Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121 students | Zikoko!
Academic activities at the University of Benin have been suspended indefinitely following an announcement from the school’s Public Relations Officer, Doctor Benedicta Ehanire.
Why did this happen?
On July 3, 2024, Uniben students seized the Benin -Ore highway to protest a power outage and lack of water in their hostels and campuses. The university has been struggling with power cuts, thanks to a new 200% increase in its monthly electricity bill — from 80 million to ₦200-280 million. This new energy cost came after the Benin Electricity Distribution Company (BEDC) cut the university’s power supply over a ₦300 million debt, forcing the university to work with power generators.
The students say they took to the street because light now comes up for only an hour a day, compared to the 20 – 22 hours they usually got. As a result, studying without electricity has become unbearable for them.
Image source: ChannelsTV
The university statement, announcing the closure, states that the university’s senate considered the students’ demand for 24-hour electricity and stable water supply in their hostels and the two campuses unrealistic. It instructed all students to leave the school hostels immediately. Academic and non-academic staff on primary duties are unaffected.
Power outages aren’t limited to Uniben alone. In a report by Punch, rising energy costs are crushing Nigerian universities.
“Some of the institutions have been disconnected from the national grid owing to millions of unpaid electricity bills to DISCOS while others who are still connected are currently grappling with huge amounts of debts running into millions of naira.”
The College of Medicine, University of Lagos, is struggling with its migration to Band A, which has increased energy costs to ₦253 million. The University of Ilorin’s electricity bill jumped from ₦70 million to ₦230 million. Kano Electricity Distribution Company (KEDCO) disconnected the power supply at the Aliko Dangote University of Science and Technology due to a ₦248 million unpaid debt. The University of Jos has an electricity bill debt close to ₦126 million.
For Uniben, this isn’t the first time it’d shut down over students’ protests. In 2021, the university closed for 24 hours following a protest over a ₦20,000 late registration fee.
300 level is an important phase in the Nigerian university experience for anyone in a four-year undergraduate programme. Yes, the excitement of graduation is in the air, but it’s also time to write your final year project.
While writing the thesis itself is challenging, the first shege you’ll battle is choosing a topic that aligns with your course of study or future academic aspirations. From the fear of countless rejections to the anxiety of project supervisor reveals, every 300 level student will relate to this article.
The supervisor reveal
This part is crucial because it can make or mar the project writing experience for you. If it’s a lecturer you want, good for you. If the lecturer is the devil’s advocate, you’ll see premium shege.
Searching Google for research topics
Your supervisor has asked you to submit project topics, and you head straight to Google to find them. The good thing is, you’ll find a plethora of topics until your fellow course mates have the same topics, and then it’s back to square one.
When every topic has been written about
Google says there’s no new topic. The old projects in your school library say everything has been written about. But you know who wouldn’t believe this? Your supervisor. And most times they’re right because there’s still a ton of stuff to write about.
Rejection
The pressure doesn’t hit after the first and second rejections of your project topic. The real pressure starts when your course mates are submitting their chapter one drafts, and you still don’t have a project topic. God, abeg.
[ad]
When your supervisor is interested in your topic
This can mean a good thing or a bad thing. It’s good if you’re an academic badass because the supervisor will go the extra mile to make sure that project bangs. If you’re a struggling student, that supervisor will stress your life with corrections and rewrites.
“Go and write your proposal”
In your project writing journey, this is the first sentence that’ll sound like music to your ears because it means a project topic has been approved. Just make sure you write a killer proposal because things can still go south.
The big “Why?”
Consider this your first mini project defence. Your supervisor will want to know why you’ve chosen a particular topic, and if you stutter in your explanation, they’ll assume you’re paying someone to write the project. And this is bad for you.
Cool parties don’t just happen by chance. There are several experiences and boxes that need to be ticked — If it didn’t dey, it didn’t dey. That’s why this guide exists. If you don’t see these activities at your next campus party, feel free to head out.
But maybe there’s no need to ‘lurn’ the hard way; you can learn easily from University of Port Harcourt, University of Nigeria, Imo State University and University of Lagos students’ experience during the Sabinus campus tour that Malta Guinness refreshed recently. Nigerian Students no dey carry last, after all.
The coolest people
What’s a cool party without the cool kids? The cool kids are always down to have a good time, and you’ll always find them where the fun is.
Exciting artist line-up
The first box to tick has to be music. How else do you want to dance and forget that you have a million tests to read for and a gazillion assignments to turn in if the music performances aren’t epic?
Rap battles and dance contests
The chance to have the time of your life AND show your talent? Sign us up. Who knows if that’s where your entertainment career will take up from? Besides, there’s no easier way to become more popular on campus.
Stand-up comedian performances
Not every time, dance. Sometimes you just want to laugh till your ribs ache like the students who enjoyed the Malta Guinness X Sabinus Campus Tours. We have it in good standing that there was no dry moment. How could there be? Do you know how many stand-up comedians there were? And haven’t you watched a Sabinus video?
Drinks and mocktails
Who says you can’t have a good time without getting a headache the next day? As long as there are ice-cold cans of Malta Guinness and delightful Malta Guinness-infused mocktails for wholesome nourishment, you’re good to go.
Fire set-ups
Of course, you’d need cute backdrops for Instagrammable pictures. It’s the law.
Giveaways too
What do all campus parties have in common? Students going through one stage of sapa or the other. So they wouldn’t say no to giveaways. There were freebies and giveaways at the Sabinus Live in Concert Campus Tours sponsored by Malta Guinness. If I were you, I’d keep my eyes peeled for the next one. Just saying.
Malta Guinness remains committed to fostering a world of good, promising more vibrant experiences ahead! For further updates on how best to throw campus parties, follow Malta Guinness NG on Instagram and visit www.facebook.com/maltaguinness to learn more.
I visited my aunt some months ago and saw my 14-year-old cousin loitering around a woodwork store a few blocks away. Naturally, I assumed he was on an errand and would join me in his house shortly.
One hour after I’d settled in, he didn’t return, and I was forced to tell my aunt I’d seen him loitering around. She laughed off my concern and told me he was at his training centre. Apparently, she’d discovered his love for woodwork from some DIY projects in school and decided to enroll him with a professional. They had an arrangement that saw him spending one to two hours at the workshop after closing from school. I was tempted to protest the idea, but I’d taken a mental note of the place earlier, and it would’ve passed for an IKEA showroom.
This reminded me of how I’d persuaded my mum to enroll me for a graphic design certification course in the second year after I’d completed secondary school without a university admission. These seven Nigerians share their own stories of how they spent life after graduating from secondary school or university.
Onyinye*, 32
I had some outstanding fees to pay after finishing 400 level, so I couldn’t graduate. Things were tough at home, so I had to take up a teaching job at a primary school to raise the remainder of my school fees. I worked for a year and about seven months. It was one of the toughest things I had to do, but no experience taught me more about patience.
Iyanu*, 33
I graduated with a third-class degree, so I wasn’t excited to be done with school. I knew my parents would want to see my results because they had friends and relatives who’d asked for my CV to be passed along once I graduated. I couldn’t let that happen, so I sought to start making money before I was posted for NYSC. That way, I’d already have something to do and they wouldn’t need to help me look for jobs when I graduated. I went to stay with a friend who promised to “Show me the way”. I’d spend most of the day watching him type letters on his system, and whenever I asked, “What’s up?” He’d tell me to observe the way he writes and responds. It didn’t take me long to figure out he was into internet fraud. I didn’t have a problem with it after watching him get paid in dollars. Twice, I tried my hands at it but failed. He was also always reading and learning how to write many different documents. And I knew I didn’t have the head for heavy reading or writing, especially when it’s to scam. So I ended up taking a factory job, and that was where I did my NYSC PPA. These days, I’m an Uber driver.
