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rich | Zikoko!
  • We Ranked the Rich Boyfriends of Nollywood, From “God, When?” to “God Forbid”

    Nollywood found the rich boyfriend trope and held on to its ṣokoto like their lives depended on it. Honestly, we understand because the way these men spend money on their babes?

    If we weren’t too busy shouting, “God, when?” we’d be plotting how to break their happy homes.

    Mide in “Skinny Girl in Transit”

    We know he owns the company Tiwa works at, but at first, we couldn’t see how long his money was because of how casually he spent it. Now, our eyes are wide open. $100 bundles? Shares in Tesla and Apple? In this economy of constant inflation and ₦1,442 to $1?

    God-when-o-meter: We’ve been shouting, “God, when?” since he started dating Tiwa. Now that he’s dropping dollar bundles and shares in multinational companies on her head? God will soon have to beg us to hush.

    George in “Fine Wine”

    Somebody decided to give us RMD as an older lover, and every day, we send good vibes their way. George came into Kaima’s life and treated her like a princess. Shopping sprees, helped her get retained at her job, protected her from her idiot ex? The man thought she hung the moon and stars and did everything to make sure she knew it too.

    God-when-o-meter: Make a “God, when?” button and watch us press it hard.

    Aminu in “The Men’s Club”

    The man referred to himself as a forest because his money is just that long. He bought a house on the spot because the landlord was disturbing the love of his life. He flew from the island to the mainland because he couldn’t care to be stuck in Lagos traffic. Environmental activists might not like him very much and Tumini might be acting like his money is the sole cause of her unhappiness, but that’s okay because we like him very much.

    Aminu, call us.

    God-when-o-meter: We’ll take everything he has to offer, including his “Strong head. I don’t need help” behaviour.

    Adil in “Big Love”

    Adil wasn’t just in love with Adina, he loved her son too and was ready to do anything for them. Including using his parents connections to get her a new job, move them both to Lagos and beat the shit out of his cousin for cussing her out.

    God-when-o-meter: His family loved her, he loved her, they all came together to spoil her and her child silly. Take away his foolish cousin, and we’re in it for life.

    Deji in “The Royal Hibiscus Hotel”

    He bought her parents’ hotel for her. Granted, that was always his plan, but he met her, fell in love with her, and decided the only thing he wants is her love and happiness. And if it cost him a couple million naira, then so be it.

    God-when-o-meter: God, when? But also God, abeg, because imagine the love of your life having a friend and business partner like Martin.

    Behold our Valentine Special

    We brought back three couples we interviewed in 2019 to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. This is the first episode:

    Nonso from “The Wedding Party 2”

    Please, the man proposed by mistake and still went along with it. He even planned a destination wedding all because their families were fighting and he didn’t want anyone/thing to stress his baby. Nonso was a man in love; if his baby wanted something, she got it.

    God-when-o-meter: God, when? As long as he takes out the mistaken proposal bit because, why?

    Ahanna in “Rattlesnake: The Ahanna Story”

    If your man isn’t willing to elevate himself from the shackles of poverty by robbing a few rich people and his friends then using the money to buy a big ass farm in Abuja to live there with you, is it really love?

    God-when-o-meter: God, abeg. Doing crime with the love of your life is great, but imagine dying because his best friend’s sister, who he was cheating on you with, has come back for revenge?

    Buba from “Wrath and Revenge”

    We can’t deny how long Buba’s money and connections are. The man was willing and ready to do anything to protect Alicia from his stupid cousin and make sure she was good. Even though, now that we think about it, he was really the weapon fashioned against her, and the reason she needed to be protected in the first place. 

    God-when-o-meter: God, abeg. God forbid. God, not in this life or the next. Did you see what he almost did to her? Him and his salt and pepper beard can geddifok.

