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  • Everything You Should Know About Alté Culture Festival ‘24

    If you’re in the mood to party with the cool kids and creatives this March, the Alté Culture Festival 2024 is the yard to stomp.

    It’s another year, another Easter period, and the Alté Culture Festival is back in town. Since 2022, the festival has brought cool millennials and Gen Zs in the Alté community together, curating unforgettable fun experiences. 

    Here’s all you should know about it.

    What’s the Alté Culture Festival?

    A festival for the non-conformist, people who aren’t boxed into the conventional ways of life and expression. Now, imagine a festival where these cool folks come together to interact, party, showcase diversity and support innovation. That’s what the Alté Culture Festival is all about.

    The 2024 edition

    After two successful editions, the festival returns on March 30, 2024, live in Muri Okunola Park, Victoria Island. To those outside Lagos, if you love the Alté community, you’ll find your way here, dear.

    Behind the festival

    If you’re wondering what cool force is behind the Alté Culture Festival, it’s Q21 Solutions — a Nigerian corporate event planning and management firm who have worked on the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards (AMVCA), Jameson Connect, Martell House and many more. With Q21 Solutions, you already know the standard to expect at the Alté Culture Festival — exceptional. 

    Activities to expect

    Alté Culture Festival embodies entrepreneurship. Creatives, big and small businesses get to showcase their products. People in photography, fashion, arts, music, food, are all welcome to showcase their uniqueness.

    Music performances

    At Alté Culture Festival, you get to experience live performances (no backtracks) from the performing artists who are masters in their craft and not bound by style or genre. Artists such as BOJ, OdumoduBlvck, Lady Donli, Somadina, Jeriq, Made Kuti, Prettyboy D-O and more. TGarbs’ DJ set will entertain the crowd with hits, and Sheye Banks will hype them up.

    Tickets are out

    Be the last one to know about the Alté Culture Festival? No way. Be the last one to get to this cool-ass party? No way! Get your tickets ASAP, and let’s make Lagos cool again.

  • All The Activities to Look Forward to at a Community Festival

    Outside has been calling your name, and you finally decided to pick up. But then the invite says, “Community festival,” and you’re completely clueless about what to expect.

    First thing to note about a community festival? You can either arrive with your clique or befriend the cool people you’ll meet at the venue. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s a run down of the type of activities to expect. 

    Live performances

    All The Activities to Look Forward to at a Community Festival

    You’ll catch one or more of your favourite artistes hitting the stage to perform in person. Just make sure you secure a spot up front in case they call for a fan to join them on stage. 

    Contests and games

    Photo source: Zikoko Memes

    We can’t tell you if it’ll be Jenga, Truth or Dare, Never Have I Ever, Guess The Drink or Concentration, but we know for sure you won’t leave the gathering without participating in some adrenalin-inducing game. So, gear up.

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    A dance-off

    All The Activities to Look Forward to at a Community Festival

    Is it really a community festival if you and your friends aren’t dancing your hearts out to the sound of music? We advise that you start practicing now, to make sure your moves aren’t wobbly or outdated when you need them the most.

    Speed dating

    One thing about community festivals? Even if you attend as a single-pringle, there’s a high chance you’ll leave with a talking stage. That’s where the speed dating games come in.

    Food and drink tastings

    You might get freebies here and there, but there’s also the trill that comes with spending your coins on the mouthwatering offerings of food and drink vendors. 

    Content creation

    With all these activities and the bubbly aesthetic community festivals create, either you or someone in your friend group will have to take on the role of content creator. What’s not to love about capturing the fun memories of your tribe? 

    Photo booth selfies

    Every self-respecting community festival has customised photo booths. So, get busy with your phones and capture some goofy-ass selfies with new friends. 

    Outdoor film screening

    Photo source: TimeOut

    Who doesn’t enjoy watching a great film on a big screen in the open air with a bucket of popcorn? Community festival organisers know this. Just make sure you take note of the screening schedule and get to the venue ASAP.

    All of the above can only happen when you have badass hosts like Zikoko and One bank collaborating to organise a community festival where you and your friend, frenemy or the LOYL can unwind and have a great time. 

    “Strings Attached” is on May 11, 2024, at Muri Okunola Park, Lagos. This festival is completely free to attend. All you have to do is download the OneBank by Sterling app, create a new account using ZIKOKO as the referral code and your ticket will be reserved. The limited tickets will be given on a first-come, first-served basis, so hit the app store ASAP. 

    Read this next: Budget-Proof Date Ideas for Friends or Couples Who Love Music

  • How Much Does a Lit December in Lagos Cost?

    As if all the shege we’ve seen in 2023 isn’t enough, Detty December just isn’t “dettying” as it used to. The cost of everything has tripled, and it’s starting to look like home is where the only fun we can afford is.

    But if you’re determined to have a lit December regardless, and still plan to attend music shows and be outside, you should arm yourself with the knowledge of what it would cost you.

    SPINALL – Party Of Your Dreams 2023

    When: December 17, 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. the next day.

    What to expect: Five-hour high-energy live performance from DJ Spinall at the Federal Palace Hotel and Casino, Lagos.

    Budget: Free. But if you live on the mainland, consider your cab fare.

    Flytime Fest (Rythym Unplugged)

    When: December 21, 6 p.m. to 3.30 a.m. the next day

    What to expect: Performances from some of our favourite names in Afrobeats at the Eko Convention Centre, Eko Hotels and Suites, Lagos.

    Budget: Only VIP tickets are available, and each costs ₦156,100.

    Rooftop Karaoke

    When: December 21, 6 to 11 p.m.

    What to expect: A chance to pretend like you know the lyrics to your favourite song and sing offkey. Location is the Boardroom Apartments, Prince Samuel Adedoyin St, Ikate, Lekki, Lagos.

    Budget: Free, but you’ll need to register.

    NATIVELAND Festival

    When: December 22, 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. the next day

    What to expect: An all-day party at NATIVE’s annual music festival, happening at Sol Beach, Lagos.

    Budget: Ticket prices start at ₦20k for students and go as high as ₦150k for the VIP experience.

    Palmwine Music Festival

    When: December 23, 2 p.m. till midnight.

    What to expect: A live music experience with Show Dem Camp (SDC), and of course, palmwine. Venue is the Muri Okunola Park, Lagos.

    Budget: Students can experience the festival with ₦21,100, but other ticket classes range from ₦31,600 to ₦73,600. If you identify as a “Superfan”, be ready to shell out ₦157,600.

    Flytime Fest x Kizz Daniel

    When: December 23, 6 p.m. to 1 a.m. the next day.

    What to expect: A night with the “Buga” and “My G” crooner at the Eko Convention Center. You might want to tag your Nigerian aunty along. Rumour has it that he’s popular with that age group.

    Budget: Only VIP tickets are available now, and you’ll need to shell out ₦104,100 to secure one.

    Otaku Connect ‘23 Lagos

    When: December 23, 10 a.m.

    What to expect: Otaku Connect ‘23 is an anime convention, so prepare to meet anime enthusiasts and cosplayers. It’s billed to happen at the Rango Rooftop Lounge, Lagos.

    Budget: Tickets start from ₦3,500.

    Afropiano Beach Festival

    When: December 23, 1 p.m. till midnight.

    What to expect: An all-day festival featuring vibrant and diverse sounds of African music, performed by some of the hottest Amapiano & Afrobeats DJs. Venue is Sol beach, Lagos.

    Budget: Ticket prices start at ₦25k.

    Flytime Fest x Davido

    When: December 24, 6 p.m. till 1 a.m. the next day.

    What to expect: I mean, it’s OBO. It’s happening at the Eko Convention Center, Lagos.

    Budget: This is also VIP-only, which costs a pretty ₦104,100 per ticket.

    Grand total spend:

    ₦433,900 only (exclusive of transportation costs)

    This total is based on the assumption that you only get student and general entry tickets where available, and are rich enough to attend all the shows — which you must be since you’re determined to have a lit December. 

    There are four shows on December 23 alone. But the more, the better, so hop from one show to the other. The goal is to have enough memories to hold onto when January’s sapa rolls in.


    NEXT READ: No Music Festival? 7 Alternative Ways to Properly Detty Your December

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  • How to Detty Your December in This Tinubu’s Nigeria

    We’re in the last month of 2023, and we can barely feel the celebration in the air. Economy still is hard AF, purses are almost empty, friends and loved ones are on the japa wave. Nothing feels as they used to. Detty December doesn’t bang like it used to.

    But we have one life and can’t come and kill ourselves. If you’re like us, come here and we’ll let you in on a secret; we’ve figured out some simple hacks to enjoying Detty December.

    Work with the president

    It’s been raining special assistants at Aso Rock. Do you see the opportunity we see? If you can convince Tinubu to make you a special assistant’s assistant, you’re all set for December. Start revamping your CV.

    Work in a night club

    It’s not a secret that nightclubs will be full of activities this December. Get a job there,work the bottle service and get the chance to enjoy free music and party with celebrities.

