildest storyline and was definitely not a show for kids, but did we or did we not watch it? If you didn’t watch Second Chance, you missed out a lot and you’re probably younger than 25yrs old. 

    TV Time - El cuerpo del deseo (TVShow Time)

    7. Catalina and Sebastian

    Sergio Basanez and Silvia Navvaro teamed up once again to play a love story but with a more chaotic plot this time. 

    Catalina y Sebastián (Serie de TV) (TV Series) (1999) - Filmaffinity

    8. Glee

    Adding this show because I was obsessed with it and I’ve done multiple rewatches since the show stopped airing. A lot of Glee song covers bodied the original songs and that’s how good and spectacular the show was. Big ups to Sue Sylvester, a proper villain. 

    Is 'Glee' getting a reboot? – The Oakland Post

    9. The Vampire Diaries 

    FOMO made me watch vampire diaries because I honestly can’t remember a lot about it. I’m sure there are people out there like me who also watched it because everyone around them won’t stop talking about Klaus’s voice and Elena’s foolishness. 

    The Vampire Diaries - Rotten Tomatoes

    10. The KKB Show

    If you’re above 25yrs old and you didn’t watch the KKB show, I think you should go back in time and be born again. 

    KKB Show (@theKKBShow) / Twitter

    QUIZ: Which Nigerian TV Show Universe Do You Belong In?

  • TV Shows You Shouldn’t Watch with Your Parents

    No matter how old we get, there’s no way around the weird feeling that comes with seeing a random sex scene pop up while we’re watching a TV show with our parents. It is at that exact moment we remember we haven’t checked Facebook since 2015 or that we need to check the weather in San Francisco or Germany. While we might want to bond with our parents over some of our favorite shows and characters, some shows were never meant for family bonding. To avoid awkward looks and embarrassing questions, here are the shows you can watch with everyone else, but never with your parents. 

    1. Euphoria, HBO

    This show is wild AF! Is this what Gen Zs are doing in secondary school? What happened to extra moral classes for WAEC and JAMB? What happened to education? Sometimes we forget these characters are in school because all they do is party, fornicate and do hard drugs. If you decide to watch this show with your parents, be prepared to explain to them why random penises keep popping up every five seconds. Goodluck. 

    2. The Boys, Amazon 

    Imagine if Clark Kent was a sadistic villain masquerading as a hero and Gal Gadot Wonder Woman could actually act. Well, you’d totally get what The Boys is about. The show follows a group of superheroes who pretend to do cool shit, but half the time, they’re messing up their city with the help of corrupt politicians and capitalists. The violence on this show is on another level. Before you sneeze, someone has lost their arm and head. Decapitation might be your thing, but we doubt mummy and daddy will find it normal. 

    3. Sex Education, Netflix 

    Raise your hand if your parents spoke to you about sex when you were growing up. You would think after shielding the joys and hot tears associated with fornication from us, our parents would support us watching a show like this. Let me break it to you, no matter how old you get, your parents will still think sex is bad for you. So if you’re thinking of watching this show with your family, read the title and receive small sense. 

    4. Insecure, HBO

    Yes, we know it’s funny. Yes, we know it has the best soundtrack on television. Yes, we know it’s cool to join Twitter in the arguments surrounding #TeamMolly or #TeamIssa. Finally, yes, you should watch this show alone without a parent in sight. Issa Rae’s show might be one of the funniest we’ve seen, but omo, black people who live in LA and work cool jobs do usually do the sex thing too. You might be laughing one minute and the next thing you know, two or three people are fornicating to a seductive R&B record. There’s also that song about a certain body part being broken. Brethren, don’t let your laughter end in tears. 

    5. Big Mouth, Netflix 

    Not all animated shows are for children and to your parents, you’re still a child. We can all attest to how confusing puberty was, which makes it pretty easy to connect to the kids on this show, even though they have heads as big as watermelons. While it might look like a harmless show about kids going through this weird transition to adulthood, we strongly advise that you watch this alone. Your parents might watch this and start asking questions about your experience with puberty and honey, no one wants to talk about that now. That ship has sailed. 

