schools | Zikoko!

I might’ve loved my school uniform as a primary school student, but I can’t entirely say the same for my secondary school.

It was an uninspiring combination of navy blue trousers and a white shirt. Very low effort, and understandably so because no Nigerian government official is thinking fashion when selecting uniforms.

If you read this article where I ranked the uniforms of 15 Nigerian private schools, you’ll understand why this one exists. Let’s see what our good ol’ government schools are up to.

13. Federal Government College, Ilorin

If I have to stare at this uniform as a teacher every day, the government better be writing me a fat check for eye maintenance. And another for dark shades.

12. Government College, Ibadan

Ibadan people might appear in my dreams and hunt me for days, but I’ll say it anyway. This entire combination is giving “correctional facility”. You see it too, right?

11. Abeokuta Grammar School, Ogun

I’m seeing the vest cardigan with yellow stripes again, and it’s successfully distracting me from spotting just how basic this uniform is. But I see it.

10. Mayflower School, Ikene, Ogun

Is it my eyes or they’re actually combining shorts with sleeveless blouses? Okay. I’ll give it to management for trying to tone down the seriousness of the uniform. I’m all for that.

9. Idia College, Benin

Even if you could ignore the annoying collar, you wouldn’t be able to do the same for the odd pink shirt and chequered purple skirt combination. And I won’t judge you for it.

8. Command Schools

Nothing screams “government” more than agriculture green, but you have to give it to the school management for bodying this colour so well. Also, that hat they have going on? I loveeet!

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7. Lagos State Model College, Badore

First of all, green socks should be criminal. When you go the extra mile to throw in a miniature red tie (that you think we wouldn’t notice), you should do naughty corner time. If a doctor finds his way to this school, he’d diagnose half the students with almost-Christmas syndrome. All that red and green probably has them confused.

6. Federal Government College, Ikot Ekpene

I’ve seen some private schools pull their weight with their execution of colour blue, but this is a discovery. As much as I hate to admit, everything works, especially the white socks.

5. Federal Government College, Umuahia

I don’t know if it’s the clean formation or the beret and socks combination, but I’m sold on the ministry of this uniform. They get an extra plus for that little stylish thing going on with the skirt.

4. Baruwa College, Zaria

I love that I’m staring at this uniform, and I’m not immediately thinking students or government school. Don’t they just look like entry-level trainees about to receive your bank deposits? Management needs to complete this uniform with a blazer.

3. Christ’s School, Ado-Ekiti

There’s too much blue going on, but I’ll allow it simply because government school is the last thing that comes to mind looking at this photo. Whoever threw in the rafia-themed hats did a thing.

2. King’s College, Lagos

I don’t know if it’s the way these young men are posing and giving CEO vibes, but this uniform is a serve. It’s the best execution of blazers I’ve seen in a minute — not too baggy and not overflowing to knee level (except for that one boy).

1. Federal Government College, Lagos

Tell me you don’t want to enrol your child in this school, so that they can step out of the house every morning and people will ask “What’s the name of your school, sweety?” Because the uniform is so fire.

You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.

Adeyinka Odutuyo

October 31, 2023

Aluta and Chill

Funny, Nigerian Schools, Nigerians, schools
Every three bathroom breaks, Nigerian universities get dragged through the mud on and offline. But are they spitting facts or just dissing? We joined the conversation to uncover the reasons behind all the hate.

I-can-do-and-undo lecturers

Just pray you don’t get in trouble with a lecturer that thinks they’re next after God. They’ll tell you how they taught medicine to Small Doctor; and find a way to keep you in school for the next ten years.

Sex for grades

Why are there so many lecturers who can’t keep their genitals in their pants?

Damn. I wouldn’t even know what to do next pic.twitter.com/JB61MqDWw1
— Dahlia ♡🌵🌱🌴👼🏾 (@LaFlameGemini) September 15, 2021

Payola champions

Some lecturers must always collect money for books or department projects from students. Their catch phrase is “I’m not forcing you to buy my book, but if you don’t buy this year, you’ll buy next year”.