    Play Santa and other mascots

    If you can take up gigs where you’ll cosplay as  Santa Claus or the Teletubbies,  This is your time to shine. You won’t get only money payment out of it; you’ll also enjoy music and kids.. Detty December is all about music and dance, isn’t it?

    Home is where the fun is  is

    If all else fails, sit down in your house o. Because if you step outside for one minute, 100k has gone.

    If you don’t do Detty December outside this year, you’ll do it next year. Trust the vibe.

    Buy unlimited data

    As you already know, outside is fucking expensive. You might as well stay indoors and spend your Detty December budget on data and Netflix streaming subscriptions. You will enjoy movies and views from those outside.

    Not discouraging you from going outside to flex, but also see this as your chance to be the film guru in your circle.

    Go to your village

    If you really need to change your location this December, pity your account and go to your village.  We hope you have the courage to walk away from the noise, chaos,and the bills in the city.

    Organise with friends

    If going to your village is not an option because you want to be with your friends, there’s one more option to explore.You guys can have fun by putting your little Detty December budgets together and having a cheerful and warm house party. Remember a wise man said, “in the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things, does the heart find its morning and is refreshed.”

  • QUIZ: Are You the Life of the Party?

    If you were at #BurningRam2023 you’re definitely the life of the party.

  • The Ultimate Afrobeats Playlist to Prepare You for Burning Ram

    As all roads lead to Burning Ram, the biggest meat cookout and grill festival in Lagos, on Saturday, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to curate the perfect vibe to pre-game to.

    Jam to these ten songs while planning for or heading to Burning Ram 2023. But get your ticket here first.

    Goat Chop Lion – PayBac iBoro

    The song and album, West African Goat, both suggest where rapper, PayBac iBoro’s head is at as he overcomes stronger forces to become the best rapper this side of Africa. On the 2023 track, he maintains competition but gives props to his colleagues, OdumoduBlvck, Reeplay and the rest of the Anti-World Gangsta crew in Abuja.

    Beef – M.I Abaga

    M.I Abaga released MI2: The Movie at the peak of his beef with Kelly Handsome in 2010, with its sixth track, Beef, taking direct shots at Kelly, “Kelechukwu, clap for yourself, well-done.” M.I poked him further, “Kpomo, you no chop. Fish, you no chop. Goat, you chop. You say you want beef.” Kelly replied with Finish You Boy in January 2011, but the world had moved on by then.

    BBQ & Shayo – The Lost & Found

    BBQ & Shayo is the funky lead single off of Face Off, a 2016 album by rappers Boogey and PayBac iBoro, and music producer, Charlie Xtreme (FKA Charlie X), under their collective, The Lost & Found. Singer, Rexx, performed the chorus in Igbo and English, celebrating in anticipation of a good time. 

    And exactly like he sang, tomorrow at Burning Ram, “The party go make sense o. You can bring your girlfriend o, for some barbecue and shayo.”

    Kako Bi Chicken – Reminisce

    The intro on this song is a hall of famer. Reminisce said, “I have moved to greatness,” and indeed Kako Bi Chicken became his breakout song in 2012. Produced by Sarz, this jam keeps the party pumping.

    Chicken Curry – Mr Eazi

    When Mr Eazi was still making Banku music and finding his way from Lagos to London, Chicken Curry featuring U.K artist, Sneakbo, appeared on his 2018 album. On it, Eazi sang that his “thing” tastes like chicken curry. Weird but the song is a jam.

    Chicken, Spice & Curry – Joeboy

    Joeboy featured Ludacris on this 2023 song on his latest album, Body & Soul. Just like Eazi’s Chicken Curry, Joeboy’s Chicken, Spice & Curry is about love and relationships. And you can drop a waist-whine to every rhyme as they roll out.

    Turkey Nla – Wande Coal

    The title refers to a thick lady, and this fast-paced afro-pop jam produced by Dapiano was the ultimate party starter when it came out in 2017. Six years later, Turkey Nla still raises the roof.

    Turkey Nla (Remix) – King Perry

    First off, this is not a remix of Wande Coal’s song mentioned above. This Turkey Nla (Remix) is a song on King Perry’s Continental Playlist EP of February 2023. But it does stress the same message WC had on his version.

    G.O.A.T – Seyi Vibez

    Seyi Vibez released G.O.A.T off his Memory Card EP early in 2023. The song samples old Apala artist, Fatai Olowonyo’s Elewue Wole Medley — a diss track aimed at Ayinla Omowura. But Seyi Vibez flipped it and made his own song about seeking divine guidance and having satisfaction in life.

    The Goat – Monaky

    Monaky released The Goat in 2023, a braggadocious single about his vices and lifestyle. At the time it dropped, many people still compared him to Burna Boy due to their similar vocal texture and music styles. Monaky might’ve been influenced by Burna, but he’s a unique act in his own lane.

    Cue up this playlist as you prep to meet Ramsey at Burning Ram tomorrow.

  • No Music Festival? 7 Alternative Ways to Properly Detty Your December

    Many end-of-year music festivals and concerts will likely not happen this year because the promoters can no longer afford to book our afrobeats artists.

    But that isn’t reason enough to give up on your December enjoyment. If you really want to be in party mode throughout your holidays, you can still have maximum fun these ways.

    DJ and hypemen parties

    Since artists are now too expensive to book, it’s the turn of the DJs and hype-men to take centre stage. No lip-syncing or waiting for an artist to come three hours after the show starts.

    Indie shows

    If an artist you like, whether they’re C or Z-list, has a show, go and enjoy watching them live. There are many independent musicians and upcoming acts throwing shows this December. You get to support them, and they get to make enough money to put back into their music to make more music you lowkey love.

    Spend time in clubs

    You already know you’ll enjoy loud music, alcohol and dance. You already know your favourite club gives you joy every other weekend. But it’ll be pro-max in December. You’ll get to party with invited celebrities and all the big ballers in your city for longer than the usual party hours because it’s the holidays.

    Or go to the beach

    Lagos beaches move like clubs, with their own celebrity DJs. 

    Throw your own parties

    Gather your family, friends and loved ones and load up your favourite jams. Make it old-school, and everyone will be high on nostalgia, singing along till fuel finishes inside the generator (if you like, trust NEPA).

    Street carnivals

    If your street or estate has no plan to organise one, call a general meeting and give them the plan. Everyone will come together, have a good time and get to know that neighbour no one sees. You guys can even make estate merch to strengthen communal relationships.

    Do “Home Alone”

    If you want to be by yourself, that’s cool too. Eat some home-cooked food, drink up and turn up the music. Somebody say, “Macaulay Caulkin, we wanna party.”


    There’ll be music at our meat and grill festival in Lagos this Saturday. Get your ticket and enjoy the biggest meat cookout in Nigeria.

  • QUIZ: Party in Lagos and We’ll Tell You if You Can Survive a Haunted House

    It’s the survival of the littest.

    Whether you survived the haunted house or not get your tickets and make your way to the meatiest festival on this side of the map.

  • Hits We’re Still Partying to a Decade Later

    Such fun times when we shook our bodies and broke our backs to 4/4 beats.

    Do you know that since these afrobeats jams came out, you’ve grown ten years older?

    Jaiye Jaiye

    This Sarz-produced song by Wizkid expressed the artist’s aspiration to do exploits and give his parents the fruits of their labour. Wiz featured the legend, Femi Kuti, who delivered the saxophone sounds that make the song extra memorable.

    Sho Lee

    Back then, when you heard “D’Tunes again o”, you were sure a banger was about to play. In 2013, Sean Tizzle broke into the mainstream with the D’Tunes-produced Sho Lee. And anytime the song came up, your shoulders would anticipate the chorus, “sho le?” — are you a real baddie or an audio one? — so you could lift them up and down in response. 

    Durosoke

    Olamide hasn’t gone a year without dropping a hit song — or three — in his music career. 2013 was no exception. Durosoke was blasting on the radio, in the clubs, barbing saloons, and we could all recite the lyrics. From the beat to the flow and delivery, you can tell Baddo was in a playful mood and that transferred well to listeners. It’s always fun when we sing it out loud and throw our hands in the air.

    Gobe

    At a time when using songwriters or purchasing someone else’s demo was almost unheard of in afrobeats, Davido released Gobe, which was written and produced by an artist called Password. It turned out to be a smash hit. Those who were in love when it came out should be happily married with two kids by now. Even the artist is now a family man. But as for the rest of us, we’re holding out for the wise lyrics of this song to come to pass: “Good comes to those who wait”.

    Kokose

    Sound Sultan and Wizkid combined forces and took over dancing floors when they dropped this banger. Kokose commands your body to move and throws your booty in serious whine, urging you to “fidi jo” like 21 times in the chorus.

    Beat of Life (Samba)

    This song has one of the craziest beats in the last decade of afrobeats. Wizkid asks his love interest to be with him and gleefully boasts that he’s “Mr. Give You Everything You Need” before asking for a dance. This is another proof that Sarz and Wiz don’t miss. Ever.

