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period | Zikoko!
  • Why Are Periods So Annoying? Getting Stained Is a Bitch

    There’s nothing as infuriating as an unexpected period stain. She strolls in like unsolicited debit alerts you receive on a day you decide to casually breathe in Lagos. One minute you’re feeling secure in your double-layered pad and the next, your uterus decides to disgrace you. 

    But let’s rant about it together. In this article, seven women share their most annoying experiences with getting stained, starting with mine.

    “Let’s not even get into how I left the okada man’s seat covered in blood”

    There hasn’t been a more shameful experience for me than when I got stained in light brown khaki pants at 16. I was at uni for registrations, and I didn’t realise I was stained until a woman randomly pulled me to the corner and told me. I was so embarrassed. Mostly because I didn’t know how long I’d been walking around with a patch of blood on my bum.

    The worst part was trying to get home. I was in a completely different city from my parents, so all I had were relations to ask for help. I called my uncle in a panic to pick me up, but he didn’t come because I couldn’t tell him exactly why it was an emergency. When I called his wife to explain, she said I was being dramatic. 

    RELATED: 11 Things That Come With Periods

    Bolt wasn’t as popular in 2014, so I ended up hopping three buses and flying a bike to get home. I held a clerk bag against my bum through the whole journey in an attempt to cover my shame — a tad dramatic. And let’s not even get into how I left the okada man’s seat covered in blood.

    — Ortega, 23

    “My underwear was drenched at the bank”

    Last Tuesday, I decided to take the risk of not wearing a pad on the fifth day of my cycle. I knew it was a risky move, but at this point, I’d had three months of my five-day cycle suddenly becoming four. I trusted that I was completely done. 

    Then, I got to the bank and felt that irritating burst of blood you get when your period randomly shows up. I was so uncomfortable, but I needed to sort out the issues with my account. And the customer service was so slow. By the time the guy was done, my underwear was drenched.

    RELATED: 7 Things About Periods That Are More Annoying Than Bleeding

    But I think the most frustrating part was getting back home an hour later, putting on a pad and realising the blood had stopped. Like the 45 minutes I’d sat with soaked underwear at the bank didn’t just happen.

    — Lola, 26

    “I started my period again after five years”

    When I was 45, I unexpectedly had my period almost five years after it had stopped. It started with cramps, but the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They attributed it to some kind of transition to menopause. I spent a week in my room in a lot of pain. 

    A week later, the blood started to flow and caught me off guard. I didn’t even understand how it was possible. The doctors said it happened occasionally to women my age. 

    RELATED: Navigating Sex As A Perimenopausal Divorcee

    It had been years since I put on a pad, so of course, it shifted as I went from meeting to meeting the next day. And that’s how I ended up with a stained dress at an important client meeting. It wasn’t horrible because we were friends. But I was past the age for all that crap of period stains.

    — Julie, 49

    “I couldn’t go home because there was so much work to do”

    In February 2022, I had to be out for fieldwork at Oniru beach. My flow is usually heavy, but I was sure I’d be fine until about noon. I was on the bus until 8 a.m., and I didn’t know I was badly stained on the ride until a random woman on the beach told me.

    I changed my pad, but I couldn’t leave because we had a lot of work to do. And everyone on my team was a guy, so it was very awkward. I ended up walking around with a huge stain on my light blue jeans. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like digging myself into a hole as much as I did on that day.

    — Deola, 27

    RELATED: I Tried Out Every Type Of Menstrual Product

    “I didn’t know how to handle getting stained in a class full of boys”

    My mum never really liked to talk about periods or puberty. I learnt most of what I needed from friends. But I didn’t know how to handle getting stained in a class full of boys. I was 18 and in my second year of engineering at uni when it happened. 

    Engineering boys are already annoying, so getting stained during a class and not knowing is the worst. And then having one of them tell you about it is the cherry on top. The guys made it seem like it was unnatural with their awkward stares. So I actually cried. Mostly because of my rep, but I also felt unprepared because I’d been in an all-girls secondary school.

    — Ashley, 19

    RELATED: What Your Favourite Sanitary Product Says About You

    “I didn’t use pads until I was 18. My mum also didn’t use them”

    I didn’t use pads until I was 18. My mum also didn’t use them. She taught me to use tissue paper or clothes and they weren’t the best absorbents for a heavy flow. 

    The one time I really got frustrated was when my mum sent me on one of her long errands and I got stained. I was 14 at the time and so upset. The market was rowdy, so that made it stressful to deal with. I had to walk back home with a stained skirt and blood practically dripping down my legs.

    — Peace, 53

    RELATED: 6 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Better When She Is On Her Period

    “It didn’t make sense because I used a panty liner”

    I got stained at church this month (2022). On my calendar, I had two more days until my next period. But I wore a pant liner just in case it came earlier. And I confidently put on a yellow dress for church. When it was time for offering, a babe randomly dragged me to her seat to let me know I was stained.

    It was such a huge stain and it didn’t make sense because I had pantyliners on for goodness sake. I had to beg the lady for her scarf to cover myself and take a bike home. With how irregular my periods are, it was the day I wore a yellow dress it decided to be punctual.

    — Sara*, 21

    ALSO READ: My Period Is Trying to Kill Me, and I’m Expected to Work Through It

  • Every Girl Craves at Least One of These 8 Things During Her Period

    Romantic partners are always asking for ways to help with the stress of periods. In this article, we’re giving you the scoop. Here are eight things women crave during their period. Apply with caution sha, as every woman likes different things.

    1. Money

    At the end of the day, money stops nonsense. If you really want to help, start by crediting her account. Dollars is the best way to go but she can also manage Naira. 

    2. Sex

    From the days leading up to the period and a few days in between, women get super horny. It’s ironic because sex is the exact reason your uterus is trying to kill you, so maybe it’s karma? Like your uterus is telling you,  “Since you didn’t fuck to get me pregnant, I’ll make you horny and you can’t do anything about it! I dare you to try me!” Why does our body love working against us? If you’re freaky enough to try it, come and tell us on Sex Life.

    RELATED: Sex Life: I Was Missing Out Because I Hated My Body

    3. Wickedness

    We have to balance the scales of nature. Why are we suffering for five days and you’re smiling? No. You too must suffer. Don’t take it personal; it’s not about you. 

    4. Everything sweet

    If it’s not chocolate, it’s sweets or ice cream. The funny part is how we convince ourselves that the calories don’t matter because the bloating will go away. Then two weeks after your period, you’ve gained 10 kg. Honestly, I’m tired.

    5. Pepper

    Apart from showing you pepper, she has to eat it. There’s something about spicy pepper soup or spicy noodles that does the trick. So if you don’t know how to cook any of these foods, please stay away from us. 

    RELATED: Eating My Way Through My Period

    6. Hot water flasks

    If you can’t cook, buy her a hot water flask and make sure it’s always within reach. The heat helps with horrible cramps. If she has horrible cramps and you help her with this, she’ll love you forever.

    7. Sleep

    Trying to sleep on your period is difficult but when it comes, it’s the best thing that can happen… at least until our uterus stabs you back to life.

    8. Absolutely nothing

    Leave her alone! Yes. Sometimes, she just wants the world to disappear. So just doing nothing is fine. Don’t talk to her, look at her or even think about her. If you do decide to gift her anything, leave it at the door and go away.

    CONTINUE READING: 7 Things That Belong In A Period Care Package

  • Period Apps Need To Start Making These 7 Predictions

    We’ve talked about a version of period apps as a typical Nigerian aunty. This time, we want a version that has some more skills. Not another “You may be experiencing blah blah” notification. We already know there’s going to be bloating, diarrhea and shitty cramps, so predict something else. Here are seven other notifications about the future women would like to see.

    1. “Chill sis, you’re not pregnant…yet”

    You know those period predictions suck right? One minute you’re having the time of your life, then two weeks later, you’re on your knees begging God for one last chance. This is exactly when you need to come in and tell us to chill. Okay?

    2. “You’re definitely getting stained today. Stay home”

    Don’t just tell us our flow is heavy. Period apps need to start predicting when a tampon or sanitary pad will fuck us up on the streets so we can plan ahead. Do you get it? 

    5. “Mama, your destiny is under attack, bend down and pray”

    An app can monitor our blood but it can’t monitor our enemies? Nawa. Why can’t period apps tell us when our village people are about to plot against our future, please? 

    4. “Your next heartbreak will happen in… ”

    If period apps can predict your breasts being tender, why can’t it predict when you will eat hot breakfast again? Help us stay wicked on these streets Flo. Be that big aunty consulting oracles on our behalves.

    3. “It’s your safe period, but it’s not really safe o”

    Haven’t we all that moment we think it’s ‘go time’ but eventually ends in tears? These apps need to start letting us know when their calendars are lying about safe periods. Some of you are 18 years too late, praying for you guys, but the rest of us need help.

    6. “Your destiny helper is located in…”

    Don’t you deserve money? We know period apps are built for telling us about periods. But after five to seven long days of suffering, can’t there be some consolation? Like letting me know where I can locate premium enjoyment. If I can’t afford to be my own sugar mummy, at least tell me where the helper will be.

    7. “You will meet the love of your life in…”

    If an app can map out your period for the next two years, why on earth can’t it tell you when you’ll meet the love of your life? Tell that app bye today sis.

  • 7 Ways Your Period App Would Send Notifications as a Nigerian Aunty

    Period apps are like the ‘oyinbo’ version of an aunty we can never relate to in Nigeria. She’s so sweet with her notifications — Nigerian aunties chose violence. If Nigerian aunties took over the period apps, these are some of the notifications women would be getting.

