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Time Travel | Zikoko!

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  • We’re All Doing These 7 Things the Moment They Invent Time Travel

    Go back and tie up Lord Lugard

    Because why will he decide to go down in history as the architect of everlasting stress? Can he see the mess he made? Does he think it’s funny?

    Or at least go back and stop Buhari

    If 1914 is too far, we should at least be able to go to 2015 and erase everyone’s memories of the name “Buhari”. Maybe the exchange rate won’t be looking like it’s ascending to heaven today.

    Buy dollars before it crashed

    We’re definitely going back in time to when $1 was ₦‎150. No complaints.

    Secure a second passport

    If those parts of history refuse to change because Nigeria’s destiny has too much strong head, we’ll go back in time and arrange japa for our parents. Let’s prevent life from leading us 1-0 by getting a second passport.

    Stop semo from being invented

    We have no choice but to find the person who first thought semo was a good idea and give them a dirty slap.

    Go back and buy bitcoin

    Some people have decided they have dream jobs. They can stay in 2023 and have all the jobs they want. As for us, we do not dream of labour. We’re going back to 2009 to buy Bitcoin for $1. WAGMI in the mighty name of God.

    Then come back to 2023 to cash it out with Bundle

    What’s the point of going back in time to buy Bitcoin for $1 if we can’t spend it? So, when we’re done, we’re taking the time machine right back to 2023 to sell it all now that it has turned into blood money.

    That’s where Bundle comes in. They have over 80 cryptocurrencies from Bitcoin and Ethereum to SHIBA. Even if a time machine never comes, you can trade these cryptocurrencies and get the bag for yourself in 2023. All you have to do is download the app and sign up to get started.

    Sheriff Alimi

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  • QUIZ: Where Will You Be in 10 Years?

    Sheriff Alimi

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  • 9 Things Every Nigerian Would Do If They Could Time Travel

    Be born somewhere else

    It’s common knowledge that if you’re born in Nigeria, life is already leading you 1 – 0. So if you somehow get to travel back in time, it’s best to just change your nationality so you don’t have to deal with all this stress to start with.

    Or japa when it was still cheap

    You always think “It can’t get worse than this”, until Nigeria shocks you. We’re sure there’s nobody who won’t take a chance to japa in 2012, right before this advanced level of pepper started.

    Dash Lord Lugard small malaria

    We’re not saying he should die o, but he should just have small malaria that’ll make him too weak to bother about forcefully amalgamating Nigeria.

    Stop Meffy from becoming CBN Governor

    We’d go back to the time he first got into the race for CBN governor and flog all the stupid policy ideas out of his head.

    Buy many bags of rice and keep

    Show us one asset that has multiplied in value more than rice has in the past few years. We’ll wait.

    Buy bitcoin in 2009

    Who needs a dinner with Jay Z when you can travel back to 2009 and buy like 2,000 bitcoins for less than $1. Then you come back to 2023 and retire to your village forever.

    Buy dollars before it crashed

    We’d be ballers by now, rolling in money that’s been rendered worthless by inflation, but ballers nonetheless.

    Not study Philosophy

    The country is already making you think about your life, so why would you play yourself by studying a course that’ll only make you think more? We’re sure the people who studied this course are going back to undo their mistake the first chance they get.

    Use their law school fees to fund their dreams

    Instead of going to law school to study to practice law in a lawless country, we’re sure some people will either eat their tuition, or use it to fund their dreams, in the hopes of becoming the next Falz.

    What do you think of our website’s new look? It’ll only take a minute to fill this form and let us know.

    Sheriff Alimi

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  • 1. Police Court, Lagos. Circa 1910.

    2. Then Alake of England, Oba Ladapo Ademola II attending the coronation of King George VI of England. London, May 1937.

    3. The day before Wole Soyinka received the Nobel Prize for Literature, with other 1986 Nobel Laureates.

    G.O.A.T

    4. Traffic on Carter Bridge, Lagos in 1963.

    5. Abubakar Rimi as Kano State Governor addressing his supporters at the Murtala Muhammed Square in Kaduna in 1981.

    6. (L to R)Tanzania, Uganda, Nigeria (Rosalind Balogun) & Ghana at 1967 Miss World Beauty Contest.

    Rosalind Balogun was Nigeria’s first Miss World contestant. Iconic!

    7. The Kano Groundnut Pyramids in 1975.

    Nigeria was the world’s largest exporter of groundnuts in the 1970s.

    8. Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe at an N.C.N.C. rally at Urualla in 1959.

    9. The then Ambassador of Nigeria to the UN, Jaja Wachukwu, sleeping at the UN council meeting of October 14th,1960.

    No be today our politicians start to dey mess up.

    10. Then US President, Carter & wife with Shagari greeting the crowd from the White House balcony in 1980.

    11. Tokunbo (Awolowo’s child) presents a bouquet of flowers to Queen Elizabeth in Ibadan 1956.

    12. Kanuri Dancers in Kanem-Bornu Empire.

    13. Fela performs at Berkeley, California, 14 Nov, 1986.

    The then Mayor of Berkeley, California named 14 Nov 1986 ‘Fela Kuti Day’.

    14. A cross-section of traders in a Kano Market in the 1960s.

    15. Pope John Paul II on his way to mass in Onitsha 1982. Cardinal Francis Arinze, then Archbishop of Onitsha, to his Left.

    16. Kano Indigo Dye Pits built in 1498.

    The dye solution was brewed for about a month and lasted for a year.

    17. The Late Lady Diana, Princess of Wales, touring Nigeria in 1990.

    18. The Ebun House (85 Odunfa St.)

    This house, owned by a Sierra Leonean immigrant, was the 1st 3-story building built in Lagos in 1913.

    19. A Constable receives a certificate of commendation from Hon. M.A Olanrewaju, the then Minister of Police Affairs.

    How hilarious would it be if present day police officers wore shorts? LOL

    20. Queen Elizabeth II rides in her Rolls-Royce in Nigeria, 1956.

    Can’t get enough of Nigerian history? Then check out this article about Nigeria’s iconic colonial buildings.

    These Colonial Buildings Will Make You Appreciate Nigerian History
    Check out all the things you stand to benefit when you move over to Etisalat’s EasyCliq 2.0. Click here or on the ‘Learn More’ button below to find out more about EasyCliq 2.0!

    Astor George

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