    6. Spartacus, STARZ

    It was inappropriate then, it is inappropriate now. A word is enough for the wise.

    7. Bridgerton, Netflix

    Thanks to this show, we will never look at a spoon the same way again. While some of us were busy celebrating the real reason for the season in December 2020, the rest of the world was hooked on this show. Think of it as a Mills & Boon novel brought to life, but with black people and Ariana Grande. If you didn’t watch it when it came out, we strongly advise that if you want to watch it now, you do it alone. The Duke might be burning for Daphne, but best believe your house will be too hot for you if your parents catch you watching this show. 

    8. Family Guy, FOX

    We’ve warned you before about animated content. These shows are not always cute and sweet, some are just downright chaotic and weird. But If you still want to venture into the evil forest of animation, who are we to stop you? Just don’t come to our office when you’re homeless. 

    9. Game of Thrones, HBO 

    Even if your parents move past the graphic nudity and violence, there’s still a high chance that they’ll hate you for making them watch the show after they see the last season. Don’t put them through that stress abeg, Nigeria has enough wahaleux on its own 

    10. P – Valley, STARZ

    Let’s start by informing you that the “P” in the title of this show does not stand for “Plantain” or “PuffPuff”. Now that we have that covered, we sincerely doubt you’d want to watch a show about strippers with your parents. Are you okay? Is it crack? If the title and the stripper on the cover with her legs wide open don’t instill the fear of God in you, then we don’t know how we can help you again. 

  • What If The Office Was a Nigerian TV Show?

    Anyone who’s ever watched The Office knows it’s one of the funniest tv shows that has ever been made. We’ve been wondering what a Nigerian version of The Office would look like and so we took some time out to create the perfect The Office (Nigeria) cast. 

    Here’s who would be on Dunder Mifflin Nigeria’s payroll

    Michael Scott – Nkem Owoh

    There’s actually no one better to play a Nigerian version of Micheal Scott than Nkem Owoh. He has the wit, the charisma to pull off the perfect Manager of a Paper company. 

    Jim – Ramsey Nouah

    If you look hard enough, you’ll see a strong resemblance between Jim and Ramsey. Ramsey already has the lover boy personality, we can’t say so much about humour, nonetheless, we know he’ll make a perfect Jim. 

    Dwight Schrute – Odunlade Adekola

    That’s no one half as chaotic as Odunlade Adekola who can properly deliver Dwight Schrute. Odunlade is sure going to deliver the role of an annoying co-worker who’s always going to annoy the hell out of Ramsey Nouah. 

    Ryan – Femi Adebayo

    Femi Adebayo is so great at playing an annoying person, we are almost tempted to believe art is imitating life (just kidding). If Femi Adebayo isn’t your first choice of Ryan, then you need to re-evaluate your taste. 

    Kelly- Ini Edo

    Ini Edo already has the beauty on lock and the attitude too. We’ve never seen Ini Edo and Femi Adebayo as love interests, but we already know it would be worth the watch. 

    Pam- Stella Damasus

    Pam is a TV sweetheart and which other Nigerian TV sweetheart would you rather play Pam if not Stella Damasus? 

    Kevin- Segun Arinze 

    Can you see Segun Arinze’s face in this picture? He hasn’t even played Kevin yet and he’s already giving Kevin energy. 

    Erin- Anee Icha

    Anee Icha has never taken on a role and not bodied it. Now, imagine Tony Umez calling Anee “dorrrlinggg” and trying to get her to date him? 

    Stanley- Amaechi Muonagor

    Another instance where the image is already embodying the energy of the character. Hey, Netflix, pick up your phone and cast Amaechi as Stanley right now. 

    Phyllis- Ngozi Ezeonu

    We don’t really know why Phyllis is still at the job even though she has a rich husband who’s more than willing to fund her lifestyle. 

    Darryl- Deyemi Okanlawon

    We know you are thinking we made this choice solely on looks and the answer is yes.

