Prison break | Zikoko!

It’s well-established by now that it’s dangerous to leave the Buhari government to think about anything by themselves. So, it’s no surprise that the president is now considering a nationwide ban on okada operations. Why? To fight insecurity, of course. The logic is that banning motorcycles makes it harder for terrorists to operate in the manner they currently do.

The government believes banning okada is a small price for Nigerians to pay to finally say goodbye to killings across the country. This got us thinking about how many more things the government should ban to achieve its goal.

If we were allowed to be part of the National Security Council (NSC), here are the things we’d recommend for banning so that peace can reign.

Poverty

Poverty undoubtedly provides a steady supply of recruits for terrorism and crime in general. It’s easier to convince someone that has nothing going for them to enlist for a life of destruction. Building a more prosperous country for all automatically blocks this pipeline and insecurity would quickly reduce as a result. It’s simple maths.

But the only reason it’d be hard for the government to ban poverty and build a prosperous country is that they’d have to actually put in stellar work to pull it off. But alas….

Amnesty programmes

“Go and sin no more” has become a strategy that the Buhari government has perfected for the worst sinners. The Federal Government has its Operation Safe Corridor programme for repentant Boko Haram terrorists, and some state governors have also offered amnesty deals to terrorists in their territories. Even a wanted terrorist with a ₦5 million bounty on his head recently scored a chieftaincy title in Zamfara.

There’s nothing to show that these peace deals for terrorists are working, so it’s time to put an end to them. Send terrorists to prison or to God.

ALSO READ: Zamfara State Gives Award for “Best in Terrorism”

Prison breaks

Speaking of prison, Nigeria has been failing miserably to keep criminals in prison while they await trial or serve their prison terms. More than 4,000 prison inmates who have escaped since 2020 are still on the streets. It’d be nice if the government actually focuses on excelling at things within its control. No more prison breaks, please.

5G

It’s already been blamed for a global pandemic, so what’s one more thing in Nigeria? 5G has actually had a tough time finding a home here, and we may as well just ban it so that terrorists don’t have access to even better connectivity to make the government look even more incompetent.

Firecrackers and knockouts

Since we’re just banning anything now

Firecrackers have already tasted bans in some states so it wouldn’t even be shocking to fully ban them. Firecrackers already sound like guns and explosives. If you’re thinking like the Nigerian government, you want to ban them now before they develop minds of their own and grow to become guns and bombs.

Lai Mohammed

You can’t defeat insecurity with lies and propaganda. And there’s something about Lai Mohammed always claiming Nigeria’s security is improving that feels like it’s adding to the problem. To do better at tackling insecurity, we need to stop people who may hide the truth about the situation. And who better to start with than Lai?

Ban it

ALSO READ: Buhari’s Weirdest Decisions We Thought Were April Fool’s Day Jokes But Weren’t

Samson Toromade

July 22, 2022

Citizen

ban, Buhari, Lai Mohammed, Muhammadu Buhari, Prison break, Sapa
A prison break is only fun when it happens in a movie. It’s actually a horror show when prison inmates break out into the streets in real life.

Ever since a mob attacked two prisons in Edo State to liberate nearly 2,000 inmates in October 2020, there have been similar prison attacks in Imo, Oyo, Plateau and Kogi.

The Boko Haram attack on Kuje prison in Abuja joined this infamous list on July 5th, 2022, freeing hundreds of inmates, including convicted terrorists, from custody.

The trend of prison attacks has left more than 4,000 escapees loose on the streets of Nigeria.

ALSO READ: What Just Happened in Kuje Prison?

Prison management is the responsibility of the Minister of Interior, Rauf Aregbesola, who’s rightfully worried about the unrelenting attacks. While speaking at a retreat in June 2022, the minister said the government is working on new strategies to complement the old ones in ensuring every escapee is returned to custody.

How’s the Nigerian government planning to recapture thousands of escaped prison inmates?

Releasing their pictures to the public

The most obvious way to make hiding difficult for escaped inmates is to make their faces public enough so they can’t move around freely. The success of this strategy is heavily reliant on the cooperation of members of the public who the government expect to report sightings of escapees. This is how many inmates, including some from Kuje, have been recaptured.

Coordinating with Interpol

Everyone in Nigeria wants to japa — even prison inmates. This is where Interpol comes in, to catch prison escapees trying to flee the country to live happily ever after.

Aregbesola also promised that Nigeria will continue to strengthen its coordination with Interpol to block the japa wave of fugitives.

Tracking their digital footprints

Another one of Nigeria’s strategies for recapturing escaped prison inmates is by tracking their digital footprints as they move around. This involves a collaboration between the government and financial institutions (e.g. banks). The government uses agencies like the Nigerian Financial Intelligence Unit (NFIU) for this purpose.

Keeping efficient DNA bank

This is one of the government’s newer strategies to have greater control and ease the process of recapturing escaped inmates. Aregbesola said the government will make the DNA database of inmates more efficient. This will make their tracking and identification easier when they escape. The minister has been vague on how this will work.

Begging them to return

When all else fails, the Nigerian government isn’t too ashamed to beg escaped inmates to make their job easier for them by just surrendering. Such public pleas are usually served with a side threat that basically says, “Surrender before I have to find you!”

These pleas are also sometimes accompanied by promises to never prosecute them for escaping prison which is a crime on its own.

ALSO READ: Why Nigeria Is Accepting Deported Criminals to Keep UK Safe

Samson Toromade

July 15, 2022

Citizen

boko haram, Japa, Prison break, Prison inmates