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sexual violence | Zikoko!
  • A Timeline of Silence: Why Does Sexual Violence Have Little Consequence?

    A Timeline of Silence: Why Does Sexual Violence Have Little Consequence?

    TRIGGER WARNING: This opinion piece covers sexual violence and social injustice

    A Timeline of Silence: Why Does Sexual Violence Have Little Consequence?

    Sexual violence against women is rampant. UNICEF says 1 in 4 Nigerian girls are victims before they even turn 18, and the back-to-back #StopRapingUs and #Justicefor- campaigns of 2020 uncovered just how much rape happens with impunity in our society.

    It’s 2023, and UNICAL has re-called a professor to its faculty of law and re-elected him as Dean, despite unresolved allegations, including sexually assaulting a 20-year-old year student in his office on August 29, 2015. The school management suspended Cyril Osim Ndifon in 2015, only to warmly welcome him back to office in 2017, even though he was never exonerated by a court of law.

    Six years later, he has returned to his original position of power.

    RELATED: Cyril Ndifon: The UNICAL Professor Facing Allegations of Sexual Misconduct

    This event pushed us to look into sexual violence allegations of the last two decades, to answer the question of how Nigeria responds to them. As we interrogate where various accused individuals are today, we discover a pattern that may enable such crimes, often letting them go scot-free without the thorough investigation, resolution or consequences they may deserve, and even punishing the accusers.

    2000s to ’10s

    Only a fraction of sex-related crimes make national news or trending lists on socials, and even less lead to convictions or legal acquittal. But when Godwin Okpara, a former professional footballer who was part of the Super Eagles team for the 1998 FIFA World Cup, was charged with raping his 13-year-old adopted daughter in 2005, he and his wife received a 13 and 15-year sentence respectively. 

    He received this sentence in France, as this is often not the case for similar offenders within Nigeria. Since his early release in 2012, he has re-entered Nigerian society, making football commentary in notable media and even criticising younger footballers, his status as a sex offender forgotten or seen as a minor setback rather than the fatal flaw it should be. Some reports of the story even misrepresent his adopted daughter as his maid. 

    He ended up arrested again in Ikeja in 2017, for physically assaulting his wife. The charges were dropped for lack of evidence despite the videos and photos taken by relatives who witnessed the crime. It’s giving us PTSD from the 2023 general elections, but that’s a story for another day. Meanwhile, Tina Okpara — the adopted daughter — will never forget her trauma at the hands of those who were supposed to take care of her.

    Fast forward 12 years, to the set of Big Brother Naija: See Gobbe, and remember how Big Brother kicked Kemen off the show for groping TBoss while she was asleep. While we applaud the BBN organisers for the swift action, it remains curious that law enforcement never took up the case. Surely what Kemen did, and on live television too, is a crime, right? Apparently not, as the general public — including notable figures — went ahead to make jokes about it. Now, he’s everyone’s favourite celebrity trainer.

    Before the concept of sex-for-grades made its Nigerian silver screen debut with Kiki Mordi’s award-winning documentary in 2019, the Nigerian police arrested, OAU professor and Anglican clergyman, Richard Akindele, for soliciting his student, Monica Osagie, in 2018. In 2020, he received three concurrent two-year jail sentences for four counts of sex-related crimes and walked free in 2022. We know OAU sacked him too, but not much else.

    Emmanuel Adooh, a Covenant University student, accused the registrar and alumni association president, Dr Olumuyiwa Oludayo, of having affairs with female students. He was decrying his own expulsion from the faith-based school for having sex with his fellow students when he decided to expose them for being hypocrites. Female students came out on Twitter to support his claims with incriminating voice notes and text screenshots. Covenant University sacked Dr. Oludayo, and today, he is an HR consultant who hosts his own morning motivational show

    Later in 2021, an anonymous account popped up on Instagram. It uncovered members of Covenant University’s faculty who sexually harass students to varying degrees, using screenshots of texts as proof. While it’s not clear if they investigated these claims, the school released a statement saying they’d sacked all involved staff. One particular 41-year-old lecturer allegedly raped a 17-year-old student. Names weren’t provided, so it’s not clear if any of these people ever faced jail time.

    On Twitter in 2019, two women accused furniture businessman, Michael Asiwaju AKA Mike Cash, of raping one of them. In 2015, he allegedly raped a Unilorin student but bribed his way out.

    Source: Guardian Life

    More allegations came out, painting the picture of a serial rapist. Michael’s response? He released nude photos and sex videos of his victims to prove they’d given him consent. The police remained inactive until he allegedly took his own life in a hotel room later in 2019.