    Angela- Oge Okoye

    If you have an issue with this casting, feel free to catch us outside.

    Andy- Tony Umez

    In an office full of clowns, Andy is the office clown/loverboy. We all know there’s no better Nigerian Andy than Tony Umez.

    Charles Miner- Jim Iyke

    Of course, he’s the drop-dead gorgeous oga who is very wicked and likes firing people anyhow. 

    Jan Levinson- Omotola 

    Jan is the fine AF boss you want to sleep with. Omotola’s performance in Alter Ego already seals her as the perfect person for this role. 

    Jo Bennett- Sola Sobowale 

    Need we say more?

    Karen- Tonto Dikeh

    Is there a chance all of Tonto’s career leads up to her playing this role? Yes, there is. It’s Tonto’s niche to date the most beautiful man in the office and makes his partner’s life miserable. 

  • 6 Unmistakable  Things You Can Relate to if You Enjoy Watching Series

    Sorry, but if you don’t watch series, then maybe you need to wash your head because you are missing outttt!

    So, what’s the big deal about series anyway?

    1. The maddening suspense

    Asides the suspense from unexpected scenes, there’s also the maddening feeling of having to wait in suspense for months or even years before a new season is released.

    2. The plot twists

    Series lovers live for the numerous plot twists. Just when you think James will finally tell Janet about the crush he’s had on her since Season One, a trick will appear from nowhere and clear him off the road. What next??

    3. There’s no room for boredom

    Can boredom compete with five Seasons and thirty-two episodes of your favourite show? Didn’t think so.

    4. You have something to look forward to

    Especially after one of those long days when your tired is completely tired. There’s just something about knowing at the end of it all, you have five episodes of awesomeness waiting for you to see.

    5. There’s no pressure

    Unlike movies which are mostly viewed at a go, series provide witj the choice of going at your own pace. If you like, you can watch all the seasons over a period of one year, nobody will beat you.

    6. The dopamine thrills

    That is the height of series-stanism! There’s just so much excitement and addictive way it keeps you glued to your screen. There should probably be a shirt that says “Beware: series addict“.

    Looking for a new series to binge on?

    Showmax recently launched its first original comedy series, Ghana Jollof. The show follows the story of 2 friends, Romanus (Akah Nnah) and Jasper (Funnybone) who leave Nigeria for Ghana in search of greener pastures. They get to figure out if the grass is really green on the other side or not.

    The show has 13 episodes and you can see it exclusively on Showmax.

    Stars include: Akah Nnani, Funnybone, Buchi, Basketmouth, Mawuli Gavor, Joselyn Dumas, and more.

    A new episode drops every Friday. Tell your series buddies!

  • 6 Different Types Of Judges In A Reality Singing Show

    Reality shows are fun and entertaining; so much display of talent you can’t help but be wowed. Still, if you think only the contestants in these shows are an interesting bunch, then let us introduce you to the other central figures – judges.

    Read on.

    1. The bad belle ones

    Forget about trying to impress them. No contestant ever deserves a “YES” with their face like that of a stone.

    2. The motivating ones

    They smile, encourage you, and have a kind word even if you don’t make it to the next stage.

    3. The inscrutable ones

    You never really know if they’re pleased or displeased, especially if they have shades on. Fear them.

    4. The misleading ones

    Don’t lose your guard around these ones. They can lead you on, but still shock you with a resounding “NO” after your performance.

    5. The neutral ones

    They’re neither here nor there. Whatever their fellow judges say, they support.

    6. The oversabi ones

    Fine, their work is to judge, but there are some who-ask-you things they should not just open their mouth and say.

    If you think we’re lying, here’s how to settle the matter. Tune in to channel 2 (African magic family) on GOtv Max every Sunday, by 7 p.m. to watch Nigerian Idol. Not only will you catch all the entertaining and fun moments, you’d be able to observe which category the judges fall into.

  • 5 Nigerian Television Shows We Couldn’t Get Enough Of As Kids

    When we talk about childhood in Nigeria, you should understand that it was one of the best part of our lives. This adulthood thing is a scam. No more pocket money, no more candies and snacks, and what is worse, we miss these amazing TV shows so much.