When will people stop asking if school’s on break?

It’s painful when you finally realise you’re still fighting for a bus at Unilorin car park when your mates from private unis are already complaining about NYSC PPA or entry-level work stress.

Hot babes, come to Ikoyi to get lit with other hot babes at HERtitude 2023 on May 27th. Get your ticket here.

Student union that’s weaker than spiderweb

Other than appearing at department dinners, they’ve no power to implement change. Also, why is a boomer the leader of the National Association of Nigerian Students?

Every year, school fees hike

Money doesn’t grow on trees, but school management wants you to have it when they want it.

Every morning, database is on 404 Error

One school got hacked several times recently. How long will sensitive data go unprotected? Just hire professionals.

Missing exam scripts

Imagine retaking a six-unit course because your exam script is sleeping under one dusty, heavy shelf in the department, and no one could be bothered to find it. How did it get there in the first place? No one knows.

ALSO READ: Just Imagine: If Nigerian Universities had Honest Slogans

Tomide Marv

May 15, 2023

Aluta and Chill, Campus

Nigerian students, Nigerian Universities, schools, students
On November 30, 2022, the Federal Executive Council (FEC) approved a new national language policy. The gist of the policy is Nigerian students from primary one to six must be taught only in their mother tongue.

According to the Minister of Education, Adamu Adamu, the chosen native language will be the dominant one spoken in the community. When the policy is implemented, Nigerian students won’t use the English language until the junior secondary school level.

Who asked for this?

The government is implementing this policy to promote and preserve our culture, as some of it is already lost.

Although this policy appears to be a step in the right direction, Nigeria has over 600 indigenous languages. So, what are the implications of this policy?

It may cause confusion

Nigeria is a diverse country and people, regardless of their tribes or language, settle down in different parts of the country. It’s normal to see Igalas in the West or Igbos in the North. But with this new policy, is an Igala boy in Ogun State supposed to learn Yoruba to understand what he’s being taught? Doesn’t this already put him at a disadvantage despite his abilities?

Students will thrive

Some children, unlike others, speak and understand their native tongue even more than the coloniser’s language. This new policy gives them a chance to shine.

Subjects that have always seemed alien to them will suddenly make more sense, and they can finally feel more comfortable and perform better in their studies.

A headache for the parents

Many Nigerian parents are particular about their children’s spoken English because it’s proof they’re not wasting the school fees. But now, the government is going to turn their world around with this new policy.

They’ll probably have to pay for after-school lessons for their children to understand English before secondary school.

Even more headache for the teachers

As already noted, people of different tribes live and work in other parts of the country, including teachers. So should teachers of other tribes be allowed to teach students with the bits and pieces they know of the community’s language? Or should they relocate and lose their source of income?

While the government’s goal to preserve culture through language isn’t a bad idea, it looks like another poorly thought-out policy decision. Much funding has to go into teachers’ training and the provision of books written in the mother tongues. Also, students will face a painful shift when learning in English when they get to secondary schools and higher institutions.

This policy looks like it would create many unnecessary issues for students and teachers and that’s why it doesn’t even have an implementation timeline yet.

Tolu Omotesho

December 1, 2022

Citizen

Language Policy, Nigeria, Nigerians, schools
Every year since 2014, the Center For World University Rankings (CWUR) compiles a list of the top 1000 universities in the world.
It’s however unfortunate to note that not even one Nigerian university made the list.

In fact, there has never been a Nigerian university on the CWUR ranking since 2014.

In spite of this, Uganda, Egypt and South Africa were the only African countries on the list.

The CWUR based this ranking on 8 factors including: quality of education, alumni employment, quality of faculty, influence, citations, publications, broad impact and patent.

This means an average Nigerian university does not meet any of these standards and cannot even match up to any of these international universities.