    1. “Guard your virginity. Don’t disgrace your family outside.”

    This is for when it’s your safe period to have sex. A Nigerian aunty will never pass up the opportunity to tell you to remember the home you came from. There might even be a feature to drag your ears.

    2. “You’re ripe enough. When will you give us grandchildren?”

    Once you’re above 25, the notification for ovulation period will start changing. It’s either this one or “Let me introduce you to my friend’s son. He’s a doctor.” Then she’ll show you the statistics of all your mates getting married.

    3. “I hope you’re wearing pant today sha.”

    This is for all the ladies that hate wearing pant. A few days to your period and our Nigerian version of Aunty Flo will be shouting. Stop stressing her please.

    4. “Are you the first woman with period cramps, stop complaining.”

    If an aunty doesn’t invalidate your pain, she’s not Nigerian at all. They’re own is to be shouting “Are you the first woman to ….” up and down.

    5. “Ehm madam. Why is your period late? Explain.”

    LOL. The app can deck you if you forget to update the app on day 1 of your period.

    6. “Just look at your stomach. At your age I was trekking from Cotonou to Nigeria.”

    You can’t even rest when you’re just bloated. Normal period apps will calmly notify you about exercises to try, but a Nigerian aunty must drag you first.

    7. “All these wigs and you’re still too broke to upgrade me.”

    This is for those of us that will probably never pay for the upgraded version of our period apps. She will remind us of the times we spent money on things that don’t concern her.

  • 7 Things About Periods That Are More Annoying Than Bleeding

    A lot of people tend to believe that the worse part of periods is the bleeding. Sure, waking up in a pool of your own blood isn’t great, but there are definitely things worse.

    1) Cramps

    Periods are extremely painful and for what? Uterine wall shedding should not cause as much pain as it sometimes does. Whoever thought to include cramps in the period package needs to be flogged.

    2) Mood swings

    Happy now and then you’re angry in two minutes. You decide to watch a comedy but you’rre crying because a character fell down. You’re a mess because your hormones are using your emotions to play tinko-tinko. It sucks.

    3) Bloating

    You might be fasting for months, but your stomach will be in a constant state of heaviness. Feeling full is an understatement. It’s almost like someone pumped your stomach with gas.

    4) Diarrhoea

    We all agree that pooping is one of the least creative ways our body passes waste. No imagination, no flavour. Quite robotic actually. With periods, not only do you have to engage in the most boring activity, but it will happen multiple times in a day.

    5) Cravings

    Pineapple juice that you used to drink when you were five years old is suddenly the only thing on your mind. In fact, the cravings can consume you. It’s all you’d be able to think about until you satisfy the craving. You’d think that kind of thing was limited to pregnant women only, but Mother Nature delights in causing trouble.

    6) Painful breasts

    If someone mistakenly hits your breasts when you are on your period, you’d be overcome by a world of pain. Tender and painful breasts are definitely worse than changing a pad a couple of times because of blood.

    7) Fatigue

    No matter how long you sleep, you still wake up tired. The smallest task seems like it will take a mountain of energy. Your eyes are half closed all the time because your body just wants to rest.

    [donation]

  • What Your Favourite Sanitary Product Says About You

    The kinds of sanitary products you use during your period has a lot to say about the kind of person you are. It’s a scientific fact.

    1) Pads

    You’re someone who doesn’t really like deviating from the norm. Pads were the first thing you were introduced to, and they seem less hassle free and complicated than the rest. Trying new things is not your forte, but loyalty to your day ones is. You might also be an Arsenal fan.

    2) Tampons

    You like action and a little bit of adventure. You feel like life will be boring if you let something like a period limit the kind of things you can do. You’re also willing to put in the work for the kind of life you want, and we respect that. It might get a bit uncomfortable at times, but for you, the reward is greater. You’re full of action and doings.

    3) Menstrual cups

    You’re in the same category as people who use Apple watches. All of you act like you have the cheat codes for life, and we’d like for you to share with us. You’re not above leaving situations that don’t work for you and that’s Queen energy.

    4) Period panties

    You are scary, but you shouldn’t be. People tend to mistake you for a bitch, but you’re one of the sweetest souls to ever exist. They just have to break through the barrier of miscommunication. The people that are worth it will find you, and love you just as you are.

    5) No product

    You’re a very free spirit and the kind of person to befriend a stranger at the bar and become their child’s godparent. Everyone loves you, and it’s because you’re very accommodating and non-judgemental. Everyone in your friend group knows that when you’re around, it’s going to be a great time.

    6) Menstrual disc

    You think you’re better than everyone. A lot of people might call you a snob, and they’re not entirely wrong. It’s not your fault, it’s how you’re made.

    7) Mixing products

    If you use more than one product for the duration of your period, then you are not someone that could be trusted with making choices. You’re very indecisive and it can be a very endearing trait. People love you for your impulse, but sometimes it’s the reason they hate you.

    [donation]

  • 8 Nigerian Women Talk About Why They Free Bleed

    In an article about the first time Nigerian women used tampons, one of the subjects, Voke said that she free bleeds when she’s alone and out of tampons. A lot of people in our WhatsApp groups and on Twitter were confused about what free bleeding means. Free bleeding is simply the act of letting your blood flow without any period products like pads, tampons or cups. People free bleed as a form of protest to pink tax or because there is no alternative available to them. We spoke to eight Nigerian women about why they choose to free bleed and here’s what they had to say: 

    Bimbo, 25

    I started free bleeding in March 2021 because I ran out of tampons and pads. It was late, and honestly, I was too tired to make the trip to the store. Also, it was my third day. I wore a panty liner and went to bed. 

    I usually wake up in the middle of the night to take 400mg of Ibuprofen because of period cramps, but that night I didn’t need to. I felt at ease, which was so unusual. 

    The next month, I decided to try free bleeding again. I bought period pants on Amazon. The first two days of my period are heavy, so it ended up messy — I stained myself a lot but I noticed my cramps reduced. My cramps went from a level 8 to a level 3.

    Instead of taking drugs, I used hot water bottles on my tummy and my back to reduce the cramps. In May, I did the same thing and it was smoother this time because I knew what to expect. I’ve been free bleeding since then. I use pads when I’m not at home but never tampons. 

    Isoken, 20

    I started free bleeding in 2020. I do it because pads usually give me rashes and tampons are uncomfortable for me. I don’t free bleed all the time, but I feel a lot better on the days I can.  

    Tee, 21

    I have terrible cramps. In August 2021, I searched for sustainable remedies for my cramps and found an article on free bleeding. After reading it, I decided to give it a shot. I haven’t looked back since then. 

    I free bleed in my room. My period lasts for five days, and I rarely leave my room so the chances of traumatising anyone is low. Since I started, my cramps have been significantly lighter.

    Chi, 23

    I just do it because I can. Some people wear period panties while they free bleed but I don’t — I lay naked and tuck some old t-shirts or towels around me. If it’s an especially heavy day, I rinse off a lot in the shower. 

    Nicole, 25

    In 2020, my period reduced from seven days of heavy flow to four days. It made choosing free bleeding easier. 

    The first day of my flow is usually light and my period sometimes catches me unaware. So most times, I end up free bleeding on the first day. I also free bleed during the last days because, at this point, there’s little to no blood. Pads and tampons are generally uncomfortable, so whenever I can, I just let the blood flow. 

    Mimi, 20

    I had my first period when I was 12. I was able to take care of myself, but I had a problem — pads caused a rash on my vulva. I could bear period cramps but the burn from the rash was insane. 

    One Saturday afternoon when I was 16, I decided not to wear pads after changing for the third time that day. I wore my briefs and spread a folded blanket on my bed. When I woke up, I noticed I only spotted a little and didn’t have cramps. I disinfected the blanket and steamed it in the dryer before trying it again.  I noticed the burning stopped and my cramps were minimal. Since then, I have been free bleeding on and off during my periods. My mum got me a macintosh bed sheet so I don’t soil my bed. I make sure to disinfect my sheets and my room whenever I free bleed. 

    IB, 25

    I really can’t be wearing uncomfortable stuff in my bum all day. I don’t get my period all the time because of PCOS. When the period comes, it’s light so I free bleed, especially on the last days.

    Blessing, 21

    I’ve never been a fan of sanitary pads. Most of them make me itch, and I have to keep readjusting so they won’t fall off. I’ve tried almost every brand of sanitary pads available in Nigeria, and everyone feels the same, so I just free bleed. I love it because my vagina is able to breathe. I really can’t imagine myself wearing a pad for six to seven days, especially at night when NEPA decides to fuck up. I use clothes and try to monitor the stains. It’s also the cheapest option if you ask me. 

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  • 5 Nigerian Women Talk About Their First Time Using Tampons

    The question of whether or not to use tampons instead of pads is one many women can relate to. In this article, five Nigerian women talk about their first time using tampons

    tampon bleeding

    Tare, 21

    I got my first tampon when I was 19. I found them to be really comfortable. I don’t have to wear a pant while I am wearing tampons. When I used pads, I got stained a lot but I rarely get stained wearing a tampon. I can sleep in whatever position I like. 

    The only issue I have with tampon usage is it tends to make my cramps a bit more painful, compared to when I use a pad. 

    Peace, 24

    I used to always get pad rash when I was younger and I hated how pads felt. One day, my friend and I saw tampons at the mall and we decided to try them. I was 18 at that time. It made me feel free. I haven’t used pads since then. 