  • QUIZ: If You Get 12 on This Quiz You’re Rich AF

    Choose all that apply:

  • How Rich People Think: A Poor Man’s POV

    Everyone wants to be rich, at least I’m sure I want to. The comfort and financial freedom it offers are things that I look forward to. But this isn’t about my aspirations, it’s about those who have attained them. 

    Source: Zikoko memes

    I find the way rich folks think intriguing. The fact that they are usually oblivious to the struggles of those around them is what I find most fascinating. Rich people just assume everyone else should be able to do the things they do with ease. They can’t wrap their heads around what being poor feels like. 

    I remember when I changed schools in primary four. Ben 10 was probably the biggest thing at the time. I told one of my new friends that I couldn’t watch it because we didn’t have cable TV at home. He couldn’t believe it. There was a mixture of horror and shock in his face.

    Source: Zikoko memes

    “How can you survive without proper TV?”.  A similar thing happened the day I resumed boarding school. One of my classmates swore I was trolling when I said I didn’t have a PlayStation. He was certain that I had offended my parents.

    One advantage of being rich is that it allows you to chase your dreams. Someone once asked why I don’t go on vacations. My brother in Christ, I need money to survive today plis.

    Another is the constant advice that I need to invest to “secure my future.” Please I beg you, let me secure my present first.

    The funniest are those that ask why I don’t save. See, If I save anything right now I’ll die. I need to be able to live to enjoy the fruit of my labour please.

    I understand where rich people are coming from anyway. It’s important to plan ahead. But it’s a lot harder to plan when you have not as many resources. The safety net of financial stability is a wonderful privilege. I hope it gets better for everyone.  We all deserve the freedom to chase what we want.

    This is why we have decided to give you exactly what you want. The women-only party, HERtitude. Click here to get your tickets

  • QUIZ: Are You a Trust Fund Baby?

    Are you a “trust fund baby” or a “hustle fund baby”? Take this quiz to find out if you were born with a silver or rubber spoon in your mouth. 

    Choose as many as you can relate to:

     

  • QUIZ: How Deep Is Your Pocket?

    Is your pocket an endless pit of money? This quiz knows the truth.

  • QUIZ: How Much Money Actually Fits Your Personality?

    ₦2k or ₦30 billion? How much money will fit you? Take this quiz and we’ll let you know.

  • According to Nigerians, These Alternative Careers Are Money Spinners

    Times are changing, but we all still need to make money. Because some people seem to figure out how to cash out faster than others, we’ve gone out of our way to find and question them. They told us these seven careers are sure money spinners.

    Prayer warrior

    Don’t you know that prayers work wonders, and it can be a full-time job? If you had a new naira note for every time a rich Nigerian answered “Na God” after being asked for the source of their wealth, you’d be rich too.

    Content creator

    How many Instagram posts of content creators buying Benz and houses do you need to see before you know you should drop your 9-5 and start making skits?

    Political influencer 

    This one will feed you, your family and your village people. The only thing you have to give in exchange is your conscience. Small price to pay.

    POS attendant

    Tech bros have nothing on POS attendants now. The one and only bureau de change that deals in naira to naira and takes a huge cut. How can you not respect their name?

    Being in a relationship

    Relationships are lucrative right now, but you can’t have a vanilla label like boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s too basic. You either want to be a glucose boy or a soft babe. Who wants to work for money when someone else can pay you to date them?

    Hard work

    Ask every single Nigerian billionaire what they did, and they’ll tell you they worked hard. Maybe it’s time you started working hard too.

    Gift vendor

    We heard they made bank on Valentine’s Day, but that’s not all. They make bank every day of the year. People want to impress their partners with gifts and need vendors. Step in and get the bag.

    Owambe hypeman

    Who wouldn’t want to praise people at a party? They’d spray you with loads of cool cash just to hype them up while they dance away their savings. Why would anyone choose a regular 9 to 5 over this.