    The church, not to be outdone, has its own cases of sex allegations and scandals. In 2019, Busola Dakolo revealed that the popular pastor, Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA church, had raped her when she was 16. This came out after he denied he’d had an extramarital affair with Ese Walter in 2013. Of course, he denied the rape too. Busola received backlash despite the deluge of rape allegations from other women that followed. 

    She later took him to court to force an investigation from the authorities. But the court dismissed the case. The judge described it as “a frivolous suit”, “empty and purely sentimental” and ordered her to pay ₦1 million. 

    We still don’t know if Pastor Fatoyinbo is guilty or not, as the court didn’t even make an inquisition. However, his moral ambiguity hasn’t hindered him from being a spiritual leader to thousands, or the media from writing glowing reports about him.

    Bisola Johnson accused an even more famous religious leader, Prophet TB Joshua, of holding her captive for 14 years. According to her, he regularly molested and raped her and other church members. Before the late prophet passed in 2021, he denied the allegations and discredited Bisola as unstable. 

    His church — the Synagogue Church Of All Nations (SCOAN) — released a video on their now-suspended YouTube channel. In it, Bisola begs for forgiveness for lying against him. According to church members, she always accuses the prophet and then denies it. Bisola spoke out again to say the prophet hypnotised her to make the video. She asserted that she wasn’t unstable and emphasised her stance against him. However, there is no evidence that the authorities ever investigated the case.

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    The 2020s

    As mentioned earlier, 2020 brought forth an onslaught of sex-related allegations. Was it D’banj whose accuser, Seyitan Babatayo, was kept in police custody for two days and threatened with a ₦1.5 billion suit until the case disappeared? He still sat as a judge of the hit singing show, Nigerian Idol, in 2022 and 2023. Or Brymo and Bollylomo, whose numerous accusations were swept under the rug in the classic Nigerian style of casual dismissal? 

    Let’s talk about the Twitter influencer, Comfort “Sansa” Oroboghene, accusing her fellow influencer ex-boyfriend, Tife Fabunmi, of being an abuser, blackmailer and rapist (and releasing her nudes). Tife released a public apology:

    Source: Twitter

    …then turned around to withdraw his apology in 2021, denying the accusations and threatening to take legal action against Sansa, in a since-deleted tweet. His Twitter account has also been deactivated as of the time of publishing.

    The pandemic lockdown was both a health precaution and sex exposé catalyst. But none of the above accused have been investigated. Instead, the accusers were bullied and re-victimised into silence.

    The many survivors of Nollywood actor, Olanrewaju Omiyinka, AKA Baba Ijesha, finally got some justice when he was convicted for sexual assault crimes dating back to 2013. Comedian, Damilola Adekoya, AKA Princess, whose 14-year-old adopted daughter is one of his survivors, reported him to the police in 2021. The next year, Baba Ijesha was sentenced to five years in prison, and the Lagos State Government officially listed him as a sex offender.

    In 2022, Sahara Reporters published a news report about a father accusing an Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP). According to him, Oke Vincent, repeatedly molested his 17-year-old daughter while in custody at a police station in Enugu for five days without charge. The ASP still extorted money from him to secure her release. 

    The ASP ignored the State Criminal Investigation Department (CID)’s invitation and hasn’t been charged for his crimes. It wouldn’t be far-fetched to assume he’s continued on as an officer of the law since there’s no evidence to confirm or deny this.

    The same year, Olugbenga Agboola, CEO and co-founder of Flutterwave, was accused of sexual abuse. Enquiries into the case got lost among more “grievous” financial misconduct — money laundering, insider trading, perjury — and it isn’t clear how it was resolved, if at all. 

    Then, Risevest co-founder and CEO, Eke Urum, was accused of sexual impropriety, among other things. But he was found culpable of everything else but sexual impropriety. While he had to step down as CEO, he’s been given a place on the board of directors.

    We remember 2023 for starting on a rough note with the cash and fuel shortages of January and election palava of February. But before we knew drama was about to ensue, traditional news media focused on celebrity cancer oncologist Dr Femi Olaleye’s sexual abuse case. In September 2022, his wife took him to court for raping her 16-year-old niece for over a year, between 2020 and 2021. Kate Henshaw, a Nollywood veteran actress and one of his biggest former endorsers, has publicly reinforced the allegations against the doctor.

    Dr Olaleye with Kate Henshaw. Source: TVC News

    His response? A no-case submission, asking the court to dismiss the case. This is a man who routinely screens women’s most private areas for breast and cervical cancer. So the public should be relieved he’s been confined to Ikoyi Correctional Centre to await his trial, except he can make his ₦50 million bail.