Looking at the alumni factor, after doing so much wahala to even get a degree in Nigeria, there are no jobs available for the graduates.

The extent of the failing education sector comes to light every other day and must be addressed!

For Nigeria to move forward and progress, the system responsible for grooming and producing citizens that will enforce this change has to be fixed.

You can check the full list here.

Maryam

July 12, 2016

Gist

education, Nigeria, Nigerian Universities, schools, world ranking
The fact that the educational system in Nigeria needs a complete overhaul isn’t news.
And since it looks like it could take the Nigerian government a while to get to that point, a group of Nigerian youth have decided to make a change, one step at a time.

In the past 4 years, Slum2school Africa has reached out and provided educational scholarships and support to 650 disadvantaged children in slums and remote communities such as Okuagbo, Saga Islands and Makoko.

The award-winning NGO, founded by Orondaam Otto in 2012, has engaged over 5000 volunteers across 12 different countries who have actively participated in realising the vision of the organisation.

2016 seems to be an unstoppable year for Slum2school Africa. In February, the first Early Childhood Development Centre was launched in Makoko to celebrate the 4th anniversary of the organisation.

The center was furnished with adequate educational materials and 4 learning spaces to conveniently service 600-1000 children weekly.

And in June, they commissioned the first fully-equipped children health care center in Makoko.

The health center was designed to serve about 2,000 children and will at least reduce the spread of diseases among the school children. The center will also provide first aid services to children in the community.

Thanks to these guys, there will be fewer Nigerian children out of school. Even with these accomplishments, the government needs to play its part and provide necessary amenities to children living in remote parts of the country.

Maryam

June 8, 2016

Gist

education, Nigeria, Nigerians, schools, slum2school, young Nigerians

I-can-do-and-undo lecturers

Sex for grades

Payola champions

When will people stop asking if school’s on break?

Student union that’s weaker than spiderweb

Every year, school fees hike

Every morning, database is on 404 Error

Missing exam scripts

Who asked for this?

It may cause confusion

Students will thrive

A headache for the parents

Even more headache for the teachers

It’s however unfortunate to note that not even one Nigerian university made the list.

In fact, there has never been a Nigerian university on the CWUR ranking since 2014.

In spite of this, Uganda, Egypt and South Africa were the only African countries on the list.

The CWUR based this ranking on 8 factors including: quality of education, alumni employment, quality of faculty, influence, citations, publications, broad impact and patent.

This means an average Nigerian university does not meet any of these standards and cannot even match up to any of these international universities.

Looking at the alumni factor, after doing so much wahala to even get a degree in Nigeria, there are no jobs available for the graduates.

The extent of the failing education sector comes to light every other day and must be addressed!

For Nigeria to move forward and progress, the system responsible for grooming and producing citizens that will enforce this change has to be fixed.

And since it looks like it could take the Nigerian government a while to get to that point, a group of Nigerian youth have decided to make a change, one step at a time.

In the past 4 years, Slum2school Africa has reached out and provided educational scholarships and support to 650 disadvantaged children in slums and remote communities such as Okuagbo, Saga Islands and Makoko.

The award-winning NGO, founded by Orondaam Otto in 2012, has engaged over 5000 volunteers across 12 different countries who have actively participated in realising the vision of the organisation.

2016 seems to be an unstoppable year for Slum2school Africa. In February, the first Early Childhood Development Centre was launched in Makoko to celebrate the 4th anniversary of the organisation.

The center was furnished with adequate educational materials and 4 learning spaces to conveniently service 600-1000 children weekly.

And in June, they commissioned the first fully-equipped children health care center in Makoko.

The health center was designed to serve about 2,000 children and will at least reduce the spread of diseases among the school children. The center will also provide first aid services to children in the community.

Thanks to these guys, there will be fewer Nigerian children out of school. Even with these accomplishments, the government needs to play its part and provide necessary amenities to children living in remote parts of the country.