    Caro

    Wizkid had just launched his label, Starboy Entertainment, when Caro came out and became a dancefloor darling. The song featured Wiz’s longtime affiliate, LAX, on a verse.

    Sexy Mama

    Iyanya had us in a chokehold with his bangers, Flavour, Your Waist and Sexy Mama. No other artist could fit best as a guest on Sexy Mama than Wizkid, who took the catchy chorus. Sexy Mama was for all the sexy babes, and they never waste time before shaking to the thumping tempo once it comes up.

    The Matter

    Maleek Berry featured Starboy on this bouncy vibe that introduced Berry, who was based in London, to a larger audience in Nigeria. We all sang along as Wiz affirmed that “20 man shall fall that day if you cross my lane o, eh.” We can all agree that Wizkid owned 2013. From solo songs to collaborations and label releases, he ATE.

    The Kick

    When you hear The Kick, you’ll shout “One by one, two by two, on the line, line.” “Infectious” and “memorable” are the only appropriate descriptors for this track. Don Jazzy produced and opened the song introducing Wande Coal’s Black Diamond label, then left WC to give us one of his best performances ever.

    Gat Me High

    This is the third track off May D’s first album, Chapter One. In the early 2010s, he was signed to Square Records, a label owned by veteran duo, P-Square. In that period, which can be considered as May D’s peak, we witnessed him deliver impressive cuts like Ile Ijo, Soundtrack and Gat Me High, one of the biggest songs of 2013. Anytime it played, it’s a must to scream “as a sure boy” to show our sability. A jam.

    Tonight

    Burna Boy has been that guy before all the Grammys and sold-out shows. He released Tonight in 2013, under Aristokrat Records, to the delight of an audience that quickly recognised his genius. The smooth blend of English, Yoruba and Igbo over LeriQ’s lush production was pure perfection.

    ATTENTION: Catch the crazy dating stories of our 40+ anonymous writer, once a month from Sunday, June 11, 2023.

  • Would Men Enjoy a Men-Only Party? We Asked Nine Nigerian Men.

    Last Saturday, the hottest party for Nigerian women in 2023 happened. All the hot babes gathered in Ikoyi, Lagos and had so much fun that they HERtitude the talk of the town.

    Amidst the buzz, there were clamours for a male-only party, and banter about whether the male version would be as successful as HERtitude.

    I’ve been facepalming at all the comments and laughing at jokes about how guys can’t have fun without babes.

    I spoke to nine Nigerian men, and this is what they had to say about the idea of a men-only party, or HIMtitude, if you will.

    “It’ll work, but only in small groups.”

    — Conrad, 28.

    It won’t work unless the activities are competitive (either men are the ones competing or they’re watching others compete). Men can’t party together just for partying sake. Ko le werk because the essence of why it was created is lost when it becomes an arena of games. HERtitude was a party. Like, literally just a party. The games they played at the start were mostly warm ups for a night of dancing and drinking. I don’t think we need something that sells itself as the male version of HERtitude. Instead, we should have something completely removed from it. It’s like having an original story as opposed to trying to remake or continue a franchise.

    “I will not be there.”

    — Dolapo, 25.

    “It may sound cliche but it’s only going to bang if there are football matches, board games, drinks, food, and the likes. But I don’t think it’s going to sell because guys like it when they can mingle and make friends with girls. As for me,, I won’t be attending.”

    “HERtitude was for women. Let them enjoy it, please.”

    — Laolu, 29

    “I don’t want to see any HIMtitude or BROtitude abeg. We do these things all the time at bars, lounges, sports pitches, etc. The reason why it’s novel for women is because there are not a lot of spaces that accommodate women alone and it’s largely because men will go into those spaces and try to exert dominance. But men have so many spaces like that. Let women have this one, please.”

    “HIMtitude will be dope for men to teach other men what they should know.”

    — Ayodeji, 27.

    “I think I like HIMtitude, it has a ring to it. I expect to see bottles, chow, games ranging from PlayStation to football, jenga, table tennis and the likes. Musical performances, a smash room, barbers with free haircuts, people teaching men how to do general life stuff that a fatherly figure would have taught you; knotting a tie, changing tyres, etc, prostrate cancer awareness with free tests, etc.”

    Only macho contests and games can bring me to a HIMtitude event

    — Adeolu, 30.

    I might not attend a HIMtitude event, but if I did, I would expect  to see a game booth where you can play one on one games with other guys, like Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, FIFA, etc. Also, drinks, tug of war and other macho contests.

    “A men-only party isn’t bad, but with physical and video games”

    — Zaheir, 23.

    I think it should be more of an interactive event than a ‘show’ event. There should be interactive activities, games and more games. That’s what I’d like to see.

    “A movie booth because I don’t like sports or games.”

    — Adeyinka, 30.

    “I’d very much like to have a movie booth at a men-only party. I’m not a fan of football or games, so usually movies are where the magic is for me. It would make sense to have some of my guys come around and we see a movie together, something like fast and furious. Everyone has gotten so busy these days, it would be nice to catch up as a group. HIMtitude, run it for me, abeg.”

    “There should be childhood games.”

    — Fortune, 25.

    A male version of HERtitude will make sense with the right things in place. Guys bond on different things, so there has to be categories of activities to do. A video game joint will make sense. Runway fashion, art display, music, painting and pure vibes. Spoken word including riddles and gist (riddles in pidgin can be fun). There can be games we used to play as kids like those ‘dancing around the chair,’ ‘name of things that you know’ and other stuff.”

    READ: 7 Nigerian Men on Making New Friends in Their 30s

  • How Leadway Taught Us to Celebrate Happiness Amidst All of Nigeria’s Stress

    They threw everyone a soft party

    You don’t even need so much noise to be happy. You just need a cool party with a nice ambience where everyone can relax and truly forget their problems for a while. 

    Look at the ambience

    It’s totally giving “joy” and we’ll understand if you feel bad for not attending the event.

    And they invited everyone

    If you weren’t there, you truly missed. But Leadway invited everyone on the internet and people showed up for a good time.

    They even had games available

    You just know they’re experts at taking a breather. Parties are fun, but games make them even more fun. This party had many different games from Jenga to Table soccer and even FIFA.

    There was plenty food and drinks

    A good party is incomplete without food. And because food is the way to many people’s hearts, Leadway made sure to deliver. 

    They hosted a karaoke session

    It doesn’t matter if your friends have the worst voices. Watching them fumble as they try to sing Ed Sheeran’s songs or lip sync to Asake’s lyrics would definitely make you laugh your eyes out.

    There was music too

    If you couldn’t sing or were too shy to risk embarrassing yourself, Leadway had you covered with a DJ that played soft music for you to jam to.

    They also shared party packs

    People need something to remind them that at your party, they were happy. And this is exactly what Leadway did. Nothing makes you feel happy as a kid like receiving party packs after a fun day with friends. This party just goes to show how committed Leadway has been to people’s happiness over the past few decades, and we really love to see it.


    Leadway is Nigeria’s largest non-banking financial institution that offers services to businesses and individuals. Their services include Insurance, Pension, Wills & Trusts services, Health Insurance and Asset Management.

  • Quiz: What Kind of Party Girl Are You?

    Our faves! It’s Hertitude season again and we can’t wait to spend time with you. While we wait, you should take this quiz to know what type of party girl you are.

  • Owambe Folks, These Are the Souvenirs We Really Need

    Attention owambe party planners! Times have changed, so we can’t accept jotters and napkins as souvenirs anymore. If we don’t receive these things at your next party, we’re not coming again.

    Rechargeable hand fans

    Don’t you see how heat is dealing with everyone this period? Share rechargeable hand fans at your party, and we’ll pray for you for 40 days and 40 nights.

    Naira notes

    There’s no money in the country, but we somehow still decided to attend your party. You must compensate us with new naira notes o. No jokes about this.

    Eye drops

    This country is showing us shege. Give us eye drops at your party so we can start seeing clearly again. It’s the thought that counts.

    Fuel

    Fuel scarcity happens every other weekend in Nigeria. Be intentional and give us a few kegs of fuel to take home for attending your party. It’s the little things that matter.

    Foodstuff

    Yes, we know we ate jollof rice at your party. But we still want to remember you when we get home. Give me foodstuff so you’ll forever remain in our hearts.

    Partners

    Half the time, we only come to your party to find a partner. Do the heavy lifting for us so we don’t have to attend a hundred owambes before finding our soulmates. You need to start dishing out partners at your parties.

    Food flasks

    We’re coming to eat food and steal extra anyway, so why not give us food flasks to make our lives easier? What do you think?


    NEXT READ: The Zikoko Guide To Throwing An Owambe In Lagos


  • QUIZ: Which Owambe Souvenir Are You?

    Since you’re always asking God if you’re a spoon, we decided to give you an answer once and for all. So take this quiz to find out

  • Baileys Delight Threw The Best Dinner Party Of 2022, And Here’s How It Went

    If we learnt one thing from last year, it’s that nobody knows how to throw a dinner party like Baileys Delight, and we have receipts to prove it.