    He maintains his wife is setting him up, and the last public report of the case dates back to April 2023.

    During Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month in April 2023, the topic of sexual crime and misconduct took over social media once more, but not for positive reasons. Details of Terdoo Bendega’s long history of sexual abuse were all over Twitter, and it seemed to be the perfect time for him to get his reckoning. 

    Between February and March, a female Twitter user shared evidence of how he’s filmed sex tapes without women’s consent, blackmailed and sold nudes since 2012 — over a decade ago. But between one survivor accusing the “whistleblower” of manipulation and the mystery surrounding Mr Terdoo’s current status, it’s not clear whether justice will ever be served. 

    On July 1, Twitter user @ozzyetomi tweeted about a woman who was stalked and harassed by her ex. Seven days later, said ex (TechNation ambassador, Funfere Koroye) attacked the woman in broad daylight, during a private but well-attended event at Rele Gallery, before concerned bystanders fended him off. 

    What followed was the online revelation that the woman had been in a physically abusive relationship with Funfere for two years, followed by two more years of stalking, harassment and threats. At least, three more people have since accused him of other forms of abuse, including rape. 

    The Lagos Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Agency (DSVA) responded to the claims, promising to work with the affected woman to provide support, protection and justice. But there’s been no evidence that Funfere has been invited for questioning by any law enforcement agency so far. 

    Instead, between July 8 and 10, 2023, a female relative was relentlessly bullied on Twitter for not speaking up against the accused.

    It’s great news that minors are likely to get justice for sexual violence committed against them. But it’s disheartening that adult women have faced backlash, high-profile defamation lawsuits and retaliatory police investigations instead of justice. 

    Public response is often: “You want to bring down a successful man”, forgetting that the “success” is what puts such men in the perfect position to abuse women without consequences. The big question is: why is there a notable difference in the way sex crime accusations are treated compared to murder, theft or financial crimes? 

    If you need any form of support related to sexual crimes, read this: How Can Victims of Abuse and Sexual Violence Get Help?

    RECOMMENDED: Everything We Know About Funfere’s History of Violence and Abuse

  • How Can Victims of Abuse and Sexual Violence Get Help?

    How Can Victims of Abuse and Sexual Violence Get Help?

    The news is out. Industrial product designer and ambassador of the Global Talent Visa platform (TechNation), Funfere Koroye, has a history of violence and abuse against women. This raises an important question: “How can victims of abuse and sexual violence obtain justice?”

    When Ozzy Etomi, a gender and culture writer, asked her Twitter followers on July 1, 2023, about organisations that could help victims of stalking, harassment, and battering, not many people had an idea of what was going on. And the responses she got were filled with curiosity about who the stalker was, without many positive responses about which organisations the victim could go to.

    A week later, Etomi revealed the alleged actions of stalking, sexual harassment, and violence by Koroye against his Ex.

    https://twitter.com/account20235767/status/1677697711338840066?s=20

    The news so far has sparked public outrage. It has also gotten the attention of the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (Lagos DSVA), which has promised to work with the Ex to receive support, protection, and justice. 

    Also read: Everything We Know About Funfere’s History of Violence and Abuse

    Sexual harassment, stalking, and physical assault by men are problems that women face. But to understand what to do in these contexts, let’s explain what the Law says.

    Is this a crime, and is it punishable by law?

    Yes, sexual harassment, stalking, and physical assault are crimes. It is punishable under the Violence Against Persons Act of 2015 and the Criminal Code Act of Nigeria 

    For Stalking and Sexual Harassment 

    Under Section 46 of the Violence Against Persons Act, stalking is listed as a type of ‘harrassment.’ 

    Under Section 17 of the same act, a person who stalks another commits an offence and is liable on conviction to a term of imprisonment not exceeding 2 years, a fine not exceeding N500,000, or both.

    Sexual harassment is listed as a form of sexual violence under Section 264 of the 2004 Criminal Code Act. It says that “anyone who sexually harasses another commits a felony that is liable on conviction to imprisonment for three years.”

    For Rape 

    According to Section 359 of the Criminal Code Act of Nigeria, any attempt to commit rape is liable to 14 years imprisonment. 

    Under Section 1 (2) of the 2015 Violence Against Persons Act, the offender will get a life imprisonment sentence if convicted and 14 years imprisonment if the offender is under 14.

    It is worth noting that the 2015 Violence Against Persons Act is yet to be signed into law in Lagos, Ekiti, Kano, Katsina, Taraba, and Zamfara. However, Lagos State has The 2007 Protection Against Domestic Violence Law. Ekiti also has the 2019 Gender Based Violence (Prohibition) Amendment Law in place of the Act.

