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If there is one thing a Nigerian woman will never do, it is to willingly spend her money on a man. But don’t worry, we have finally cracked the code to getting Nigerian women to open their purse.
Just do everything on this list, and you will be swimming in money before the end of the year.
1. Spend on her first.
You must first invest before you can get returns on your investment. Just make sure you choose the right investment plan sha so your money doesn’t vanish.
2. Give her orgasms.
Once you are able to provide this basic benefit, it won’t be difficult for a Nigerian woman to open her purse. Yes, there are some women who will not spend a dime on you even if you give them fifteen orgasms in a five-minute genital bumping session, but don’t let that deter you.
3. When she asks you to “do it just like that” during sex, don’t overdo.
Whatever you are doing, just keep doing it in that same measure and rhythm. Don’t attempt to increase pace or overdo because you have been complimented or you will fuck up your bag.
4. Date someone else.
Nigerian women are not moved to do anything for a man until competition enters it. That is when you will see them struggling to win your heart, especially if they know you are gifted with the extraordinary ability to provide orgasms.
5. Allow her to bite you.
Women love a man who allows them to fulfil their cannibalistic tendencies. When she bites you once or twice, pretend you are sick and watch her spend her last card on you. Relax and enjoy it, it’s payday!
6. Buy her ashewo dress.
She probably won’t spend on you, but she will probably agree to get on top and ride, which is something that happens only once in three years. Enjoy it while it lasts.
7. Give her head and don’t bite her clit like shaki.
Once you make the mistake of biting her, you might as well kiss your check goodbye and get ready for the poverty that will bite you.
8. Be a pet dog.
Let’s be honest, unless you are a fluffy pet dog named “Coco” or “Atinuke,” a Nigerian woman won’t even look at you twice. So, my dear friend, better start practising that bark. “Woof, woof!”
9. Be her younger brother.
Even with this, you still have to beg for it. But at least, she will consider the blood tie between you both and send you 2k once in two years.
10. Be PiggyVest.
That’s the only one thing Nigerian women are guaranteed to put their money in. So, you can either convince her to create a savings plan in your name, or you can turn into PiggyVest itself and collect all her earnings.
Whichever way you choose, good luck as you begin your journey to becoming the youngest billionaire as you gather money from a Nigerian woman.
How do you know if your girlfriend is a rich woman? We already did our findings here:
We all know Nigerians like to manage money, but there are people who absolutely HATE spending money. They’ll do anything to avoid opening their purses. ANYTHING. Spending other people’s money is their calling. If there’s a promo somewhere, they are there.
Always asking for giveaway
They’ve turned on notifications to Don Jazzy’s tweets. You can surely find their account number under any giveaway post. I’m not mentioning any names o.
Always looking for promo code
You’ll find them easily on your Whatsapp with “Does anyone have uber/bolt promo code? Urgent pls.” Because they are always in a hurry not to spend their money.
Always pricing things in the supermarket
Don’t be taken aback when you get to the checkout and you see them asking if 750 for Dano milk is the last price because they bought it in Balogun market for 730 yesterday.
Knows where all the cheap things are sold
You have to give it to them; they make the best plugs if you need to find the cheapest things. Cars, phone, clothes, they have a plug.
Been using the same phone forever
I mean, they hate spending. Of course they are not going to change a perfectly working phone.
If you are anything like us and you lack self-control and home training then your June salary has probably finished and you are currently going through these struggles with us.
They just paid salary last week but your account balance is confusing you.
Wait but did someone rob me?
This is you trying to calculate how you are going to feed for the month of July after looking at your account balance.
This is the perfect month to start 30 days dry fast.
You start thinking back to how you were flexing like there was no tomorrow during salary week.
Yours is now a case of had I known.
As you are trying to calculate how you’ll find money to pay your NEPA bill one family member calls you to remind you to send something for the month.
It’s a little too late for that.
You start to notice that any small thing suddenly makes you unnecessarily angry.
Your colleague will tell you good morning and you’ll ask them what’s good about the morning.
You start counting down again to salary week and wonder why the days are going by so slow.
Time moves slower when you are broke – Albert Einstein
Your taste in things will suddenly drop. You’ll start buying puff puff instead of pancakes.
You’ll start to realize that you actually like cooking and you don’t even like eating out like that. Who knew.
You’ll suddenly remember all the people that are owing you money and start hitting them up.
It’s time to collect your money back from that your colleague that needed 200 naira change for bus. Abi did he think it was dash?
You’ll start appreciating the little things like the fact there’s water dispenser in your office or your parents live an hour away so you can go and beg for food.
Isn’t the Lord good?
You also start to seriously rethink your priorities in life.
Do you really need to pay for internet this month? Shebi office WiFi is there?
Long story short, July is about to be a very difficult month but we are here to tell you that last last you won’t sha die before they pay your July salary.