    This one was a dinner party was designed for maximum delight

    The dinner party was themed “12 Delight Treats” but they forgot to mention that the “enjoyment” in the theme was silent.

    You had to treat your way to getting an invite

    Believe it or not, to stand a chance, all followers needed to do was to let us in on their plans to indulge with Baileys Delight treats over the holidays.

    Things escalated when they announced the celebrity guest 

    In the end, those who won the prize for overall best in foodie eventually got invited to the party for even more Baileys Delight treats.

    And the view was mad

    The venue was excellent—a rooftop dinner party at the Ebonylife Place in Victoria Island with a beautiful skyline view. But the skyline wasn’t the only great view at the event. Just look at the people too. All smiling and happy in the name of Baileys Delight.

    Guests got photo ops with Sharon Ooja, just so they can tension everyone else after the party.

    You just know the party is lit when Sharon Ooja shows up for it.

  • The Most Frustrating People to Be Out With When You Want to Have Fun  

    You’ve decided you want to go out to turn up. Good for you. But if you truly want to have a good time at whatever event you attend, don’t go out with any of these people because they’ll frustrate you one way or another. 

    Couples

    Go out with a couple, and you’ll regret it. All they know how to do is annoying PDAs and to exchange saliva any chance they get. I invited you out for drinks not a dry hump. 

    Ambiverts 

    At least with introverts, you know they prefer to stay home. Ambiverts have on and off days, and sometimes, they don’t even know they don’t want to be out until they’re actually out. God help you if you’re out with an ambivert on a day they want to stay in. They’ll annoy you by constantly acting like they’re being punished. They won’t even try to have fun;, they’ll sit in a corner and press their phones. Meanwhile, they’re the ones who asked to go with you. Chisom, we just got here; stop asking if we can leave. 

    9-5ers

    9-5ers are full-blown party animals. It’s like they channel all the stress from their work into energy for turn up. When you go out with them, you’ll be exhausted within one hour. If you’re out with bankers, architects or lawyers to be precise, just be ready to stay out till 5 a.m. They don’t know when to call it a night, even when they have work the following day.

    Lightweights 

    They never know their alcohol limits, so they end up drinking to stupor and misbehaving. Instead of shaking your ass on the dance floor, you’ll be taking care of somebody else’s child in the toilet.

    ALSO READ: The  Zikoko Guide to Drinking at a Party

    People who live with their parents 

    They’ll try to include you in one stressful lie or scheme so that they can be out. When they’re finally out, they’re paranoid about getting caught. Can’t even post them on your insta story in case one grand cousin’s sister’s daughter accidentally finds your page. Omo, Tunde, this isn’t what I signed up for. Then there are the ones with 9 p.m. curfews, who try to make you leave early too. You and who? Do I leave with your parents?

    People who live far away

    They always have to leave early because their house is far from civilisation. You sef should know better than to invite somebody from FESTAC out at night. If you want them to stay longer, you have to give them a place to sleep.

    Gym buffs

    Latest 7 p.m., they’re heading back home because they have to go to the gym the next morning. And while they’re out, they won’t eat or drink certain things because it’s not part of their diet. And they’ll judge you while you’re eating your shawarma and fries at 11 p.m. As if you’re on the diet with them. 

    Influencers

    All they want to do is record videos of every single thing that’s happening, all in the name of content. Instead of properly partying, they’re shooting “Come turn up with me on a Friday night” vlogs. If you give them the chance, they’ll carry tripod to the club. 

    Zikoko staff

    We’re not normal people. We’ll ask you to do weird things like mix vodka with jollof rice, then you’ll end up with diarrhoea at the club.  

    ALSO READ: All You Need to Know Before Attending a House Party in Nigeria

  • DO NOT Make These Mistakes at Your Office End-of-Year Party

    It’s office end-of-year party szn, and just like with every event involving humans and alcohol, things could get weird. If you still want to be able to show your face at the office when you resume in January, these are the deadly mistakes you shouldn’t even dare to make. 

    Taking alcohol

    You want to go to your office party and drink there? I pity you. Do you know what alcohol does? You’ll just go and drunkenly gist your CEO about the group chat where you people talk and make memes about how she’s a terrible leader. 

    Eating

    You want to eat and still collect Christmas bonus? In this economy? Watch your HR and accounting people. They won’t eat. They’ll just sit in one corner and observe the people who are eating. When others are collecting Christmas bonus, those ones will get their regular salary. And how will they know? It’s not like anyone will reveal they got a bonus. 

    Inviting your partner

    Office end-of-year parties are for spending time with your office partner before you have to endure your actual partner over the holidays. Don’t mess it up by inviting them. 

    Dressing well

    We know you have great fashion sense. But dressing well means you’ll run a risk of outdressing some of the powers that be at the office, and na small thing dey vex people. You’ll now wonder why they’ve not promoted you in three years. Better be wise.

    Also, you don’t need a promotion or raise if you’re rich enough to outdress the CEO.

    Accepting an award

    If you win an award, politely decline it. They’re testing how you react to praise and the spotlight. Rejecting the award will confirm you’re indeed a humble person who should be given even more praise and responsibility. It’s called reverse psychology.

    Forgetting to bring up your compensation

    What better time to walk up to your CEO and talk to him about how you need your salary to 2x in January than in the middle of his end-of-year speech. It’ll show that it’s important to you, and you’ll surely get what you request.

    Attending

    You’ve already failed if you attend the party in the first place. Attending a party when you’re supposed to be putting in extra hours? Going for an event where you know company resources will be spent? These sound like signs of a backward-thinking employee. Do better. Stay at the office and work. You’ll surely be rewarded for this act of punching above your weight.


    You’d Relate to These Memes if Your Office Doesn’t Close for the Year

  • These 7 Things Are Sure to Excite the Party Animal in You

    It’s the end of the year, AKA party season! Whether your definition of a good time is shaking your bum on a yacht or partying all night till you drop, these eight things will excite you.

    A lit crowd

    If it’s not full of lit people, is it even a party? Imagine bundling your limitless energy and readiness to have a good time with a dull crowd? Yeah, no one wants that.

    Music, of course

    Especially electrifying music from badass performers who’ll make you lose any home training you still have. 

    Drinkssss 

    Cocktails, straight vodkas, flavoured vodkas — if it’ll fuel the party animal in you, go for it.

    Banging party venue

    Is it even a party if you can’t take fire pictures and videos to pepper your enemies or possibly get you disowned by your Nigerian parents?

    No rules

    No one to stop you from belting out the lyrics to your favourite song like your life depends on it or putting on your worst behaviour.

    A private location

    Mystery location so basic folks can’t crash in? Sign me TF up.

    The infamous vibes at Hotel Smirnoff

    Smirnoff’s NoKnownAddress Party kicked off this year’s party season with Hotel Smirnoff. It was held at a secret hotel in the Lagos metropolis on the 18th of November, 2022, and you just know it was filled with limitless energy, exciting performances and bum-bum shaking. 

    If you missed this year’s event, make sure you don’t miss the next one. Follow the conversation with #SmirnoffNoKnownAddress on social media to stay informed.

  • QUIZ: Only People That Score 10/15 on This Quiz Can Have a Detty December

    We all deserve a December filled with fun and enjoyment, but only those who can ace this quiz deserve it.

    Choose the ones that apply to you:

  • QUIZ: You’re No Fun if You Can’t Get 10/15 on This Party Quiz

    If you don’t ace this quiz, your life is lowkey boring. Please don’t disappoint us.

    Which of these have you done:

  • The Zikoko Guide to a Colour-Themed Party

    We’re tired of parties where people just show up and dance. It’s time to try something new, like a colour-themed party. They’re fun, creative and they stand out. Here’s the guide to throwing such a party. 

    Pick a colour

    Obviously, it’s a colour-themed party, so of course you have to choose a colour first. We suggest danfo yellow or owambe pink. Be creative with it, don’t be boring. 

    Have a colour dress code 

    Don’t just make people come dressed according to the colour theme you choose. Add a twist. Maybe have people come as their favourite Nollywood characters but according to the colour theme. Imagine Pete Edochie but in all green (including a green beard).

    Make it different 

    What did we say in the first point? Don’t be boring. Don’t do the regular party where everybody just comes dressed in the colour chosen and it ends there. Tell a story with your party. Have a theme, something like Gordon’s playground party. 

    Make it fun

    People can’t just come and dance Ijo laba laba or leg work all night long. Create unique activities and games so people can interact and have fun. We don’t mean extreme games like Truth or Dare abeg.

    Have colourful treats

    Imagine people eating purple pasta or green chicken at your party. It’ll be mad. Another thing you can do is have people bring different foods and snacks according to the colour theme. Some people may bring yellow eba and egusi sha if you choose yellow. So choose carefully.

    Have colourful drinks 

    If you don’t have drinks, how will the party be lit? Just ask Zikoko to be your bartender, and we’ll give you all sorts of colourful cocktails. Or maybe try out Gordon’s new Sunset Orange and Pink Berry flavoured gin.