    You are a victim or know someone who needs help; what can you do? 

    The Executive Secretary of the Lagos DSVA, Tiwalola Rhodes-Adeniyi, told Citizen that victims of these crimes should first be able to “build their case by having evidence.” 

    If you wonder what building your case with evidence looks like, it involves getting hold of and presenting text messages, voice recordings, pictures, or videos. It can also include physical evidence like bruises, wounds, or damaged clothing. 

    This all helps your case and helps you achieve justice. According to Rhodes-Adeniyi, “If a victim has these, one can successfully get an emergency restraining order.”

    Usually, police officers give an emergency restraining order in domestic and sexual violence cases where there is immediate danger or an inability to go to court immediately. These usually last for 5-7 days.

    In cases where the issue of violence wasn’t recent, one can get a temporary restraining order of 7-14 days. You can also get a domestic violence or no-contact restraining order, which is usually issued after court hearings and lasts for a longer period of time depending on the case.

    What if you can’t reach the police? 

    Olivia Ovuodo-Peters, a sexual and gender-based violence expert, shares that one can always follow up with police personnel if they don’t respond quickly.

    According to Ovuodo-Peters, “If you report to the police on duty at the Sexual Base Desk and don’t hear from them, you can write a letter explaining your case to the Divisional Police Officer (DPO),” and if that doesn’t work, you can write to the State’s Commissioner of Police and copy the appropriate DPO. 

    However, not everyone sees going to the police as their first line of action. The Communications Officer at Stand to End Rape (STER), Elfrida Adeleye, recommends that victims should always contact a non-governmental organisation (NGO) when filing these cases. 

    According to Ayodele, these NGOs already have contacts in important governmental ministries such as the Ministry of Justice, and Ministry of Women Affairs. Thus, they can help “push the right buttons to get these cases heard faster. You don’t need to go in alone.” 

    How can social media best help you?

    Rhodes-Adeniyi passionately advocates for the use of social media as a platform to shed light on sexual assault, harassment, and abuse. In her view, it is a powerful tool to “raise public awareness on cases” and support victims who have experienced such atrocities. She firmly believes that victims should have the freedom to speak the truth to power in their own way without being dictated how to do so.

    With genuine concern, Rhodes-Adeniyi asserts, “We shouldn’t tell a victim how to speak truth to power.” She recognises that social media can be instrumental in calling for justice and creating a collective voice against these injustices. However, she cautions that social media alone is “not to make a formal report.”

    Rhodes-Adeniyi insightfully reveals the potential risks faced by victims who do not formally report their cases. She highlights the possibility of the offender filing a lawsuit, accusing the victim of defamation through libel or slander. 

    To reduce this risk, she strongly recommends victims “formally file their case with evidence with the police, an NGO, or a court of law” before resorting to social media. Rhodes-Adeniyi suggests additional steps, such as visiting a hospital to obtain medical documentation if there are visible injuries. She also emphasised that having an “official statement of the case somewhere” is crucial.

    Rhodes-Adeniyi advises victims to safeguard themselves legally by formally reporting these cases. This will ensure their claims are supported by substantial evidence and provide a solid foundation in the event of a legal backlash. 

    By taking these steps, victims can effectively navigate Nigeria’s complex justice system while leveraging social media to shed light on their experiences and rally support for their cause.

    Which organisations can you reach out to for help?

    STER (Stand to End Rape Initiative)

    The Stand to End Rape (STER) initiative is an enterprise advocating against sexual violence, and supporting survivors with psychosocial services. They handle all forms of sexual violence.

    You can reach out to them by filling out this form or sending an email to the team here.

    The Mirabel Centre 

    The Mirabel Centre is Nigeria’s first sexual assault referral centre where survivors can get medical and psychological aid.

    You can call them at 08187243468, 08155770000, or 0701 349 1769. You can also visit them at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, Ikeja General Hospital Road, Ikeja, Lagos.

    Alternatively, you can send an email to sarc@pjnigeria.org

    The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF)

    WARIF is a non-profit organisation. WARIF helps to address high incidence of sexual violence, and rape amongst young women across Nigeria.

    You can contact them at 0809 210 0008 or you can send an email to info@warifng.org

    The Lagos Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA)



    DSVA
    is an organisation under the Lagos State government. They help eradicate domestic and sexual violence in the state.

