psquare | Zikoko!

I’d like to start this by giving a big shout-out to myself for constantly stumbling on questionable things on Judas Iscariot’s internet.

After me na me

Today, I’ll be recapping the music video of Mr P’s Paloma.

What in the robocop is going on here? I’m not even going to address this.

Back when PSquare were just two separate Ps, and we were begging them to go back to being one, Peter Okoye – Mr P – released this music video about all the dumb ways people behave when they’re in love.

And as a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, I had to click on it faster than you can say, Jack Robinson.

This is a serious inquiry.

The video starts with Mr P and Tolu Bally, whom I shall now refer to as little miss shine shine baby, getting ready for a night out in the town.

The look and feel of this entire thing is giving, “kasala is about to burst at 2:30, hang around only if you have that dog in you.”.

The song starts, and Mr P waxes lyrical about his Paloma, who I’m beginning to suspect is little miss shine shine baby.

It’s giving primary school rhymes

A car pulls up to a restaurant, and Kunle Remi – who shall be addressed as hot man Kunle, henceforth – steps out of the car like a billionaire from an early 2000s Nollywood movie.

Little miss shine shine baby is clearly going to go through it in this video

If I say hot man Kunle was followed by little miss shine shine baby (gosh, that is such a long name), thunder might actually strike me because he leaves her in the car and walks away on his own.

This was the beginning of my revelation. This man was going to stress me with his bad character, and after Sunday from A Sunday Affair, showed me varying shades of shege, I decided to take that threat seriously.

Little miss shine shine baby walks into the restaurant, again on her own, trips on thin air and the strap of her heel breaks.

Mr P is acting acting. I’m convinced it was this video that got him the role of Femi Fernandez in Shanty Town.

Justice for little miss shine shine baby

Who needs enemies when you’re wining and dining with your biggest hater? I’m just going to take everything that man does and press it to my chest because what did my shine shine baby do to deserve such a treatment.

Their date ends horribly, maybe it’s because he can’t see past his average-sized nose, or because they just sat there arguing and drinking gin for most of the night, or it could be because of all the incredibly obvious ads.

Like this one …

… and this one.

The date is sha over, everyone can return to their places of residence…

… and shine shine baby can conveniently forget her phone at the restaurant, so Mr P has a reason to seek her out in the next scene.

Who is little miss shine shine baby in the face of such a fate? She comes to the mechanic shop where he works to get her phone, and all the men who’ve been following Mr P up and down like they’re all glued together spot her.

Thus begins their ajepako/ajebutter love story.

They share a drink…

He’s on a strict budget; cut him some slack

He loses all his senses and leaves an interview to help fix her car…

What is a paying job in the face of love?

Then retire to her house for a light game of pillow fighting.

Please bear in mind that one of these people just abandoned an interview for a job that would’ve definitely paid better than the two jobs he’s currently holding down.

As expected, the video ends with hot man Kunle, catching them in their affair.

After what little miss shine shine baby went through in this video, I hope she finally leaves men and focuses on herself, before they give her high blood pressure.

Chioma Munachi

April 7, 2023

Pop, So You Don’t Have To

psquare
Nothing gets the internet going like a hot and spicy celebrity showdown. From Olamide dividing Lagos into two (one for him and the other for Don Jazzy) to Wizkid dragging Davido by his invisible edges by likening his voice to that of a frog, the internet has given us some of the most hilarious beefs of the decade.

Olamide vs. Don Jazzy (2016)

Remember the time Olamide banned Don Jazzy from the mainland and told him to #LeaveTrashForLawma? We do too! This beef which started at the 2015 Headies after Reekado Bankz (Mavin) won the next rated award over Lil Kesh (YBNL), was one of the biggest celebrity showdowns we’ve witnessed in real-time, and probably the last time people tuned in to watch that award show. The beef was so bad it got reactions from both Dangote and Obasanjo. Talk about impact! Who can forget the shady DJ who kept dropping diss tracks after each opponent made his point?

PSquare vs. PSquare vs. The Other Okoye Brother (2017)

Nollywood always hammered on the saying “Blood is thicker than water”, but in 2017, after many years of wowing audiences around the world with their love songs and dance moves, PSquare decided to break up and go their separate ways. But instead of keeping it classy, the brothers (and their other non-singing brother, Jude) dragged each other for filth on the interwebs. And in typical Nigerian fashion, their wives ended up catching stray bullets as agents of discord. While they recently reunited to post their bank account details and collect money on Twitter, fans are still holding out hope for a musical reunion.

Wizkid vs. Davido (2017)

Davido made fun of Wizkid for shooting his Come Closer video with an invisible Drake, and Wizkid called him “frog voice”. Wizkid went on to call Davido a “local artist”, to which Davido responded with a major flex, an American passport (God when?). The whole thing was so chaotic we enjoyed every single bit of it.

