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Nurses | Zikoko!
  • Dear Nigerian Nurses, Your Patients Have Something To Say To You

    Dear Nigerian Nurses, Your Patients Have Something To Say To You

    1. Talking to us through the pain is the right move.

    Do this.

    2. When you want to give us injections, one place is enough.

    The body is not a pin cushion.

    3. When you exhaust all the spaces on our butts, please don’t start with our thighs.

    It’s painful!

    4. When you’re giving us injections, don’t ask why we’re crying. We are in pain!

    You would cry too, if someone was sticking needles into you.

    5. And no, don’t compare us to a child (or an adult) who isn’t crying.

    Not our faults their bodies are made of steel.

    6. When we are sick and not eating, shouting at us doesn’t help our apetite.

    We will still not eat.

    7. No, do not diagnose us before the doctors have a chance to.

    Thank you.

    8. When you’re rushing to close your shift, an overdose on drugs or injection is not the right way.

    Please we are begging.

    9. Hungry means now, not after your favorite Telemundo episode.

    We are humans too!

    10. When we come to get birth control, it doesn’t mean we want to sell our bodies.

    Props for being responsible?

    11. When we say it’s an emergency, we are not trying to play with your time.

    Is it till someone dies?

    12. When you put us on a weight scale, no need to comment on the weight.

    Yes we are aware that “we have added oh”.

    13. Don’t leave us sitting at the reception forever. We are people too.

    And that malaria won’t cure itself.

    14. A little smile goes a long way. Please smile.

    We just want you to nurture.

    15. We know you gossip about everybody at the hospital – including us.

    I can hear you!

    16. We paid for this bed and for treatment, so stop expecting us to pack and go before we are fully well.

    So sorry for the stress.
  • 12 Things That Are Too True About Doctors In Nollywood Movies

    12 Things That Are Too True About Doctors In Nollywood Movies

    1. When a Nollywood doctor hears that a patient doesn’t have money.

    Bye!

    2. Nollywood doctors and sleeping with nurses.

    In. Every. Movie.

    3. When they only check the patient’s temperature and diagnose them with HIV.

    Oshey, Doctor Abracadabra!

    4. “We’ve run all the tests and we can’t seem to find the problem.”

    How will you find it with only stethoscope?

    5. When they suggest that the patient goes to see a babalawo.

    Just like that? Not even another doctor?

    6. When the patient comes in with a broken hand and ends up with a bandaged leg.

    Na wa.

    7. When they go everywhere with a stethoscope around their neck, just in case we forget their profession.

    We know you’re a doctor, biko.

    8. When every patient they treat ends up in a coma.

    Shouldn’t we be worried?

    9. When their answer to everything is “we need to perform a surgery”

    Even for malaria.

    10. Whenever the patient sees their final bill.

    Kill them oh!

    11. When they start saying “we tried all we could…”

    Na so.

    12. How they announce that someone has died:

    Wow!