    By the way, Gordon’s has two new flavoured gins, Sunset Orange, and Pink Berry. Pink Berry is a delicious pink berry gin with the fruity sweetness of pink berries. Sunset Orange is a delicious and fresh juicy orange gin. Both are best enjoyed with tonic and ice; but you can also have them neat.

    QUIZ: This Quiz Can Guess Which Drink Matches Your Personality

  • Halloween Costume Ideas For the Girls

    The hardest part of attending a Halloween party with your girls is figuring out what costumes to wear. Well, look no further, because no matter the size of the friend group, we have a costume for each member. 

    The three witches from My Village People

    For the girlies who are constantly called witches.

    Glamour Girls poster

    What’s better than one bad bitch? Multiple. Go as the women of Glamour Girls this Halloween, and prove to your enemies that the holiday won’t stop you from being glamorous. 

    Beyoncé and Rihanna 

    The most iconic Nollywood duo of all time. If you and your bestie aren’t going as Beyoncé and Rihanna, who are you going as? 

    The sisters from Sugar Rush 

    This is for the baddies on a budget. The outfits are easy to find and you can print fake money to recreate this scene. 

    RELATED: 9 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Relationship With Their Sisters

    Tiwa Savage and Brandy 

    Somebody’s Son may not have found you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dress as these icons for Halloween. 

    Niniola and Teni 

    If you like to dress in more masculine clothes and think you can’t match with your more feminine bestie, we have an answer to your prayers. One of you can dress like Teni and the other like Niniola. 

    The Otedola Sisters 

    All we ask is whoever dresses as Cuppy should help us recreate her iconic birthday party look. 

    Tiannah styling’s best red carpet looks 

    One thing Tiannah will do is have a vast array of looks to choose from for Halloween. You and your girls can try your hands at recreating her most iconic looks. Sorry to your wallet though.

    RELATED: What Were They Thinking? We Rank the Most Chaotic AMVCA Looks

    Erica memes

    Ever since her time in the Big Brother house, Erica has served. However, her memes might be more iconic than her red carpet looks. They’re also cheaper to recreate. 

    Gala and La Casera 

    Mention better besties than Gala and La Casera? We’ll wait. 

    Real Housewives of Lagos 

    Is there a more fabulous Nigerian reality TV show cast? Of course not. You and your girls can recreate their iconic poster looks to really show us what you’re made of. 

    Kelly Rolland and Arya Starr from the Bloody Samaritan Remix video

    If you want a halloween costume that’ll allow you to have fun with your hair, this is the one for you.

    READ ALSO: The Real Reasons Why Women Go to the Bathroom in Groups at Events

  • QUIZ: When Last Did You Touch Grass?

    This quiz knows if you are in desperate need of going outside or if you’ve touched enough grass to last till next year.


    11 Quizzes That Will Help You With Your Sex Life

  • POV: You’re the Girlfriend of Someone Who Parties For a Living

    Chiby is popular for his parties. Most especially the ones he hosts every weekend at SOUTH and Hard Rock Cafe as a side hustle to his 9-5. And if you know him, you know his girlfriend, Naomi, who’s always with him at these parties. 

    We interviewed her about life as the girlfriend of someone whose job is to party every night, and how it’s not always as fun as it sounds. 

    What do you do for a living? 

    I work in finance as a treasury associate for a startup. I’m in accounts payable; I do everything payments related.

    When was the first time you and Chiby partied together? 

    The first time was at SOUTH about three years ago; his friend was throwing a party there. At the time, he was just a friend I was getting to know. I had a lot of fun with him that night, so I went to the next party he was hosting, where he confessed his feelings for me. We ended up making out the entire night. 

    The entire gist is in their love life interview: Love Life: The Day We Started Dating Is the Day I Stopped Smoking

    How has your life changed since you became the girlfriend of a nightlife party promoter?

    My life went from zero to a hundred very fast. I’m an extremely shy ambivert. Before Chiby, I could be home all day and not leave my room; I’d only go out to party occasionally. Once I started dating Chiby, I was everywhere. 

    He knows many people and gets invites to many places, and he’d always get a plus one because of me. At first, it was a lot because I went from being home almost all the time to going out nearly every night.

    I used to have severe anxiety because Chiby and I would walk into a room, and many people would say hello to him. I would just stay beside him, trying to hide. I’d always have to drink before we went out, to ease up. I also had to go out of my comfort zone to be friendly, to avoid coming off as a snob because people had mentioned that. Meanwhile, I was just extremely shy.

    Chiby was aware of my anxiety and always looked out for me. He’d make me feel comfortable at the venue; he’d get me food and drinks while I never even had to lift a finger. He’d also introduce me to everyone who knew him, including the staff. Just so they knew who I was too. He really tried to make it easier for me. 

    So do you just attend the parties and dance all night long?

    I actually do more than that. I’m Chiby’s unofficial manager. Everything he has to do, he runs by me, and I assist him. I help him make sure the flyers have no mistakes and everything at the party venue is good to go. I let him know if there’s a problem with the lighting or AC or anything. 

    During the party, I’m behind the scenes working. I’m looking out for each table and what they need, ensuring the staff are doing their jobs well and informing Chiby if anything isn’t going right. I also look out for Chiby because it’s a lot for him too. 

    I remind him to rest between all the running around he does during the party. I have to tell him to take breaks from work and have fun. When he gets drunk, I stop him from drinking more and make sure he drinks water. 

    You do quite a lot

    I remember when he travelled in December and had to miss one SOUTH party. He didn’t want people to know he wasn’t around, otherwise, they wouldn’t attend. So I had to take over that particular night. Imagine me, a shy person, giving out shots to people. I made sure everyone was okay and that they were having fun. 

    Chiby must’ve been proud 

    Sometimes, it’s actually a whole lot for me. Sometimes, I want to skip his parties and chill at home. But I can’t do that to him. He’s the love of my life, so I need to be there to support him. I always feel bad when I can’t attend his parties because I know he needs me. So I try my best to attend all of them. I also help him promote them as much as I can. 

    ALSO READ: How to Throw a Chaotic Good Party, According to Chiby Iwobi

    A supportive girlfriend, I stan. What’s some of the drama that comes with all this?

    I don’t like being the centre of attention and hate drama. The one significant thing I remember was when a girl tried to stop me from getting to Chiby. I’d been looking for him to dance with, and when I saw him, she was dancing behind him, stylishly rubbing up on him. 

    She noticed me walking toward him and tried to block me. I couldn’t believe it. I had to squeeze myself through to get to him. I didn’t do anything about her because I didn’t want to cause any drama. But this same girl literally told him she wanted to fuck him one day. These things happen often, women being sexual with him. But I’m never bothered because I trust him, and he always puts them in their place. 

    Sometimes, people send me anonymous messages via “Curious Cat” on Twitter. They’d say things like, “There’s no way he isn’t cheating on you.” Chiby also gets extremely sexual messages. But I never let any of that affect me. I’m very secure in myself, and I trust my man. 

    Wow

    The men do their own too. One time, a Lebanese guy slapped my ass at SOUTH. I was so shocked, and the silly man had the audacity to tell me I had a nice ass. It happened outside, in front of everybody, and nobody did anything. 

    When I told Chiby, he was so upset and ready to beat the hell out of the guy, but I had to stop him because I didn’t want any drama to disrupt his party. I face harassment occasionally, but I never want it to ruin the party, so I just let it go. 

    Someone almost assaulted me because I told him not to smoke indoors. 

    ALSO READ: Nigerian Women Share Their Public Harassment Stories And We Are Livid!

    OMG, I’m sorry. That’s a lot 

    Yeah, and it gets lonely sometimes. Chiby can’t be with me all night because he has to work and ensure everyone is okay. My friends can’t come to every party, so there are times when I’m alone and am actually very sad. Those times, I usually dance by the DJ booth. When people see me there, they ask if I’m okay, and I have to lie that I’m fine. 

    But what do you love about Chiby’s lifestyle? 

    I get to go out and have a lot of fun. With Chiby, there’s never a dull moment. We always have something to do, new places to go to. Because of him, I get invited to all sorts of events and places. Most times, I don’t even have to spend money; drinks and food are paid for by either Chiby or the people who invite us. I also love that I get to play dress-up, to put together outfits and shoes for each event. On top of it all, I get to spend quality time with my best friend. 

    Going out to parties has become an escape from all the stress I face in my personal and work life. I’m just out, drinking and dancing, forgetting my worries. Without Chiby and his events, I’d be bored all the time.  

    With your weekends dedicated to parties, where do you find time for other dates?

    There’s always time during the week or on weekends between parties. If it’s a Friday, we have from 5 p.m. after work, to 7 p.m. for dates before we head out to parties. Sometimes, we have our dates at the venue. We just get there much earlier. If the party starts at 10 p.m., we’ll get there at 6 p.m. to have our date. 

    If it’s a Saturday, we have the whole day because he doesn’t host anything then. That’s when we do less stressful activities like painting or going for a picnic. His life can get really crazy with all the events and parties, so it’s good to have more relaxing dates. 

