Nigerian Uncle | Zikoko!

1. So you’ve just finished NYSC and your adulting has fully begun

Yes o!
2. And all your mates are running up and down trying to get a job

Applying up and down!
3. But you’re not really bothered because your uncle at NNPC told you to bring your CV after NYSC

I’m not even bothered.
4. And even your aunty at CBN has told you to put your mind at rest

I’ve got zero worries!
5. When you see your mates busy applying to banks up and down, you’re like

2 or 3 jobs are already waiting for me sha!
6. How you get yourself ready to see your uncles and aunts that have promised you the world

Let me slay for them!
7. How you give them plenty missed calls when they don’t want to pick up

What’s happening here?
8. You, when you go to their office and their secretary says they’re not around

So whose car did I see outside?
9. When you now try applying for other jobs but they’re all closed

I have finished myself!
10. You, when you see your mates going to work and you’re still jobless

Take me with you now!
11. When you see your aunties and uncles at family weddings, you’re like

You people don’t kuku have shame.
12. The next time a family member says you should bring your CV, you’re like

I don’t want!

Shola

March 17, 2017

Oldies

annoying Nigerians, funny nigerians, Nigerian Aunties, nigerian families, Nigerian Uncle, Nigerians, NYSC, uncles
After making us cringe and laugh hard with ads like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RygPMqmwIg

Gold Circle has come again with another really hilarious ad. A Nigerian uncle overheard his niece talking about how her boyfriend gave her plenty ‘ horsepower’.

When your uncle hears you talking about nacks with bae.

How you lie when he asks you what you meant by ‘horsepower’.

We would tell you to stop doing bad things, but most of you won’t hear word sha. So just watch this video in the mean time.

Maryam

December 5, 2016

Gist

condom, gold circle, Nigerian Ad, Nigerian Uncle, Sex
1. The Nigerian uncle starter pack:

Can’t even argue.
2. When you have to talk to him on the phone.

https://twitter.com/Josh__IK/status/668364306132676608

3. “You know I was there when your mummy gave birth to you.”

And then?
4. When he says “the last time I saw you, you were a baby,” but still asks if you remember him.

Is this a rhetorical question?
5. When he comes to visit and turns you into house-help.

See my life.
6. When he swears he knows the most about football.

We’ve heard you.
7. “So, did your mummy cook?”

Just like that?
8. Whenever you don’t greet him properly.

Ah! No vex.
9. Whenever he brings up the marriage topic around you.

Free me oh.
10. When he promises you something but then acts brand new the next time you see each other.

See betrayal.
11. When he cracks a dry joke, but you’re broke so you have to laugh.

*Laughs in empty bank account*
12. When he says “you don’t call me” or “I’ve been trying your number.”

I’m confused.
13. When he starts an argument about politics.

Not me and you, abeg.
14. “You’re now big oh. Turn around let me see you well.”

So that what?
15. That legendary goodbye handshake.

You’re the best.

Daniel Orubo

December 10, 2015

Oldies

African Uncle, Nigeria, Nigerian Uncle, Uncle