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Nollywood | Page 42 of 42 | Zikoko!
  • 7 Things Evil Nigerian Bosses Do To Their Employees

    Nigerian bosses are known for their ‘unique’ approaches when it comes to mentoring or ‘disciplining’ their coworkers.

    It tends to be similar to a ‘Nigerian parent to child’ relationship.

    Examples of these relationships have been highlighted in the past by Zikoko here and here.

     

    But truthfully, we all know a relationship between a boss and his employee should be like none of these! So today we are here to speak on such matters.

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    This is a call of duty to all Nigerian employees. If any of the following apply to you, you have an evil boss matter on your hands:

     

    1. Has your boss ever asked you to kneel down at work and beg for your job?

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    2. Locked you out of the office gate because you were simply 10 minutes late?!

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    3. Has your boss ever threatened to slap you?

    EBIL BOOSES

     

    4. And actually gone through with it?!

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    5. Or mentioned how ‘useless’ you are in front of all your junior colleagues?

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    6. Or made you stay in the office till after midnight simply because he is wicked and wants you to be as miserable as he is?

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    7. Has your boss asked you to go and fix their shoes, carry their handbag or pick their kids from school? But you are in fact the bank manager with multiple degrees?

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    If any of these sound familiar, share your experiences with Zikoko by emailing your most shocking and hilarious experiences to lola@zikokomag.com and we will ANONYMOUSLY share with your fellow Nigerians the things that some evil bosses in Nigeria do to their employees.

     

    If you are feeling brave or looking for social media fame, feel free to tweet us @zikokomag using the hashtag #EvilNigerianBosses.

     

    May their wickedness never prosper!


     

    Featured image by Zikoko Contributor @kpmy_.

  • If Nollywood Actors Were Cartoon Characters…

    If Nollywood Actors Were Cartoon Characters…


    We know Nollywood actors. We grew up with them. Some of them are so typecast in our minds that seeing them in other roles would almost literally kill us.

    I mean, imagine Patience Ozorkwor as a good person. That is not a pretty picture.

    But have you ever tried to imagine these actors as some of your favorite cartoon characters? A Zikoko community member, Kolapo Oladapo (@kpmy_), tried it and sent them in. It’s a hoot:

    Phineas and Ferb vs Aki & Pawpaw

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    Same level of mischief and an almost unshakeable commitment to making every day of their lives fun.

    Cinderella’s Wicked Step Mother, Lady Tremain vs. Bukky Ajayi

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    Yup. That’s the horrible mother figure with attitudes that make you just want to bitchslap them through the entire movie. Terrible, those two!

    Wonder Woman vs Genevieve Nnaji

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    Genevieve has never been a superhero, and she does not have super powers BUT she is beautiful and has a super perfect, fit body. If that’s not wonder woman, I don’t know what is.

    Uncle Ruckus vs Mr Ibu

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    Do you even need words for this? Not only do they look alike, they both are characters that are usually annoying in appearance, behavior, and attitude. And they’re usually anti-heroes! But they got jokes!

    Crying Alice vs Nkiru Sylvanus

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    Alice usually goes back and forth between crying and scolding herself, but Nkiru’s characters’ sole identification is usually the stream of constant tears, till the end of the movie when she marries a prince, or a rich man.

    Ursula vs Patience Ozokwor

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    In a movie, if Patience Ozokwor is the mother in law, the wife is done. She cannot make it again. And if Ursula has her tentacles in you, well, consider yourself royally screwed.

    King Triton vs Pete Edochie

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    Regal, powerful and full of wisdom, he rules the kingdom – or his family – with an iron fist.

    Rafiki vs Peter Fatomilola

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    Old, frail, wise, knowledgeable witch doctors. Really old, really bent. They might not look like it, but they usually know what they’re talking about. And they’re not shy to tell you their minds.

    Prince Charming vs Ramsey Noah

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    Knight in shining armor. Handsome prince. Suitor extraordinaire. Always looking for a fair maiden.


    Are we wrong? Aren’t these comparisons spot on? Share with your friends to get their opinions too!

  • 5 Foolproof Ways To Stand Out At A Nollywood Audition

    5 Foolproof Ways To Stand Out At A Nollywood Audition

    If you’re an aspiring actor looking to get your big break in Nollywood, gather round and listen. It’s hard out here in these acting streets. There are quite literally thousands of people trying to achieve the same dreams as you and, if you pay attention, you will run into them at every audition you go to. The best way to snag roles is to stand out from the crowd. Here are 5 ways you can do this.

    1) Go possessed by the spirit of the character you’re auditioning for.

    Nothing shows commitment quite like coming for an audition already in the mood. If you’re auditioning for a lead role, be the lead character from the moment you walk in. Will people find you annoying? Yes. But will you stand out? Yes. And that’s the goal. Before you roll your eyes, remember that Beyonce showed up at her audition for Dream Girls dressed as the character she was auditioning for. If Beyonce can do it, who are you?

    2) Emotionally blackmail your way to a role.

    Tell the casting directors that it was your dying mother’s last wish to get this role and that the only thing that will dull the pain of your mother’s passing is if you get the part. Also, let slip that if you don’t get it, your mother’s spirit will never find peace in the afterlife. The fact that your mother is indeed alive and well doesn’t matter. You have to tug on those heartstrings to get what you want.

    3) Turn your audition into a one man/woman show.

    We don’t mean a one-person show in the typical sense. Go up there and act out a scene involving 6 characters, with you playing every single one. Show them that Eddie Murphy has nothing on you. The casting directors will be too scared by you running across the stage and doing different voices that they’ll have to let you finish.

    4) Threaten the casting directors with juju if they give the role to anyone else.

    Take it a step further and threaten the other actors auditioning too. Tell them that if they get offered the role and actually take it, you’ll trap their soul inside a groundnut bottle. When you brandish an elephant tusk decorated with cowries and vulture feathers, everybody will act right and do the needful.

    5) Just walk into the room and ask:

    Before you try this, make sure that you’re dressed accordingly. Whoever said dress how you want to be addressed, was not lying. If you want to be treated like a rich person, dress like one. This will involve borrowing clothes, accessories, a phone, a car, and a whole new accent. Don’t worry sha. You’re up to the task.

    In the upcoming Inkblot productions movie, Superstar, the protagonist, Queen (Nancy Isime), shows us what it’s like to make your time at an audition count. Catch Superstar in cinemas around Nigeria from the 29th of December 2021.

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