Do you have what it takes to be a glucose guardian? Take this quiz to find out.
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I am personally very fascinated by the sugar baby and sugar parent relationship business model. I have read and also written several stories exploring it but typically from the perspective of the sugar baby. Prompted by a conversation with Zikoko’s editor-in-chief, I decided to start reaching out to the sugar babies I knew and asked them to put me in touch with the sugar daddies they knew so I could speak to them for this article. It took a minute but I was able to talk to four of them. Here is the story.
Andrew, 39, International Businessman.
I like very pretty girls who put in the effort with their appearance, the type who spend hours at the saloon, shopping etc. I like funding that lifestyle. My wife is the same way, so are all my girlfriends. The first time I had a sugar baby was about a year into my marriage. I met her at a wedding I attended with my wife and her beauty was blinding. I immediately found a way to slip her my number. We started talking after a while then it took off from there. I have about two girlfriends at any given time. The longest I have been with someone who isn’t my wife is two years, after that, I just find something else to excite me. I can fund it because I earn a pretty amount and in pounds. There’s almost nothing they want to ask for that I can’t afford. The most I have ever spent on a woman who isn’t my wife at once is ₦3 million.
Dele, 40, Managing Director.
I like women that make my head turn. I don’t get involved with people I work with at all, I keep it professional, I also don’t get involved with anyone my wife knows or might know. Events, house parties, and stuff like that are where I meet people. Because I tend to carry women I date to events, I need them to look classy and expensive before I even meet them. The longest I have been with someone who isn’t my wife is five years. She is like my main side chick and I have toyed with the idea of marrying her. I don’t have a reason why I do it to be honest, I just do. The most I have ever spent on a woman who isn’t my wife is the most I spent to lease my main side chick’s apartment in Abuja. Something in between ₦10 million and ₦15 million.
David, 34, Producer.
I have never looked for a sugar baby, to be honest. I don’t have a type but now and then, I meet someone that I can’t just let go of. I’ve been married for three years and I have had two sugar babies. The first person was a babe that I met during a burial. She was so magnetic. I haven’t been with any of my ‘sugar babies’ for longer than six months. I get bored easily, I think that’s why I regret getting married. Anyways, the most I have spent on a sugar baby is the money I spent buying a Macbook which cost about ₦600,000.
Tobi, 42, Contractor.
My wife and I kinda lost the spark after a while. So I did the next logical thing and decided to find it outside. The thing is when you are an older man especially a wealthy one, people don’t view you as possibly wanting anything romantic. They see it as transactional. I try to forget that the reason I am even able to speak to them, the reason they are talking to me is because of the money. I have met some intelligent women through it all so there’s that. I don’t necessarily look for anything specific but I like women who wow me. The most I have ever spent on a woman is equal to ₦800,000.
- Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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Being a sugar baby — generally being a sex worker — involves a lot of stress, but for this article, we’re going to focus on one of the highlights of the trade: getting expensive gifts.
We asked six sugar babies what the most expensive gift they’ve ever received from a client is.
Ben, Gay.
So in 2019, I was seeing this man. I met him on Tinder, then I discovered he had a wife and, more importantly, had money. One day, I told him my old laptop packed up, and I was broke. It was a half-lie — I was broke, but my laptop was fine. I just thought, at most, he would give me part of the money to get a laptop. Next time we saw, he gave me a brand new Macbook Air. I screamed.
Anna, Straight.
Okay so it wasn’t one gift, but I was dating this guy when I moved to Abuja. He told me he wanted to come over, but I told him I couldn’t host people because I didn’t have furniture yet. He said that was my business and came over. The next week, oga took me to a furniture showroom and told me to pick what I wanted. That’s how I got a whole furnished apartment.
Irene, Straight.
My best gift was from this guy who was heavily into being dominated. We used to do extreme stuff all day. He’d stand while I was on my laptop and would only move when I told him to. He got me an apartment on the Island — really great and expensive space. But the absolute best gift was the camera and lenses he bought me to kickstart my photography career.
Nneka, Bisexual.
I don’t know if this counts but on my 25th birthday, in November 2019, my sugar daddy spoiled me silly. Plane tickets to Cape Verde, paid for our lodgings and, on the trip, he got me a new iPhone and took me shopping. He’s an oil and gas worker and my birthday collided with his time off. I was extremely lucky. I don’t think I have had that kind of luck since.
Boma, Straight.
I met him on Houseparty funny enough. I had a boyfriend then, but the guy and I started talking and Facetiming regularly during the early months of the pandemic. One day, he said he wanted me to be his, and I jokingly told him that he needed to make it worth my time. He asked if I had CashApp, I told him Nigeria doesn’t have that, so he used WorldRemit and sent $1000. It was almost N500,000. We haven’t met yet but once travel restrictions ease up more, I’ll be meeting him and living my best sugar baby life.
Onyinye, Straight.
Does rent count? My London rent and Lagos rent combined is about N20 million and he pays for it. £2,000 per month for 11 months in London excluding the upkeep he gives me. Then my Lagos rent is N10 milion. But upkeep do usually enter voicemail as I’m in Lagos and he’s not pressing breast anymore.
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‘What She Said’ is a weekly column, featuring women talking candidly about everything from money to sex. This week we talk to a woman who had a penchant for dating older men, about what that experience was like.
Who’s a sugar baby?
See I don’t even know. I don’t know why people feel the need to give these labels. I had a pretty interesting dating life. And most men I dated were in positions where they felt a need to take care of me. Apparently, that makes me a sugar baby. But I don’t care about these labels.