    The best part about tampons is not feeling anything in your vagina during your period. I hate my periods so tampons will always win for me. 

    Somi, 19

    I went to stay with my friend sometime in April. She uses Tampons and seemed comfortable so I decided to try them for myself. They are the most comfortable period product to me. I don’t like that people aren’t enlightened about it. They see the stick and immediately assume it’s uncomfortable. I am able to pee, swim and have sex unlike when I am wearing a pad. Right now, there’s nothing I hate about it. 

    Bibi, 16

    In April, I had a swimming competition and my period started that morning. I had heard about tampons but never tried them. That day, I had no option but to use it. Since then, I have been loyal to tampons. They are absolutely lovely and super convenient. 

    You just have to make sure you insert it properly and remember to change it frequently. Also, buy the correct tampon for your flow or else you will get stained.  

    Voke, 25

    I started using tampons because pads made me itch. In 2013, I saw a tampon for the first time in Benin City and I bought it. I didn’t know anyone who used tampons but I was desperate for an alternative. I tried it when I was alone and I got stained that day. The next day, I tried squatting before inserting the tampon and it worked. Since then, I haven’t used pads exclusively. I only use pads if I am out of tampons and in a rush. If I don’t need to be outside and there are no tampons around, I free bleed. This means I bleed on a cloth and stay indoors. It actually helps my cramps.

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  • 11 Things That Come With Periods

    Periods are a pain in the ass, literally. Here’s a list of 11 things that come with periods. 

    1. Anal cramps

    As if abdominal cramps and bleeding aren’t enough, a person still has to deal with their asshole aching. It’s so weird. 

    2. Acne 

    Acne is so persistent. Some people get acne before their period, and it stays until their period has ended. Honestly, if you think about it, we only have one week to ourselves. If it’s not PMS, it’s period

    3. Bigger breasts 

    This is a plus. They are always so full and soft to touch. 

    4. Sore breasts 

    The downside to bigger breasts is the soreness. It hurts to touch. Some people’s nipples hurt throughout their periods. Again, who designed this?

    5. Tears 

    After ovulation, experts believe that there is a drop in the production of estrogen and progesterone, which leads to a drop in serotonin levels. That’s why it’s so easy for you to tear up during your period. 

    6. Sugar cravings 

    Period brings cravings for sweet things like chocolate, sweetened yoghurt or ice cream. This is why money should be in a period care package

    7. Bloating 

    Bloating is so annoying and arguably the most unnecessary side effect of periods. I wonder why they haven’t classified this thing as an illness yet. 

    woman in pain

    8. Diarrhoea

    Imagine having anal cramps and diarrhoea at the same time. All because your body is trying to say, “I am not pregnant” 

    9. Fever 

    Some people develop a high temperature during their periods alongside headaches and muscle pain. 

    10. Nausea

    This might just be the worst period symptom. Like why? Am I pregnant or not?

     11. Horniness 

    Period konji is live. That’s why period sex is a thing. If you know you know (I don’t know). 

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  • 7 Reasons Why Sanitary Product Ads Are Annoying

    Have you ever seen some sanitary product ads and are immediately filled with anger, rage and irritation? Well, these seven reasons are probably why.

    1) Why is everyone so happy?

    There are very few people I know who do not hate their periods. Why are the ads always showing women who are somehow excited at the possibility of bleeding for at least three days straight? Even if you had a pregnancy scare and your period just showed up, you won’t be as happy as the women in these ads.

    2) Nobody ever talks about the pain

    The ads never talk about how painful periods are. It is not a gift, it feels more like a curse than anything. Sanitary product ads should talk more about period pain.

    3) It is so unrealistic

    Nothing about their ads seem realistic enough for you to actually feel like it is marketed towards you. Whoever is in charge of their marketing teams need to reevaluate and ask themselves why they’re trying so hard to dilute.

    4) The singing

    Who approves of this? Why are there young girls running around in uniforms dancing because of their periods? Make it make sense.

    Why?

    5) Not informational enough

    When pad ads come up, they’re only ever talking about how absorbent it is, but pads are more than just absorbency. They hardly ever discuss things like itchiness and how adhesive the glue is. Just absorbency and vibes. Now you know the pad can be used for 8 hours, but you won’t be able to wear it for more than 2 hours because of how uncomfortable they are.

    6) Not enough diversity in products

    The title might say sanitary product ads, but anything other than pads is hardly ever advertised. People need more tampons, menstrual cups, period panties ads. The only option isn’t bad, and we need the ads to show that.

    7) They dance

    One question, why? Why will a period make you dance? It is unnecessary.

    how annoying are you?

    [donation]

  • How To Survive Your Period

    Periods are always a struggle to get through. Here is HER’s guide on how to survive your period:


    zikoko crying meme

    1. Demand a break from work or school. 

    They should be giving you breaks anyway. They will be fine in your absence, you are not the one that kuku built the company or the school for them.

    bitch zikoko meme

    2. Tell everybody to fuck off 

    This way you can avoid anybody getting on your nerves and making you cry. You already have swollen tits to worry about. 

    sad zikoko meme

    3. Use your last 5k to settle your cravings 

    You will figure out how to survive later. Now, you need to survive your period. 

    plotting evil zikoko meme

    4. Open a savings account for your hysterectomy 

    Think about it. If you didn’t have a womb, then no periods. We know it’s not as easy as it sounds but abeg, we need a way out. 

    screaming zikoko meme

    5. Scream

    That pain deserves an outlet. Plus after using your strength to scream and vent, you will be so exhausted that you will sleep. Less time spent in pain. 

    drinking zikoko meme

    6. Consider getting pregnant.

    I would have done this a long time ago but the gag now is that you could be pregnant and still have periods and when you give birth, your periods resume. Is it worth it? Is anything worth it? 

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  • 7 Things That Belong In A Period Care Package

    Everybody knows surviving a period is hard work. Anyone bleeding from their vagina should be pampered. Here’s a list of things to include in a period care package. 

    period products in a box

    1. Chocolate

    I know it will cause more pain later but something about sugar while you’re hurting makes everything a bit better. 

    2. Tea 

    Tea is always a good addition to a care package. Hot tea helps to ease period pain. Some favourites are chamomile tea, green tea or good ol Lipton black tea. 

    3. Food

    Preferably something easy to eat and doesn’t need cooking like snacks or dried fruits. 

    4. Money 

    This one should be a no-brainer. We have to be able to buy things that will soothe us while we are in pain. Try it first and see if the snapping won’t reduce. 

    5. Period products 

    It’s always a good idea to buy someone you care about period products because they are increasingly expensive these days and we always need them. 

    6. Wine 

    I have a friend who swears that alcohol kills period pain. It’s never worked for me but wine helps me feel better. 

    7. Condoms 

    For blood-sucking vampires. 

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  • 8 Things Women Hate About Their Periods

    Almost every woman I know dislikes periods. Who the hell thought it was a genius idea to install this feature? Here’s a list of things women hate about periods. 

    woman holding her stomach in pain

    1. Bleeding 

    The fact that we are even bleeding at all is already a downer. There is no way up from that. Just spotting for one day would work great at telling us that we are not pregnant. Why must it last for three to seven days? 

    2. Pain 

    The pain is insane. Some people don’t experience pain during their periods and those ones are God’s favourites. Some start experiencing pain when they cross a certain age. Either way, bad idea. 

    3. Anal cramps

    As I grew older, I noticed that anal cramps came with my period. If you have never experienced it, it’s as bad as it sounds. Doctors say it’s because hormones that cause your muscles to contract are released while you bleed. Again, I say, bad idea!  

    4. Shit

    Literal shit! During periods, women develop diarrhoea because of the same hormones that cause abdominal and anal cramps. It also makes the poop looser than usual. My question is why? Why is this part necessary?

    5. Mood swings

    Another part that is unnecessary is the mood swings. The day before my period and the day the period starts are usually the most intense for me. Crying because I saw two goats fighting is no fun. 

    6. Acne 

    I always know I am on my period when I see one erring pimple at the corner of my mouth or eyebrow or even nose. Other times, in between my eyebrows or on my chin so you can see how ridiculous it all is. 

    7. Why does it exist?

    Why do I have to bleed every month to prove that I am not pregnant when I am an innocent baby girl? Sometimes I wish I could riot. 

    8. We still have to show up to do this thing called life.

    I think this is the worst part for me. Why do I still have to show up at work or school? Women should get period days off. That’s a fight I’m willing to get behind. 

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    If you want to read more articles about periods, click this link.

  • 5 Nigerian Women Talk About Using Menstrual Cups

    As inflation happens and prices of products across the country increase, more Nigerian women are moving away from pads to more sustainable sanitary products. In this article, five Nigerian women talk about their experience using menstrual cups. 

    menstrual cups

    Elizabeth, 19

    Sanitary pads never did it for me. Getting good sanitary pads was a real struggle for me. There are a lot of products to pick from and I used to jump from one product to another. I would settle with one brand I liked but in the next few months, they wouldn’t be as they used to be. The prices were not encouraging either. I considered tampons but they’re not easily accessible. 

    One day, I saw a menstrual cup on my senior colleague’s WhatsApp status. It was my first time. She was selling them. It caught my attention so I googled it to find out more. From what I read, it was everything I wanted — affordable, comfortable and could carry heavy flow. 