Tara* 17
I graduated from secondary school last year, and I’ve not started processing my admission because I didn’t pass all my WAEC subjects. I’m retaking the exam, but pending the time I’ll resume tutorial classes, my mum enrolled me at a makeup school. She doesn’t like the idea of leaving me at home doing nothing while everyone goes to work. I resume at 9 and close at 3 p.m. from Mondays to Fridays.
[ad]
Godfrey, 38*
I’m still mad at my parents for not making me learn something after I graduated from secondary school. I was at home for three years before I gained admission, and I spent all that time doing chores, watching movies and babysitting for aunties and uncles. If I’d learned something, I’d have been more buoyant in uni. I had coursemates who were hairdressers, barbers, electricians, shoemakers, and they were hardly ever dead broke because they had something bringing extra money. And then, there I was, relying on pocket money for the most part of my time in uni.
James 30
After graduating from uni in 2016, we had to wait for some months for clearance and NYSC. There was a lot of free time, but I didn’t want to go back home to do nothing. So this close pal, who was a first-class student, looped me in on something he was doing. I didn’t know it was a ponzi scheme at the time, I just knew it was money-doubling. Pay ₦10k, and recoup ₦20k, that sort of thing. Anyway, this friend got a lightbulb moment to run our own “honest” ponzi scheme. We formed a team of six, including a pastor who was big on “honest” ponzi. I was in charge of customer support, and we managed to build a level of trust you didn’t find with other ponzi websites at the time. We’d constantly keep people in the loop about when to expect their payment and such. But things went south when someone hacked our system and diverted the funds. We also got word from the pastor that the evil eye had been cast upon the entire project. The tipping point was when neighbours called the police on us on the hunch that we were yahoo boys. Thankfully, we’d taken an out-of-state trip at the time, and they could only get hold of my friend’s cousin. I honestly thought I was going to make my first and several millions from it. But that was the end of that episode. Months later, I went for NYSC in Lagos and resumed at a small e-commerce company as a content writer.
I studied History and couldn’t find a job after I completed NYSC. The school I served in was in the north. They offered to retain me, but I knew I didn’t want to live there, and I wasn’t really interested in teaching. It was stressful, and the salary wasn’t rewarding. After about three months of job hunting, I enrolled at a fashion design school, and that was how I became a tailor. I wonder why I went to university at all because I could’ve spent all that time at the fashion school. I’m always telling my kids to let me know if they want to learn anything. I don’t want them making the same mistakes I did.
Jumoke, 40
I baked snacks and cakes for friends during their birthdays in uni. I’d learned the basics from my mum and got better on my own. This made it easy for me to get something to do when I graduated. My parents were actually worried at some point because they thought I’d drop out or graduate with bad grades. To them, baking was a distraction. But I made 2:1, and three weeks after graduation, my parents gave me money to buy a professional mixer and industrial oven. I think they were so supportive because I took my business as seriously as my education. My kids are still young, but I know I’ll want them to have a clear path early on in life too. I’m always paying attention to their interests; my husband thinks I’m doing too much.
We’re throwing the biggest meat festival in Lagos. Grab your tickets to Burning Ram here.
Some months ago, I asked my WhatsApp contacts if they’d consider sending their kids to boarding school, and one of them said “No” because of the Madam Koi Koi and Bush Baby stories he’d heard. As someone who spent six years of my life in boarding school, I rolled my eyes so hard and had a good laugh.
While his concerns for safety hold water, they are nowhere near the scary things boarding school students experience in real life. I recently spoke with eight of my childhood friends who also attended boarding schools, and these are their stories.
“We were sure a wolf had invaded our school” — Biodun*, Lagos State Model College, Badore
One time, we were all convinced a wolf had gotten into the boys’ hostel. Our school wasn’t far from the Lekki Conservation Centre, and Ajah wasn’t fully developed then. We were surrounded by thick forests. We’d wake up in the morning to find footprints at the entrance to our hostel. It didn’t look like a cat or dog’s footprints. No one had a dog in school — not the academic staff or the non-academic staff. We knew we couldn’t catch it, but we were all determined to at least see the wolf. For about a week, we’d stay up late into the night and watch from the window, hoping to see the wolf. I never saw it, but some people swore it was white. One thing was sure though, we’d wake up the next morning and see the footprints.
“Two men in white tried to take me with them” — Tunji*, Lagos State Model College, Badore
Three days after I resumed as a JSS 1 student, a senior who was my family friend invited me over to her class during night prep. She gave me a good pep talk on how to survive in school. On my way back to my class, two strange people appeared to me, all in white. I didn’t see them approach; they just appeared. They told me to follow them to the toilet, but I insisted I wasn’t pressed. They tried to coerce me until I saw one of the teachers standing far away. I screamed, and they just disappeared. When I told my friends at the time, they didn’t take me serious.
“We saw a bush baby one night” — Tanwa*, Babcock University High School
While other classes had left for the long holiday after third term exams, us JSS 2 students had to stay back to prepare for our junior WAEC. Around midnight, my friend and I were gisting and laughing when we heard the sound of a child crying and pushing something that sounded like a cart behind our room window. The window faced a thick bush path that led to the general refuse pit. we sat in shock as the crying and pushing continued. The following morning, we found out everyone who was awake around that time also heard the strange cries. We all believed it was a bush baby we saw that night.
“I saw a growing shadow on the wall” — Lase*, Lagos State Model College, Igbogbo
I woke up one night in JSS 1 and wanted to take a shit. There was no light in the hostel, but to make it worse, none of my friends wanted to follow me to the toilet. We usually moved around in groups during the day. I grabbed my touch light and braced up. But just as I was about to get to the door, I saw this huge shadow on the wall moving weirdly and making a rickety sound. My first thought was to scream and run, but I calmed myself and started to tiptoe. The shadow got smaller as I got closer to the bunk. When I finally got to it, I saw it was two guys having sex. Up until that moment, I’d never heard of gay sex. They must’ve seen my torch because they stopped, and I just went about my business. However, the entire image — the big shadow, rickety sound and general darkness — manifested into a scary memory in my head. It haunted me until I got older and had a better understanding of sex and sexuality.
“A ghost that touched girls at night” — Anita*, Lagos State Model College, Badore
I can’t forget the two weeks of horror we once experienced in the girls’ hostel. First, it was strange sounds in the ceiling every midnight, but it didn’t stop at that. Some female students started to complain that someone kept touching them in the middle of the night, but no one ever saw the person behind the mischievous acts. In fact, we were convinced it was a ghost since we couldn’t catch anyone no matter how hard we tried to keep watch. Female students were so scared to go to bed, we started arming ourselves with sticks and “legelege” (cutlass). Eventually, some teachers and male students decided to set a trap for the perpetrator. The exact details are fuzzy now, but we found out it was a male kitchen staff who’d been sacked but was still hanging around the school premises.
“A dark figure inside our room” — Temi*, Babcock University High School
My bunkmate and I had just gotten back to the hostel after we were discharged from the school’s hospital. That night, a man in an all-black outfit and a black hat entered the girls’ hostel. For whatever reason, my bunk was his target. I remember seeing a tall figure in front of me. He smelt like an animal with a mix of grass and shit. I wanted to throw up, but there was no light, and I was too scared to leave my bed. The man pulled off his hat, dropped it beside my face and bent down to touch my bunkmate. By reflex, I vomited inside his hat, and this woke my bunkmate and some of my roommates up. My bunkmate screamed after seeing a dark figure bent over her, and he fled with his vomit-filled hat. Everyone woke up and started screaming too. The noise drew the attention of other rooms, and the whole hostel was in pandemonium, with people running to the courtyard. Some girls saw him try to escape from the hostel, some claimed to have met him on their way to the courtyard, but till I left the school, the person was never caught.