Tiwa Savage vs. Seyi Shay (2021)

Imagine going to the salon to get your hair done and then getting front row seats to the biggest celebrity showdown of 2021? A prime example of “maintaining the same energy offline”, the whole shebang happened when, after allegedly dissing Tiwa in a track, Seyi Shay decided to form familiarity at a salon. In a world star move, Tiwa called bullshit and proceeded to drag Seyi Shay by her edges.

Burna vs. Davido (2020)

It’s hard to pinpoint the origin of this beef. One minute, Burna Boy is attributing Davido’s success to daddy’s money, next thing, there’s a full-on wrestling match in a Ghanaian club. From Fem to Way Too Big, these two have been subbing each other for a while now. The pettiest part has to be when Davido posted a picture with Wizkid which he tagged “The two greatest of all time, no cap.” And we all know how Burna gets when his “African giant” status is not recognized. If you don’t get this, ask Coachella.

Conrad Johnson-Omodiagbe

November 26, 2021

Pop

Burna Boy, Celebrity, Davido, fight, Pop, psquare, tiwa savage, Wizkid
After keeping us waiting for six whole years, the queen of heartbreak finally dropped her 4th album, 30. Despite having eleven tracks that are sure to have you crying hot tears, we do realise that for some of you Nkiru Sylvanuses, that won’t be enough. Here are 6 dramatic Nigerian break-up songs for a total heartbreak experience.

Omoge Mi – PSquare

Once upon a time, these guys were the hottest thing on the music scene – even hotter than party jollof rice. Why? Well, they gave us hits like this classic about catching your girl red-handed with your best friend. Ouch!

Ego – Djinee

This guy literally said, “If I die now I go happy say, say when I dey this world I don fall in love”. Really? All you came to do in this world is give someone your mumu button? Interesting.

Bibanke – Asa

This song is for heartbreak that went to Harvard. You can’t play this because your crush aired you. Instead, we’ll advise you to save it for when he leaves you at the altar.

Not The Girl – Darey Art Alade

Another mature heartbreak song, Darey was in his peak heartbreak bag when he made this song. Complete with a suit and over-the-top piano, he sings about his girl switching up on him. It’s sad, but lowkey hilarious because isn’t change the only thing that’s constant about life?

Thunder Fire You – Ric Hassani

My favourite part of this song was the choir assisting Ric Hassani cussing out his ex. That ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call DEDICATION to being petty.

F*ck You – Kiss Daniel

We saved this for last because you can only play this song when you’re ready to move on. Once you play this, there are no tears left to cry. One day, Kiss Daniel will explain the breakfast he ate that motivated him to drag someone for filth like this.

Kindly seek spiritual help if all these songs don’t get you through your heartbreak.

Kizz Daniel made it into one of our #BumpThis playlists which drops every Friday. Subscribe to our newsletter for premium bum bum shaking, evening-wine-sipping songs.

Conrad Johnson-Omodiagbe

November 20, 2021

Pop

Adele, asa, music, Nigerian Songs, psquare
There’s no other or better way to put it: P-Square was iconic. The musical duo may have split now but back in the day, they gave us hit after hit.

Today we are ranking a few of their most iconic songs.

Personally

This song was what you call a moment. It was essentially a homage to the late king of pop, Michael Jackson, so it involved a lot of Michael Jackson-esque moves particularly from the smooth criminal era. This song – and accompanying video – had more than a few cringe moments but all around it was a bop.

Miss U Die

They don’t make bops like this anymore. God will bless whoever broke the P-Square brothers’ heart because that heartbreak gave us this iconic bop. I think this is easily one of their best songs.

Beautiful Onyinye

Where Miss U Die is a sad, I-miss-you song and all, Beautiful Onyinye is sort of a celebration of love. I loved this particular era of P-Square because they were sort of sitting at this intersection of pop and RnB and it was so good. I just feel bad for all the girls that were named Onyinye during this era.

Bizzy Body

Is this one of the best Nigerian songs from the early 2000s? I kind of think so. It is that good. And I think the best part is that it works as a club banger and a song you listen to and enjoy all by yourself and not many songs are that versatile.

Do Me

When I think ‘P-Square’ this is the song that comes to mind. This, I feel, is the ultimate P-Square banger. It is a bop and a half. It is so well-written, so well-delivered and is utterly iconic in every single way. If this isn’t at the top of your P-Square list then you, my darling, are a liar or just lacks taste.

Desmond

June 10, 2021

Pop

nigerian music, Pop, psquare, ranked
As kids, we did a lot of things that we look back on and shake our heads. Do you know the most hilarious one? Realizing that half the songs we were singing with passion as kids are unbelievably sexual, filthy or littered with sexual metaphors.

Today, we are going to take a look at some of those songs.

Do Me by P.Square

Maybe I am a little bit slow but it didn’t click in my head that the P-Square brothers were telling random women at the club to do them (as in, sleep with them). Do you know how shocked and gagged I was when I realized what I had sung along to all those years? God safe us.

Ur Waist by Iyanya

Unlike Do Me where a lot of us actually had no inkling, Ur Waist was much more overtly sexual and obvious. However, due to how popular and mainstream the song was, we still had many kids bumping and grinding to this despite how unbelievably inappropriate it was. Hell, I think I remember them playing this at children’s birthday parties.