    ALSO READ: All You Need to Know Before Attending a House Party in Nigeria

    Awww, how romantic. I’m curious about how you prep for a party

    The day before, I pick out what I’m going to wear. If I’m unsure, I pack three options to take to Chiby’s house. I head to his house on Friday after work, and we get ready together. Sometimes, I wear all my outfit options, and he picks out which he likes best. 

    I’m horrible at time management, so he’s always trying to get me to start getting ready early. Honestly, my anxiety is the major reason I take forever to get ready. I lay in bed for a long time, with a million thoughts running through my head: “How am I going to cope when he leaves me?” 

    If I’m running really late, and I see Chiby getting restless, I tell him to go ahead of me. The only thing is, when I get to the party, I have to call him to take me inside because I’m super shy and can’t walk in alone.

    How do your parents feel about you dating a nightlife promoter? 

    My parents are cool. They’re not the typical Nigerian strict parents. They love Chiby, and they’re even happy I’m with him when I’m out. Plus I’m 27, I don’t have a curfew or any rules I have to follow. They just let me do me. 


    ALSO READ: Are You Tired of Old Nollywood Parties? 8 Party Themes To Try Next

  • Johnnie Walker Knows How to Throw A Party, and We Can Prove it

    You know how you can see an event on TV and just want to enter through your screen to join them because you know they’re having the best time ever? That was us when Johnnie Walker threw the littest party for week 2 of the BBNaija Season 7 a couple of weeks ago. 

    Abi I should sign up for BBNaija next year ni?

    Tell us a party was fire without telling us the party was fire.

    First of all, just look at the location

    If you enter a place like this and the first thing that comes to mind isn’t, “Omo, I go enjoy my life die today”, then we’re here to tell you you’re a detty liar. That dance floor is giving dance floor

    And then the drinks

    As you’re still thinking, “Omo, this place is nice. Maybe I’ll hide somewhere and sleep here after the party”, boom… you see the drinks.  Herbert Macaulay, the founder of Nigeria’s first political party once said, “What’s a party without some Johnnie Walker Red Label?” And to be honest, the man was right. 

    There were drinks for daysss at this party. 

    Have you ever seen so many beautiful people in one place? 

    The answer is clearly no. At some point, we felt like we were watching the afterparty of a beauty pageant because, ahnahn! They were now dancing to some nice gbedu to brighten their moods. .

    Do you know what “party cloth” is? 

    Johnnie Walker must have told people that there was also a dressing competition o. Because how do you get so many already beautiful people to turn up looking so good? Na jazz? 

    And the music? Hay God! 

    Even we watching from home couldn’t help but dance to the music. If your DJ can’t make people lose their home training and turn up at your party, you should probably get another DJ. This DJ knew what to do and he did it perfectly. 

    Also, we got our hands on some of the music that was played that night. You’re welcome. 

  • 12 Pictures You Can Relate to if You’ve Ever Been Denied Food at an Owambe

    The only thing worse than chopping breakfast served by your lover is being denied food at an owambe. If you’ve ever experienced this, then you can relate to these pictures.

    So you’ve thought about this owambe you were invited to all week, and now you can’t wait to attend. You get there and you totally love the ambiance. Today is going to be a good day.

    You choose your seat strategically so you can avoid any stories that touch the heart

    You dance moderately so you don’t miss the real reason you’re here

    They shart sharing food and you keep your cool so you don’t look too excited

    An hour passes and you’ve still not gotten food

    But the 50+ man beside you has already wiped his plate clean. Now you’re wondering if you’re invisible.

    You swallow your pride and decide to be assertive 

    You ask for food but someone says, “I’ve served everybody here nauuu!”

    You start begging with your face

    Not all-out begging o. You just give them face so that the usher will pity you. So they agree to give you food. All is finally well.

    They come back to tell you that it’s only semo they have left


    RELATED: 13 Pictures You’ll Understand If You’ve Ever Attended An Owambe Uninvited


    You try to hold back the tears as you say, “bring it” 

    But they tell you meat has finished.

    At this point, you can’t hold back the tears anymore

    Someone sees your pain and gives you a souvenir so you don’t feel so bad

    You leave in regrets and decide to try again next Sunday


    YOU SHOULD ALSO READ: 5 Signs You Might Be a Party Hoarder

  • These 6 Nigerian Meals Should Be on All Owambe Menus

    Before you read this article, we want you to rid your mind of whatever you think you already know about food. This is not your regular food article; this is a fight for inclusion.  

    Owambes are great but everyone knows the highlight is the food, which is why no one forgets the party where they didn’t get served or the one with the unchewable meat. 

    If food is such a big deal, why do we limit ourselves to a few key players? Why not include more of these six Nigerian dishes on our party menu? All foods matter after all. 

    Ewa Agoyin

    Nigerians are finally beginning to see the light because a few owanbes already have this on the menu, but we can do better. Since people are always complaining about eating too much rice, it would be nice to have ewa agoyin and soft agege bread as an option.

    Indomie

    Nigerians are in a secret relationship with indomie because why is it okay to fall on it when sapa has you in a chokehold or when you’re too hungry or lazy to spend more than 15 minutes cooking, but draw the line when it’s time to show it off on your special day?

    They make it work in boarding schools, so clearly it can work for owanbe parries.

    RELATED: All The Many Times Indomie Saved Us  

    Bread and Tea

    The more you think about it, the more you see that bread and tea are perfect as both starter and main dish. Sometimes, people just want something light, so instead of having them pick at the food and end up wasting it, how about you try bread?

    Akara and Pap

    Before you raise your eyebrows just imagine this as a starter — you’re munching on hot akara and drinking your pap while waiting for your main dish. In this rainy weather, what could be better?

    You might end up falling asleep at the event, but even though! 

    Bole and Groundnut

    Have you ever had bole and groundnut before? The combination is orgasmic, so what are we saying?

    Garri Salad

    We’re not saying there’s anything wrong with salad, but we are Nigerians forgusake, we’re supposed to stand out and nothing does that better than infusing our salad with garri.

    The Nigerian dream

    ALSO READ: 13 Pictures Of Food That Will Make You Miss Owambes  

  • What Really Happens at a Nigerian Bachelorette Party

    We’ve seen so many movies and books feature bachelorette parties, but what actually goes on during these parties? These five Nigerian women share with us what really went on at the parties.

    “Sisterhood and friendship”

    At the first bachelorette party I attended, the bride didn’t even know it was happening. We had it a week before the wedding and told her it was just a girls’ day out. After lunch, we whisked her away to the Airbnb we had booked. There, we played a mini drinking game where we asked each other questions and they had to chug alcohol when they got the answers wrong. When we were all sufficiently buzzed, we got dressed and went to the karaoke bar to drink some more and sing all our favourite songs off-key. 

    The next day, we ordered junk food and ate until we almost couldn’t walk. We did each other’s hair, painted our nails, and shared our skincare routines. Then, we all talked about our relationships, shared our problems, and gave each other advice. It was beautiful and we all didn’t want it to end. When we had to leave, we cried. There was a lot of hugging, weeping, and promises to never let marriage change us. Three years and two more weddings later, I think we’ve gotten the hang of it. 

    -Yinka 

    “Debauchery and iniquity”

    My friends have always been wild people, so when one of us announced she was getting married, I suspected the bachelorette party might end in someone getting arrested. The plan featured a lot of alcohol, drugs, and clubbing. The bachelorette party was on Friday night and the wedding was the next afternoon. We wanted to hit as many clubs as possible that night because we didn’t know the next time we’d be able to hang out like that again. Marriage changes people and we knew it was going to change us. 

    The first club we went to was a strip club owned by a friend, so we reserved seats and everything. He said it was his small gift to the bride-to-be. He also gave us some money and told us to go crazy. That crazy? We went it. I can’t count how many drinks we consumed that night, but it must have been a lot because the bride-to-be and chief bridesmaid were kissing each other a lot. We didn’t think much about it because we all know they used to hook up sometimes.  

    We dragged ourselves to two other clubs that night and it was just us drinking, getting high, and flirting with each other. The bride and chief bridesmaid were both naked on the bed, and I was topless on the floor with our other friend naked beside me. The two other girls were in their rooms, struggling to wake up. We went to bed around 4 in the morning, but we were woken up by the hair stylist and makeup artist around 6. a.m. so we could start getting ready for the wedding. 

    We got to that wedding hungover, and I could swear that the tears in the bride’s eyes were from the bright lights that gave her a headache. But it made for an “awwn” spectacle, so we ran with it.

    -Alice  

    RELATED: 6 Nigerians Share Their Worst Drinking Experience 

    “I made friends”

    The first bachelorette party I attended was my cousin’s. There were some girls in the bridal train I was meeting for the first time and I liked how we were able to click instantly. 

    We first tried practising our dance routine for the traditional and white weddings, but once we realised we were doing rubbish, we stopped. That’s when we started playing games like Never Have I Ever. 