    1. Fuji House of Commotion

    Fuji House Of Commotion Episodes We'll Never Forget | Zikoko!

    This one gave us premium drama and comedy. Watching it would definitely make you burst into loud laughter.

    2. Super Story

    super story - vibe.ng

    The soundtrack of this one is evergreen. It keeps replaying in our heads even as adults. The stories told in the series were the best too. Life lessons, laughter, tears and some goose bumps all rolled into one.

    3. Papa Ajasco

    Throwback Thursday: Papa Ajasco & Company • Connect Nigeria

    Talk about a group of mismatched people and their plenty shenanigans. From Miss Pepeye to Boy Alinco to Pa James, Mama and Papa Ajasco and Ajasco himself, this TV show gave us everything and more.

    4. Binta and Friends

    Binta was the model child every Nigerian parent wanted their children to aspire to. You see this perspire to aspire thing did not just start. Watching this TV show would make you start thinking of all the decisions you were making, even as a kid. Thank you, Binta.

    NB: This picture is not from the actual Binta and Friends. This was used as an illustration.

    5. This Life

    All the trust issues many of us have as adults probably came from watching this TV show. Life lessons after life lessons. Whew. The soundtrack is evergreen too. Sometimes, I wonder if it was this show that laid the foundation for the slang, “Inside life.” I could be wrong sha.

    MultiChoice Nigeria recently announced the launch of two new local telenovelas, Riona and Enakhe, which will be hitting the screens on September 28, 2020.


    The double bill drama will be getting one whole hour of screen time on Africa Magic Showcase and we are absolutely here for it! Tune in to DStv channel 151 at 8 PM to catch the new shows. And follow the conversation on social media using the hashtags #AMEnakhe and #AMRiona.

  • 4 Nigerian Shows On Netflix To Watch During This Lockdown

    4 Nigerian shows on Netflix

    Even though we hoped Rona V’s stop in Nigeria during her world tour would be brief, it looks like she’s gonna be here for a lot longer than we expected. This means that the lockdown we’re currently on will most likely last longer than the intended 2 weeks.

    Before you start screaming in frustration at the thought of having to spend even more time with that family member you don’t like (parent, sibling, spouse, child, etc), here are 4 Nigerian shows on Netflix you can watch to pass the time.

    • Castle & Castle
    Castle & Castle: 4 Nigerian shows on Netflix

    Castle & Castle is a procedural drama set at the fictional, successful, eponymous law firm in Lagos run by power couple, Remi and Tega Castle (played by Dakore Egbuson-Akande and Richard Mofe-Damijo respectively). Everything is going fine until Remi and Tega decide to represent different sides of the law for some reason. This causes some strain on their marriage and working relationship, leaving viewers wondering which will be the first to fall: the business or the marriage.

    2) Fifty: The Series

    Fifty: The Series: 4 Nigerian shows on Netflix

    An TV adaptation of the 2015 movie of the same name, Fifty: The Series is set in Lagos and follows the lives the lives of four women; Tola, Elizabeth, Kate, and Maria (played by Dakore Egbuson-Akande, Ireti Doyle, Keira Hewatch, and Omoni Oboli respectively); who are forced to stop and re-think the direction of their lives as ambition and betrayal threaten their relationships.

    3) Meet the Adebanjos

    Meet the Adebanjos: 4 Nigerian shows on Netflix

    Meet the Adebanjos is a British sitcom that focuses on the lives of a British-African family living in Peckham, South London. Much of the show’s humour comes from the Adebanjo patriarch, Bayo, trying to instil his old-school African values on his modern and reluctant British family. There are currently 3 seasons and 50 episodes.

    4) Sons of the Caliphate

    Sons of the Caliphate: 4 Nigerian shows on Netflix

    Sons of the Caliphate is a soap opera-style drama that chronicles the lives of three members of a royal family. Kalifah, Nuhu and Diko are all rich, entitled, passionate and ambitious young men drunk with power, engulfed by the darkness of addiction, the heat of love/desire, and the obligations that come with being royalty.