Kerewa by Zule Zoo

I think I can say that a lot of us didn’t really know what Kerewa was about the first time we heard it. I know I definitely had no idea, and when I found out I was like, ‘surely, you lie!’ Turns out they weren’t lying, and we were spitting trash as kids. I think that explains a lot about our lives now.

Bizzy Body by P.Square

P.Square had a knack for making overtly sexual songs come across as very tame. This is hella impressive because the song had the lines ‘If I catch you, I go turn you on, when I grab you, to the break of dawn, you go loose control.’ I think at this point we can all agree that almost every song we listened to as kids were very sexual.

Kondo by Dagrin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UGGUpZelp8

This is a bop, I have to say that first of all. Secondly, this is possibly the most detailed sexual bop on this list, my God. There’s a line that goes ‘Na today, me and you go do it all’ and you know what? I stan.

Desmond

May 26, 2021

Pop

Nigerian Songs, Pop, psquare
The last time we gave you Mo’hits quiz, you destroyed it. Let’s see how well you perform on this one.

Only true P-Square fans should bother.

Let’s start:

Hassan Yahaya

May 30, 2020

Gbedu, Quizzes

Nostalgia, psquare, Quizzes
1. Showing us that messiness never lasts forever, The Okoyes, Peter, Paul and Jude recently moved to their luxury homes in Parkview, Ikoyi.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRYS-zWjs-8/?taken-by=rudeboypsquare

2. Shot by Kelechi Amadi-Obi, the twins, took to Instagram to show off the lavish, state-of-art furnished individual mansions.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRaPlCLAZPm/?taken-by=peterpsquare

3. Jude’s living room will make you drool.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRaNSgghCJg/?taken-by=judeengees

4. Peter’s house even comes with this tastefully furnished mini-cinema.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRYpAbSgPd_/?taken-by=peterpsquare

5. If this is an attempt to make us totally forget last year’s drama and come back to the lime light…

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRN06KiAsak/?taken-by=peterpsquare

6. It’s totally working!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRaV8pGAWq2/?taken-by=peterpsquare

7. Perhaps they have a new song titled, “My crib”.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRX9oClj4gE/?taken-by=rudeboypsquare

8. Honestly, truly, if this isn’t goals, we don’t know what else it is.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BRaOzkRB3d2/?taken-by=judeengees

Maryam

March 11, 2017

Oldies

Homes, Lagos, mansion, okoye, peter and paul, psquare
Believe us, we know 2016 has been very tough! From the economy that is dancing azonto to personal heartbreaks, we all need some form of inspiration before we finally get to sign out from 2016. These songs will do just that!
1. ‘Surulere’ -Dr Sid ft Donjazzy

Because there’s light at the end of 2016.
2. ‘Rise’ -Katy Perry

Don’t break! Victory is in your veins!
3. ‘Fight Song’ – Rachel Platten

For all of us who don’t plan on giving up. Ever!
4. ‘Bring It On’- PSquare

Hey 2016, is this all you’ve got?
5. ‘Alive’ – Sia

After everything, you are still alive. ALIVE!
6. ‘Great Nation’ – Timi Dakolo

Nigeria needs inspiration too abeg! She don suffer!
7. ‘Mercy’ – Banky W

Have mercy, Lord!
8. ‘The Sun Is Rising’ – Britt Nicole

You’re gonna make it! Just hold on!
9. ‘Bang My Head’ – David Guetta Ft Sia, Fetty Wap

You’ll rise above it all, we promise. Don’t actually bang your head against the wall, please and thank you!
10. ‘Life (Walaahi)’ – R2Bees

‘So keep doing whachu doing and don’t watch nobody!’

Shola

November 2, 2016

Oldies

2016, bankyw, Inspirational, New year, psquare, sia, songs
First, the music duo fired their manager, who is also their brother. Then they split because of the same family drama.
Now to cement that they’re not joking, Peter dropped his first solo single on March 8.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMroyGYqQ8A
The song is about his swag and how people wants to know how he does his thing. You know, the usual danceable song.
Peter also has a new name. It’s Mr P!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC-KvRGysBh/

Paul Okoye dropped his own single seven days later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0E69RJOPPM
Paul aka Rudeboy, pours out his heart in this song “Call Heaven“. In it, he expresses his feelings about the ongoing drama.
Paul also posted this photo of his mum on Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC6-J2Yxvkv/

In his song, Paul remembers the promise he made to his mum. And he wished both his parents were still alive.

In the meantime, Peter now has a new manager.

His name is Olatunde Michael. He was previously the Head of Channel at Soundcity, as well as a Station Manager for Trace TV Nigeria.
Man! They seem to be saying “Up yours” to each other.

The situation looks final too! Things will never remain the same.

[zkk_poll post=23619 poll=content_block_standard_format_8]

chioma

March 15, 2016

Gist

jude okoye, p square, paul okoye, peter okoye, psquare