Soft life means excess enjoyment and this quiz knows if it will fit you or not.
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If you’re a Gen Z, premium enjoyment is most likely your first, second, and third priority. Apart from that, nothing else really concerns you. So, here’s everything you need to truly settle into that soft life.
First, you need to have zero tolerance for stress
If you think you can still manage with a little inconvenience here or there, then you’re not ready yet. You’re still catching feelings for the struggle life. But if you don’t like a single bit of stress, then here’s what you need to do.
Have money
You can’t be saying no to stress without having plenty of money to speak for you. If you want to taste the soft life while broke, you will see pepper.
Or have rich parents
Your life will be even easier if your parents are wealthy. But you still need to have your own money because they might not approve of the extent of your enjoyment.
Have a second passport
You need to stay guided with your second passport, preferably from a country that uses +44 or +91. Because Nigeria will stress you so much, you’ll need to take trips to cool your head off.
Have constant light
“Up NEPA” cannot be your portion if you’re planning to enjoy yourself as a Gen Z. If you don’t have light for at least 20 hours a day, how exactly is your life soft?
Your drip needs to scream “luxury”
You need to make a statement with your dress. You can’t be planning for enjoyment and wearing clothes that’ll make your estate security stop you at the gate . Your wardrobe needs to fall in line with your plans.
Make sure to add a pair of crocs
You can trust me because I’m Gen Z. This is the maggi that brings together the school uniform for Gen Zs that are enjoying the soft life. Will you start wearing it everywhere you go and look like a homeless person sometimes? Yes. Will it be worth it? Also yes.
Try out new restaurants every weekend
A bit of ambience and variety are what you’re going for here. You can sample a Chinese restaurant this week and visit a roadside buka the next weekend, just to confuse your enemies.
Make your Instagram lit
Document the life of leisure that you’re living with full doses of inspirational captions: Iskelebetiolebebebee — nobody knows what it means, but it gets the people going.
The intensity of your enjoyment needs to be felt everywhere please, both offline and online.
Have fast internet
We don’t need to say much about this one. You know half of your life is going to be on the internet, so don’t make the mistake of having a slow internet connection because your life will be hard for no reason. Pick a good service provider and save yourself any stress.
Use Paga to handle your money
You need to use Paga because you’re not a maga, and you can’t have your money giving you an attitude when you’re trying to spend it. If fast payments, better cards experience and total freedom with your money sound good to you, then you definitely want to use it to handle your money. Start your journey here.
NEXT READ: People, This Is What Soft Life Actually Means
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You don’t have baller money to flaunt, but you’re tired of the mechanic life, these tips will help you live your dream while staying within your budget.
It’s all in the mind
Yes, we’re starting with a motivational speech. First of all, if you can dream it, you can achieve it. Look in the mirror, place your hand on your chest, and say out loud: “I am a baller!”
Make your budget
Who’re you kidding? You’re obviously not a baller yet but you’ve just passed stage one. Next, you need to draft out a budget so your baller lifestyle doesn’t carry you where you don’t know. These things cost money, you know.
Dress the part
This is where you’ll need to get creative. Put on a choirmaster’s suit and combine it with the shoes you only reserve for the special Singles Connect service in church. Your drip may not be 100% but you’ll please God as you ball.
Go to nice restauants…
…And buy the cheapest thing on the menu.. You’re working with a budget, remember? Don’t go and bite more than you can chew o. You’ll wash plates.
RELATED: The Zikoko Guide to Becoming a Baller
Take some lit pictures
It’s all about perception. Deep down, you know you’re a mechanic. But the rest of the world can’t know that. You need to take awesome pictures for the internet so everyone buys into your baller narrative.
Hang around rich people
You might actually increase your chances of becoming a proper baller by hanging around rich people. But if you don’t, at least you’ll look the part when you take those lit pictures for October dump.
Don’t lose focus
The last thing you need is to be distracted. You don’t want to lose focus and start spending beyond your budget to maintain your baller status. If inflation starts making it too expensive, go back to being a mechanic.
QUIZ: Are You a Baller or a Mechanic?
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Before today, I’d have argued with anyone who told me they didn’t understand the meaning of the term “soft life” because it’s literally in the name.