“The hall scatters itself overnight” — Gbemi* Mayflower School
When I was in JSS 1, my hostel was in front of the girls’ hall where the senior students had their night prep and other extra lessons. My window was quite close to this hall, and I was on the top bunk. After prep class, they clean the hall and lock it. But what I found strange was that around 1 a.m., the hall would start scattering itself. The benches and tables would smash against each other as though someone was there. It continued till I became a senior. We’d lock the hall, and the next morning everywhere would be scattered without any explanation.
Zikoko is throwing the biggest party for food lovers and meat is on the menu. Sign up here to be notified when ticket sales begin.
For many young Nigerians, their first experience of premium shege probably starts when they sit for the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME), popularly known as JAMB.
However, with the latest development, on June 24, 2023, the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) announced new cut-off marks set at 140 for universities and 100 for polytechnics and colleges of education.
What’s their reason for this?
Although JAMB has yet to state their reasons behind this, during a Policy Meeting on Admissions on June 24, presided over by the Minister of Education, Adamu Adamu, JAMB’s registrar, Professor Ishaq Oloyede, revealed that out of the 1,761,338 candidates who sat for the 2022 UTME, only 378,639 (21.5%) scored above 200, and about 520,596 (29.56%) scored 190 and above. With 48.97% scoring below 180.
However, Oloyede pointed out that universities can set their own cut-off marks. Still, they aren’t allowed to go under the newly agreed minimum marks of 140 for universities and 100 for polytechnics and colleges of education.
Nonetheless, this announcement has been met with many mixed reactions from young Nigerians, educators, and students.
Zikoko Citizen reached out to some of them, and they shared their thoughts.
What are people saying?
Yinka’s a teacher at a private secondary school in Lagos, and she believes that the new JAMB cut-off marks will affect our quality of education. “There’s no justifiable reason for what JAMB did. The quality of education has drastically dropped because of exam malpractice. We already see cases where university students are unable to write simple letters. And yet, admission cut-off marks are being further lowered, which shows that our level of education in Nigeria is gone. I’m not in support of it at all.”
According to the World Economic Forum (2017), Nigeria ranks 124th out of 137 countries in terms of primary education, and we’re also missing in the top ten education systems in Africa. A report by Businessday also revealed that the poor quality of tertiary education in Nigeria contributes to about 18% of yearly school dropouts.
OJ, who recently passed out of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) programme, shares the same sentiment as Yinka. According to them, “If people educated by the government are struggling to meet 1/4th of the cut-off mark, it’s telling of the shambles our educational system is in. Cutting down the cut-off mark won’t change that; the whole thing is a joke either way.” They add that the government might be taking the easy way out and should instead focus on making policies and reforms that would benefit our educational system.
But not all reactions are negative about the new cutoff mark, as some students are excited about this announcement. Victoria, who sat for the 2022 UTME, says she’s happy with the news as she believes it’ll benefit her. She had 195 in the last examination and thinks the new cut-off mark will increase her chances of getting into her preferred course.
On the other hand, some people, like Reggie, question the relevance of JAMB altogether. He says, “The West African Senior School Certificate Examination (WASSCE) and internal exams set by universities should be enough to screen prospective students. JAMB should be scrapped.”
Every three bathroom breaks, Nigerian universities get dragged through the mud on and offline. But are they spitting facts or just dissing? We joined the conversation to uncover the reasons behind all the hate.
I-can-do-and-undo lecturers
Just pray you don’t get in trouble with a lecturer that thinks they’re next after God. They’ll tell you how they taught medicine to Small Doctor; and find a way to keep you in school for the next ten years.
Sex for grades
Why are there so many lecturers who can’t keep their genitals in their pants?
Some lecturers must always collect money for books or department projects from students. Their catch phrase is “I’m not forcing you to buy my book, but if you don’t buy this year, you’ll buy next year”.
When will people stop asking if school’s on break?
It’s painful when you finally realise you’re still fightingfor a bus at Unilorin car park when your mates from private unis are already complaining about NYSC PPA or entry-level work stress.
Hot babes, come to Ikoyi to get lit with other hot babes at HERtitude 2023 on May 27th. Get your ticket here.
Student union that’s weaker than spiderweb
Other than appearing at department dinners, they’ve no power to implement change. Also, why is a boomer the leader of the National Association of Nigerian Students?
Every year, school fees hike
Money doesn’t grow on trees, but school management wants you to have it when they want it.
Every morning, database is on 404 Error
One school got hacked several times recently. How long will sensitive data go unprotected? Just hire professionals.
Missing exam scripts
Imagine retaking a six-unit course because your exam script is sleeping under one dusty, heavy shelf in the department, and no one could be bothered to find it. How did it get there in the first place? No one knows.
You can’t wait until uni is done and dusted, so you can sleep better at night and finally be free from group work, and that’s understandable. But what’s the answer to the burning question on your mind: what do you do with your life after uni?
It’s bad enough that monthly allowance will cease and you’ll miss the oddly satisfying sense of safety the university environment provides, but it is what it is.
Those feelings are totally valid, and you’re not alone. Also, don’t worry, we won’t shove advise down your throat like your African parents or village people.
1. Realise that no one has it all figured out
It might look like it, but many recent (or about-to-be) graduates like you do not have their lives figured out. Everyone is really just taking it one day at a time and supplementing with vibes. So, give yourself some credit for surviving the last four or more years in a system designed to frustrate you.
2. Be calming down
Instead of freaking out about what the future holds and how you literally have no clue what you’re doing with your life, take time out to b-r-e-a-t-h-e. Being a graduate is not beans, after all. Take a moment to reflect on your life and acknowledge your achievements.
3. Disappoint your parents
You’ve probably played by their rules for this long, and now they’ll have expectations of you “settling down” and getting a good job.
4. Write a goodbye letter to that one lecturer
You know the one we’re referring to. Every university has that one lecturer who made school a living nightmare. Write to let them know your God is bigger than them.
5. Become a full-time sugar baby
Now that your parents will likely cut back on allowances and student privileges, you need a new source to foot your “adulting” bills. Start writing your “sugar baby available” ad now o!
You’ve been eyeing that person since first year, so why not go ahead and ask them on a date? Take risk and succeed!
[newsletter]
8. Look for internship opportunities
If you feel like you’re ready to face the post-uni life head-on, then an internship would be a great way to garner experience in the workforce. Sha don’t let anybody use your head in the name of internship. Have you seen the price of sardine?
9. Ask for an apology
Yes, the person who invented school and all the stress that comes with it seriously needs to apologise.
10. Network
This is the time to leave that triangle in which you have been stuck in and expand your circle. Life outchea goes beyond cliques. This is not to say, abandon your school friends, but learn to put yourself out there and connect with people who align with your dreams, goals and aspirations.
Asides exorbitant fees, what is the price they pay to study in these religious and non-religious private unis? Read on to find out.
Anne, 21
My university has horrible hostels and living conditions. It’s even worse for medical students coupled with the fact that we pay more for accommodation than all the other students. There’s also poor maintenance of the school buildings. Can you believe grasses are taller than the students? I understand that it’s the first private school in Nigeria but at least maintain the buildings! They have horrible health care services; the clinic is basically an empty building, the drugs are expensive for nothing. Sometimes if you’re sick and you need drugs or injection, you’d have to buy it yourself.