    Using the menstrual cup for the first time was not scary for me. It was a little hard inserting it because it was the first time but it got easier. During the first and second month, I experienced leaks on a few occasions because I didn’t insert the cup well. Also, I wasn’t using the right size. Since I got my size right, it’s been bliss. One major problem with the menstrual cup is leakage and it is caused by a lot of factors. It’s easy to get carried away because it’s comfortable but it’s important to remove it at the appropriate time to avoid leakage. Leaving the menstrual cup on for long periods of time is not advisable.  

    Idera, 19

    Pads have always been uncomfortable for me. I had rashes all the time and they couldn’t keep up with my flow. When I was in my first year of university, I went to a seminar for menstrual health and the speaker mentioned menstrual cups as a period product. I was confused — I had never heard about menstrual cups before. 

    When I got home, I did some research on it — I watched YouTube videos and read a ton of articles.  I was convinced that menstrual cups are the best things ever. My problem became how to find one. I searched for months. At the time, It wasn’t on Jumia so I tried Instagram and I found a vendor but it was expensive — 10k for a cup. My zeal died. 

    One day as I  was walking to class, one girl whispered to me, “You’re stained.” That was my turning point — I was done changing my pad every four hours. I sent a DM to the Instagram vendor and in three days I got my cup. 

    I gave myself a lot of pep talk before I used the cup. It felt odd inserting it in the first time and a bit painful. I had touched myself down there before so it was uncomfortable, to say the least. After several tries, the stem of the cup finally disappeared and it was fully inserted. 

    A few days later, my period came and I repeated the process. I was feeling very cool, post-modern woman vibes until 15 minutes later, my panties were soaked. I whipped out my phone in search of help. The videos, the articles, even the person I bought it from weren’t of any use. The vendor said, “Just keep trying, you’ll figure it out.” I did figure it out — it turned out I was using the punch down fold, a fold that doesn’t pop open easily. I tried the 7-fold and it worked. When I took out the cup, it was nearly full. The excitement in me was unmatched. 

    That first period with my menstrual cup will always be my best. I started looking forward to my period! I couldn’t stop telling everyone about menstrual cups. Whether they had a vagina or not! I realized people lose interest when I told them the price. So I decided to start a menstrual cup brand called Ivy Cup so I could make cups easily accessible and affordable to other people. 

    I reached out to manufacturers, health specialists, and doctors both in Nigeria and abroad before I found the safest company to manufacture cups for my brand.  I love talking to people about the cups. I have gotten 65 people to switch to cups and I am so proud of myself. 

    Funke, 22

    I found out about the cup through Instagram on a page for women’s sexual health. I was intrigued so I went to read more about it. 

    The first time I tried it, I inserted it properly and it stayed in place. It also held my heavy flow. 

    I would recommend it because it is reusable, cost-effective and comfortable when you insert it well. It does get exhausting fixing and removing it, so I’ll suggest alternating with other period products. 

    Nimisire, 24

    I first read about menstrual cups online. The article said it was an alternative to pads and tampons. I found the one I use on Twitter. One of my friends did a giveaway and they sent it to me. 

    I found using it quite convenient. The instruction on the pack said to use only if you’re sexually active. However, inserting it the first time was difficult but it has gotten easier. That first day I inserted it in a way that was touching my urethra so I felt like peeing for most of the day. 

    Taking it out can be tedious sometimes because when the cup spends a few hours inside me, it goes further up my cervix and I have to fish for the tip to pull it out. I would have to contract and expand my vagina walls to push it out. It collects a lot of blood but I still combine it with a pad because it kind of still leaks blood. But I enjoy using it. Sometimes I even forget it’s inside me. 

    Sully, 22

    One day, while I was in university, one of my friends was advertising a class on her Whatsapp status. It was about menstrual cups. I decided I was going to attend and I am glad I did. I got the cup shortly after. The cup has different sizes so I bought the large size.

    I was initially scared at the size of what I wanted to insert into my vagina but it wasn’t so bad. I kept touching the tip to be sure the menstrual cup was still inside me. I hated pads and I always got stained whenever I wore them but that changed with my menstrual cup. I also no longer have vagina irritations. My experience has been smooth so far. 

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  • 9 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Funny PMS symptoms

    In commemoration of Menstrual Hygiene Day 2021, I asked Nigerian women to share their funny PMS symptoms with me. Here’s what nine of them had to say: 

    PMS symptoms

    Uche, 25

    I get angry easily. If you step on me, I can slap you. I also lose my appetite and I really like food. 

    Bimbo, 22

    I used to have these tiny pimples scattered on my face and low back pain that would disappear the day my period starts. But for about three months now, I noticed I cry more a week to my period. It happens randomly — nothing has to trigger me to start crying. I’m coming to terms with my emotions. 

    Isoken, 20

    Some days before my period, my scalp gets itchy. It makes me feel like plucking my hair strands out. I also get waist pain, facial breakouts and random cravings like a pregnant woman.

    The worse part is that all of this comes with pain that is just as bad as menstrual cramps. This pain lasts a week before my period so this means while I am dealing with that, I am also checking my pants to see if I am bleeding. Stress!

    Fatima, 22

    I get abdominal cramps about nine days to my period. Four days later, breast pain joins, then spotting and leg pain. I also get mood swings, bloating and constipation. I have learned to endure the pain. 

    Besi, 18 

    I wake up with a pimple in the middle of my forehead some days to my period. Sometimes, I am mushy and want to cry about everything. Other times, I get cranky. 

    Two weeks ago in class, we were dissecting a rat and I was holding back my tears because though the rat was unconscious, I could see the heart beating. LOL

    Temi, 23

    About a week to my period, I get waist pain that feels like menstrual cramps. It also comes with migraine and purging. It gets so bad sometimes that I would be rolling on the ground, reminding God that it was Eve that committed sin not me.

    Lade, 24

    Apart from the pimples that pop up on my face, what annoys me is how my mood changes around my period. Everything makes me cry. The other day, I was looking at my partner and I just started crying because I was thinking about how we met. It was funny but also sad. 

    Mary, 21

    Every month comes with headaches. I also have crying spates. When I was much younger, I didn’t understand why I’d wake up sad and cranky when nothing happened. One day, I realized that it usually happened around my period so I started watching it. I also noticed a pimple on the line of my upper lip or the middle of my forehead that comes around that time. Plus my boobs become two times their regular size. It gets frustrating sometimes. 

    Osas, 22 

    Two days before my period, I feel slight cramps. My boobs become sore and I can’t lay on my chest until a few days after my period. I’m always tired and any little thing upsets me. I try not to let my mood swings get out of control but sometimes I don’t even realize when I am acting erratically until someone points it out.

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  • 5 Nigerian Women Share Period Pain Stories

    By Oreoluwa Olukorode

    For most women, period pain was a whole new experience no one prepared them for. From mild discomfort to unconsciousness, five Nigerian Women share their period pain stories and how they have been dealing with it. This was compiled to celebrate Menstrual Hygiene Day which is today, May 28, 2021, as solidarity to all women around the world who experience different symptoms every month.  The theme for this year is “Action and Investment in Menstrual Hygiene and Health” 

    Period pain

    Mariam, 27

    I’ve always had this awful pain during my period since I was nine years old and it was strange because no one talked about the pain during the menstrual hygiene talks at my secondary school. I thought something was awfully wrong with me and I couldn’t tell anyone. When I was 14, I decided to try my hands at the painkillers we had at home. I made sure I had a pack in my bag in case I felt the pain at school. When I did (as expected), I immediately popped diclofenac and I’m not sure this act worsened the pain or if it was taking pills on an empty stomach but I passed out and woke up in a clinic with my mum by my bedside. 

    After seeing a gynaecologist, I was advised to stay off painkillers because of my ulcer. My period became more painful over the years too. I always have to leave work to take care of myself which has gotten me fired a couple of times and I frequently go to the hospital, especially for the first 3 days. I take injections almost every month for the pain and sometimes, my hot water bottle helps in a way.

    I honestly can’t wait to have kids because I heard the pain reduces right after. 

    Chika, 25

    I experience cramps every month a few days before my period starts. When the pain starts, I get these terrible headaches and I start vomiting uncontrollably then I lose appetite for a few days –I keep asking God why he created me like this.

    Nothing works for my pain. I’ve tried pills, injections, and hot water bottles. Ice packs help in a way but it’s difficult to get one, especially in a city with abysmal power supply like Lagos.

    I remember when I just started seeing this guy, we went to the movies together and I passed out from how painful my cramps were. People poured water on me, slapped me, dragged me, it was chaotic. When I opened my eyes, people were asking if I had an abortion, I was embarrassed. The guy stopped talking to me after that. I don’t blame him though, he was probably scared to death. 

    Oyindamola, 22

    I started menstruating when I was 11years. I don’t remember having any serious pain when I first started but then, my period wasn’t regular for about a year after. Few years later, I had this terrible pain that I was rushed to the hospital. I could not stand or eat or do anything for a while. I was given injections then it got better.

    When I was in my senior year in Secondary school, I used to go to the school clinic several times to get injections for the pain. I get the injection, sleep and wake up better. Rinse, repeat. Just a few years ago, I had to leave a service in the church because of how bad the pain was. It was so serious that I started praying to God for forgiveness, I thought I was going to die. 

    Recently, I’d say the pain has reduced but I still hardly do anything on the first day. Painkillers help me feel better, especially when I take them on an empty stomach. The issue now is I have Ulcer so I am always careful of the NSAIDS I use. I have period diarrhoea too but I don’t use a specific drug for it. For most people, I hear the period pain stops after the first day. For me, it lasts throughout or comes towards the end of the period. It’s exhausting.