    NEXT READ: 7 Ways To Make Money Without Working For It


  • Where to Find a Billionaire Who’ll Spend Money on You

    Finding a billionaire is hard enough; finding one who’ll willingly spend their hard and soft currency on you is even harder. That’s why we used all the tools in our arsenal to curate a list of places you’ll find these specific class of philanthropic billionaires. No need to thank us, we’re just being nice. 

    Babalawo’s shrine 

    The babalawo’s shrine is where you’ll meet the up-and-coming billionaires, people who’re there for money rituals, yahoo ++ and other things. You get to invest right before they blow. And when they do, you’ve bagged yourself a billionaire who’s gonna take care of you. Forget what people say about networking in country clubs, the shrine is the best place to network. 

    Someone’s village 

    People always claim there are lowkey billionaires, richer than Dangote, in their villages. Those billionaires? You must jam them by force. 

    RELATED: 11 Signs You’re Not Ready to Be a Billionaire

    Marine kingdom 

    One thing about the bad bitches in the marine kingdom is they’ll never go for a broke guy. If you join them, you’ll get access to their elite list of billionaires whose lives you can destroy. 

    Stand on a bad road and hawk oranges 

    Now, if Nollywood has taught us anything, it’s that billionaires like orange sellers. However, for this to properly work, you have to hawk on a road that’s notorious for spoiling cars. When your billionaire parks to buy your oranges, their car will suddenly refuse to start working. Offer to fix it and gbam, billionaire secured. 

    RELATED: QUIZ: Which Nigerian Billionaire Are You?

    Hell

    Since billionaires never make heaven, you’ll definitely find many in hell. So go to one of those people who take excursions to heaven and hell and ask them what airline they use to visit hell.  When you get there, ask the dearly departed billionaires how you can date and marry the ones they left on Earth. 

    Any 60th birthday party 

    If you see anyone throwing a 60th birthday party, better attend. There’s something about people who celebrate their 60th birthdays and that thing is wealth. Either you catch the eye of the billionaire celebrant or one of their billionaire friends in attendance. 

    Twitter

    People on that app are always claiming to know one or two billionaires personally. Snoop around and get to befriending. There’s no mercy for money, so find all the people findable and collect all their money. 

    RELATED: Quiz: Do You Even Have What it Takes to Be a Nigerian Billionaire? 

    Starting tomorrow (January 31st, 2023)

  • QUIZ: Are You Glucose Guardian Material?

    Do you have what it takes to be a glucose guardian? Take this quiz to find out.

  • QUIZ: How Much Money Have You Made This Year?

    This quiz knows if you’ve made bastard money or chicken change.


    QUIZ: How Much Money Do You Need Right Now?

  • QUIZ: Take This Quiz and We’ll Give You a Way Out of Black Tax

    You need to end your black tax before it ends you and your pocket. Take this quiz and we’ll give you a way out of it.

  • QUIZ: If You Relate to 8 Things on This Quiz, You’re Definitely Rich

    This is your chance to make a humble brag about how loaded you are. If you can relate to at least eight things on this quiz, you’re definitely rich.

    Pick all the things you can relate to:

  • QUIZ: Spend $1m on This Quiz and We’ll Guess the Right Job for You

    We’ll dash you (fake) $1m on this quiz. Spend it and we’ll suggest a career that fits you.

  • 7 Ways to Land a Rich Spouse You Haven’t Thought About

    The fastest way to get rich is to be born rich. But if you missed that bus, you can just marry rich and your problems would be solved. We have the cheat code to do just that, and we’ll give it to you for free. 

    Snatch someone’s rich spouse

    Who has time to start looking for a rich spouse all over the place, when you can just find a rich couple, enter their relationship and create small space for yourself?

    Marry your glucose guardian

    How to actually make them go from glucose guardian to a spouse? That’s up to you to figure out. You can trap them with food or kayan mata, or even just put a ring on their finger and force them to sign a few papers.

    Join a political party

    You have our word on finding “rich” people there. But a spouse? You’re on your own in that aspect.