Joshua, 16
The fees are outrageous. I paid 4 million Naira in my first year for basic biology. Nothing is changing in the school and now, they’ve increased the fees by 1.4 million Naira! Everything here is overpriced. I feel like they buy things outside and multiply the price by two. Water too is very dirty, and as a result, we have to buy water to bathe. Something that shouldn’t even be happening. Fungi was growing on the walls in my room, and we pleaded with them to fix it, but they didn’t. There is a compulsory acceptance fee of 200k you have to pay before you enter the school, which I think is unnecessary. Another thing I hate is that students are not allowed to leave the school for any reason except when you’re about to die. Mind you, their health care services are terrible as well. There are rumours that a boy died last semester due to the late arrival of ambulances. Things are that bad. The owner of the school doesn’t renovate existing buildings. All he does is build new ones he can boast about. Worse still, the Medicine and Surgery College auditorium is very horrible. You can’t sit on half of the seats there, and some places on the roof are leaking. I also hate the fact that we have classes from 8 a.m till 9 p.m. It’s exhausting.In this school, if you fail just one course, you’ll be asked to opt for another course in the same department. It happened to me because for some reason, they couldn’t find one of my results. I had to go through the ordeal of trying to get another JAMB admission letter.A conference was held to discuss the state of things and parents demanded for changes, but nothing changed.
Shola, 22
They think they’re doing students and parents a favour because they’re not affected by strikes and unforeseen circumstances like COVID. Basically, they’re pompous and think they can do anything they want e.g increasing school fees, making weird rules, and you can’t complain because where else can you go? The rules! I swear to God, private universities come up with the weirdest rules and regulations. Again, the school management has this haughty mentality because they’re free of government influence and can run shit however they want to an extent. If there are any complaints from the student body, they’ll slap you with something like “If you cannot adhere to our rules and let the school pass through you, then get out. There are applicants begging to be in your shoes. We can fill your spot anytime.” The restrictions on dressing and hairstyle is tolerable for me, but it still sucks.
Dami, 19
I’m in a private school, and the worst thing about it is the fact that it’s overly restrictive and they treat us like kids. The dress code is ridiculous. We even have a seven p.m. curfew. Our hostel porters have way too much power in my own opinion. Then school food is bad and expensive at the same time. Although the university isn’t owned by a church, we’re required to go to church twice a week.
Daniel, 26
So the private university I attended makes service compulsory, and we had 4 services in a week, minus hall worship. Your fees cover feeding, but the food is subpar, let’s not even talk about the long queues to get it. Or how faith-based universities have silly rules like no jeans. What has it done?? Why no jeans? Also, women couldn’t wear trousers except for sports. Like why??? They have the most absurd rules. I left in 2015, I don’t know if things have changed now.
Ibk, 24
Private universities don’t encourage individuality. They put so much fear in you, you forget the person you are. The school creates a bubble and locks you in. It makes it difficult for you to navigate real life and question authority. A lot of the schools also make you live in fear. You don’t know how to be expressive of what you are really going through. They treat adults like babies. I went to CU and it was a horrible experience for me. The classes are small which is a good thing and lecturers can notice every student, but it’s hard for lecturers to care about the students who are not doing well. They expend more energy on students who are doing well and are visibly disdainful to students who struggle with school.
Jamila, 20
The one thing that stands out for me about the private university I attend is how nonchalant the school is about their students’ well-being. For starters, the food isn’t quality and it is overpriced. There are times when all the ATMs in the school would stop working at once, and it could stay like that for weeks. Church service is their priority and you can’t leave the hall until the service is over. One time, they didn’t let my friend out even though she was having an asthma attack. I had to beg. To top it all, they are so indecisive about the resumption dates and could spontaneously decide to change the already set date few days before it arrives. This can make students from all over the country to cancel their already booked flights. Then the way they try to suppress and silence students whenever we want to speak up about something we don’t like or think needs to change is sad.
Since having sex in beds and rooms is totally outdated, we asked some students some of the wildest places they have had sex.
Amanda, UniBen/20
It was at the balcony of the lecture theatre. It would have been inside the lecture theatre, but too many doors, so it was easy to get caught. The balcony however, had just one entrance. We did it more than once and although we almost got caught, the thrill just made it more exciting.
Elizabeth, UniLag/19
The roof of my faculty. Some of us were just there, minding our business as usual and chilling when suddenly we started kissing? I actually cannot explain how it happened, but I know it happened.
Tunde, UniBen/19
The car park of one of the school hostels. My girlfriend and I were just talking, and she put her head on my lap and started sucking my dick. After that, I fingered her.
Ivie, AfeBabalola/19
It was an abandoned shopping mall. You can just walk into any abandoned shopping complex and have sex inside. I do not make the rules.
Tunde, UI/20
We were in my lecturer’s office, waiting for the man to come and attend to us. She told me she wanted to fuck me in my lecturer’s office and I genuinely thought she had lost it, but she was serious. We started kissing, and I guess the thrill of almost getting caught made me very excited. After we were done, a few minutes later the lecturer walked in. While he was talking, all I kept thinking of was how I just had sex in my lecturer’s office.
Emeka, UniBen/19
So, I was not involved, but I did catch two people having sex behind one of the ATM’s in school at night. I do not think they saw me, but I saw them. They even brought a wrapper because of the grass. I tried to stop myself from laughing because of the way the guy was moaning.
Cynthia, UniLag/18
My girlfriend once fingered me while a class was going on. When it was happening, it was hot. Looking back, if we had been caught, that would have been too dangerous.
What does life look like for Gen Z Nigerians everywhere in the world? Every Friday, we ask five Gen Z Nigerian students one question in order to understand their outlook of life.
Religion is a big topic for Nigerians because we live in a very religious society. This week, we asked them how their faith (or lack of) has been impacted by the education they receive.
Here’s what they said:
Ana: Afe Babalola, 19-years-old. No religion, just vibes
Going to University definitely affected my faith.. Before I went, I was kind of a Christian. Now? Not so much. As a biochemistry major in my third year, you see all the processes of life explained. Science is my peace, and it does not allow for the thousand and one loopholes Christianity does. It is relatable, I understand it. They teach me that miracles are things science just does not have an explanation for yet. I feel the only thing still tying me down to a belief in a higher power, is the creation of the world. Once I figure that out, I am golden. My parents don’t know, and I don’t plan on telling them. Not at least until I’m out of their house.
Chidinma: University of Nigeria, Nsukka, 20-years-old. Christian
I am a very religious person. Christianity is my push and driving force. It was integrated into every area of my life, at least before I started psychology. I’m in my third year now, and one thing we have to learn is to celebrate personal bias and faith from work. Although prayer gives me peace, I cannot advise that as a solution to a patient. Learning that in school, is teaching me how to separate my faith from all other areas of my life, and I do not know what that means for me right now.
Kabiru: UniLorin, 18-years-old, Muslim
I guess I am a bit too strong in my faith to have anything shake it, education or otherwise. Allah has been there for me even before I was born, so why will education make me turn my back on that? The knowledge I am trying so desperately to get was given to me by Allah. He is the reason I am able to start school in the first place.
Tolu: Covenant University, 21-years-old, Christian
We attend church a lot in school. It is a requirement to graduate so I really did not have a choice. I was not one of the strongest Muslims out there, because I found the religion a bit off, so maybe that was why it was so easy for me to convert to Christianity. I had a lot of Christian friends, and they always spoke about faith and love of God. It felt nice, and I wanted to see what they were on about anyway. I kept telling myself that if this also doesn’t feel right, I’d just leave. It feels right. I’m meant to graduate this year, so we’ll see how this goes.
Cynthia: UniLag, 19-years-old, Polytheist
As someone that studies Creative Arts, perspective is very important. There is nothing really objective, everything is based on the subject. That is how my faith started to change. By my second year (in my third now), Muslim? Christian? Traditional worshipper? All of them became right, and all of them wrong. It is all based on perspective.