    Debby, 23

    My period flow used to be relatively normal; 2 heavy days with mild cramps that just require me to curl up in my bed for ten minutes or so, but ever since I recovered from COVID-19, my flow took a wild turn. I’m aware that different things could have caused this wild shake-up but it coinciding with the time I contracted the virus is scary.

    Now, I get this excruciatingly painful headache that affects my vision that I find it hard to walk around. Not to mention, I now experience five days of heavy wrenching flow that I have to use about 6 pads daily, and the cramping is so severe. My doctor advised me to exercise and eat healthy because this might just be my body adjusting to the sedentary life of working from home. I really hope that this is just a phase. 

    Ire, 32

    This might sound a little extra but what I experience when I’m on my period is not “pain”. It is more of contractions like someone is hitting on my pelvis with a bat. I started menstruating when I was ten years old and I only had cramps whenever I ate too much junk in the week leading up to my period so I just watched my sugar consumption.

    After I had my son, the period contractions started. I even thought I was having a miscarriage the first time I experienced it, it was crazy. I now spend long hours in the toilet because the contractions trigger my menstrual diarrhoea. I also try to sit over a bucket of hot water, it relaxes my vagina.

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  • 5 Nigerian Men Share Their First Encounters With Menstruation

    Menstruation is a very normal female experience. But in many societies, people are tight-lipped on the topic, causing a huge knowledge gap. Some women never find out about it until their first period is upon them. It is hardly surprising that many young men have little to no awareness of menstruation until they get into the bigger world. In commemoration of Menstrual Health Day 2021, five men share stories on their exposure to menstruation.

    Awwal, 22

    When I was about 10, my aunt who was living with us at the time would go out sometimes then return with a black nylon bag later. She did this very often. Each time, she held the content of the black nylon close. That got me curious. I would disturb her to show me what was inside, but of course, she always ignored me. One day, I got to press the nylon, and it felt soft,  like bread. I got more confused. Why was this bread so colourful? Why was she secretive about the bread? It was later, in senior school, I got to understand menstruation and pads properly.

    Tosin, 21

    The first time I heard the word “menstruation” was in maths class. When the maths tutor introduced us to mensuration (the part of geometry concerned with measurements) and asked us to repeat it after him, some of my friends were saying menstruation instead. And it wasn’t a mispronunciation. I remember girls being uptight about the whole thing. They were not happily chanting menstruation the way boys did. After the class, I looked up the meaning and saw that it meant the flow of blood. I couldn’t imagine why and how someone could bleed when they’re not dying.

    Yusuf, 23

    That day, I caught my sister sneaking food to her room when it was supposed to be the Ramadan fast.  I, thinking I was a detective, ran to report to my father. After I finished narrating everything to him, all he said was “okay”. I was confused and angry. I narrated it again and he told me to leave. I was convinced that my father loved my sister more than me. She wasn’t praying too. He’d have flogged me if I ever did that. It happened the next day again and my father saw her do it this time. Of course, there was no need to point it out anymore. After Ramadan, he sat me down and explained menstruation the best way he could and that women on their periods were not supposed to fast or pray. I didn’t fully understand it then— neither do I now —but I know not to harass a Muslim woman not fasting or praying.

    John, 19

    My first exposure to menstruation was in Primary 4. A girl in my class was stained and it was very obvious. Many of us were scared for her. I can’t forget how much the girl cried that day. It must have been her first because she didn’t know what to do. The school nanny removed her from the class to clean her and she returned wearing the school’s sportswear. After the lunch break, her parents came to collect her and our teacher told us she was taken to the hospital. For the longest time, I viewed menstruation as a severe illness that affected girls.

    Ope, 25

    My mom used to send me to buy pads for herself and my sister. I would go get it without asking what it was. Sometimes I wondered what it was that they never gave me a share of but it wasn’t a priority. I didn’t even know it was considered shameful by boys my age to be seen with a pad until one day in school when a friend told all the boys in my class that he saw me buying a pad. They mocked the hell out of me. The whole time, I had no idea why pads were a shameful object or what menstruation was. After that incident, I stopped buying pads for them at home. When they eventually taught menstruation in my school, they sent the boys out of the class but told the girls to remain. It was my first girlfriend that later explained everything to me.

    Read this too: 5 Nigerian Men Talk About The Best Part Of Being Married

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  • 7 Nigerian Women Share The Times They Have Experienced Period Poverty

    Period poverty is when you cannot afford proper hygiene products during your period. Products like tampons, menstrual cups, sanitary pads, etc. These seven Nigerian women share times in their lives when they have experienced period poverty.

    Ade, 20

    There was a time I had to used paper towels. Luckily, I happened to find an actual towel later. I folded it and used. A whole goddamn towel. Each time I went to the restroom, I would fold the towel in a different way to avoid it from soaking really quickly.

    Mayowa, 20

    Once, I was extremely broke and my parents were completely out of reach. I had to use tissues, and even the tissues were given to me by someone. I cried so much.

    Hafiza, 21

    I had to go to school while on my period, so I needed to buy pads. I also needed to buy food, but it was one or the other. So, I used my money for food to buy pad because school was compulsory. It was either I starve or I stain and I chose to starve.

    Yinka, 20

    I was to get money from someone, but banks were having so many issues that period. I cried so much because if I buy the pads plus the painkillers with the one thousand naira I had left, I would not be able to afford transportation to school or food in school. There were assignments I had to submit so I needed to be in school. So for the first day, I went to school using tissue papers. It was so uncomfortable because I could feel the tissue dissolve. When I got home, my friend asked why I did not stay till the end of the day. I told her my predicament and she sent me money and brought pads and food to my house.

    Busola, 25

    It was the first day of my period and I had classes for over six hours. On days like that, I usually try to place one pad on top of the other so I do not get stained. However I had used all the money I had to type and print out some work our lecturers assigned to me. I could not afford to use two pads at once, so I had to use tissue and a pad. For over six hours, that was just how I was.

    Jane, 21

    My period came two weeks earlier at my brokest point in school. Luckily, I was home all day for the first day so I kept alternating between tissues, plain underwear and just standing in the shower naked. It was such a stressful experience. When I woke up the next day there was a big stain on my bedsheets. I had to call my parents and beg for money.

    Adaeze, 21

    When I first started my period, for months I used my old school uniforms because I couldn’t afford pads. I’d cut them into smaller pieces, fold till it looked like tissue, and use them. Once it’s soiled, I’ll wash it and use another. When I finally could afford pads I still really couldn’t afford a lot of them, so I’d use one for a whole day. What helped was I constantly rinsed myself so they wouldn’t be a lot of blood in the pad, and I did a lot of calculating too. I never used pads on the first and last days because it always felt like a waste.

    For more articles on all things women, please click here


  • 8 Things You Should Never Say To A Nigerian Woman About Her Period

    Many people see women’s monthly periods as a time to make jokes. Women do not find it funny.

    Here are eight things you should never say to a woman about her period:

    1. Stop overreacting.

    If you ever suggest that a woman is overreacting during her period, you should be tied to a bag of stones and thrown into a

    2. This is why you should get pregnant.

    Einstein, please sit down.

    3. It’s just blood.

    It’s JUST blood?

    4. Is that why you’re now cranky?

    At least she has a reason for being cranky. What reasons do you have for being insensitive?

    5. Can’t you just pretend to be fine?

    If she’s not fine, she’s not fine. Get it?

    6. Periods make me uncomfortable.

    If periods make you uncomfortable, imagine how they make her feel.

    7. Eww!

    You shouldn’t be saying this if you’re not 2 years old, king.

    8. The pain can’t be THAT bad.

    People who say this, without a doubt, have their village people chasing them.

  • 6 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Better When She Is On Her Period

    Periods are very uncomfortable, unnecessary and uncalled for, a factory error if you ask us, but we digress. Every woman who menstruates can attest to how cranky the experience makes them. All this to say, the last thing you want to do is add to your girlfriend’s annoyance. 

    Here are a few easy ways to make your girlfriend feel better when she is on her period. 

    1. Don’t call your girlfriend by her government name

    Period or no period, why are you calling her by her government name? Babe, baby, boo or preferably ‘’your royal highness’’ is how you should address her. Calling her by her government name can trigger unpleasant memories of work and the last thing you want is your girlfriend bawling her eyes out because you pronounced her name how her boss pronounces it.

    2. Buy her snacks regardless of the time

    You are a snack, yes, just not the snack she needs. If she wants snacks by 3:13 a.m, you have to find them. We don’t care how you do it, just do it. 

    3. Give your girlfriend belly rubs during her period

    Read it again, we said belly rubs, not booty rubs. If you like touch her yansh, whatever you see, just take it like that. If your period coincides with your girlfriend’s period, we advise you to rub your bellies together, teamwork makes the dream work. 

    4. If she says jump, you ask, “How high?”

    You can turn it up a notch and carry weight sef.

    If she says jump, better ask how high. The jumping jacks will work as a good exercise for you, anything to put your girlfriend in a good mood feels like a win-win to us. 

    5. Avoid doing anything that may turn her on

    Except you guys are into that kind of freaky freaky vampire type stuff, we advise you don’t turn her on. Read this article and avoid doing all the things on that list while she’s on her period. 

    6. If you are a vampire, you can have sex with her

    If all other plans fail, you can settle for orgasms. Consensual orgasms always bring joy, and research has proven that period sex isn’t even that bad. 