    Gatecrash a classy wedding

    What better way to meet your rich spouse than at a gathering of already-rich people celebrating marriage? You may end up choosing a Yoruba demon, but it’s worth the risk.


    RELATED: All The Places You Can Find A Nigerian Sugar Daddy


    Hang around the Canadian embassy

    In this life, you just have to be strategic. That’s why hanging around the Canadian embassy is the exact thing you should be doing if you want a rich spouse. When you add the possibility of japa, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t pursue them.

    Slide into a rich person’s DM

    You should only do this after you’ve liked all their pictures so they can notice you. They’ll probably follow back. Once they do, the floor is set.

    Propose to an Akara seller 

    We’ve said it before, but we’ll say it again, akara is the new tech. Profess your love to the next akara seller that catches your eye.


    ALSO READ: 13 Places to Meet a Rich Bobo in Lagos  

  • QUIZ: You’re Rich If You Own 20/25 Of These Designer Brands

    We’ll tell you if you’re broke or crazy rich based on the number of these designer brands you own.

  • QUIZ: How Rich Do You Smell?

    Does the stink of poverty follow you about or do you smell like a million bucks?

    Take this quiz to find out.

    QUIZ: How Rich Is Your Soulmate?

  • 11 Signs to Know a Young Nigerian Man Who Has Come Into Money

    When a young Nigerian man has just come into money, he is easy to know. You have to look out for the signs so you can know how to make your move. Here is a list of eleven signs you should watch out for. Don’t say Zikoko did not do anything for you.

    1. He’s starting to grow a potbelly.

    The potbelly of a young Nigerian man who has just come into money is certainly not as big as this. It’s a small, blossoming thing, just to show that he has started eating a little too well and does not really have time for the gym because he is too busy counting his new money. Look around, ladies and gentlemen, these men are everywhere.

    2. He wears Sauvage by Dior or Club De Nuit Intense.

    This is the signature scent. You better get familiar with it. It is the smell of money.

    3. He visits Unilag In the evening.

    We are not going to speak much on this. But if you know, you know.

    4. He has white native, both up and down and Agbada.

    You will probably call him a demon, but he knows he is an angel and doesn’t want you to stain his white. White wey don stain.

    5. With Man purse

    Zipper Men Clutch Bags PU Men's Leather Wallet Men Handy Bag Male Long Wallets  Man Purses Brown One size price from kilimall in Kenya - Yaoota!

    This is a necessary piece.

    6. He’s always tweeting about how his parents now ask him for advice.

    It’s because he has money, my dears. Who sabi the poor pikin?

    7. He says things like “I will marry this woman.”

    Zikoko Memes on Twitter: "Which Odunlade Adekola are you today? A, B, C or  D #zikokomemes… "

    He’s an intentional man, please. No time for back and forth, he is a talk-and-do.

    8. He cheats only once a week

    Because he’s busy making money the rest of the week. Can’t fumble the bag because of mekwe.

    9. He either drives a Corolla or a Lexus or he’s driving a Toyota and aiming for Lexus.

    Lexus RX 350 Price in Nigeria (2021)

    By their cars, you shall know them. Better watch out so you can catch the latest fresh fish.

    10. He’s working Canadian PR.

    Japa | Zikoko!

    What’s the point of being a rich young man who has just come into money, if not to japa? #OperationCanda #JapaSZN

    11. He doesn’t have time for foreplay

    He’s too busy trying to get back to work. Can’t be spending time caressing places that won’t yield cash. If anyone says we are lying, let them come out and deny it.

    [donation]

  • QUIZ: Make Some Financial Decisions And We’ll Guess Your Account Balance

    How much do you have in your account? Let’s expose you:

  • QUIZ: Only Wealthy Nigerians Can Score 9/13 On This Lyrics Quiz

    If you have money, then you’ll be listening to songs about money. How well do you know their lyrics?