For more stories about student life and Gen-Z culture, click here
Students in Nigerian universities have stories to tell, but hardly anyone to tell them to. For our new weekly series, Aluta and Chill, we are putting the spotlight on these students and their various campus experiences.
University life comes with a lot of pressure. At the top of it is the pressure to stay in school until it’s time to graduate. To make this happen, you need to pass your courses. It’s not a big deal until you remember that some courses, for myriad reasons, are designed to give even the brightest students a tough time. This is something I thought I should explore this week. So, I spoke to some students at University of Uyo and asked them to talk about the toughest course they’ve dealt with. This is what they said;
Unyimeobong – I had three lectures at the same time
I took this Biochemistry course when I was in 200 level. I’m not even studying Biochemistry, but my department said we had to register for the course. I knew something was brewing when I saw the performances of the previous set and found out that a sizable chunk of the class failed.
The problem started with the timetable. I had three classes scheduled for the same time. The university has three campuses and each of these courses had their venues on a different campus. I’m still not sure how they expected me to wing that. It was hard to keep up with all the classes, so I missed out on most of what they did.
The few times I made the Biochemistry class, the lecturer just came in, said a few things, and dropped a material for us. Unfortunately, I could never understand the content of the materials. When it was time to write the exam, I went into the hall knowing that I was essentially unprepared.
I hoped that I would get a D, but that didn’t happen. I failed the course and had to register for it again the following year. Luckily, the arrangement was better the second time — different lecturers took the course and that proved to be what I needed. I wrote the exam again and that was the last time I had to worry about this course.
Ima – I couldn’t keep up with the lectures
This happened with a prerequisite course, which was also a non-departmental course. I’m studying Food Science and Technology and the course was in the Faculty of Engineering. I lost interest in the course from the first day I attended the class. The lecturer came in and assumed that everyone in the class was well-grounded in engineering basics. It went downhill from there.
For the entire time the class ran, I could hardly relate to anything. I didn’t understand why I had to register for it in the first place. So, I practically couldn’t care less about the course. I couldn’t push myself to learn anything from the classes. That definitely didn’t end well.
I wrote the exam the first time and failed it. I can’t say that I was surprised that it happened. When I had to re-register the following year, I knew that I had to figure out a way to wing it — not that I was interested in it, but I didn’t think I would survive it if I had to go to the classes in my third year. So, I turned to tutorials and attended as many as I could. It was a lot of stress and mental torture. I wrote the exam again and I passed this time. I wasn’t ecstatic, I was just relieved that it was over.
Mary — I had a weird lecturer
This story happened in my third year. The course was somewhat odd — you either pass brilliantly or fail woefully. I didn’t understand why this happened until I started attending the classes. The lecturer is from Akwa Ibom state and had something against “foreigners”. He taught all his classes in Ibibio and he knew that not every student in the class understood the language.
That wasn’t even the weirdest part. This man liked to make unnecessary jokes all the time. He could spend the whole lecture commenting on how a girl dressed and whatnot. It didn’t help that some students encouraged this behaviour.
If anyone complained about his teaching, he would ask them to tell him the state they came from and if the answer was not Akwa Ibom, he would ask them why they couldn’t go to a university in their state.
I understood Ibibio, but that did little to help me. He hardly taught us anything related to the course. His lectures were consistently a waste of time. To make things worse for everyone, he didn’t give any material out, even though he always brought a textbook to class.
I was the assistant course rep and my classmates thought he liked me, so they asked me to get close to him and get the material by any means possible. They wanted me to be the sacrificial lamb and that didn’t sit well with me.
So yes, the course was very difficult to deal with. It didn’t help that a lot of people who had carried the course over were attending classes with us. However, I always knew that I couldn’t fail the course. Luckily, I had a window to take pictures of topics from the textbook he brought to class and I took the opportunity. I added that to the breadcrumbs he’d given us in class and that did the trick. I wrote the exam and got an A.
Zamani — The lecturer expected us to figure everything out
I’m very proactive and I ask for help when I need it. So, when I went to some of my senior colleagues and they didn’t have good news for me about a course I had to take in my third year, I understood that I was in a mess. Unfortunately, it was a compulsory course and I couldn’t drop it and take another. I knew it was going to be near impossible to ace the exams, but I braced myself and gave it everything I had.
The course wasn’t exactly difficult, but the lecturer’s approach to teaching was a big disservice to every student in the class. The course involved a lot of calculations and the lecturer skipped everything that remotely looked like that. Apparently, he expected us to figure those bits out.
We were in for a rude shock on the day we wrote the exams. All 6 questions required us to make extensive calculations. Man, it was a sad day. I decided that I couldn’t kill myself and just did the little I could. It was certain that I was going to carry over the course but something happened and I got a D. Normally, that wasn’t something I would be proud of, but it was enough for me to move on totally from the course. And that’s all I wanted.
Can’t get enough Aluta and Chill?Check back every Thursday at 9 AM for a new episode. Find other stories in the series here.
Every student must have heard of the saying: “Don’t let the school pass through you, pass through the school”. With that in mind, these are 11 things everyone who passed through Nnamdi Azikwe University will immediately get.
1. When you pour water downstairs and the hostel portress shouts “gbadata ana”
Just get ready to do anything to get out of the situation
2. How you live when you own a generator and everyone tries to be your friend
Think free food, free knacks, free gifts.
3. When you see your friend, hands filled with Roban goodies.
Bebe, ngwanu gist me.
4. How the flowers at Chike Okoli look at you when you pose to take a picture.
We be making your pic swoon-worthy.
5. After admiring your crush’s shirt and trousers, then you find crocs on his feet.
What a waste of my admiration.
6. Everyone, when they see anti-cult coming to the hostel
Everybody scatter.
7. When you alight from keke and driver doesn’t have #10 change.
Oga, don’t play with my intelligence.
8. When your quiz is in two minutes time and you can’t find an empty shuttle.
I need a miracle in my life.
9. When you haven’t paid your fees and you remember Esimone is not Ahaneku.
#BringBackOurAhaneku.
10. When that smitten church brother invites you for night class
Brother Solomon, are you sure your ways are pure?
11. When you hear that Esimone has finally installed CCTV Camera
It’s been two months and chances of Nigerian schools reopening are still pretty slim. Schools across the country were closed to control the spread of the coronavirus in Nigeria. Anyway, we reached out to some Nigerian students and they talked about how much they look forward to going back to school.
Oiza – Ahmadu Bello University
I understand why schools had to be closed, but I’d rather be anywhere but this house. It’s hard enough to study in school, but it’s almost impossible to do that at home. My friends and I even had a study arrangement that lasted for a week. Maybe online learning facilities would have made the difference if they were available, I guess we will never know.
I’m tired of this house. Stress. No power. No privacy. Every single move I make is judged with one impossible standard. I’m cut off from people who understand. It’s very messed up and I’m tired. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve cried. I’m prepared for the Fs I’ll have after this extended break. It’s like ASUU strike, except you can’t blame the FG this time. I’m really looking forward to returning to school and getting my freedom back. Go on late night walks with friends. And oh, did I mention the school Wi-fi?
Gamaliel – University of Lagos
News of the closure was a punch to the gut. I knew I would be cut off from my allowance and that didn’t sound like it would be fun for me. Besides, home is somewhat far, so getting myself here was a chore. At the moment, I’m running on pure vibes. Do I want schools to reopen? Absolutely! That would make my life easier. I would get my allowance back, to start with. Then my freedom. And I would be reunited with my girl. Strangely enough, I miss everything about school — the lectures, the tests and exams. I’ve now realised that I love education so much.