    At the hotel we stayed at, there was a pool so we went there to continue the party. There was a lot of food, dancing, and talking. When we left the pool, we couldn’t sleep, so we continued to gist upstairs. We eventually went to bed around 3. a.m. but had to wake up at 5. a.m. to start getting ready for the wedding. The girls and I are still friends and they may even be my asoebi girls at my wedding.

    -Amina 

    “It can be anything you want it to be”

    My friend’s bachelorette party was a bit different because it was held with the groom and groomsmen as well. The bride and groom felt like since the bridesmaids and groomsmen hadn’t had a chance to get to know each other properly, the best place for it to happen would be at a party, with overflowing alcohol.  

    I learnt two very important things that day. The first was that grown men and women still play Truth or Dare, and the second is that my friends don’t have shame. 

    The party happened at one of the groomsmen’s houses because the bride and groom wanted it to have a homely feel, but the homeliness left when we started playing Truth or Dare. When the game started getting a bit too intense, we broke off into different groups to just do whatever we wanted. Some played charades, others played Jenga and I had a threesome with the bride and groom. 

    I think that the whole point of a bachelorette party is to be able to do whatever you want with friends. 

    -Bimbo

    RELATED: 7 Nigerian Women Talk Threesomes

    “Marriage counselling 2.0”

    The bride is very religious, so the bachelorette party mainly constituted of other married women giving her advice on how to handle certain things in her marriage. Even when we played games, the questions we asked her were centered around her relationship with the man she was marrying. 

    There were food and drinks, but no alcohol, and it was very disappointing, to say the least. When I was invited, I was hoping for a slumber party type of vibe where we did our hair and made our nails. Instead, what I got was marriage counselling 2.0.

    -Adaeze

    [donation]

  • 8 Types of People You’ll Meet at a Queer Event

    The only things  certain in this life are taxes, death and these eight types of people you’ll be lucky to meet at a queer event. 

    1. The are-we-here-for-the-same-event? people

    No. The answer is always no. So what if it was supposed to be a casual event? These ones always look like they just came back from a fashion show, with their two-piece outfits and fancy boots.  Never to be caught unfresh. 

    2. The overly friendly gay man

    He talks to you like he has known you for years, which makes you feel warm and welcome,especially if it’s your first queer event. He’s most likely going to introduce you to people you’ll keep meeting everywhere until you become friends. You won’t find him after that because he’s too busy hopping friend groups. 

    3. The 30+ lesbians

    Technically, they’re never really 30+, they just behave that way. They sit together like old men in a club, but when they get wasted? That’s when the party begins. 

    4. The baby gays

    You can always spot them in the crowd. They’re either too hyped or quiet as fuck, looking as gay as the eyes can see. You’d behave any of those ways too if you finally found your community after…. 

    5. The mom friend lesbian

    They don’t even have to be your friend or know you. They’ll just walk up to you and ask if you’re doing okay and how you’re getting home? Legit the sweetest set of people you’ll ever meet as a baby gay in a queer event. 

    RELATED: Every Queer Friend Group Has One of These

    6. The party hopper

    Home? What’s that? These guys live for the next thrill. They always know the right places to go and the next happening event. Their energy needs to be bottled up and sold because how do they do it? 

    7. The ones bonding on the floor 

    Wherever six or nine queer people are gathered, four people will  bond over trauma. If you pass by them, just walk away because as soon as you sit down, it’s about to be filled with tears and feelings you didn’t come to a party for. It does feel good talking about it in a safe space, though. 

    8. The couple

    Wherever you find one, you’ll find the other. They’re like rainbow magnets that always find their way back to each other. They’re cute to look at, though. Especially older couples. They just give people hope. 


    CONTINUE READING: The Lesbian Dating Experience: Expectations vs. Reality

  • A Party with a Purpose! Johnnie Walker takes Island Block Party to Heights

    Johnnie Walker partnered with Island Block Party to host one of the highly anticipated events of the year. It was truly an unforgettable experience as they served us the perfect blend of music, whiskey and games.

    Guests had fun engaging with the Johnnie Walker #NoLabels quote while making up their own quotes to spice up the fun. Others had fun with the live experiences on-ground from the face painting to the customized merch provided by some creatives.

    With its theme – #PartyNotConcert, the hypemen and DJs kept the energy up as they thrilled guests with some of the chart-topping music. The climax of the event was when Victony, one of the most promising breakout acts of 2021, ditched his wheelchair to deliver some of his hit songs while standing on his two feet. It was a moment to behold.

    Other performances which took our breath away were Focalistic giving us some of that Amapiano magic and Falz, dropping some of his comic skills along with his tracks. Johnnie Walker also had its bar on-ground with enough of its signature highball cocktails and Red Label Pocket Scotch to keep the crowd pumped up for the artist’s performances.

    Guests had a fun-filled night and were super ready to party till the morning. No surprise there though! Anywhere you find Johnnie Walker, best believe the show never stops. This partnership encourages young creatives to freely express themselves and keep walking their paths irrespective of the negative labels thrown at them.

    See some of the experiences below:

  • QUIZ: Plan A Night Out And We’ll Tell You What Kind Of Roommate You Are

    What kind of roommate are you? This plan a night out quiz will tell you.

  • 5 Exciting Reasons You Should Not Miss Smirnoff’s “No Known Address” Party

    Are you looking for ways to kick-start your Detty December plans? Here’s one suggestion: don’t wait till December, start the fun in November with Smirnoff’s No Known Address party.

    And here’s why…

    1. It’s a good way to pepper your enemies

    Enemies choke when they see you outside and enjoying your life to the max. Which is the more reason you should pepper them by attending Smirnoff’s party.

    2. It’s the first of it’s kind in Nigeria

    Smirnoff NKA party beats all the parties you’ve attended hands down! It is going to be a highly experiential night of infamy. If you identify as a rascal with your full chest, then prepare to hit the road from wherever to enjoy bold and vibrant experience at this party.

    3. There is No Known Address for the party

    Even your haters can’t crash the party because it’ll be at a mystery location that won’t be disclosed until few hours before the event. In other words, if you miss it, you miss out BIG TIME!

    4. Your favourite music stars will be there, LIVE!

    No Known Address promises to be a never-before-experienced party as the Smirnof Brand has shortlisted a number of superstars including Falz the Bahd Guy, Joe boy, DJ Spinall and many others.

    5. There’ll be no dull moment

    It promises to be a night of delicious cocktails, music, dance, games, and many more. No dull vibes!

    When’s this Smirnoff’s No Known Address party?

    It’s scheduled to take place in Lagos at a yet-to-be disclosed address on Saturday, 27th November 2021. For your December to be detty, it’s best you start the fun in November, don’t you agree? Register for the Smirnoff No Known Address party via @islandblockparty on Instagram, like right now.

    Don’t forget to share this with your party buddy!

    [newsletter]

  • QUIZ: Plan A Birthday Party, And We’ll Guess Your Hobby

    We can guess your hobby based on the type of birthday party you plan.

    Try us:

  • Club Girls Are Not Runs Girls: A Week In The Life

    A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week.


    The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a club hostess and waitress. Club hostesses help clients with reservations and carry out bottles with sparklers when people buy expensive drinks. Our subject talks about the stereotype associated with her job, balancing school and work, and some of the most expensive drinks she has served.

    FRIDAY: 

    I feel lucky that I have a job because I can’t imagine how I’d cope without one. A little back story: I’m currently living in Akure because of school and outside of classes, I have nothing to do. A typical day for me usually involves class, hostel, class, hostel, rinse and repeat. 

    With a job in the mix, I’m happy there’s finally some variety: class, hostel, work, rinse and repeat. Keeping a job as a student requires constant moving around of my schedule. Some days, I go from work to class. On other days, it’s from class to work. 

    Today, I’m going from the lab to work. School ends at 4 p.m., and I have to prepare for work at 6 p.m. The club officially opens at 9:30 p.m. but resumption time is 6 p.m. 

    I work as a hostess in a club and I like to call it waitressing pro-max — if such a name exists. 

    My job is to go to work, be on my best behaviour, look beautiful, put on a smile and welcome customers. It’s also my job to show them to their table and make them comfortable. On nights where we have a full house, I also substitute as a waitress and help serve drinks.   

    The part of my job I love the most is seeing people buy expensive drinks, hey Jesus! Dorime things.  When I’m hyping the person popping drinks by dancing and carrying lights, I’m constantly reminding myself that if the drink falls, I’m finished. Some of these drinks cost more than my annual salary. I haven’t gotten used to seeing people casually spend millions of naira on alcohol in one night. 

    But, I try not to visibly show my shock because the show must go on. 

    School is currently in session, so my work schedule has changed from every day to only Friday to Sunday. From 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. Although, I still find myself working during the week because work is fun and my co-workers feel like family.  

    SATURDAY:

    Midnight of Friday/Saturday morning:

    I resumed work at 6 p.m. yesterday. I barely made it to work on time because I overslept when I got to the hostel. It took the grace of God for me to jump up when I did and I rushed to work. 

    The first thing I did at work was to eat the cereal I packed. Next, I started making reservations for guests coming later at night when we fully opened. At some point, I helped the barman take inventory and plan the drinks for the night. When I was tired, I went to a restaurant in the same building as the club to chill. 