    Also, is it just me or does the title design in this poster kinda look like the one for Gulder’s Ultimate Search?

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • 5 Funny Nigerian TV Shows You Can Binge To Take Your Mind Off Coronavirus

    Brethren, because we’re currently in the age of Miss Corona, there’s news about her EVERYWHERE you turn. You’ve thought of tuning it out but won’t because you need to keep up with the recent developments. It’s exhausting. You’re exhausted. Chile, we get it. With that in mind, here are 5 funny Nigerian TV shows suggested by 5 Zikoko writers you can binge to take your mind off who’s coming to dinner (Miss Corona).

    1) Assistant Madams (suggested by Daniel)

    According to RedTV’s website, Assistant Madams chronicles the lives of three beautiful hustling ladies played by Sophie Alakija, Osas Ighodaro, and Tana Egbo-Adelana, who are hell-bent on living their best lives at any cost, one man at a time.

    As Daniel already established in his episode of Zikoko’s “Quickie“, everything about this show is bad. The writing, acting, editing, sound mixing etc. And that, ladies & gents, is why he wants you to watch it. The show manages to achieve the rare feat of being so bad, it’s good. Trust him, y’all. He’s not wrong. There are 5 episodes currently available and you can watch them all on RedTV’s YouTube channel.

    2) The Men’s Club (suggested by Boyin)

    Image result for the men's club

    The Men’s Club stars Ayoola Ayolola, Etim Effiong, Enado Odigie, and Baaj Adebule as four friends who come together in sharing their highs and lows all the while being surrounded by their women, their businesses, and the hassles of their city.

    A thing you should know is that The Men’s Club and Assistant Madams both exist in the same fictional universe. Watch this show and get your entire life. There are 2 seasons currently available to watch on RedTv’s YouTube channel.

    3) Jennifa’s Diary (Suggested by Astor)

    Jenifa’s Diary documents the life and hilarious hijinks of Jenifa (yep, the same one from the movie trilogy) after she drops out of university to become a hairdresser.

    This show began in 2015 and somehow has 18 seasons already. Don’t let this scare you, though, because pretty much every episode is thigh-slappingly hilarious. It’s comedy at its purest form and if you don’t enjoy it, chile, you need help. You can watch all the available episodes on SCENEONETV’s YouTube channel.

    4) Skinny Girl in Transit (Suggested by Toke)

    Image result for skinny girl in transit

    Skinny Girl in Transit follows that life of an overweight girl named Tiwalade and her struggles to lose weight and find a man, triggered by her mother’s incessant complaints and emotional blackmailing.

    It stars Abimbola Craig, Ngozi Nwosu, Sharon Ooja, Bisola Aiyelola, Ayoola Ayolola and a host of others. The 6th season began on the 14th of February 2020. All episodes are available on NdaniTV’s YouTube Channel.

    5) The Johnsons (Suggested by Toheeb)

    Charles Inojie directed 'The Johnsons' has become one of he most watched TV series in  2019.

    The Johnsons is a sitcom-style TV series which focuses on the eponymous family, the diverse traits of its many members, and how they cope with life in Lagos, Nigeria in relation to relatable social issues.

    It stars Charles Inojie, Chinedu Ikedieze, Ada Ameh, Seun Adebajo Osigbesan, Kunle Bamtefa, and Samuel Ajibola. It airs on Africa Magic.

    There you go. 5 funny Nigerian TV shows to get you through this difficult time. Speaking of Miss Corona, how prepared are you for her? Click here to take a quiz to found out just how prepared you are.

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

  • 4 Shows You Should Really Start Watching

    After eight death-filled seasons, the pop culture juggernaut that is Game Of Thrones has ended, leaving riots in its wake because the series finale (as we predicted) satisfied no one.

    Lee-mao.