    Take the quiz:

  • QUIZ: Create An Outfit, And We’ll Tell You If You’re A Rich Nigerian Aunty

    Are you rich Nigerian aunty in training or are you far from it? Create an outfit and we’ll tell you.

  • 6 Ways To Become A Millionaire Overnight

    For some people, urgent 2k is not enough. Sometimes, they need an urgent one million. Well, before they would tell you it was impossible, but nothing is impossible for Zikoko. Here are six ways to become a millionaire overnight.

    1) Dream

    How else will you become a millionaire overnight if you do not sleep? All you have to do is lay your head on your bed and dream of your millions. Once that is done, congratulations on being a millionaire.

    2) Write yourself a cheque

    If you do not have a cheque book, then go to your bank and request one. Then when that is done, write yourself a cheque for a few million. That is it. You are done. It does not matter if you do not have up to five thousand naira in your account, what matters is that you are owing yourself a few million naira, and that means you are a millionaire.

    3) Create your own currency

    As you wake up, just declare a new currency. It does not have to be valid and you might be the only person to hear about it till you die, but it is still millions. I do not remember saying you would be a millionaire in naira. All we did was promise to teach you how to be a millionaire overnight.

    4) Perform money ritual that pleases God

    The best thing about money rituals that please God is that because God is involved, it will work quicker. If you have never done money ritual that pleases God before, just know that one of the things involved is a God-fearing babalawo.

    5) Summon the Angels from Africa

    If you are in Africa then you have a stronger chance of the angels actually working for you. Call on them because the angels of Africa have a way of making the unexpected happen.

    6) Call on your ancestors

    The ancestors cannot just be drinking gin and eating kola nut for free. Put them to WORK. They are getting too comfortable, so threaten to cut off their gin supply for a week. They will give in to your demands to be a millionaire overnight or turn you into a goat. It is a gamble.

    For more on what is inside this life, please click here


  • QUIZ: How Rich Are You?

    Are you broke or are you crazy rich? Take this quiz and we’ll tell you.

  • 12 Signs Your Nigerian Girlfriend Is A Rich Woman

    If there is anything Nigerian babes have learned from politicians, it is how to hide their wealth. You will be dating a Nigerian babe and thinking you are both hustlers until a strong wind blows and you realise that Dangote is taking lessons from her.

    Never again, kings. Here are 12 ways to know your girlfriend is a rich woman.

    1. She has a PiggyVest app.

    Everything You Need To Know About The New SafeLock | by PiggyVest | Medium

    She’ll probably lie that she has no money there. Isn’t that all women do? They lie. But ask her to show you her Safe Lock. That’s how you’ll know your babe is competing with Jeff Bezos, Forbes just never sabi her.

    2. Ask her how much her nail tech charges.

    I can assure you, she spends nothing less than 5k. Here’s further proof.

    3. If she has up to 3 wigs, even Elon Musk fears her.

    Guy, do you know how much one quality wig costs? Just one oh, let alone three or whatever number she has.

    4. She has either of these shoes in her collection.

    If she has both of them, please this is how you should be greeting her everyday:

    Tuale Mama! Two hands for one person. No more tuale double puate!

    That woman can help your destiny oh.

    5. She owns at least 1 dress from an online vendor.

    Calculate cost of fabric, sewing, delivery and other logistics of one dress. Now multiply it with the number of dresses she has bought from an online vendor. Do the maths, I dare you.

    6. She goes out to eat creamy pasta at least two times a week.

    Creamy pasta that you usually budget before you eat, that’s what your Nigerian girlfriend is consuming like water. Hmm.

    7. She knows the meaning of these two logos.

    This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is rise-and-bamboo.jpg

    Or she has them on her phone. You are dating a pocket-size Folorunsho Alakija. You better hold her tight.

    8. They know her at Keje Grills.

    Keje Grill | Abuja – SalmahXO

    Abuja babes, fall out!