    At 9 p.m., I went to change. I was torn between a red dress with a thigh slit and a plain black round neck shirt. I almost chose the red dress, but I remembered that the last time I wore it, a man pointed at my nipple, another slapped my butt and one couldn’t stop staring at my breasts — even though they aren’t that big. And so, the plain black round neck won. 

    3 a.m.

    I’ve been by the door welcoming guests all night. In that time, I and the other hostesses have danced up to five times for people popping drinks. I’ve also worn a mask to hide my face during those five times because I’m shy. 

    In this same night, I’ve also gotten offers from people who say they want to fuck me. One even offered to triple my monthly salary if I go home with him. Wonders shall never end. 

    4:00 a.m. 

    The alcohol has finally kicked in. The DJ’s playlist is fire. People have stopped coming in and now I’m catching my own fun.

    5:00 a.m. 

    I’m not doing again. I’m tired. These people should come and be going home. 

    6:00 a.m.

    God. These people are still here dancing and partying. Don’t they want us to go home? Are they not tired? I’m tired. 

    I miss my bed. 

    7:00 a.m. 

    Finally, the last customer just left. Thank you, Jesus! 

    Noon

    Nobody can separate me from this bed. Not food, not water, not even phone calls. I want to sleep till tomorrow if I can. 

    5 p.m.

    I can’t believe I have to get up for work. This adulthood is very somehow because someone can’t even relax. Just work every day until you die. 

    SUNDAY:

    Midnight of Saturday/Sunday morning

    Tonight has been uneventful. People are coming in much slower than usual and the energy on the dance floor is off. With the kind of evening I had when I got to work, I’m glad things are slow now. 

    For the longest time, I’ve suspected that people view so-called “club girls” differently. However, today’s incident proved me right. 

    The owner of the club I work in owns a hotel within the building our office is in, and I chill at the hotel’s bar and restaurant all the time. Yesterday, [male] friends from my school came to lodge in our hotel. That’s how I went to say hi to them because these are friends I had before starting this job. 

    As I was leaving their room to start work, I heard someone say, “she has gone to do the job they hired her for. The job of fucking customers.”

    My heart dropped, my palms and face were covered in sweat, and I was speechless. 

    It’s somehow when people just stereotype you. Club girl doesn’t mean she fucks around. Club girl doesn’t mean she’s for sale or wants your money. Club girl doesn’t mean she’s not a person; she’s a human being too.  

    Last last this work is not for everyone because if you don’t have sense they’ll run you streets. 

    3 a.m.

    The last customer just left, so we’re done for the day. However, according to our contract, we can’t leave until 6:00 a.m. Everyone is either sleeping or about to sleep. I can’t because my body is already used to sleeping during the day.

    To pass time, I try to match drinks to their prices. We have:

    Hennessy Paradis. We sell for ₦1M and people buy it like pure water. 

    Azul costs ₦400k and is decent. 

    — Ace of Spades is ₦450k. 

    Hennessy xo is ₦350k. Same price as Remy XO. Dom Perignon is around ₦300 – ₦350k too. 

    Don Julio is ₦400k. 

    — Then we have the Moet family which costs ₦65k. This is in the same category as Hennessy VSOP. 

    — We sell Glenfiddich between ₦65 – ₦85k too.  

    — Our Ciroc goes for ₦45,000

    There’s a drink for everybody. 

    6:00 a.m.

    Finally, my watch has ended. I’m going home to sleep all day. I’m grateful that my colleagues told me to go home while they stayed back to balance the account and clean up. 

    MONDAY:

    6:00 a.m.

    The only thing powering me this morning is energy drinks. Last night was so busy that you’ll never have imagined that the next day was Monday. Customers were everywhere, so I barely had time to rest. To make things worse, my first class starts at 8:00 a.m. today and attendance is compulsory. 

    I have to do everything in my power to not touch my bed. Anything that makes me lie down small, that’s the end. I’m gone. I just need to manage till 2 p.m. when school ends for today. I don’t know how I’ll survive the lectures, but the first step is getting to school in one piece. 

    It’ll soon be a year since I started doing this job. It’s funny how this job started as a way to keep busy and earn passive income after the lockdown was eased, and school was still closed. Now, it’s something I’ve come to enjoy. Beyond that, I’m really grateful I have a job I enjoy that occupies my time. 

    As a student, there’s no greater feeling than knowing I have my own money. I don’t depend on anyone for anything: I see something, I like it, and I save for it. Apart from the occasional harassment, this is a job I enjoy doing. 

    I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I had nothing to do.


    Check back every Tuesday by 9 am for more “A Week In The Life ” goodness, and if you would like to be featured or you know anyone who fits the profile, fill this form.

  • QUIZ: Plan A Party, And We’ll Guess Your Salary

    Think we can’t guess your salary based on the type of party you plan? Think again.

  • QUIZ: What Kind Of Partygoer Are You?

    Some people live for the phrase “turn up” while others, well, not quite.

    Take this quiz to find out which category you fall into.

  • QUIZ: How Much Will You Blow This December?

    Will your December be dirty? If yes, at what cost?

    Take this quiz to find out:

    [donation]

  • 5 Things You’ll Definitely Hear At A Nigerian Children’s Party

    If you were forced to attend enough parties as a kid, you’ll definitely be able to relate to this one. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out that every Nigerian MC attended the same MC school for MCing children’s parties.

    1. “A Chu Chu….A Chu Chu”

    I promise you, MCs this is not the only way to start a party, and this is not the only way to test a microphone.

    2. “Who can tell me why we’re here?”

    The answer is always something like “Destiny’s birthday!” And the winner will win something like a Caprisonne.

    3. “Who can tell me the celebrant’s name?”

    “Destinyyyyyyyy”

    4. “Go and bring your mummy to dance”

    Mothers will be sitting on their own and somebody will just drag them out for some embarrassing dancing competition. Kids really need to be stopped.

    5. “Is she the winner?”

    After the dancing competition for the parents, the children will spend the next twenty minutes equally embarrassing themselves in the name of dancing. And then obviously the winner will win something too. The circle of life.

  • 7 Things Nigerians Will Do Once The Coronavirus Vaccine Is Out

    Good news. Two coronavirus vaccines have shown some serious promise and might be deployed as early the last days of November. Yaay. While this doesn’t mean COVID will be over by Christmas or even late next year, it’s safe to make plans a future where something close to normalcy is restored. Like many others, Nigerians are getting ready to go back to the things they’ve missed during the pandemic.

    1. Fornicate

    If there’s one thing Nigerians like above partying, it is fornicating. For hardened fornicators among us, the pandemic has been difficult. You see those ones in long-distance relationships? Hmm.

    12 easy ways to initiate sex with your husband - Motherhood, Parenting,  Lifestyle Blog Nigeria

    2. Go clubbing

    It has been burning Nigerians inside their bodies that they have been able to club for 8 months. Once things go back to normal, Quilox will look like crusade ground.

    3. Go for church crusades

    Speaking of crusade grounds, it’s been a minute since your mother had the opportunity to call down holy ghost fire among her peers. You just know the first church crusade after the pandemic is going to slap so hard.

    4. Owambe

    The way weddings and other parties are going to return with a vengeance, you’ll think people were trying to kill themselves.

    5. Beach

    The beaches have been empty for a long time. Once the pandemic is over:

    6. Travel

    The pandemic has had the world on lockdown throughout this year. For the rich we’re meant to be eating, they’ve missed posting champagne in front of the passport on IG stories. All they’ve been posting is old vacation pictures captioned “Take me back😭😭”

    Passports and Boarding Passes | Travel photos, Trip, Traveling by yourself

    7. Restaurant-hopping

    You know these people. Every Saturday, they are at a different restaurant. During the lockdown, all their IG was quiet. When things return to normal, you’ll have to check whether its them you’re following a food channel.

    Cactus Restaurant, Victoria Island (Lagos)-Review

    Read: 5 Ways To Handle A Long Distance Relationship

    [donation]

  • 7 Things We Miss About Owambes

    Corona is outside and we can’t party as hard as we want. But that does not stop us from daydreaming about all the things we miss, right?

    1. The aso ebi.

    Or even colour codes for the party. We miss being genuinely excited to dress up for an actual event.

    2. The live band.

    And good music that will make you throw away your home training. Whew! God when again?

    3. Spraying money.

    The face you make when the music enters your bones. The face you make when you’re really ready to spray that dollar. The face you make when you want to show them that you mean business. Just what we miss!

    4. The food.

    Nothing beats the taste of party Jollof. Nothing at all.

    5. Showing off.

    Because really, what is the point of an owambe if you don’t show off and oppress your haters with your slay?

    6. The souvenirs.

    Those really fabulous parties where they share anything and everything from matches to tomato paste to Mama Lemon soap.

    7. The premium fun that only a correct owambe can give you.

    We really miss owambes. Can Corona please pack her load and be going? We have heard your message ma, and we are sorry. Please come and be going.