    You can contact them at 08000333333 or email them at info@lagosdsva.org

    The International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA)

    The International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) Nigeria is a non-governmental, non-profit organisation comprised of women lawyers, formed in 1964. They take pro-bono cases across Nigeria, usually on domestic, sexual, and other related violence against women.

    You can visit their website to find the branch closest to you or call +234 708 849 6115

  • Why We Should Pay More Attention to Child Rape in Nigeria

    Why We Should Pay More Attention to Child Rape in Nigeria

    From victims of revenge porn to young girls having their breasts flattened, Citizen has reported several sexual assault cases over the last few weeks.

    This is important in documenting abuse patterns on women and children in Nigeria.

    Like today’s sad sexual assault case on child rape — only that this time, justice got served. 

    But what happened?

    The ‘Bread and Beans’ rape case 

    Our story started on August 16, 2017. 

    The offender, a 40-year-old man named Kehinde Gabriel, ambushed a 3-year-old girl [whose name has been retracted] in Ibeju-Lekki, Lagos State.

    Gabriel, the victim’s neighbour, lured her to his apartment with an offer of bread, beans and a drink before raping her. According to her mother, the girl came home crying, adding that blood was found in her private parts.

    She said, “She went to the mosque with her other sisters that day. After some minutes of crying, she returned home with a bottle of drink and bread. 

    “I asked her what was wrong, and she said Uncle Kehinde (Gabriel) had given the items to her. She was running a temperature. While her father and I checked her body, we saw blood in her private parts.”

    Gabriel’s response to this was one of denial. He said he had only interacted with the little girl because she “was crying from hunger.”

    He was arrested and later taken to the Ikeja Magistrate Court on August 28, 2017, for trial. According to Police Prosecutor Inspector Simeon Imhonwa, the accused had broken Section 137 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State, 2011.

    What does this Law say?

    According to the Criminal Law of Lagos State, “any person who has sexual intercourse with a child (under 18 years) commits a felony and is liable on conviction to imprisonment for life.”

    How bad is child rape in Nigeria?

    Very bad — and also very disturbing. According to the “Violence Against Children Survey”, a 2014 National Population Commission report, one in four young girls experience sexual violence.

    Sadly, many sex assault cases tend to remain in court without resolution. In March 2022, the Minister of Women’s Affairs, Pauline Tallen, reported 646 cases of sexual violence, with 327 offenders convicted and 327 cases still in court.

    HumAngle also reported in 2022 that only 10 out of 36 states in Nigeria keep sex offender registers. The sex offender register is a database of all convicted sex offenders in a state, with the offender’s address, physical appearance, and criminal history. 

    These cases are not frequently updated. If a sex offender was released from jail, he could commit sexual crimes without getting caught.

    Luckily, justice got served in this case 

    Six years after the incident, the Lagos Sexual and Domestic Violence Court sentenced Kehinde Gabriel to life imprisonment.

    Justice Ramon A. Oshodi presided over this court and found him guilty of the one-count charge of defilement. He described him as “a person of no truth who has no remorse for what he did”.

    How to support child rape victims

    Even though the little girl avenged her rape legally, many rape victims are not lucky and still need your support.

    To support victims of child rape, please contact the Lagos Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency at 08000333333. You can email them – info@lagosdsva.org

    You can visit the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) for national complaints. View their website to find the branch closest to you, or call +234 708 849 6115

  • What to Do When You’re A Victim of Revenge Porn

    What to Do When You’re A Victim of Revenge Porn

    If there were to be a list of “social epidemics” in Nigeria, sexual violence would be at the top. And women always get the brunt of the stick.

    According to a 2022 UNICEF report, “One in three women have experienced physical, sexual or intimate-partner violence; are victims of trafficking, or are subject to violent social norms.” 

    Unfortunately, another viral case of sexual violence is now on the list — but in the form of revenge pornography. 

    But first, we need to know its meaning.

    What is revenge porn?

    According to Section 170b of Nigeria’s Criminal Code Act, someone has committed revenge porn if they “post or enclose an indecent or obscene print, painting, photograph, lithograph, engraving, book, card, or article, or which has on it, or in it, or on its cover, any indecent, obscene, or grossly offensive words, marks, or designs.”

    The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “revealing or sexually explicit images or videos of a person posted on the internet, typically by a former sexual partner, without the subject’s consent and to cause them distress or embarrassment.”

    In simple English, if you post someone’s nude without consent, you’re a criminal in waiting.

    Now that we know the meaning, let’s dig into the issue.

    The Terdoo case 

    Since March 31, allegations of revenge porn between Terdoo Oluwadara Bendega (@lereslvt on Snapchat) and a Twitter user, The Nnma (@TheNnma), has been in conversations.

