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relationship goals | Zikoko!
  • The 5 Major Stages of a Nigerian Relationship

    Apparently there is a method to Nigerian relationships. We noticed it like we notice everything and we made a list to share this discovery with you.

    Meet the 5 major stages of Nigerian relationships;

    1. The honeymoon phase.

    zikoko- Nigerian Relationship

    This is when you both just started dating and you still can’t get enough of each other. You talk all day and video call all night while still texting each other in between. You spend 2 hours apart and it’s all “I missed you” when you see again (*insert eye roll plix*). This is basically the time and part where you just annoy everybody.

    2. The cute social media announcement.

    zikoko- Nigerian Relationship

    Then comes the cute social media update. You finally found love and you must let your virtual friends and followers know because why? Because pepperdem! Plus in the guide to being a millennial a social media announcement is an important relationship level to unlock. Plus you also want to let your ex know you’ve moved on- pepperdem.

    3. The first fight.

    And then comes the first big fight. And sometimes an ex even makes a cameo appearance to make things more complicated. The opening statement is usually “Who is she?”. This is also usually when the first red flag comes up but the bliss of the honeymoon phase will not let you see road. If you look well enough (as you should be doing) you would see that this fight tells you a lot about your partner too. Like where are all these insults coming from? I thought you said I was perfect.

    4. Then shit gets real.

    At this point romance gives way to reality. Shit gets real and the reality of the heavy weight commitment that a relationship demands comes into play. For some people the weight becomes too much and they cave in to it. Thus bringing an abrupt end to the forever they promised each other.

    5. The comes the Bloom.

    This is when the relationship survives all the initial gragra and grows into something you are both now comfortable and happy with. When it becomes less about the sex and more about the time you spend with each other. And even more importantly- you both now know each other. This is where the real relationship starts.

    Do you think we skipped a stage? Drop it in the comment section.

    Meanwhile, if you want to know why you are still single this ingenious quiz will tell you why. You’re welcome.

  • 9 Most Annoying Break Up Lines

    PS: If you are here because you are about to dump somebody’s child and you need opening remarks please step aside. This is a well deserved pity party for those of us who have been hurt for the most unreasonable reasons. Here’s a list of the 9 most annoying break up lines.

    1. “You deserve better”

    zikoko- most annoying breakup lines

    Since when did you become so selfless? Are you trying to outdo Jesus? Is that it? You want to outdo Jesus?

    2. “It’s not me, it’s you”.

    zikoko- most annoying breakup lines

    But when did it become a competition? And even if it is a competition, when and how did you win?

    3. “I need to focus on my work”

    I have a job too and i am still in the relationship. And till date there’s no proof that I have 2 heads.

    4. “I need space”

    zikoko- most annoying breakup lines

    Give me the measurements. 10 millimeters? 20 centimeters? Talk to me.

    5. “I don’t want to hold you back”

    zikoko- most annoying breakup lines

    Mmm….But I never said you were a rope.

    6. “You are like a sister to me”

    zikoko- most annoying breakup lines

    But we have been doing things brothers and sisters don’t do.

    7. “Lets just take a break”

    Please clarify; do you mean lunch break, break dance or breaking bad?

    8. “I love you so much it scares me”


    Lies! Word on the street is that when people say this, the love they speak of is most likely non existent. But they can’t tell you that to your face so they say the opposite instead.

    9. “My parents don’t approve”

    
zikoko- most annoying breakup lines

    But I thought the relationship was between me and you. Another question please; why didn’t you ask them before chyking me?

    That’s 9 of the most annoying breakup lines and ironically they are also the most used. It’s like every year a secret convention is held for people that want to break up. And then these lines are released to them in a brochure. Has any of them been used on you and have you yourself used any on someone else? You can tell us, we won’t judge.

    And when you’re done you can click here to find out if you are an annoying person too. You’re welcome.

  • 1. Bon and Pon, aged 60 and 61, have been married for 37 years.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRZvMefjRBa/

    2. And they take these really cute pictures together.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQp17gmj2xz/?taken-by=bonpon511

    3. Not just because elderly couples are the ultimate couple goals.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQsUNbHjSNJ/?taken-by=bonpon511

    4. But because they also co-ordinate their outfits in a very stylish manner.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQZ5A95DQKr/?taken-by=bonpon511

    5. Their ‘and-co’ game is tight AF!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BN6K64qj6z8/?taken-by=bonpon511

    6. Can your fave couple ever?

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BNl-lsdhTxy/?taken-by=bonpon511

    7. They’ve become an online sensation after only being on Instagram for 3 months.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BNmACdrhdh8/?taken-by=bonpon511

    8. Their page ‘Bonpon511’ is simply a combination of their names and wedding date.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BNmbMQThy5f/?taken-by=bonpon511

    Awwww! Bon and Pon are proof that old love is the best love.

    Hope some of you are already taking fashion notes from them sha.

  • Could You Stay In A Relationship For 10 Years?
    Quick story, boy meets girl and they both fall in love. But what happens when the girl starts to feel like relationship prefect after 10 years and no ring?

    This Twitter user Doye shared the story of his friend’s unfortunate break up.

    So my friend’s girlfriend just called off their 10 year old relationship cos he has refused to propose… Loooool, I can’t stop laughing

    — D (@DukeLagos) March 28, 2016

    According to him, his friend was going to propose on the 1st of April.

    Dude was goin to propose on the 1st of April.. What we gon do with the ring we already bought now ??

    — D (@DukeLagos) March 28, 2016

    When bae dumps you just when you wanted to propose.

    When bae dumps you and you cannot post their picture with ’10 years and counting’ caption on Instagram.

    When you love bae but need 10 years to make up your mind.

    Who security don epp?

    When you wait for bae to complete medical school but they dump you right after graduation.

    But we have questions sha..

    Why didn’t he bring out the ring on the spot, when she was breaking up?

    If there was no way he was going to propose during those 10 years, why didn’t they go their separate ways earlier?

    We’re only here for the banter sha.

    [zkk_poll post=26213 poll=content_block_standard_format_11] [zkk_poll post=26213 poll=content_block_standard_format_12]
  • This Story About An Elderly Nigerian Couple Is The Ultimate Relationship Goal!

    Everybody loves happy and cute couples. Those ones that make you want to fall in love everyday.

    Couples that still spend quality time together and have fun in their own way after decades of being together are the utimate relationship goals.

    A Nigerian shared these tweets of this elderly couple having a quiet picnic at Agodi gardens, Ibadan.

    Meet Chief And Mrs Frederick Olutunde Obadina…

    ..who have been married since 1958.

    They were enjoying a quiet time and a game of cards together.

    And he ended the thread with this important lesson…

    [zkk_poll post=18781 poll=content_block_standard_format_7]