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Sneaky link | Zikoko!
  • 7 Things You Should Start Doing for Your Sneaky Link

    There are three types of romantic relationships: the ones you yell about from the rooftops, the ones only a select few know about, and the ones even the DSS can’t get you to talk about. While the dynamics of these relationships are different, each of them require care and affection, including the ones you sneak around with. 

    Here are some ways to show your sneaky link that even though no one knows about them, you’re grateful for their services.

    Feed them

    We’re not saying get a mortar and pestle and pound yam for your sneaky link at two in the morning. But you can turn semo for them — although we don’t think you should be having sex with a semo-eater — or buy them a meal. The bottom line is, if they’re hungry and you can feed them, you should.

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    Drive them around 

    As long as they’re willing and ready to buy you fuel, then by all means, hop into your car and give them a lift. If they can ride you and take you there, you can get them to their own destination.

    Be a shoulder to cry on

    Please, let them talk to you. Let them rant about all the ridiculous things that have happened in their day. And if it ends with them crying into the hickey they left on your shoulder, then so be it.

    READ: How to Sneaky Link Your Way Into a Relationship

    Help with their work

    If your sneaky link has to do a million and one things for corporate Nigeria before they can have the time for you, we think it’s only wise to simply help them take some load off their plate. This way, they can get to your needs faster, so win-win.

    Check in on them

    You deserve to know if your sneaky link is even in good enough health to sneak around with you. We’re not saying text them every five hours, but a check-in once every two weeks won’t be a bad idea.

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    Gift them

    Buy them random things you think they’ll like. As long as you’re not spending a small fortune, then you’re fine.

    Make the sex worthwhile

    You both have designated times for your genital meet-and-greet. All of the above would mean nothing if they leave without optimal satisfaction.

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  • How to Sneaky Link Your Way Into a Relationship

    You can get into a relationship in numerous way. Some people start from the DMs, some with a situationship; others move from zero to a hundred and catch feelings for their sneaky link.

    Today, we’ll teach you fake hard guys how to move from sneaking around to making that relationship official.

    Send them funny videos

    We can only hope you speak often if you’ve caught feelings for this person. If not, start with a funny video or two. Just make them laugh their way into a relationship with you.

    Move into their house small small

    A toothbrush here, a comb there, that black shirt you can’t live without, nothing too obvious. Move your things into their house and see if they notice.

    Invite yourself out with them

    They can’t stay at home 24/7. If they let it slip that they need to be somewhere, pack your bag and shoes and volunteer as tribute. Just do by force gum body. Hopefully, people see you together and do 2+2.

    Subtweet them

    If they don’t have a social media account, make them open one.  Post about them and what they do for you. Just be loud and clear on the internet. Fingers crossed, they see the signs.

    Become a member of their social circle

    Ask around. You might know someone who knows someone who goes to the same gym as your sneaky link. Start from there and work your way in.

    Make them catch feelings

    Why confess when they could do the confessing? It’s called strategic positioning. Be yourself and hope to whatever you believe in that your best is what’s best for them. If not, sorry for you and your feelings 

    Make them soft launch you

    This is the final stage. We don’t know how you want to do it, but make them post a picture of you. Maybe the back of your head, or the inside of your elbow. They could even post two sets of cutlery, as long as they make it clear to the people of the world that there’s someone in their life.

    RECOMMENDED: Soft Launching Your Partner AKA Village People Prevention