Eseosa – University of Port Harcourt
You should have seen how eager I was to go home when this entire thing started. To me, home meant one important thing — food. Everything was great for a while, but now I know the novelty has worn off and it’s beginning to look like a punishment. I’m not going to lie, my school work has suffered. I’ve spent close to two months at home and I only started studying this week. So yes, the only place I want to be right now is my school. The best thing that could possibly happen to me right now is Nigerian schools reopening. For starters, I miss my friends, ugh! I miss living alone, I can’t take the see-finish in this house anymore.
Rebecca – Kwara State University
I was livid when the school got closed. I mean, corona is not yet to play, but I was supposed to begin exams in a week, and everything got cancelled. That was really painful. I’m too comfortable at home, and it’s affecting how I study. And I don’t think virtual learning would have helped because physical classes are not 100 per cent effective at all times, now what are the chances that virtual learning would do better? Anyway, I have only one wish at the moment — and it is for schools to reopen, so I can write my exams and get it over it.
Rajunor – University of Calabar
For some reason, I didn’t think this situation was going to last this long. I wasn’t even going to come home as I didn’t see the point. But here we are. I’m doing a lot of things at home, but studying is not one of them. There’s always one thing to do or the other. I won’t say I’m excited about returning to school right now though. I’m really indifferent about it. But if it happens, I excited about attending lectures. We’ve lost a lot of time already, so I know there’s going to be quite a rush when the school gates are finally open. It’s somewhat scary, but I think I’m prepared for that.
While we wait for Nigerian schools reopening, you can catch up on some Aluta and Chill stories in the box below
Money is important in all spheres of life, even more so as a student in a Nigerian university, where everything is designed to suck your finances away; from small proportions of food to buying handouts or having a dating life. Having extra cash as a student can be a lifesaver, especially when it comes in consistently, alongside your allowances.
Here are 10 ways to make money legitimately as a student in Nigeria:
1) Become a makeup artist:
Some people need training while other are naturals when it comes to makeup artistry. Figure out which one you are and get started. Word of mouth is the best way to get customers as a makeup artist, and a great face beat, of course. You can partner up with photographers; making up for their shoots.
2) Sell clothes:
Shirts, jeans, skirts, bedsheets, any clothing item really. This is a great way to get quick cash. Go to a market, buy clothes in bulk, sell them off for really low prices but ensure you get your money immediately because you really don’t want to be going around school looking for your debtors.
3) Freelance writing:
This should work if you love writing and can balance meeting deadlines with school work. Try not to take on too many writing projects so you don’t get overwhelmed; losing a grip on school and work at the same time. Sign up to platforms like Upwork, Fiverr; offer to ghostwrite for someone for a fee or just become a contributor for blogs. There are many Nigerian companies willing to hire a student writer, if you pitch yourself well.
4) Take up photography:
We all love to freeze some memories in time and what’s the best way to make money than being the go-to person for such services? Get a camera, start small–it doesn’t have to be a DSLR– and offer your skill for seeing the details that everyone misses. Matriculation and convocation periods are the best times to make money. Oh, and birthdays too, some people LOVE to celebrate every birthday with a studio session, even if there’s no cake; take advantage of that.
5) Do tutorials:
So you’re an efiwe (bookworm) who remembers the methods of numberline from JSS classes and advanced chemistry courses? Well, there’s an opportunity there; become a teacher at a Jamb/Waec tutorial centre or spread the information by word-of-mouth that you are available to guide another student in your university through a difficult course. You’ll be learning and earning as you teach others–best of both worlds
6) Sew clothes (fashion design):
Got mad tailoring skills? You should utilize your hobby and make cool cash out of it. Again, word-of-mouth advertisement and evidence of your great skill is your best bet for getting clients that are willing to pay.
7) Help other students with projects:
We all know those students that would rather cut off their arm than lift a finger to do their projects. Offer to help them out for a fee and they’ll run towards you in gratitude and more jobs than you can handle.
8) Graphic design/Website development:
This will require technical skills that you might have to pay someone to get or take the cheaper and better route of learning –YouTube. Because, odds are, that person teaching you is also checking YouTube for some tutorials. Offer to design or build someone’s website once you’ve garnered enough knowledge about the whole thing. Charge a small fee and go from there.
9) Online registrations:
Admission period is one of the best times for this. You can help new students navigate the student portal; apply for admission, apply for hostel, check their results and more, for a fee.
10) Ushering:
Ushering at seminars, workshops, concerts, parties and more for a few hours (or days) gives you access to money, food and a social life without encroaching on your school life and schedule. The flexible hours of ushering makes it easy to balance your work life with school activities
What’s your best thing to do in university to make money? Drop your comment if it didn’t make this list, we’d like to know what it is.
Every grown Nigerian knows about ASUU and their hard-earned reputation. No judgments here; everybody must be known for something. At this point, ASUU or the news of any of their strikes shouldn’t really be news, but because these things affect hundreds of thousands of students, we can’t get that wish.
So what is it this time?
Err, how do we say it? As you may have guessed, it’s about money again. When is it never? So, the Federal Government would like ASUU to come aboard the Integrated Payroll and Personnel Information System (IPPIS) to receive their salaries from the government.
Easy-Peasy, right? Apparently not!
ASUU has kicked against the directive. They have their reasons, though. During a meeting with the Senate on Monday, ASUU National President, Mr Biodun Ogunyemi listed the following as some of the reasons they think the payment system is a “scam.”
The IPPIS lacks constitutional backing; neither is it supported by any Act of the National Assembly.
The system does not capture the remuneration of staff on sabbatical, external examiners, external assessors, and Earned Academic Allowances. It does not address the movement of staff as in the case of visiting, adjunct, part-time, consultancy service, which academics offer across universities in Nigeria.
The system may affect some of the processes involved in promotion exercises, especially the payment of arrears.
The payment system will also inhibit universities from employing staff on short notice because if the system is activated, such staff may not be paid until cleared by the Office of the Accountant General of the Federation.
He may or may not have also said that the IPPIS is a threat to national security.
In summary, their arguments revolve around the fact that the payment system the Federal Government is bent on introducing will make it a pain to get paid for their work. But can’t they sit with the Federal Government and talk like grown-ups? That seems to be a way that works, isn’t it? I don’t know if that has happened or if it will happen, but at the moment, the FG is going through with the October 31 deadline, and ASUU is threatening to go on strike the moment that happens.
Of course, Nigerians have reacted to this on Twitter, and no one seems to understand ASUU’s concerns and no one is standing with them.
President Buhari is paid from IPPIS, as are judges. IPPIS hasn’t fixed their retirement ages at 60 years. The military is on IPPIS. They have allowances and foreign duty. But let’s continue to be held hostage by ASUU and to prioritise political interest over National interest.🙄
Dear ASUU, good morning. I have just spent some time looking through the Universities Miscellaneous Provisions Act 1993 and the amendments thereto in 2003 and 2012. Yes you have autonomy in administration but I have not seen where that includes salary scaling & payment & pensions
— Madam President (rtd) Iyabo Arinola Ifeoma Awokoya (@iyaboawokoya) October 29, 2019
ASUU's rejection of IPPIS should be seen by every Nigerian as the selfishness of a cuddled group acting to protect their own interests to the detriment of everyone else. Autonomy of Universities and national security excuses are all bullshit.
The only thing better than a success story is a success story in the making. That’s the feeling I got when I spent some time with Team Neptune, made up of the nine Nigerian teenagers who won InterswitchSPAK’s inaugural “Innovation Challenge.”
InterswitchSPAK 1.0 Innovation challenge is just one segment of InterswitchSPAK’s National Science competition, organised by Interswitch Foundation.
A while ago, they were just nine students; now, they are nine students creating a solution that could change Nigeria’s health system forever. I know what you’re thinking; how did they get there? Let me take you on a journey that begins with — like everything in school — a written test.