    9. She has never asked you for money.

    Do you need further proof that your Nigerian girlfriend is a silent millionaire?

    10. She has asked you for money.

    That’s the thing with those rich babes. Them no dey ever like to spend their own money. Besides, if she does not ask you for money, how will you know she’s rich?

    11. She and her friends have ‘brunch’ days, and it looks like this.

    8 Food Decisions You Need To Make This New Year | Zikoko!

    Actions speak louder than words oh.

    12. She is planning to wear Deola Sagoe on her wedding day.

    Go and ask how much Deola Sagoe is and come back to read this post again.


    QUIZ: How Rich Is Your Soulmate?

  • QUIZ: How Will You Make Your First Million Dollars?

    Wondering how you’ll make your first million dollars?

    Take this quiz to find out.

  • QUIZ: How Rich Do You Look?

    You don’t have to actually be rich to look like you are. The way you present yourself is enough to deceive people into thinking you have money in your account. So, let this quiz tell you how rich you look.

    Go ahead:

  • 7 “Poor” Things You Do When You’re Secretly Rich

    If you’re one of those people who like to hide their money from family and friends, then this list is for you:

    1) Deflect comments and compliments.

    Some examples: “Don’t whine me.” “It’s not like that.”

    2) Always say “we thank God.”

    Person: How are things?

    You: We thank God.

    Person: How will you buy it?

    You: God will do it.

    3) Always ask people for money before they get the chance.

    Do this is a subtle manner – “Boss, anything for me?” “Anything for boys?”

    4) Say “God when” when you can obviously afford something.

    Works like a charm.

    5) Always deny ownership of your properties.

    Examples that can help: “Asking for a friend.” “At least that’s what rich people do.”

    6) Complain about Nigeria.

    Everyone knows that if you don’t join people in complaining about the government, Nigerians will ask you for money. It is known.

    7) Take Uber for 90% of a journey and use bike to complete the remaining 10%.

    Arrive there in dust and regrets so that your cover is perfect.

  • QUIZ: When Exactly Will You Become Filthy Rich?

    How long will it take for you account balance to finally catch up with your expensive tastes? Well, this quiz is here to tell you when exactly you’ll become the filthy person you were always destined to be.

    Take to find out:

  • 7 ‘Rich’ Things You Do When You’re Secretly Poor

    1. When you take buses and keke napeps for 90% of the journey and then use an Uber for the last 10% so you arrive at where you’re going in grand style.

    Laides and Gentlemen. I have arrived!

    2. When you take an old Eva bottle and fill it with tap water on your way to work.

    I can use that N150 for something else abeg.

    3. When you use all your money to buy an expensive wristwatch and then you take pictures so you can show off the watch for your Instagram fam.

    They don’t know that you’re going to drink garri for the rest of the month.

    4. When you manage to go to the beach one time and you take like 300 pictures so you can upload one everyday for the next 1 year.

    They must think I ball everyday.

    5. When you borrow your roommate’s expensive shoes so you cross your legs anytime you sit down so people can notice.

    See my borrow pose slay!

    6. When you scatter your rent money on your bed and take a picture with it and then caption it, “Money ain’t a problem”.

    Meanwhile the rent money isn’t even complete and your Landlord is about to throw you out.

    7. When you’re drinking Sprite at the mall and it finishes so you go to the bathroom and fill the bottle up with water.

    Because you know nobody will be able to tell the difference by just looking at it.

    Did you enjoy this article about broke people that form rich? Sure you did! Now, read this next article about all the things broke people are tiring of hearing.

    9 Things Broke AF People Are Tired Of Hearing
  • If You’re Looking For Something To Be Sad About Today, Let Us Help You
    Wang Sicong , the only son of a Chinese billionaire Wang Jianlin is known on social media for his more-than-extravagant spending on his Alaskan bitch, Malamute Keke.

