Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121 Relationship Status | Zikoko!
If you’re in a romantic relationship and you’re looking for a way stress the hell out of all the single people who currently follow you on social media, you’re in luck. Here’s a list of things you can do that will make all your single followers fall on their knees and scream, “GOD WHEN?! AM I NOT YOUR CHILD TOO??!!!” or some other overplayed variation of that.
1) Post two POV pictures of you and your partner at a restaurant and caption it, “Their view. My view.”
This reminds single people of the fact that they have to go to restaurants alone and quietly ask for a table one, hoping that the waiter doesn’t snicker and say “Eeyah.”
2) Post pictures of you and your partner in matching outfits.
I’m not sure why but matching outfits always seems to make the blood of single people boil. Extra points if they’re matching pyjamas and it’s Christmas time.
3) Make random posts about your partner.
Show all the single people all the couple goodness they’re missing.
4) Join every disgustingly cute couples’ challenge you see online.
And use that song that goes, “whenever you’re ready. Whenever you’re ready”.
5) Then when you get married, post a picture and use this as the caption.
This is the ultimate blow that’ll make al single people explode.
Apparently there is a method to Nigerian relationships. We noticed it like we notice everything and we made a list to share this discovery with you.
Meet the 5 major stages of Nigerian relationships;
1. The honeymoon phase.
This is when you both just started dating and you still can’t get enough of each other. You talk all day and video call all night while still texting each other in between. You spend 2 hours apart and it’s all “I missed you” when you see again (*insert eye roll plix*). This is basically the time and part where you just annoy everybody.
2. The cute social media announcement.
Then comes the cute social media update. You finally found love and you must let your virtual friends and followers know because why? Because pepperdem! Plus in the guide to being a millennial a social media announcement is an important relationship level to unlock. Plus you also want to let your ex know you’ve moved on- pepperdem.
3. The first fight.
And then comes the first big fight. And sometimes an ex even makes a cameo appearance to make things more complicated. The opening statement is usually “Who is she?”. This is also usually when the first red flag comes up but the bliss of the honeymoon phase will not let you see road. If you look well enough (as you should be doing) you would see that this fight tells you a lot about your partner too. Like where are all these insults coming from? I thought you said I was perfect.
4. Then shit gets real.
At this point romance gives way to reality. Shit gets real and the reality of the heavy weight commitment that a relationship demands comes into play. For some people the weight becomes too much and they cave in to it. Thus bringing an abrupt end to the forever they promised each other.
5. The comes the Bloom.
This is when the relationship survives all the initial gragra and grows into something you are both now comfortable and happy with. When it becomes less about the sex and more about the time you spend with each other. And even more importantly- you both now know each other. This is where the real relationship starts.
Do you think we skipped a stage? Drop it in the comment section.
Meanwhile, if you want to know why you are still single this ingenious quiz will tell you why. You’re welcome.
“Why are you single” seems to be the new million dollar question for busy bodies and lifestyle detectives in Nigeria. Because silly questions deserve equally silly answers we’ve coined 5 bomb responses you can easily reach for the next time anybody asks you.
Yasssss, there’s a geng named “too fab for commitment” and I hold chair lady position so go figure.
Jesus is the only man for me.
Jesus is the only man I need. And I hope you know he sacrificed his life for me so our bond is pretty tight.
I am actually waiting in line for your boo. So let me know when it’s over.
This is for the people in relationships who keep badgering you about your single status. This response will put an end to their badgering and most likely your friendship with them too. Which would probably be a good deal.
Oops, nobody told me it was against the law to be single.
People be acting like staying single is a known way to break the law. Well i’m single so sue me.
Why are you so obsessed with me? Don’t you have a life to live? What’s the obsession with mine about?
For the nosy people who have a trouble with minding their own business.
My soulmate is still stuck in traffic somewhere in the world. I was even planning on borrowing yours while i wait.
I actually ordered for a boyfriend but the package is still in quarantine. Which store did you get yours from?
Since silly questions are now the order of the day.
While you’re still here we need you feedback on our “What she said” pieces. We know you love them and we would love a review from you. Click here.
PS: If you are here because you are about to dump somebody’s child and you need opening remarks please step aside. This is a well deserved pity party for those of us who have been hurt for the most unreasonable reasons. Here’s a list of the 9 most annoying break up lines.
1. “You deserve better”
Since when did you become so selfless? Are you trying to outdo Jesus? Is that it? You want to outdo Jesus?
2. “It’s not me, it’s you”.
But when did it become a competition? And even if it is a competition, when and how did you win?
3. “I need to focus on my work”
I have a job too and i am still in the relationship. And till date there’s no proof that I have 2 heads.
4. “I need space”
Give me the measurements. 10 millimeters? 20 centimeters? Talk to me.
5. “I don’t want to hold you back”
Mmm….But I never said you were a rope.
6. “You are like a sister to me”
But we have been doing things brothers and sisters don’t do.
7. “Lets just take a break”
Please clarify; do you mean lunch break, break dance or breaking bad?
8. “I love you so much it scares me”
Lies! Word on the street is that when people say this, the love they speak of is most likely non existent. But they can’t tell you that to your face so they say the opposite instead.
But I thought the relationship was between me and you. Another question please; why didn’t you ask them before chyking me?
That’s 9 of the most annoying breakup lines and ironically they are also the most used. It’s like every year a secret convention is held for people that want to break up. And then these lines are released to them in a brochure. Has any of them been used on you and have you yourself used any on someone else? You can tell us, we won’t judge.
And when you’re done you can click here to find out if you are an annoying person too. You’re welcome.
2020 has been a rough year so far, but that doesn’t the world is over. People are still finding love (and getting married) in the middle of this pandemic, so don’t give up hope just yet. Let’s predict what your relationship status will be at the end of this year.
Quick story, boy meets girl and they both fall in love. But what happens when the girl starts to feel like relationship prefect after 10 years and no ring?
This Twitter user Doye shared the story of his friend’s unfortunate break up.
So my friend’s girlfriend just called off their 10 year old relationship cos he has refused to propose… Loooool, I can’t stop laughing
Quick story, boy meets girl and they both fall in love. But what happens when the girl starts to feel like relationship prefect after 10 years and no ring?
In case #Seizethebae2015 failed you too…
These questions are totally random…seriously! Featured Image: Playbuzz