    According to Nnma, Terdoo—her ex-boyfriend—tried to blackmail her with explicit pictures and videos of herself after they had broken up. This was so Nnma wouldn’t expose his clandestine habit — distributing unclad pictures and videos of women on pornographic channels via Telegram without consent.

    But while Nnma was soliciting justice online, another Twitter user, Blaccnwyt (@blaccnwyt), implied that she may have been an accomplice in his revenge porn act.

    https://twitter.com/blaccnwyt/status/1643354867367288834?s=20

    Terdoo has not received legal action yet. However, the thread has inspired many women who have encountered him intimately to share their stories.

    Are there similar cases of revenge porn?

    Unfortunately, yes.

    In 2019, a sex tape of a 300-level Babcock University student in Nigeria circulated on the Internet. This resulted in her expulsion from the university for the “immoral act.” 

    In 2022, a student known as “Gold” at Akwa Ibom State University had her sex tape released without consent. Afrobeats singer Tiwa Savage was also a victim of revenge porn.

    Recently, popular Twitter user and Yogi, Pelumi “Jellybum” was accused of distributing and selling naked pictures of other women. They were previously her friends.

    What’s the legal punishment for revenge porn?

    According to Section 170b of Nigeria’s Criminal Code, if guilty, the punishment for revenge porn is imprisonment for up to a year upon conviction.

    With Section 24 of the Cybercrime Prohibition and Prevention Act of 2015, the offender would be charged N7 million or three years imprisonment. This is for those:

    1. who knowingly or intentionally send a message or other matter using computer systems or network that is grossly offensive, pornographic or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character or causes any such message or matter to be so sent; or
    2. knows to be false for the purpose of causing annoyance, inconvenience danger, obstruction, insult, injury, criminal intimidation, enmity, hatred, ill will or needless anxiety to another or causes such a message to be sent.

    How can victims gain help and support?

    We understand the psychological trauma that revenge porn brings and the legal steps to take in apprehending offenders. 

    So, if you ever find yourself in this situation and would like to gain legal and psychological help, we’ve created a list of female lawyers and organisations that are only one phone call away:

    The Organisations

    STER (Stand to End Rape Initiative)

    The Stand to End Rape (STER) initiative is a youth-led social enterprise advocating against sexual violence, providing prevention mechanisms and supporting survivors with psychosocial services. They handle all forms of sexual violence.

    You can reach out to them by filling out this form or sending an email to the team here.

    The Mirabel Centre 

    The Mirabel Centre is Nigeria’s first sexual assault referral centre where survivors can get medical and psychological aid.

    You can call them on 08187243468 or 08155770000, or 0701 349 1769. You can also visit them at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, Ikeja General Hospital Road, Ikeja, Lagos.

    Alternatively, you can send an email to sarc@pjnigeria.org

    The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF)

    WARIF is a non-profit organisation incorporated in 2016. It was made in response to the high incidence of sexual violence, rape and human trafficking among young girls and women across Nigeria and Africa.

    You can contact them at 0809 210 0008 or you can send an email to info@warifng.org

    The Lagos Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA)



    This is an organisation under the Lagos State government. They are committed to eradicating domestic and sexual violence in the state.

    You can contact them at 08000333333 or email them – info@lagosdsva.org

    The Lawyers 

    The International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA)

    The International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) Nigeria is a Non-Governmental, Non-Profit Organization comprised of women lawyers formed in 1964. They take pro-bono cases across Nigeria, usually on domestic, sexual and other related violence against women.

    You can visit their website to find the branch closest to you or call +234 708 849 6115

    Rashidat Mohammed 

    Mohammed is a Human Rights Lawyer with a special interest in promoting the rights of women and children. She provides pro-bono legal services for women and girls who have experienced violence in northwest Nigeria. She also represents vulnerable men and families who can’t afford a lawyer and struggle to get justice in the Nigerian legal system. 

    You can visit her law firm, Rashidat Mohammed and Co, at Suite C49 City View Plaza, Diplomat Area, Sokoto.

  • Don Davis’ Sexual Abuse Story: Everything We Know

    Don Davis’ Sexual Abuse Story: Everything We Know

    What happened? 

    On December 20, a video of Mrs Deborah Okezie, mother to Don Davis, an 11-year-old JSS1 student of Deeper Life High School, Uyo, who was sexually molested and starved at school surfaced on the internet. In the video, Mrs Okezie lamented about her son’s status.  “They [senior students] will remove his boxer and push their legs and hands into his anus,” she said. “Look at a child I sent to school,” she adds, “he came back with a broken anus.” 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgQW7GXuum0&feature=youtu.be

    The video gathered attention in the days that followed, leading to a reaction from the school, government intervention, and online protests. 