  • 8 Things About Period Products That Need To Change

    When it comes to period products, there are a lot of things that need to change. A lot. So, we made a list with the help of the people of Twitter

    1) Price

    They are too expensive. Period products should be free, because nobody chose to have their period. These products are essential, and nobody should be denied essential products and services because of money.

    2) Length

    The pads should be longer, because constantly having to wake up at night to check for stains is not fun for anyone. Whoever is in charge should please make pads longer.

    3) Accessibility

    A lot of people don’t have access to all the many different kinds of period products available. There are so many different lifestyles, and there are products that can accommodate most of them. Imagine swimmers not having access to tampons?

    We do not want to have an actual red sea

    4) Size

    Pads do not have sizes. Pads need to have an option for people that are plus sized. Not the nonsense with the wings that do not wrap around fully, but actual bigger sized pads that will cover the underwear properly.

    5) Adhesive

    Pads are meant to have adhesive that sticks the pads to the underwear. Small activity and the pad has rolled, shifted, and twisted. Make the adhesive stronger and shifting pads might be a thing of the past.

    6) Fragrance

    One question, why? Why does blood have to smell like flowers? A lot of people are too sensitive for the kind of fragrance a lot of these products have. The fragrance needs to be taken away.

    7) Environmental friendliness

    Plastic is bad for the environment, and a lot of tampons come with plastic applicators. Not only that, but lots of pads are not biodegradable and just cause more harm to our environment. Climate change is already causing us too many problems and the companies must do better, but capitalism must capitalism.

    8) The itch

    Whatever causes pads to give rashes and make the thigh area itch needs to go. Whatever chemical or component that is there should simply not be there anymore.

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  • 6 Things Black Women Will Finally Be Able To Do From December 21st

    We are gathered here because some human said black people will be able to activate superpowers on the 21st of December. The jokes online are just hilarious and outrageous. So, we’ve decided to compile a list of superpowers black women will finally have from December 21st.

    1. Stop all periods

    No more periods with cramps and mood swings from hell. With superpowers comes the need to end unnecessary suffering. Black women will finally be able to stop their periods without getting pregnant or having weird side effects.

    2. Activate natural birth control

    With superpowers, black women will finally be able to activate a birth control means that have no side effects whatsoever. So, the days of bloating, headaches, hormonal imbalance, partial blindness, all because we’re trying to avoid pregnancy, will end.

    3. Take long evening walks… ALONE

    If you ever take a stroll at night and see an unescorted black woman, chances are she is a witch or a mythical creature because most black women can’t take walks, runs, jogs, strolls without fearing for their lives. Having superpowers would give women the confidence they need to do simple things like this without fearing for their safety.

    4. Eradicate breast cancer

    Breast cancer is the second leading cause of cancer in women after lung cancer and breast cancer death rates are 40% higher among black women than white women. Imagine a world where women don’t have to suffer the pains of treating breast cancer. They can just snap their fingers like Thanos, self-heal and move on with their lives. Having superpowers would be a game-changer for black women.

    5. Open Jars and zippers by themselves

    What most women won’t tell you is that they got married so they can have someone to open their jars and unzip their dress for them. To be fair, jars are extremely difficult to open. Most jars are designed as if only bricklayers and people who do hard labour can open them, that’s where the men come in. However, superpowers mean that women don’t need men any more for stuff like this. We good here.

    6. Eradicate all pain attached to pregnancy

    You will not believe the shit women have to go through to have babies. Some women lose their teeth, others lose their sight or sense of hearing. Most women even have postpartum depression. Why? Just so we can have babies. Well, December 21st will bring a new dawn. NO MORE PAIN. Black women will now be able to procreate without all the hazards of procreating.

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  • 11 Nigerians Talk About Their Period Sex Experience

    Period sex is sex that happens while either of the parties involved are on their period. We asked Nigerians to share their period sex experience, here are eleven of them.

    Anna, 18

    This was my first and only period sex experience, but I find it a funny one because it happened on my heaviest day. It was nice and comfortable, but it was the messiest thing ever. Even with laying on an extra towel plus a blanket, it got everywhere. He ended up throwing away this sheets because he didn’t know how to salvage it.

    Bimpe, 21

    The first three times I ever had sex was when I was on my period. My flow’s light, so it wasn’t messy at all. I think it made the whole losing my virginity thing easier because the blood acted as extra lube. The next time we tried it we thought my period had ended, but unfortunately it had not. I ended up squirting blood all over his bed. I am so happy none got on his face.

    Oganya, 30

    The first time was in December in Abuja, I was 24. I’ve irregular periods, so I never really knew what was period pain or regular pain. I met this fine boy and after spending the day together, we went home. We had great chemistry, and I was relatively new at sex so he thought I was a virgin. I discovered it made the pain disappear, and it made orgasms faster because everything seemed so moist. The orgasms were lush and since then, there have been 5 of these.

    Mo, 21

    Period sex is actually really nice. You don’t have to worry about lube or not getting wet, except your period is almost over. The only thing that annoys me is that they can’t eat me out. Someone actually tried one time and I was scared and disgusted. It’s not me that will kiss you with that mouth. I obviously didn’t allow that kind of atrocity, even Dracula would not do that nonsense.

    Chika, 28

    My ex-partner and I used to have sex towards the end of my periods because I have quite painful periods, and would always get really turned on during that time. Oral sex helps me sleep, so whenever I couldn’t sleep, he would give me head to help me sleep. This was usually on days 4 or 5 of my period. He never went near the blood, but would mainly play with my clit until I came and went to sleep. He’s the only guy I’ve been with that would even entertain doing that. My current bf hates the idea of sex during that time.

    Amaka, 26

    My last relationship was a long distance one, and we saw like 2-3 times every year. During the Easter break I travelled to see him, and my period started that week. I wasn’t bothered cos my period lasts 3 days, but forces of darkness had other plans. Three days after I got there the period refused to stop, and body no be firewood. We took a shower together one hot afternoon and had the most amazing sex ever. I’m extra sensitive when I’m on my period and my body bangs different, so it was such an experience for both of us. I would 100% recommend.

    James, 21

    I was dating this girl back in school and we were quite creative with sex, so when I asked if we could have sex while she was on her period, she said she was down if I wanted it. So right there we Googled and found enough information. It was bloody.

    Odion, 28

    My first period sex experience was kind of weird and unexpected because my then boyfriend and I hadn’t planned to. I was supposed to be done with my period and had actually stopped bleeding the day before. We started, and I immediately felt something was different but it also felt really good. The lights were off and by the time we put them on, his penis looked like a popsicle. He enjoyed it too, so it kind of became our thing.

    Khafilat, 21

    It was fantastic. I feel like that time of the month in the female reproductive cycle is a cocktail of hormones that makes for extremely enjoyable sex. I also feel like the actual vaginal passage is more sensitive and receptive to stimulation during your period. It is super hot when the men are not fazed by the sight of blood, it makes me want them even more. The last time I had sex on my period, I came ten times and it felt like my body was going to explode. The best part is that there was no bloody mess after.

    Damilola, 25

    I’ve had period sex a couple of times, but they were all accidental. I didn’t really like it because I don’t like seeing or smelling blood. That is why my partner and I just have anal if I am on my period and we both want to get down. Since I use a tampon, there’s no blood or smell and it’s not messy.

    Kunle, 23

    It was the third day of her period and we were in my room, making out. It got too intense, but we thought it would end at that because she was on her period. A thought came into my head, and I asked if we could try it in the shower so the water washes all the blood away. She was hesitant at first but later accepted. We stayed in a University hostel, so the bathroom was public and this was by like 1am. We decided to go in, and I stood outside first checking if anyone was there, then called her to come in. Someone came in, so we had to pause. Luckily for us it was dark and the person didn’t see us. When he left, we continued. It really was worth it.

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  • 8 Nigerian Women Share How They Handle Period Pain

    A lot of people tend to experience pain when they have their periods. Some women have been able to hack this thing (lucky them), so we asked them to share how they handle period pain.

    P.S: None of these are professional advice from a doctor. Just women stating what has worked for them.

    Amaka, 25

    I know it might be extremely irresponsible, but what works for me is marijuana. It just helps ease the pain. I do not take enough to affect my productivity for the day because periods can happen at the weirdest times and work must go on.

    Jasmine, 20

    Put hot water in a bottle, wrap it in a cloth an put it on my stomach. I also do some yoga poses to help.

    Hafiza, 26

    I take a lot of painkillers. I am not trying to be a “strong woman” in any way, shape or form. If my period comes on a weekend I will take the medication, cuddle with my pillow in some soft pyjamas, watch romantic comedies, and eat lots of junk food. If it comes during a work day, I take the first day off.

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    Anita, 19

    Sleep. Honestly, how else do you want me to handle it? I am in crippling pain and I can barely move. Sleep is it, it is sleep.

    Christina, 31

    I actually avoid sugar like a week to my period and take a lot of unsweetened yoghurt at night before bed. Whenever I do this, the pain is less. I have been doing this for a few years now and it works well. The main problem I have with this is when my period just comes out of the blue, so there was no sugar free and yoghurt week.

    Lara, 23

    I masturbate. It helps to ease the pain and also destresses me, because periods are very very stressful and unnecessary. Extremely unnecessary.

    Faith, 27

    I exercise. On a regular day I am not that much of a fitness nut. I go to the gym when I can, but two weeks to my period I start being more consistent. Took this up when I was 21 and had cramps that I believe almost killed me.