    But I’m not here to make fun of your frustration. Game of Thrones was a really good show (once) and I know how hard it’ll be finding another show awesome enough to occupy the iron throne-shaped hole it has left in your heart. Which is why I made this list of shows you should get into now that you’re in the market for a new prestige show you can get weirdly obsessed with.

    You’re welcome.

    1. AMERICAN HORROR STORY

    AHS, as it’s fondly called by hardcore fans (i.e. ME), is a horror show that premièred in 2011. It’s an anthology series, which means that each season is presented as a self-contained mini-series with a different set of characters, settings, and, sometimes, actors. Did somebody say BINGE WATCH???

    WHY YOU SHOULD STAN:

    Because it’s a groundbreaking show that contains the best acting performances you’ve ever seen. You truly haven’t lived till you’ve seen Jessica Lange, Angela Bassett, and Kathy Bates share a scene. The settings of all the seasons currently available are as follows:

    • Season 1: A haunted Murder House.
    • Season 2: An Asylum run by a sadistic nun, a Nazi psycho doctor, and another sadistic nun who later gets possessed by a demon and rapes a priest.
    • Season 3: A Coven of badass fashionable witches.
    • Season 4: A Freak Show circus.
    • Season 5: A haunted Hotel containing the trapped souls of famous serial killers.
    • Season 6: A haunted house located on the same spot as the infamous Roanoke colony.
    • Season 7: A Cult of murderous political fanatics.
    • Season 8: A future where the Apocalypse has been triggered by the anti-christ and his cult of worshippers.

    Also, some plot elements on the show are loosely inspired by real-life events. So you get to excitedly scream “I READ ABOUT THAT GRUESOME MURDER ON WIKIPEDIA!” whenever that happens.

    2. BLACK MIRROR

    Black Mirror is a British science-fiction show that explores the unexpected consequences of technological advancements and is usually set in an alternative present or future. Think of it like The Twilight Zone but with terrifying futuristic tech thrown in. It’s also an anthology series but in this case, characters, settings, and actors change with every episode. Did somebody say BINGE –

    WHY YOU SHOULD STAN:

    Every episode messes you up and makes you want to swear off technology. Plus it’s an anthology so you can literally watch random episodes from random seasons without missing a thing. Also, they released a choose-your-own-adventure style movie named Bandersnatch that is one hell of an interactive experience.

    3. THE CHILLING ADVENTURES OF SABRINA

    Based on the Archie comics series of the same name, this show is about Sabrina Spellman, a half-witch half-human who, on her 16th birthday, must learn to reconcile her dual nature while fighting off the evil forces that threaten the safety of her family, friends, and town.

    WHY YOU SHOULD STAN:

    It has everything you could possibly want in a show about the supernatural. Powerful witches and warlocks, demons, werewolves, angels moonlighting as witch hunters, incubi, occasionally gruesome murders, orgies, and the devil himself depicted as a giant, wildly unattractive animatronic goat in a jute hoodie.

    What’s not to love?

    4. THE HANDMAID’S TALE

    Set in a dystopian future, this show depicts a world where fertility rates reduce drastically due to sexually transmitted diseases and environmental pollution. In the aftermath of a second American civil war, a totalitarian government forms and subjects all fertile women into becoming childbearing slaves named “Handmaids” for the infertile elite.

    WHY YOU SHOULD STAN:

    Because it’s what our world is slowly becoming the way things are going. In the show’s universe, it’s not just fertile women that get shat on. ALL women are treated like trash by the theonomic government and, by law, aren’t allowed to work, own property, handle money, or learn to read.

    Also, the performances are amazing. Elizabeth Moss, who plays the main character named June Osbourn/Offred, deserves every acting award under the sun.

  • QUIZ: If You Score Less Than 7/15 On This Quiz, You Need to Watch More TV

    Are you watching enough TV or you’re just a tired 40+ Nigerian? Your score on this quiz will tell us.

    Choose all that apply:

  • QUIZ: Which “Gossip Girl” Character Are You?

    Are you one of the baddies or you deserve to be stoned with a shoe?

    Let this quiz be the judge. Take it now.