Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wordpress-seo domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/bcm/src/dev/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121
Nigerianparents | Zikoko!

Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • 10 Tattoos That Will Get You Disowned

    If you want to get disowned by your Nigerian parents, Try any of these tattoos in this article. Don’t message us when it works sha.

    1. The chessboard

    First of all, no one wants to see this on a human being. At least wait until your parents have added you to their will. Everything is so expensive. 

    2. The Village people on crack

    How do you even get a tattoo like this and not have nightmares? This picture is probably the origin story of Karashika. If you are trying to label yourself so your village people can find you easily this will work. Get ready to be disowned!

    3. Eye don’t work

    Of all the tattoos you can get on earth, this is by far the most foolish. Not only do the eyes not work, but you’ll be walking around scaring random people for no reason.

    4. The Louis Vuitton beard

    Trying to grow beards stress Nigerian parents, but since you are on a path of destruction, you can just tattoo your beards instead. D for? Disowned.

    5. Love na bastard

    Because nothing else would drive someone to do something like this. If you want to be disowned, you should get this tattoo

    6. Bill almost Clinton

    This tattoo will make sure you don’t get a visa because of the blatant disrespect for that man’s face, which will, in turn, lead to you getting disowned, but by all means, carry on.

    7. The inked nightmare

    If you are against your peace of mind and your partner’s good sleep, you can get this tattoo. Good luck.

    8. Avocado lovers

    If you can get this tattoo with your full chest, knowing how much people hate avocados, what’s a little disownment to you? Please, go for it.

    9. The cat’s butthole

    If you are trying to score points with cats by getting this tattoo, it won’t work sha and you’ll just get ignored.  If your parents see it though, they’ll pay attention to you at least and you’ll get disowned since that’s what you want.

    10. The destiny sucker

    How do you even hide or explain a tattoo like this to Nigerian parents? Abeg, don’t try this tattoo.

    [donation]

    Malakai Bassey

    , , ,
  • QUIZ: Can You Guess The “Nigerian Parentisms” From These Pictures?

    Nigerian “parentism” simply means what Nigerian parents do/say in certain scenarios; their behaviours and mannerisms.

    Based on visual cues, can you guess what your Nigerian parents will say or do in these situations?

    Give it a try below:


    Hassan Yahaya

    , ,
  • 9 Tricks To Appear Like An Adult When Talking To Your Nigerian Parents

    Welcome to adulting 101, you should be jotting down these points:

    1) Share something cool you learnt about Nigerian history with them.

    2) Complain about children of nowadays not receiving the kind of discipline you did.

    Kids these days.

    3) Talk about starting your own business.

    …because salary is the bribe they give you to forget your dreams.

    4) Tell them you prefer the music from their time over pangolo music these days.

    5) Explain the many merits of eating at home instead of going out.

    There’s really rice at home.

    6) Mention something about politics.

    We have enough politicians clowns to get source materials from.

    7) Bring up the back pain.

    To be honest, there’s no real adult that doesn’t have back pain. Or any kind of pain for that matter.

    8) Follow up by talking about work lethargy.

    Especially on Monday mornings!

    9) Lastly, tell them you are thinking of marriage.

    Bingo!

    Hassan Yahaya

    , ,
  • 11 Things Nigerian Parents Say When They Are Losing An Argument

    Parents are always right. Period. No questions asked.

    It’s a hot day, you are countering your parents with logical and well-laid points. Finally, a win to complete your training and establish your dominance. Suddenly, your parents bring out one or more of these from their arsenal of an adult is never wrong.

    1) “Children of nowadays.”

    Na wa oh.

    2) “Will you keep quiet.”

    Ahan.

    3) “When I was your age.”

    Again?

    4) “I didn’t raise you like this.”

    I give up.

    5) “You are trying to kill me abi?”

    Why so dramatic?

    6) “Go and find your real mother.”

    Mummy pls.

    7) “See this child of yesterday.”

    I am 32!

    8) “You met me in this world.”

    Just small Google points that I dropped.

    9) “Was it not me that sent you to school?”

    But…but.

    10) “Your children will do the same to you.”

    Ahan!

    11) “I am talking you are talking.”

    Isn’t that the definition of conversations?

    What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

    Hassan Yahaya

    ,
  • Quiz: How Strict Were Your Nigerian Parents?

    Nigerian parents often have good intentions, however, their methods can be somehow.

    Can we guess how tough growing up was?

    Take the quiz below:

    Hassan Yahaya

    ,