But alas, I found this on Twitter streets, and it turns out not everyone really knows what it means.
So, this article is just evidence of me doing the Lord’s work. You’re welcome.
Soft life originated in Nigeria
It’s not my business if you disagree. Nigerian pidgin speakers have used “soft” to describe enjoyment since they started crawling, and the “soft life” term gained popularity among the Nigerian influencer community in recent years.
It means enjoyment
Soft life is slang for living a life of comfort and zero stress — one where sapa and village people don’t exist.
It isn’t just about having money
Especially if said money only comes after spending the whole day Lagosing. Did you read the part where I said “zero stress”?
Soft life is the Nigerian dream
In a country that’ll always find different ways to stress you, soft life is the dream. We all want it so much, Lady Donli had to release a whole song about it.
Soft life is not ashawo work
If you think anyone who uses this term is referring to “doing runs” or must be a sugar baby, stop it, please. Let’s not be unfortunate.
In conclusion
To live a soft life is to live a life of ease and money. Everything is better with money. How you want to get that life is entirely up to you.
READ THIS NEXT: Zikoko’s Guide to Chopping Life in Your 20s
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It’s 2022 AD, and some people still believe Nigerian women aren’t working as hard as they should.
We literally have female athlete champions, bank CEOs, the legend that is Chimamanda, and actual Nigerian women who live in Nigeria — which anyone will tell you is an extreme sport — but every other market day on Nigerian Twitter, another argument springs up about how women these days are different or aren’t as “hardworking” as our mothers in years past.
Our mothers in times past, unprovoked.
Honestly, I once bought into the “hard work” school of thought. I believed, as a woman, I needed to work extra hard to prove to society that I wasn’t some babe who lived on girlfriend allowances or went on dates expecting men to pay for me.
I wanted to be an independent woman, who didn’t need no man. So, I put my head down and worked like my life depended on it. Unfortunately, capitalism doesn’t always care how hard you work. Capitalism only cares about working people to the bone and getting enough profit to keep its wheels running. And with adulting hovering like a weapon fashioned against me, I essentially lived every day counting down to payday.
But I’m happy to announce that I’ve seen the light. I still don’t need no man, but my days of thinking I have to work like a low-budget jackass are long over. This year, I want to live the soft life.
I know I speak for both men and women when I say I want to make money that doesn’t finish the moment I step outside, and someone asks, “Savings or Current?”
The kind of life where I don’t have to put on my best Nigerian mother impression when I go to the market, so the traders don’t bleed my account dry. The kind of life where I can tell my boss to take a hike if I like — well, not exactly like that, but you get what I mean.
I know I speak for both men and women when I say I want to make money that doesn’t finish the moment I step outside, and someone asks, “Savings or Current?” I want to make sure those girls’ trips finally leave the group chat and actually happen. I want to make enough to keep money for my old age, so I don’t have to depend on my children. I want to live the soft life this year, and it has to be this year.
My soft life ambition didn’t just start; I also tried to manifest it in 2022, but sapa said, “LMAO”. I’ll admit that my methods weren’t exactly the best. I started by investing almost all my life savings in crypto, and it looked good for a while, till crypto winter came and, well, you get the gist.
I also tried locking cash in some of these digital finance apps, but it turns out turning back on your digital savings goals is much easier than breaking physical kolos. In summary, 2022 wasn’t my soft life year.
But 2023? It’s me and the god of money. I’ve heard investments are a much better financial option, and though I kinda feel like only rich people invest, I found something that may help me cut my proverbial cloth according to my material.
Apparently, Stanbic IBTC Asset Management has this thing where you can choose to invest in mutual funds from ₦5,000, and start building your wealth from there. This already sounds good to me, because hello? ₦5,000?
Here’s how it works: Their mutual funds are invested in either equity (stocks), fixed-income securities or a mix of both — depending on what you’re investing for, and your risk appetite. In the words of my Nigerian mother, “One way doesn’t lead to the market”.
I’ll very much NOT like to end 2023 singing the same “sapa” song, so let’s see what mutual funds offer. You can join me by starting your wealth journey here or checking their website for more information on Mutual Funds or other digital assets.
To a soft life in 2023!