    What happened at the school

    According to Mrs Okezie, Don Davis was moved from a junior hostel to live with seniors because he was bedwetting. At the new accommodation, he was bullied by the senior students, sexually violated, and his meals taken from him. As to why Don Davis had remained silent, “they said if he complained he will be a dead man,” said Mrs Okezie.

    How did the church react? 

    The Deeper Life Bible Church, owners of the high school involved, have since tweeted on December 21, that they were investigating the issue, and that “appropriate disciplinary action will be meted out to all culprits in this unfortunate act”. 

    According to the mother, however, Don Davis had since been taken to the hospital for medical treatment. On the day he was admitted (Sunday, December 20), Deeper Life board members came kneeling and begging in the hospital. She added that by Monday, December 21, the same day Deeper Life announced their investigation, the church’s representatives were on air alleging that Don Davis came to the school bedridden, saying she was not his mother. 

    The mother did not only refute these but has now circulated pictures of the boy, before and after going to school, while also saying she will go as far as a DNA test to prove she is Don Davis’ mother.  

    Although the college’s principal has been suspended, there has been no concrete update on the church or school’s part on the issue. 

    The government’s role

    The Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Education, Akwa Ibom State, Mrs Helen Anthony Ante, called for a meeting between Don Davis’ parents and parents of the abusers. Don Davis’ mum said they were intimidated at the meeting, which was hosted at the Commissioner for Education’s office. According to Okezie, the commissioner threatened her for doing a live broadcast updating Facebook users about the situation. “They collected my phone from me,” she says. 

    She also mentioned that another parent said they would beat her up in front of the commissioner. 

    Social media support

    Several social media accounts have shown support for the family’s fight towards getting justice for Don Davis. #JusticeForDonDavis is being used to gather attention on the issue, so it does not get swept under the carpet and action can be taken.

    https://twitter.com/BhadmusAkeem/status/1343572654876450818
    https://twitter.com/BhadmusAkeem/status/1343571863717474304

    Have you read this? 5 Nigerians Share What They Love About 2020

  • Sex Life: How Being Abused By My Aunty Affected My Sex Life

    Sex Life: How Being Abused By My Aunty Affected My Sex Life

    Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.


    This story contains distressing information. Reader’s discretion is advised.

    The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 26-year-old woman who waited till marriage to have sex for several reasons which include religion, her size and the fact that she was sexually abused by her aunty for years as a child. 

    Child sexual abuse in Nigeria

    At what age did you start getting curious about sex?

    My introduction to sex was weird. I can’t remember when exactly I became curious about sex, but when I was about seven years old, an aunty they brought from the village to stay with my family started abusing me sexually. She molested me for over seven years. It continued till I was in JSS3. 

    Child sexual abuse in Nigeria
    According to the UN, one in four women is a victim of sexual violence before they’re 18.

    Wow I’m so sorry. 

    That’s not all. When I was 10, I had three almost-rape experiences. The first experience was with my cousin when I went to my grandmother’s. I managed to escape that. The other two were with random people. I clearly remember that one happened when I was walking back from school. The guy cornered me and started to grope me. I calmly told him I was coming, that he should let me drop my stuff at home and I’ll come back to meet him, then I ran.

    There were other experiences. There was a time I was in a bus and the conductor told me that if he had my type at home, he would be sucking my breasts every day. I was 10. 10 for goodness sake. Then there was a time I went to make my hair and a man saw me dozing off. He said, “Is it that uncle did not allow you to sleep at night?” I was so confused. My hairdresser shouted at him, she told him I was only a child. I didn’t understand until I was much older.

    I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this. Did you report any of these to your parents?

    No, I didn’t. With my aunty, I genuinely enjoyed it, so I didn’t really know that it was wrong until much later, after it ended.

    child sex abuse in nigeria

    How did it end? 

    I went to boarding school, so I wasn’t around much. 

    Do you know how this experience affected you?

    It formed who I was for the greater part of my life. For a very long time, I thought I was “lesbian”.

    That’s interesting. Was it just because of your experience with your aunty? 

    No. Throughout the time she was molesting me and even while I was in the university, I was not interested in or attracted to any man, or anyone for that matter. I just assumed I was a lesbian with zero interest in these things. When I knew that that wasn’t the way lesbianism worked, I just assumed that I had a problem.