    Zainab, 19

    I drink. If I drink enough, I get numb and pass out. By the time I wake up, I feel better and good as new. Period pain who? Do not know her.

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  • 7 Nigerian Women Share Their Cringe-Worthy Period Experiences

    The cramps, nausea, and insane cravings are not the only things Nigerian women have to deal with during their period. 7 Nigerian women had a quick chat with me about their most cringe-worthy period experience.

    Jennifer

     My experience was really awful. I had an ex-boyfriend who would complain and call me lazy for having cramps and throwing up. For the days I would be on my period, his attitude towards me would change. He would reject everything I do. He termed menstruation as unclean, unpurified, irritating and utterly disgusting. I noticed he mostly got like this during my period so I tried to stay away whenever it’s that time of the month. At some point, it became overwhelming and I had to leave the relationship.

    Jessica

    I once called a friend to get me an extra pad, the guy who just happened to be around when I made the call acted all disgusted that why didn’t I step out to make the call. I couldn’t believe the effrontery. Another notable one was the guy I made plans to hang out with and then my period showed up and he started acting funny, making remarks about the whole thing. That was when I knew I had dodged a bullet. A few days later, when baba was sure the period had gone, he tried to chat me up. Omo, the way I aired that message, avatar Aang would have been proud.

    Emem

    I dated a guy who didn’t want to come close to me cause I was on my period. He kept behaving like I was diseased. I noticed that I wasn’t a one-time thing. Every time I was on my period, he would make excuses not to be with me. One time he mentioned that I shouldn’t sit on his laps. It became too much and it’s one of the numerous reasons I broke up with him.

    Deborah

    There was a guy I really liked and felt very attracted to. The first and only time we had sex, my period came mid-sex. We were both too horny to wait so we tried having sex close to the car. When we saw someone coming, we quickly stopped and got back into the car. The trouble started when he noticed blood stains on his white underwear. He freaked out, shouting that if he was a ritualist that he would have to kill me for spoiling his jazz. He went on and on about the spiritual implications of what just happened. I was so scared. I didn’t expect any of it and kept hoping to make it home alive.

    Chioma

    My first experience with some form of period stigma happened when I was in secondary school. After school that fateful day, I was suffering severe menstrual cramps. It was so bad that I had to stop on my way home to throw up. Different ladies passed me that day and none of them helped. I could see them sizing me up with their eyes, some hissed, others made snark remarks and most just passed me by. Now that I think about it, it’s really sad that none of those women stopped to help and others just naturally assumed that I was pregnant. I was a child for goodness sake and this really made an impression on me. I am grateful for my friends that helped. 

    Mariam

    So I remembered getting stained for the first time ever in 2017. When  I came down from the cab, a guy passing saw the stain and looked at me like I had shit smeared on my forehead. I knew something was wrong but wasn’t sure until I turned to check my skirt. There was so much blood, I wonder how I missed it. That experience stuck with me because it happened in public and it was my first time. I wish more people get properly informed about menstruation so they stop acting like it’s the black plague.

    Eve

     I once told a friend that I was having menstrual cramps, he apologised and told me not to worry that it will finish by the next day. I was like I just started that day and he asked and I quote “Isn’t it like you’re peeing blood for a day?” and he went on to explain how he thought periods worked differently. In my life, I have never been confronted with such ignorance. I did my best to explain how periods actually work. When I was done, he said he just assumed that menstruation was like pee and never really asked. All I could think about was, did this man even do biology? A quick Google search could have saved us from this conversation.

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  • 10 Things Women On Their Periods Can Relate To

    Recently, I was binge-watching the second season of Workin’ Moms, a Canadian television sitcom about a group of friends dealing with the challenges of being working mothers and being women generally. In one episode, Alice Carlson, played by Sadie Munroe got her period for the first time and was aghast by the reality that women got periods every month for a long time – well until menopause. This was pretty much the look on her face.

    She was so shocked that she believed that being a girl sucks.

    It can feel that way if you have to bleed every month and still deal with negative stereotypes, gender norms and sexual harassment. It’s crazy how, every period feels like a new one: the pain feels new, the cramps feel new, the emotions feel new. And every period, a woman is aghast that she has to go through it for several more months and years before it stops on it’s own, and tells herself that it sucks to be a woman.

    This made me realise that while a lot of period experiences are unique, there are some things about periods women from all over can relate to in spite of age, class and race. I decided to put some of them together for you.

    1. Does Everything or Every-freaking-thing hurt?

    Periods often come with cramps — headaches, stomach aches, back aches, leg aches — all the aches, you name them. This can be particularly excruciating if you have to work, attend lectures or be at a place where you’re expected to be all smiles and civil — everywhere other than your bed.

    Every time I remember that there are some women out there who don’t get any kind of pain, I ask myself who did I offend.

    2. Not Knowing You’re On Your Period

    One of the most annoying parts about getting your period is getting it when you absolutely did not expect it. There’s an embarrassing story about a woman getting her period while having sex here. Some women get PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome, which acts like a warning) when they’re about to get periods. Others don’t. Some women have regular periods that are easily trackable. Some don’t. So it can be really annoying — like the entire world hates you and has conspired against you — if you’ve made plans and it just shows up.

    Imagine being in public transport or elsewhere and your Aunt Flo just pops up like, “Surprise, Surprise!” with little or no consideration for the fact that you don’t have a sanitary pad or tampon. That little bitch.

    Or waking up to your bed — a crime scene. Better clean it up before your roommate calls the police.

    3. The reaction when someone asks you how you feel:

    OR

    4. Every woman knows it’s that time of the month when her skincare routine doesn’t work anymore.

    Any time my expensive skincare routine stops working all of a sudden, or I wake up and discover a huge-ass talking-pimple on my forehead, I just know that Aunt Flo is around the corner. Worst part about these kinds of pimples is that they’re always so huge and painful.

    5. Being told to be calm during your period.

    Men are constantly telling women that they’re overreacting. There have been several conversations on social media where people try to whittle down the pain a woman feels during her period, or equate it with “blue balls.” I’ve got four words for you:

    6. There’s nothing sacred about the words PERIOD or MENSTRUATION.

    It’s always so hilarious when people feel ashamed to say “period” or “menstruation.” Periods are a natural process experienced by half the world’s population; they are a sign of life. So, why is the subject and the word(s) cloaked in secrecy and shame?  Honey, it’s just a word…

    7. When your period decides to play hide and seek

    Because the first thing that comes to your mind is that you’re pregnant. Meanwhile, your boring-ass self hasn’t had sex in a long ass time. But when a hundred years later, your period comes just as you’re about to start getting comfortable with a period-less month, you’re torn between rejoicing and crying.

    8. Not finding the right brand of tampons or sanitary pads you’ve used all your life.

    This can be very frustrating, especially if it’s the same store where you always get them. It’s even worse when the store attendant tries to offer you a replacement.

    9. Standing up and realising the map of Africa isn’t painted red at the back of your dress or jeans.

    The rare occasion you celebrate during the excruciating five or a million days (because sometimes, it feels like it’ll never end) you get your period is likely when you’ve not gotten stained in a bit.

    10. Surviving

    Surviving has to be the best and most important part, because all through the period cycle, you’ll most likely feel like you’re going to die. But now that it’s over, you get to celebrate, YAY!

  • I Tried Out Every Type Of Menstrual Product

    Last year, at the peak of the #SanitaryAidForNigerianGirls movement, one thing that struck me as odd was the sheer volume of people (mostly men) screaming about women finding cheaper alternative to pads if we found them so expensive.

    Everything from rags (yes rags like we are in 1932) to tissues to reusable pads and menstrual cups were suggested by men. Who I don’t know if anyone has noticed, don’t actually get periods.
    But there were also a couple of women testifying to the fact that they were indeed cheaper and just as effective alternatives to pads. And even sanitary pads that cost as low as hundred naira per pack. This got me curious.

    I started my period when I was 9, I’m 24 now. Which means I’ve had my period for fifteen years. That’s about 180 periods. In all that time I’ve only ever used pads. I had a brief stint with tampons in my late teens but I found them to be very uncomfortable. I decided to try out every single type of sanitary product I could lay my hands on in Nigeria over the last couple of months and here’s how my experience went.

    Sanitary Pads

    The most popular brand of sanitary pads in Nigeria is Always. It’s not the best brand your money can buy. And at about 400 naira a pack it’s also not the cheapest brand. Each pack contains eight pieces and I run through about 3 or 4 a day. My period runs for about 4 to 5 days. Which means I use about 15 to 20 pieces a period. That’s about 2 or 3 packs. Which cost me 800 to 1200 a month. That’s 9,600 to 14,400 a year. That is expensive.

    But pads are easy to change into and out of. Easy to dispose off and easy to buy. You’ll find one at every corner shop and Mallam’s kiosk.
    I almost always use ‘Always’ (no pun intended). That’s because it’s the most accessible. But I don’t particularly like it. It often gives me a rash and can get very uncomfortable. But it does the work. There are quite a number of cheaper alternatives to Always and the cheapest I could lay my hands on was this – Diva Sanitary pads which cost about 250 per pack. I tried my hardest but couldn’t seem to lay my hands on a brand that retailed for 100 naira per pack.

    After soaking through an 8 piece pack of ‘Diva’ in about 6 hours. I switched back to Always for the rest of my period.

