power | Zikoko!

Queue to withdraw your own money, buy food, do your laundry, pay bills and even collect change. Why all this? You could be channeling that time into securing the bag. *Squeezes face*

1. Disrupts your plans

Don’t bother accepting invitations anywhere, because by the time it gets to your turn on long queues, the event will be over.

2. Annoying attendants

Even when you make up your mind to just be patient till it gets to your turn, there’s always that one annoying person who is sluggish in attending to you.

3. Steals your beauty

The glow you left your house with will vanish after spending 5 hours in the sun queuing for one minor thing.

4. It gets longer

Just when you think it’s almost your turn, the queue will supernaturally get longer. *Suffers in silence*

5. Theft

Don’t be surprised to discover your phone or money missing after struggling to maintain your spot on a queue. Questions like “how?” and “who?” will flood your mind as you weep.

6. Waste of precious time

This one is very painful. You’ve waited and waited till you lost weight for your turn only for the attendant to suddenly disappear. It’s not their fault.

Don’t let queues steal your joy. Simplify your life and reduce the amount of time spent queuing to pay for stuff like electricity bills. Visit www.buypower.ng and thank us later.

Here’s what makes BuyPower cool:
- If you’re broke and need power to work, simply buy electricity with a loan.
- Out of data? Buy directly from your bank with USSD.
- You’d be able to gift the love of your life electricity so they don’t have to drag generator.
- Set reminders so your bills don’t catch you by surprise.
Visit www.buypower.ng today.
Susan Nwaobiala

April 16, 2021

Inside Life

Nigeria, power, Queues, Sponsored Post
Recently, while watching a TV programme, I saw a man being gifted an electric bike in a raffle draw, while I was pretty excited for him, I couldn’t help but wonder how weird this gift was considering the power situation in Nigeria.

So began the foray of various scenarios in my head:

Imagine if he was on 3rd mainland bridge and the battery got low while in dense traffic. Is this not gbege liadis?

How about when he wants to recharge? There ain’t no charging station for that purpose in this country! Even if there was, the epileptic power issues will pose a serious problem.

Just imagine how his electricity bill will triple once he constantly charges it.

What of when this electric bike needs maintenance and he takes it to the mechanic? Considering some of these roadside mechanics don’t even know how to repair ordinary Volkswagen’s Beetle how will they maintain his precious bike? Ha!

Okay, let’s assume he decides to sell it off – because cash flow – who will buy it from him? That thing will tey in his hands o.

Remember, when a certain senator proposed a bill to import electric vehicles into the country and was laughed out of senate? Yeah, well, he gave his constituents and a patron of his cinema, who was lucky enough to win the raffle draw, this motorcycle. Who is laughing last now?

Gabriella Opara

October 14, 2019

General

Electric bike, Nigeria, power
1. When PHCN thinks people will refer to them as PHCN even though still exhibit NEPA behaviour.

2. When there is no light to pump water, so you have to start fetching water in your area.

3. When you have to charge all your electronic gadgets in the office because the only light in your house is from torchlights.

4. When your fridge has turned to a cupboard because there is never light.

5. When you have to sleep without light and your room is like a sauna.

6. And now the mosquitoes are using your body as a buffet.

7. When you are still paying for cable but there is never light to watch it.

8. When you find out how much diesel is now and your wallet starts shedding tears.

9. When you can finally afford petrol/diesel for your generator and then the rope cuts.

10. And PHCN still has the guts to bring ridiculous bills for you to pay.

Jola Ayeye

January 27, 2017

Oldies

Funny, Light, list, NEPA, phcn, power
1. When it officially becomes this bad:

The worst.
2. When you haven’t seen light for weeks and they still have the liver to bring bill to your house.

Better leave this place.
3. When they now come and say they want to cut the light.

You want to die.
4. When you finally open your freezer and the smell hits you.

Chineke!
5. When your neighbour puts on their generator and you carry all your gadgets to their door like:

Abeg!
6. When they bring light and it is low current.

What’s now the point?
7. How your eyes react when they finally bring light after weeks.

It’s a miracle.
8. When they bring the light and you run to your iron like:

Thank you, God.
9. When you wake up in the middle of the night drowning in your sweat.

Is this how I will die?
10. When you start staying late at work because you know you’re going home to meet darkness.

The lesser of two evils.
11. When they finally bring light, but the weather is not having it.

https://twitter.com/imDaveChuks/status/717809902350114816

12. When you see light as you’re heading home and they take it right before you reach your house.

My enemies want to see me cry.
13. When the first thing you do when you enter a building is to search for where to charge your phone.

How far socket, biko?

Daniel Orubo

April 8, 2016

Oldies

Africa, nepa. light, Nigeria, phcn, power, torture

1. Disrupts your plans

2. Annoying attendants

3. Steals your beauty

4. It gets longer

5. Theft

6. Waste of precious time

Imagine if he was on 3rd mainland bridge and the battery got low while in dense traffic. Is this not gbege liadis?

How about when he wants to recharge? There ain’t no charging station for that purpose in this country! Even if there was, the epileptic power issues will pose a serious problem.

Just imagine how his electricity bill will triple once he constantly charges it.

What of when this electric bike needs maintenance and he takes it to the mechanic? Considering some of these roadside mechanics don’t even know how to repair ordinary Volkswagen’s Beetle how will they maintain his precious bike? Ha!

Okay, let’s assume he decides to sell it off – because cash flow – who will buy it from him? That thing will tey in his hands o.

1. When PHCN thinks people will refer to them as PHCN even though still exhibit NEPA behaviour.

2. When there is no light to pump water, so you have to start fetching water in your area.

3. When you have to charge all your electronic gadgets in the office because the only light in your house is from torchlights.

4. When your fridge has turned to a cupboard because there is never light.

5. When you have to sleep without light and your room is like a sauna.

6. And now the mosquitoes are using your body as a buffet.

7. When you are still paying for cable but there is never light to watch it.

8. When you find out how much diesel is now and your wallet starts shedding tears.

9. When you can finally afford petrol/diesel for your generator and then the rope cuts.

10. And PHCN still has the guts to bring ridiculous bills for you to pay.

1. When it officially becomes this bad:

2. When you haven’t seen light for weeks and they still have the liver to bring bill to your house.

3. When they now come and say they want to cut the light.

4. When you finally open your freezer and the smell hits you.

5. When your neighbour puts on their generator and you carry all your gadgets to their door like:

6. When they bring light and it is low current.

7. How your eyes react when they finally bring light after weeks.

8. When they bring the light and you run to your iron like:

9. When you wake up in the middle of the night drowning in your sweat.

10. When you start staying late at work because you know you’re going home to meet darkness.

11. When they finally bring light, but the weather is not having it.

12. When you see light as you’re heading home and they take it right before you reach your house.

13. When the first thing you do when you enter a building is to search for where to charge your phone.