    It was not until I met the man who is now my husband, shortly after university, that I felt some kind of attraction to the opposite sex; I couldn’t comprehend my feelings for him. The first time I was alone with him, I got really wet. I was scared and literally couldn’t move for one hour. He asked me what was wrong, but I didn’t know how to explain. It was strange and I was terrified. 

    Was he the first person you made out with?

    Yes, he was. I was 22 and I went to his office to visit him. He is much smaller than I am, so he sat on my lap and we made out.

    Why do you think it took you that long to make out with someone?

    Well, a lot of things. First, there was the ‘not being attracted to anyone’ thing. Then there’s the fact that I have always been a big girl. All those lewd comments from men when I was younger? It was because I was big and looked older than I was. And you know the way society treats fat women. It affected me a lot. I didn’t want anyone to see me close-up. So, the first time he took off my clothes, I was like, “Are you sure you want to do this? Because it’s all packaging on the outside.” Then he said, “Are you joking? Do you think I saw you and thought you were skinny?”

    It took me a while to come out of what I felt about my body. 

    So, when did you have sex for the first time? 

    Five days after my wedding.

    Oh wow, why? 

    Because I was really stressed during the wedding and my period came two days to the wedding.

    Why didn’t you have sex before the wedding?  

    I was born in a Christian home. When I was 11, I made up my mind that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone until after my wedding because of something a pastor once said. So for context, my mother got pregnant with me before she and my dad got married. Then one day, a pastor said that God does not ‘see’ children conceived out of wedlock. That messed me up for a very long time because I felt I wasn’t seen by God. 

    After several years, I realised that what the pastor said didn’t make sense on any level. So I decided to base my decision to wait till marriage on my own faith and the fact that I wanted to just have sex with one person for the rest of my life. 

    Wow. Were there no temptations?

    There were oh. My husband and I dated for about three years and it was very difficult, because his top two love languages are physical touch and quality time. He had been in a lot of relationships and had been sexually active since he was like 13.

    So while it was easy for me, it wasn’t easy for him. Before we got married, we pretty much did everything except the actual sexual intercourse. There was even a time at the beginning of our relationship I blocked him, just to avoid him. Haha. But he is also a very understanding person. So we worked through it. 

    What were your expectations about sex before you had sex?

    Before I met him, I had no expectations, because I didn’t plan to have sex or get married. 

    Did this have anything to do with not being attracted to anyone?

    Yes and no. Tbh, I just felt no one really liked me or would like me enough to marry me — being big and all. I thought anyone who liked me would just have sex with me and go. The classic ‘use and dump’. I didn’t want that. So I had plans to be single for the rest of my life. 

    But after I met him, my expectations grew because he had a lot of experience. The expectations were very high, and they were not cut short at all. Sex with my husband is perfect. I haven’t had bad sex with my husband ever. I thoroughly enjoy it. Sometimes, it’s all I can think about. On most days, I have more than 7 orgasms; it’s that great.

    That’s amazing. How long have you been married? 

    Almost six months now. We have sex three to four times a week. People say when you’re married you’ll have all the sex in the world, but the truth is when we get back from work, we are tired most times. If we can’t have penetrative sex, we try to engage in other sexual activities. We have more time on weekends. 

    Do you think a few years down the line, the rhythm of your sex life will change?  

    Probably. Of course things might be different when we start having kids —  at least until we find how to make it work. But we are still learning about each other’s bodies and have even decided to hold off on having children.  

    Right now, we do everything to spice up our sex life. Nothing is off the table. My husband likes risque type situations so we have had sex in his office with other people around, in the car, in several car parks and some other places I can’t even mention. We also plan to incorporate sex toys very soon. It helps that there is no shame or judgement on anyone’s preference(s) between us. 

    After everything you’ve been through, what are your thoughts on sex now?

    There’s a lot of misinformation about what sex is or what it should be. For example, I was very prepared for my first time to be a very painful experience but it was not painful at all; I didn’t even bleed. He took about 30mins to fully penetrate and this made it so much better for me going forward. I have learned to just ignore people because they talk based on their own experiences. I block everybody out and own my own experiences. 

    Given how the sexual abuse you experienced as a child affected you, do you sometimes wish you had said something?

    Yes. I still want to. I have a young sister and I would love for my parents to learn from my experience and pay more attention to her.

    Do you ever regret not experiencing much sexually until you got married?

    No I do not. I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything. I just wish I wasn’t adulting while trying to explore my body sexually because I am constantly exhausted from work and traffic. I heard my 30s would be better sha, so I’m looking forward to that.

    How do you rate your sex life, on a scale of 1-10?

    10/10 definitely. 

    We stan, girl! Get those orgasms.