    Tampons

    Apart from the fact that I couldn’t get used to walking around with a foreign object lodged up my vagina. My biggest grouse with tampons was that when I went to the bathroom I couldn’t take a quick peek at it to find out if it needed changing like with pads.

    The first time I tried out tampons I soaked through them in a couple of hours and got stained. For the rest of the period, I wore them alongside pads which just kind of defeated its purpose. They are also significantly more expensive than pads. Tampax is the most popular brand of tampons and a box of twenty costs a little over 2000. Even though I always bought the superflow pack I was running through 3 or 4 tampons a day. Mostly because I was afraid of soaking through and getting stained in public.

    Which means by the end of my period I had run through the whole pack. Changing tampons in public restrooms was also an extreme sport. No level of experience prepares you for looking for a comfortable way to jam up a tampon in a bathroom where you are trying your possible best to avoid touching anything.

    Reusable Pads

    In theory, it’s easy to make a great case for reusable pads. They are cheaper in the long run and you’d be saving the environment. In reality using reusable pads are a giant pain in the ass. I had never actually seen them anywhere so I ordered this pack from Amazon.

    I spent the whole day of my first period with reusable pads at home. So I dutifully went through the process of washing and replacing my reusable pad. I spent the second-day running errands and found myself throwing out my reusable pad and putting on a regular one midday.

    I couldn’t imagine rinsing out my bloody pad in the office sink and there was no way I was going to pack up the bloody pad. Which means using reusable pads meant having access to constantly running water. I also couldn’t help but feel very grossed out by the whole process and I couldn’t bring myself to reuse the pads I had washed on the first day of my period. I ended up using them like regular pads. I spent the whole day of my first period at home.

    Menstrual Cups

    I used a menstrual cup for exactly 24 hours and that was all the time I needed to know I’d never use them again. Here’s how a menstrual cup works. Unlike pads, tampons or any other sanitary products, menstrual cups don’t absorb blood. You insert the cup into your vagina which is an even more uncomfortable process than putting on a tampon, where it sits and holds the blood for you. Since it’s up there you have no idea when it’s full which means you’ll find yourself taking it in and out several times in a day. I spent the day at home with my comfortbale bathroom and constant running water and I couldn’t imagine changing in and out of the cup anywhere else.

    Tissues

    I didn’t set out planning to try tissues as part of this project and only did out of necessity. My period had come unexpectedly at work and no one had a spare sanitary product. So I stuffed tissues in my underwear so I could go buy some pads. By the time I came back, I had soaked through the tissues and my underwear. The wad of tissue came off in pieces as I tried to take it out making quite a mess. I had to ask to be excused from work so I could go home to clean up properly.

    While it might seem like there are a ton of options when it comes to menstrual products, living in Nigeria limits them. And pads are still the most efficient option. With 86.9 million people living on less than 400 naira (the average cost of a pack of pads) a day, movements like SanitaryAidForNigerianGirlsare not just important they are essential.

  • 1. “Why are you vexing? Are you on your menses?”

    Yes I am, and so what?

    2. “Ehn at least you are not pregnant”

    But who asked you?

    3. “Didn’t you just see your menses last week?”

    Oga, are you helping me count it?

    4. “Is it because of small period you are doing as if you want to die.”

    We are warning you for the last time

    5. “It’s paining you? Pele, if you were a man now…”

    If I were a man I won’t be able to survive it, yes I know

    6. Please stop talking about your period we don’t want to hear about it.

    Come on will you shut up your mouth there

    7. “Wawu so you mean you will bleed for 5 days straight and you won’t die.”

    Don’t lie, we know you failed Biology in WAEC

    8. “Pad is expensive? Why can’t you use tissue or cloth? Afterall what did our mothers use.”

    You why are you wearing clothes to work, wrap leaf around your body like Adam now

    9. “Just period? Is that the only thing that’s doing you?”

    You that you don’t have a period, what’s always doing you.

    10. “So it’s like every month every month?”

    Ehn ehn, it’s every year

    11. Please if you are a guy, and you’ve ever been guilty of any of the above. Repent now.

    We are begging, please.
  • 1. The Disgusted Guys

    giphy.gif “I’m on my period.” “Ewwww.” “Your face is ewwww but you don’t see me complaining.”

    2. The DISGUSTING Boyfriends

    giphy.gif “I’m on my period.” “Your mouth isn’t though, if you get my drift.” “Ugh.”

    3. The Guys with Questions

    giphy.gif “So, is it like, rushing like a tap?” “Do you need blood tonic to replenish all that blood?” “Are you serious that this happens EVERY MONTH? WOW.” “Is it like an injury?”

    4. The Boyfriends Who Do The Least

    giphy.gif “I’m on my period.” “Okay baby. Take your drugs, go easy yeah? See you hun. Mweh.”

    5. The Boyfriends Who Do The Most (We love them!)

    giphy.gif “I’m on my period.” “OMG do you have spare pads? Do you want to lie down? Need a back rub? Belly rub? What will you eat? No, don’t stand up – let me fly you abroad for maintenance.”

    6. The Old Testament Guy

    giphy.gif
    • “I’m on my period.”
    • “DON’T TOUCH ME WOMAN YOU ARE UNCLEAN AND MUST BE KEPT AWAY FROM THE COMMUNITY FOR SEVEN DAYS! I HOPE YOU DID NOT TOUCH THE FOOD YOU COOKED FOR ME WITH YOUR OWN HANDS?”

    7. The Mansplainer

    giphy.gif “I’m experiencing period cramps and they’re really, really bad. I need a day off, please?” “Well, actually, this is why women don’t deserve to be paid as much as men. I bet men would handle things better if it was them with periods.”

    8. The Stupid Comedian

    giphy.gif “I’m on my period.” “Oh wow. I’m on my apostrophe too! Hehehehehehehehe!”

    9. Now read this:

    https://zikoko.com/list/16-period-struggles-that-are-too-damn-real/
  • 1. When you wake up happy and ready to slay at work.

    They must know I just bought new clothes today!

    2. You now feel one dirty pain in your tummy.

    Is that …?

    3. And your boobs are now very swollen.

    And painful!

    4. So you run to check and discover your worst enemy is here.

    Oh God, why?

    5. When you now have to wear black and black to work in case of stains.

    And be looking like a mourner upandan!

    6. Second day of your period and you’re like:

    It’s like world war 3 in my pants.

    7. And everything and everyone just starts annoying you.

    For no reason!

    8. How your period starts rushing when you stand, after sitting for a long time.

    Disgusting!

    9. You, when your male co-workers ask what’s wrong with you.

    I’m fine.

    10. How you have to run to poo every ten minutes.

    Even the poo is different!

    11. And you have to check your bum bum for stains every second.

    See stress.

    12. When you use all the painkillers in the world but nothing can help you.

    See my life o!

    13. When you take one sip of a sugary drink and the pain descends on you.

    I’ve finished myself today.

    14. When you have to use like 10 packs of pad for one period.

    Na only me waka come?

    15. When you think your period is over and it comes back like:

    “Surprise, bitch.”

    16. When it now finally goes, you’re like:

    Happy to see you go!
  • Everything That Happens When A Girl Tells A Guy She Missed Her Period

    1. So you’ve been doing the nasty together for a while.

    So much fun, right!

    2. And the other night was pretty amazing.

    Really good.

    3. When you see her coming over, but she’s not smiling.

    Is she breaking up with me?

    4. Then says the dreaded words “We need to talk”.

    What have I done?

    5. You try to remember every bad thing you’ve done since you last saw her.

    Oh God!

    She takes her time to get to the point. But when she does…

    6. Then she drops the news.

    JESUS!

    7. SHE HAS MISSED HER PERIOD!

    *faints*

    8. Then the thoughts start to pour in:

    “Where did you keep it?”
    You try to remember if you used protection.
    “Oh God, why am I so fertile…?”
    “Will she do abortion?…probably not.”
    You trying to calculate the price of pampers:
    And how much you’ll spend to raise a child.
    “Hay God! My mother will murder me.”
    “Why did I even have sex?”

    9. Then you start to think of your options.

    “Can I run away?”

    10. You think to yourself, “Maybe I will make a good father.”

    Then you’re realistic again. You haven’t even finished taking care of yourself.

    11. When you finally accept what is coming.

    “You will be a good father to your child.”

    12. Then she calls you to apologize. Her period just came.

    You want to kill me?!
  • 16 Struggles Every Woman On Her Period Has To Deal With

    1. When you start getting unnecessarily cranky and emotional

    Again?

    2. So you try to figure out when last you got your period

    Not now please.

    3. And you realise it is that time of the month

    What is this nonsense?

    4. Then the killer cramps come

    Death always seems like the easy option.

    5. And you feel like World War 3 is happening inside of you

    When will this internal battle end?!

    6. So you just want to lay down and die

    Urghhhhh.

    7. But your hormones decide to go into overdrive

    And everyone suddenly becomes extra annoying.

    8. And you don’t want to go out because you imagine that everyone sees you this way

    A living, walking and breathing  pool of blood.

    9. And you get more pimples

    Is this even life?

    10. And you can’t seem to make the cramps stop

    Please just stop for one second.

    11. Then someone says “it’s just cramps”

    Face your front please.

    12. And you can’t even manage to sneeze without this happening

    Ordinary sneezing o.

    13. Then your breasts become super sensitive

    Please just stay 5 feet away.

    14. And you can’t even lie down comfortably

    What is life?

    15. And it feels like it’s never going to end

    No seriously, kuku just kill me.

    16. But at last it does and you remember

    Praise the Lord!