1. When you bump into a cute guy at store only to hear “abi you’re blind”.

2. When you lean in for the first kiss only for someone in the background to shout “ashawooooo”.

3. When you kiss in the rain and now you have a cough and cold….

4. … And your weave is still itching 4 days later.

5. When he tries to run after you in the airport only to get slapped by a soldier for “trying nonsense”.

6. When his mother doesn’t like you and instead of saying “I love her mum” he gives you red card.

7. When the romantic music in the background is Terry G’s “Knack you akpako”.

8. When you pour your heart out in the dramatic scene only to hear “so that’s why you are shouting”?

9. When you try to do “if you love him, let him go” and he doesn’t come back…

10. .. But is getting married instead, to one girl with a bigger bum than you.

11. When you quit your job to chase your dreams but this is Nigeria so your dreams cannot do anything for you.

12. When you try to go on a long romantic drive only to enter 4 hour traffic.

13. When you meet the love of your life and now his girlfriend is subbing you on social media.

14. There are no young, rich, handsome AND single men here. All are married.

15. If you think we are lying, try and live your life like a rom-com in Nigeria. We will be here to laugh at you.