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single people in nigeria | Zikoko!
  • 8 Things You Gain from Being Single

    Everyone thinks single people are suffering. Every time, they are asked to show their partners, as if there is no value to staying single. For those who want to know, here are 8 things you gain from being single:

    1. You get to chop your money by yourself.

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    It’s just you, spending on yourself with no man or woman coming to drag it with you.

    2. No one steals your clothes.

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    You can rest assured that your hoodies and cute t-shirts will remain just where you kept them.

    3. No one disturbs your sleep.

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    You don’t have to wait for one person to sleep off before you sleep too. You sleep whenever you want and wake up whenever you want.

    4. No one steals your food.

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    Whenever you go to a restaurant, you don’t have to worry about someone eating from your plate. You are your own competition, dear. Enjoy it.


    5. You can sleep with the whole world.

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    And there will be no one to hold you back.

    6. You don’t have to fight anybody for pressing the toothpaste from the middle.

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    Unless you do it, so you have to fight yourself.

    7. You don’t have to buy two pieces of anything.

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    Because it’s just you and you alone. Except you want the two items for yourself, sha.

    8. And last but not least, your orgasm is assured.

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    You yourself will have to bring yourself to the pleasure land. And if you last one minute or thirty seconds, nobody is going to hold you or tweet about you. So, why no choose singleness today?

    If you are in a relationship, this one is for you:

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    Thank us later.

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  • 7 Best Responses To The Annoying Question “Why Are You Single?”

    “Why are you single” seems to be the new million dollar question for busy bodies and lifestyle detectives in Nigeria. Because silly questions deserve equally silly answers we’ve coined 5 bomb responses you can easily reach for the next time anybody asks you.

    Why are you single? – Because nobody is worthy.

    Yasssss, there’s a geng named “too fab for commitment” and I hold chair lady position so go figure.

    Jesus is the only man for me.

    Jesus is the only man I need. And I hope you know he sacrificed his life for me so our bond is pretty tight.

    I am actually waiting in line for your boo. So let me know when it’s over.

    This is for the people in relationships who keep badgering you about your single status. This response will put an end to their badgering and most likely your friendship with them too. Which would probably be a good deal.

    Oops, nobody told me it was against the law to be single.

    People be acting like staying single is a known way to break the law. Well i’m single so sue me.

    Why are you so obsessed with me? Don’t you have a life to live? What’s the obsession with mine about?

    For the nosy people who have a trouble with minding their own business.

    My soulmate is still stuck in traffic somewhere in the world. I was even planning on borrowing yours while i wait.

    I actually ordered for a boyfriend but the package is still in quarantine. Which store did you get yours from?

    Since silly questions are now the order of the day.

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