    On today’s episode of ‘The Whole World Is Crazy’, we present to you the richest bitch in the world, Keke Mamalute.

    Keke’s owner, Wang Sicong, bought the dog, not one, not 2, but 8 of the latest and most expensive iPhone brand.

    The iPHONE 7 is valued at about N473,000. Multiply that by 8 and join us in crying please.

    Someone is buying iPhone 7 for his dog but your boyfriend cannot buy simple case for your palasa phone, is that one even boyfriend?

    Wang had previously posted pictures of Keke wearing 2 gold Apple wrist watches he got her.

    In a world where millions live in poverty and conflict, is this kind of spending logical, Uncle Wang?

    Maybe some of us should just turn into pet dog so Uncle Wang can adopt us.

  • 1. When you want a Porsche but your dad says you should manage a BMW.

    What is all this one now?

    2. When credit alert will not let your phone rest.

    Can I just rest please?

    3. When dressing up is an everlasting stuggle because your clothes are just too many.

    So tired.

    4. When your tailors start calling 100k because they know you’re rich.

    Are you joking?

    5. When your compound is too full and there’s no space to park your plenty cars.

    See stress!

    6. When you get a job and they want to pay you 500k salary.

    Such rudeness!

    7. You, when everybody wants to be your friend by force.

    Which kind wahala?

    8. When you’re not sure your boyfriend really loves you or just loves your money.

    True love or nah?

    9. You, when your relatives start saying ‘you’re spoiled’ because you have money.

    Na you sabi!

    10. When first class seats are not even comfortable for you.

    This rich life is just stress!
  • If All Your Friends Are Members Of Rich Gang, This Post Is For You

    1. When you hear they dropped 300k for only prom.

    Ahn ahn! Only you?

    2. When they’re complaining that their holiday in The Bahamas was boring.

    Nawa oh!

    3. Meanwhile, you spent the holidays washing plates in the village.

    Anyway, this life is turn by turn sha!

    4. When they say they’re on a budget because they have ‘only’ 30k in their account.

    This one doesn’t know anything.

    5. When they buy something of N100 with N1000, and they tell the hawker to keep the change.

    I’m so going back to collect that change!

    6. When you go to their house and they treat you like royalty.

    This is heaven on earth!

    7. But you don’t want to go home , so your parents have to come to carry you from their house like:

    Give me one more day now!

    8. Their reaction when you talk about ‘jumping’ danfo.

    “What is a danfo?”

    9. When they come to your house and your parents start forming nice.

    But you people are always wicked to me now.

    10. When they buy 10k jeans in Yaba, and they tell you it’s cheap.

    They have scammed this one o!

    11. Their reaction when you baff up and wear your ‘designer’ kacks.

    “Are those knock off yeezys girl?”

    12. You, when their parents come to the hostel and start shouting that the room doesn’t have AC.

    But there is fan now!

    13. When they buy you plenty clothes from jand.

    Oshey friendship mi!

    14. How they react when you ask them about their problems in life.

    We already know ma!

    15. Their reaction when you tell them you’re always broke.

    Just look at this one.

    16. When they ask you to come and hang out at one posh restaurant you can’t even pronounce.

    I’m not on seat abeg!
  • 7 Times This Nigerian Was Humble-Brag Goals
    This Nigerian car dealer knows he has plenty money but he kuku doesn’t want to rub it in our faces too much so we won’t feel bad. He’s religious and even covers his really expensive car with the blood of Jesus when he gets scared. Here are 7 times he was too humble in his bragging:

    1. When he didn’t know what to wear.

    2. His wonderful act of charity.

    3. When he was going to church on a rainy day.

    4. When he was stuck in traffic with little fuel in his car.

    5. When he wanted us to know his “started from the bottom” story.

    6. When he was pleading the blood of Jesus.

    7. When he shared how he made the greatest mistake of his life.

    Uncle Wizkid, take note.