Students from all over the country competed in InterswitchSPAK National qualifying examination.
Finalists were grouped into nine groups of nine students each. The groups were named after some of the known planetary bodies.
Their task was not a simple one. They were asked to find a solution to any notable socio-economic issues in health care, public transportation and education, taking advantage of technology. Each team had some help from staff of Interswitch who volunteered as mentors.
Team Neptune, made up of nine SS2 students, tutored by Interswitch’s Princess Edo-Osagie, Inalegwu Alogwu and Abiodun Adebisi, won the challenge.
Their innovative solution permits anyone who’s registered on the NHIS to consult doctors via the internet, or USSD (for those without internet access). Like the superheroes that they are, the students also dreamed up a system that allows the patients, after consulting ‘internet doctors’, to get drugs from partner pharmacies using the doctor’s prescription.
Sweet, right?
According to the judges, Team Neptune ticked all the right boxes.
The two major criteria in choosing the winners were ideas and presentation.
The jury considered the use of technology, what opportunities were explored, whether the idea was possible and how much change it would bring.
For the presentation, the jury considered the delivery, creativity and demonstration of teamwork.
Team Neptune worked for it and they got it. They won the founder’s prize. Since then, they’ve been lowkey working, with help from Interswitch.
Interswitch is keen on making Team Neptune’s solution a reality. Here’s what they did; the students were brought into the company and tutored for weeks by no other than the Interswitch head of innovation, Eghosa Ojo.
In those few weeks, they’ve built their health solution into a business, while also learning invaluable teamwork, strategy and planning skills.
According to Israel, who is Team Neptune’s de-facto CEO, the entire experience was great. He said, “I think the most important thing we’ve learned here is how to work as a team, how to combine ideas and approaches to create something strong and valuable. We’ve also had the privilege of being tutored by someone who has years of experience and is very patient and willing to pass on knowledge”
Team Neptune has now presented their business to the senior management team at Interswitch, and we can’t wait to see how far this goes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If anyone tells you how your health insurance package now lets you consult a doctor via the internet and buy prescribed drugs, you know who made it happen. Nine Nigerian teenagers will have made that happen and we have Interswitch to thank for it.
Class representatives are important to lecturers and students. For the lecturers, this role and the person taking it solves most of the problem associated with managing the sheer number of people taking their courses. For the students, they could really use someone to submit their assignments and take the fall for anything that happens.
It might seem like a good gig to you, and it is – but as they say, it is not a bed of rose. If you currently take this post or have taken it, you will understand this:
Most of the contacts on your phone are not your friends
You become a property everybody owns the moment you take the class rep post. This means you need to have everyone’s number to add them to the WhatsApp group. it may not seem like a big deal at first, but it hits when you need some help and you realise that 80 % of the numbers on your phone are people you don’t really have a relationship with.
When everyone treats you like you’re the enemy
You are the errand boy – the messenger – but when the lecturer do some shit like giving an impromptu test or bringing the assignment deadline up to a closer date, everybody turns their anger on you like you had anything to do with it. Sucks.
When you realise that the lecturer thinks you are available at all time
You have to deal with your class, but you also have to deal with the lecturer, and that includes having to be at their beck and call. You are on a service to humanity level, so you can’t escape this.
The accusations (sometimes abuse) you get when someone didn’t get an information
Do university students like to have someone to blame? And you are an easy target. So, you get all the blame when a member of your class doesn’t get a memo. It doesn’t that matter that you passed the message across all the channels the class uses.
You wish your phone would stop blowing up
The life of a class rep is chaotic at best. Your phone has to be on at all times, and the frequent buzz is enough to make anyone run mad. But you can’t. You have a job to do.
You still have to study for exams like everyone else
Everyone in your department might know you, but that is not enough to pass you. You still gotta get down to studying. And this is a big challenge because you hardly get the time to do this.
Honourable senators breaking into fights on TV? Routine.
The president announcing that he’s journeying abroad for healthcare inaccessible to the regular guy on the street? Irritated, but not surprised.
But every time word gets out, of a policeman assaulting a citizen for using an iPhone, or sporting dreadlocks or moving about with a laptop, there is no amount of victims, no amount of tweet threads and no amount of repetition that would ever make it seem normal place.
Recently, a software developer and twitter user – @toniastro_ narrated his ordeal at the hands of alleged SARS operatives around Ketu in Lagos State.
So yeah 😪, SARZ messed up my Saturday and I get to be locked up because I’m a software developer. A thread.
In the thread that has been shared over 11,000 times, Toni narrated how members of Nigeria’s Police Force demanded he alight from a bike transporting him to get a BRT home, before demanding he pay the ridiculous sum of one million naira to members of the force.
His pleas that he be released, as he was only a software developer working for a company fell on ears made deaf with guilt. To the policemen, “everything na yahoo-yahoo’, just going to show how detached Nigerian policemen are from the realities of changing vocational systems.
He was taken to the Area H Police Command in Ogudu where he was subjected to all manner of physical abuse for hours before being made to part with an undisclosed amount of money that could have been at least half the amount in his account.
This story is not unlike the hundreds or even thousands of others that have no doubt happened in the course of this year alone, but nothing can take away from the horror each new event brings.
Perhaps what’s most frightening about these occurrences isn’t simply the fact that your mere existence, whether or not you’re sporting dreads, or tattoos or an iPhone could make you a potential target, but the fact that the one body of people, the same ones reports of assaults should ideally be tabled, are the sole harbringers of harm.
In the aftermath of Toni’s attack, the #StopRobbing Us movement has been borne, an offshoot of the #EndSars movement which Nigerian youth have been campaigning for, for at least two years.
This movement is largely supported by members of Nigeria’s tech scene, with big players like IrokoTV CEO – Jason Njoku, pledging ₦10 million to the cause. Whether or not the renewed vim will finally bring an end to this Nigerian scourge remains to be seen, we can only hope that until then, these uniformed marauders #StopRobbingUs until then.
Thinking you can get an A in his course when you know fully well: “A is for the gods.”
If you never had a lecturer tell you, you couldn’t get an A in his course, you definitely needed a visa to get to your Uni.
When a student on a 4.5 CGPA in his final year and semester, dares to dream he can finish with a first class.
We don’t do that in Nigerian Unis, please dear.
Suggesting to a lecturer that has been using the same handwritten notes from 1988, to update his notes or send lectures via email.
What exactly do you think you’re doing?
When students try to ask for area of concentration, after the lecturer has broken the scheme into 22 topics and 250 pages of notes.
“So I haven’t made work easy enough for you?”
When they say a hand out they’re selling is not by force to buy, and no student actually buys it.
“Like these students actually don’t want to graduate sha”
If the class is too full and rowdy for his liking.
I lost count of how many lecturers walked out of class because students were too busy being students for their liking.
When the class isn’t as full or as rowdy as he would like.
That’s when you’ll hear: “tear a sheet of paper, if your friends like; they shouldn’t come back to class”.
When you dare to think it’s his class you’ll be attending with that big afro on your head.
When you know fully well Nigerian lecturers and afros are sworn enemies.
Attempting to ask a question while class is going on.
How dare you ask questions, when they’re trying to teach you what they probably don’t know like that.
Not asking questions while class is going on.
See, with Nigerian lecturers, you can’t win.
When girls attend classes wearing sleeveless shirts.
“How dare you expose your moisturised elbows and shoulders in this class with no AC or fan?” What a wow.
And let’s not forget the biggest sin for female students. When your lecturer wants you and you think you can do something about it.
But every day for the thief, one day for the owner. If you see Richard Akindele, the OAU lecturer that tried this nonsense, help us ask him how unemployment is looking.