First man you dated?
I dated this man for about two months. He was in his late forties. I was 21. He was one of the very first older guys I ever dated. He wasn’t married at least as far as I knew. We were like proper girlfriend and boyfriend. I met all his friends followed him for social events, everything. I broke things off with him when he started talking about wanting to meet my parents
And the most exciting?
There was this guy who would see me only once a month, in the same room in the same hotel. Every single month. This went on for a year. He was just always so mysterious. We only talked when he wanted to see and we won’t spend more than a night together until the next month. All we did was cuddle. There was no sex involved, which doesn’t sound exciting. But for me at that point in my life, it was a relief. So I always looked forward to it.
Married men?
I honest to God tried to avoid them. Any married man I might have dated probably lied to me that he wasn’t married. There were divorced men, widowed men, polygamous men too. Because I mean if you have three wives I don’t see anything wrong in being your girlfriend. There were a couple of men I suspected were married. But if you tell me you are not married, I’ll take your word for it. I’m not going to start forming FBI to find out if you are not.
Do you initiate dates?
I never have. Frankly, because Nigerian men don’t give you the time or space to. Walk into a lounge in a fairly tight skirt, face beat, hair laid in 15 minutes max someone will approach you. I guess it’s easy for me to say this because I’m conventionally attractive. I’m pretty tall and that alone has you already turning. I’ve had someone I’ve dated say I look like someone who they should just be spending money on. And I don’t disagree.
Most expensive gift you’ve ever received?
Maybe my first car. It was a 2013 Mercedes c300. And I was still in Uni, so obviously people started talking about me having a sugar daddy. They were like her father has money but not like that. And to be fair they were right. There is no way in hell my father would ever buy me a Benz. But they’ve been some holidays that come close. There’s also a Louis Vuitton luggage set I still use till today.
What’d your dad think about it?
Think about it ke. He didn’t even know about it. I didn’t really try to hide it because I didn’t have to. All of my family is based in Port Harcourt. I came to Lagos for school.
Cash gifts?
Always always. I dated a man who only ever gave me dollars once. I found it very odd because he was a Nigerian doing business in Nigeria. The most cash gift I ever got at once was from a man I only ever saw three times. The last time I saw him I talked about wanting to start a business as I was in school. He gave me ten thousand dollars in cash. I stopped seeing him after that though, I didn’t like the way he made me feel. Before you ask, yes I had sex with him.
So how many men have you dated?
This is anon so I have no problems giving a number, but I honestly don’t know. I could go on one or two dates and never see a man again. I could see another one once every three months. I never dated anyone exclusively. Oh, but I was exclusive with the one who bought my car for the first couple of months. Then I found he was seeing other girls, so I started seeing other people too.
Strangest encounter?
I went on a couple of dates with this man one time. He was so polite and proper. Like British kind of polite with a slight accent sef, but he was Nigerian. Then one weekend we were having light issues in my hostel, so he put my roommate and I in a hotel for the weekend. One night he popped in to say hi and offered to pay my friend and I a ridiculous amount of money to have sex while he watched. I was tempted, my friend was ready but I just don’t move like that.
Ever feared for your safety?
I was at a party in someone’s penthouse one time. I had a little too much to drink and didn’t know when most people left. Next thing I knew we were about three girls wih six or so men. One of the girls knew one of the men so she went into a room with him. Then it was just two of us. They started getting very handsy and I got up to leave. That’s how it turned into ‘where are you going to’? I got up and one pulled me back down. I realised I was half drunk in a room with like five men. I think the other girl had passed out. I started screaming and shouting no time. I was scared because I knew no one could hear me, but I continued. I started threatening to call the police if they didn’t let me go. So they did. I don’t know what happened to the other girl.
Dating life now?
Lol, I’m finally dating men my own age. The highest I’d go now is a ten-year gap. I want to get married and have a kid or two.
What do you miss?
Never having to worry about money. Like ever. Bills were always paid for. Up to buying credit on my phone. I never I had to. I was usually on two or three allowances at once. Anything I wanted was a matter of who will get it for me. I could travel where I wanted when I wanted. Now I have a couple of friends who can be generous but I can’t just up and go to the Maldives I have to plan for it.
Any regrets?
For what now? I was young and having fun. Most people at that age date around casually. And everyone has their preferences some people like tall, dark skin guys. Some like short, light skin guys. Me, I liked older, richer guys. I didn’t get AIDS or any STIs, nobody poured acid on me. Even now that I want to marry that’s still my spec.
Biggest lesson?
Any man who just says he’s going to move mountains for you won’t. If he’s going to, he’ll just do it, not say it. Anyone who spends more time talking about doing things for you than actually doing them is only wasting your time. I’ve had a man hand me 100k with his business card. That’s the kind of energy I like. We dated for about 6 months.
Best part?
The gifts. They just didn’t stop coming. It felt nice to just be chilling and randomly get a delivery of flowers or new shoes.
Then there’s my current job. I got it through an old fling. Nothing actually happened when we first met. Just a lot of flirting, I think he was married. Then we jammed again when I was doing NYSC. This time there was no ring on his finger. When I was done with NYSC he asked for my CV, and introduced me to one of his friends who’s a director at my current company. It’s very well paid so I’ll always be grateful
Out of curiosity, where’s the Benz?
Sold it once I was done with Uni. The maintenance costs didn’t make any sense and I was no longer dating the person who bought it. When I was, he used to handle servicing and any other issues with the car.