This person that invites their entire extended family plus ancestors and somehow, they all turn up!
2. The person that has decided to break the world record for most pictures taken.
We get that it’s a special occasion and you need to make memories but are the approximately 8000 pictures you’ve taken in the last 30 minutes not enough?? Ah Ahn! Kilode?!
3. The person that has come to slay.
That person that is determined to slay on their last day. The fact that most of their outfit will be hidden under the graduation gown will not stop them from pulling out all the stops with their dress/suit.
4. The person that will just be crying anyhow.
This person will just start crying every 5 minutes because they’ve seen a dear friend that they’re going to miss. CALM THE HELL DOWN! It’s not like we’re dying. You can still see anybody you want after today.
5. The person that is definitely hungover.
This is that person that decided to celebrate their last night as a student by getting shit faced drunk, completely forgetting that they had plans to attend their convocation ceremony the next day. They’ll still show up tho, wearing dark shades, walking in slow motion and not speaking.
6. The person that doesn’t even show up at all.
Loool. This person never even cared about school and classes. You really think they’ll give a damn about convocation?
Check out all the things you stand to benefit when you move over to Etisalat’s EasyCliq 2.0. Click here or on the ‘Learn More’ button below to find out more about EasyCliq 2.0!
A number of people who are studying accounting are either there by choice, or because their parents are accountants so you can’t be a prodigal child. Every accounting student has been in one or all of these situations.
When you get admission into the university and you made it into the accounting department
And your first two months are as easy as ABC so you think life is a bed of roses
First semester exams show up and you get all A’s and you believe you will be the next Accountant General of Nigeria
Your second year starts and things start having k-leg
Your balance sheets start refusing to balance
And the number of accounts you have to prepare are now six per question
Income statements, adjusted trial balance, journal entries, balance sheet, profit and loss, cash flow accounts…
As if that is not enough cost and Financial Accounting and Case Analysis start bringing up their head on your course list
And then Taxation becomes advanced and Auditing and Assurance starts looking like hell
Taxation Y U become advanced? People, Y U have to do fraud and give us errors to find?
And then you start seeing letters and greek symbols in your textbooks in Financial Management
What is a beta? What is ‘r’ doing here? What is this funny looking ‘E’ what is all this Lord?
To make matters worse you are told you need to start getting ready to start ICAN lessons
God what is all this? Who invented accounting?
Every weekend from 9AM to 9PM
Is this ICAN lesson or prison in disguise?
So you have no social life, no sleeping pattern, wonder if life’s worth living and are about to give up
Somebody can’t even go to Quilox or go and buy Suya and relax.
So you start to reconsider all your life choices and if it is too late to change your course
Is all this worth it? Mass Communication wouldn’t have stressed me like this…
But you remember your parents, uncles, and even your pastor is an accountant and you can’t be the black sheep
Before they say I want to bring shame to the family.
So you just have to carry your cross and die with it
I’m not the first, I wouldn’t be the last.
ICAN exams come and you are tired of life and reading and just want the world to end
Can Jesus like come back today or the apocalypse happen?
Then the results come out and you passed everything
FINALLY!! ITS ALL OVER!!
Now you can add “ACA” to your name and start carrying shoulders
Not every time complain about how difficult chemistry or any other subject is, it’s not always rocket science.
Sometimes, comparing some scientific terms to real-life people or situations can be an easy way to answer these questions. Oya, thank us for this life hack.
This student was asked to define electro-negativity in a question that carried 5 extra marks.
And instead of simply defining the exact thing the teacher taught, the student added jara just to show how much the concept was understood.
“Yes, I’m getting this 5pts! To properly articulate what electronegativity is, I would like to draw your attention to Trey Songz a.k.a Mr Steal your gurl. You see Trey has no chill, he’s a killer, a savage. He steals other men’s girls without any remorse. Electronegativity is a concept with a lot of Trey like behaviour. It’s the ability for an atom to take another atom’s electron with Flourine being the OG Trey Songz because it has the highest electronegativity of all the elements, straight stealing them.
That’s an A+ answer Ms Chery.”
For those of you wondering who Mr Steal Your Girl is…
And with this amount of buffness (and very little singing prowess), this man goes forth snatching people’s girlfriends up and down.
Points for creativity!!! This students scored all of the 5 points with this answer.
If this student were Nigerian, the story may turn out differently though. How dare you answer a question this creatively?
Only bad Nigerian children know how Trey Songz steals girls instead of cramming every single word in their notes.
[zkk_poll post=22973 poll=content_block_standard_format_6]
1. When you made the decision to study engineering because you wanted to build things that would change the world.
Remember how happy you were?
2. Or your parents made it for you, because it was either engineering or medicine.
The horror!
3. When you get to university and see how hard it is to get into an engineering course.
But you got in, so you feel great!
4. When you realize that the class is 97% male.
But you’re a girl! #Winning
5. When you start registering for courses and you see the ridiculously long list.
Wait, what?
6. When classes start and the lecturers all seem to be speaking Greek.
Edakun, what is Fourier and Laplace?
7. Then you realize that your Math no longer actually involved numbers, just bloody letters.
This was not the plan!
8. When your lecturer begins your first lecture of the year by showing you a pie chart of those who carried over.
I. Will. Not. Cry.
9. And most 3 or 4 unit courses seem to be taught by demon professors.
These ones want to kill me.
10. When your friends complain about their ‘many’ 10 courses while you have 16.
Don’t annoy me.
11. When you do assignments over night and finish 20 minutes before classes start.
No, no, I’m not sleeping.
12. When you actually start your assignment 20 minutes to the due time.
Gosh!
13. And you have classes from 8am to 8pm, so no food places are open by the time you’re done.
I’m one with the hunger.
14. When you finally have a free period and a lecturer fixes an extra class in it.
My God will fight for me.
16. When you hear someone saying they like the course that single-handedly destroyed your social life, self-esteem, and GPA.
Is this one mad?
17. When your class size just keeps reducing till you have less than half of the students you started the course with.
Engineering = The purge.
18. So you start contemplating changing course.
But you stop, because parents.
19. When tests results came back and the entire class failed.
You’ve never felt more together than at this time.
20. When the lecturer has covered 1500 pages of lecture notes and you ask him for AOC and he says ‘EVERYTHING’.
HAY GOD!
21. When the ‘Control Systems’ lecturer thinks that you actually understood what he was teaching.
Look at this one.
22. When you hear about a revision or tutorial class.
Yassss!
23. Then it’s exam time, and you cannot even eat or sleep.
Sleep and food are for the weak – and non-engineering students.
24. But you can calculate what you need to get to pass.
F is 40, let’s start from there.
25. When you enter the exam hall and the questions ask you about material you haven’t learned yet.
Where’s my handkerchief that the pastor blessed? *wipes answer sheet*
26. That impending sense of doom when you realize that each of the three questions on your exam sheet set has multiple, lettered parts to it, all compulsory.
And it’s a 3-Unit course.
27. Overall, this is you during exams.
I’m not mad.
28. When you hear that results are out but you don’t move, because you already know what you got.
I calculated it, please.
29. When your parents ask you to explain your results.
It is not my fault.
30. Then you realize that engineering wasn’t really your calling, but you’re stuck for 5 years.
And time does NOT go fast.
31. When your 4-year course counterparts are graduating and you’re just going for IT.
It’s okay. It’s fine. I’m okay.
32. When the lecturers actually expect you to make your final year project by yourself.
LOL! What did you teach me?
33. You can count the number of first class students in your whole department on one hand.
But your parents don’t want to hear.
34. When all of your family and friends suddenly require your help on household repairs or math. Because engineer.
You know that’s not how it works right? Well, at least, not in Nigeria.
35. When someone else in your family wants to go study engineering.
