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nigerian girl | Zikoko!
  • 1. When your parents start looking for your wedding venue the minute you start walking.

     Can you just let me suck breast first? 

    2. When they buy toy car for your brother but buy you kitchen set.

    I didn’t come to this life to cook plis

    3. When they are sharing chores, this is your list while your brother’s list only has wash car on it.

    4. This is the summary of the sex talk your mum gave you when you started your period

    Just like that.

    5. You can’t make any small mistake in your parents’ house without hearing is this how you’ll do it in your husband’s house.

    Small mistake o

    6. How your parents reacted when your brother managed to make noodles for the first time.

    And it wasn’t even sweet sef

    7. How they react when you make Jollof Rice, Asun, Fried Chicken but forget to fry Plantain to add

    That’s how you’ll go and disgrace us in your husband’s house

    8. How your parents reacted when your brother brought home a female friend

    YOU’RE THE TRUE SON OF YOUR FATHER.

    9. How they reacted the first time a boy just used side eye to look at you

    If I see that boy again.

    10. Once your mum noticed you were growing breasts these are the kind of clothes she started buying for you

    You won’t disgrace me.

    11. Meanwhile at school all the boys forgot where your eyes were located

    Abi do you want Amadioha to punish you?

    12. Going to buy bread down the street and before you even lock your gate one Emeka has come to profess his love to you.

    I’m not interested please.

    13. When a guy who was just toasting you starts abusing because you said you weren’t interested

    So confused.

    14. When you hear that a boy in school is telling everyone you slept with him because you shook his hand one time

    But how?

    15. When your parents spent your entire childhood chasing you away from boys now they’re asking you for husband.

    As if they sell husband in the market.

    16. When your parents’ reply to anything you do is ‘But when will you marry?’

    Matriculation? When will you marry Graduation? When will you marry? NYSC?  When will you marry? It never really ends, does it?

    17. Ever had the sex talk with your Nigerian parents? This is probably how it went.

  • How Nigerian Couples Fight

    When you’re complaining to your girl that you and Femi haven’t fought in a month.

    So you send him the “we need to talk” message.

    How you act when he comes and tries to hug you.

    “LOL, ok what did I do now?”

    “SO YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW?”

    “Jesus! Look at how you’re now shouting like a mad woman”

    “It’s your side chick that is mad!”

    “Which side chick now?”

    “Your ‘edible catering’ now”

    “Which one is ‘edible catering’ again?”

    “So you’re going to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about abi?”

    “You’re really not making any sense”

    “It’s your mother that doesn’t have sense!”

    “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BRINGING MY MOTHER INTO THIS?”

    “Omg why are you now shouting at me?!”

    “Because you’re always taking things too far!”

    When you realise you’ve actually taken things too far but the show must go on…

    “So now you’re keeping quiet abi!”

    “But why are you now getting angry?”

    “Ok fine, let’s forget it. I’m sorry”

    When you realise that he’s actually apologising for the fake drama you started:

  • A Nigerian Teenage Girl Was Kidnapped And Forced Into Marriage And We Have Questions

    Abducted and far away from home, 14 year old Ese Oruru is an underage bride to her captor and is currently being held in Kano.

    On August 12 2015, Ese was taken by a man from her mother’s shop in Opolo, Bayelsa.

    Her mother Mrs Rose Oruru, a food vendor, had returned from the market to meet her daughter’s absence.

    Learning that Ese was last seen at 11 am of that day, a worried Mrs Oruru began a search for her daughter.

    She also informed the police and some of the northern artisans who bought food from her. She later learned of her daughter’s abduction from a man named Mohammed.

    The story was corroborated by another man named Dan Kano who promised to help bring Ese back home.

    Apparently, a certain Yinusa sold his commercial tricycle, packed up and took Ese to Kano for the sole purpose of marrying her and forcefully converting her to Islam.

    Dan Kano rather than fufill his promise, sent a man named Rabiu to accompany Mrs Oruru to a village in Kura, Kano where Ese was being held.

    They presented the case to the community chief of Kura but unfortunately, he wasn’t sympathetic and mentioned Ese being held at the Emir’s quarters. He also told the anguished mother that Ese had converted to Islam and was no longer the daughter of the Orurus.

    Rather than getting frustrated, Mrs Oruru only became more determined and marched to the said quarters with Rabiu.

    They were both barred from entering the palace but went on to report to Kwani police station after an elderly man alerted the police.

    Upon obtaining permission from the police station in his village, the Chief of Kura brought Ese to the Emir’s palace on August 17 but she was not granted access to see her mother.

    Following several visits to the police station and transfer of the case to the State Criminal Investigation Command in Kano and Bayelsa states, some men including Dan Kano were arrested in Bayelsa.

    Also, Yinusa contacted Mrs Oruru over the phone stating how he sought permission from Dan Kano before taking Ese with him.

    How does someone seek permission to take a teenage girl away from a man that is not related to her in any manner?

    Ese’s parents made another trip to Kwani police station on September 2 in the company of Dan Kano and the Chairman of the Hausa community in Yenogoa.

    They were received by the Emir of Kano who claimed to have previously sent a letter demanding Ese’s release on August 26.

    Ese’s parents turned to Non Governmental Organisations such as the Child Protection Network who have raised awareness to help secure her safe return to her family.

    The Inspector-General of police however credited the delay in tackling the case to the Emir’s absence due to his Hajj Umrah trip.

    This raises several questions. Should the police not be completely in charge of the case?

    Also, how many other teenage girls have been kidnapped and forced into marriages as such?

    How is it possible for her captor to be walking free despite being responsible for the kidnap of a minor?

    Why is a community chief preventing Ese’s release with obvious backing from the police in his community?

    Forced marriages stay on top of the list of things that negatively affect female teenagers. Kidnapped girls are also usually sexually exploited and manipulated in several other ways by their captors. We hope Ese gets safely reunited with her family.

    [zkk_poll post=21241 poll=content_block_standard_format_15]
  • Watch This Little Nigerian Girl Slay At The New York Fashion Week

    At only 10, this little Nigerian-American girl has experienced a lot of struggles which include body shaming and bullying from her peers.

    Egypt Ify Umele, a fifth grader at a school in Queens, New York got teased mercilessly and called all sorts of names.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BB_MjYnHsDp/?taken-by=bullychasers
    The bullying resulted in her going to the hospital on many occasions. She was also once stabbed with a pencil.

    Being a creative child who started sewing using thread and needle, she launched her clothing line named ‘ChubiiLine’.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BCHs2hansL2/?taken-by=bullychasers
    Moving on from thread and needle, she started making clothes for her dolls and then proceeded to making adult and children clothes using her grandmother’s sewing machine.

    Her clothing line was her clapback for her haters. ChubiiLine was named after one of the names the bullies called her “Chubby” and is targeted for children, adults and also features plus-size pieces.

    Her clothes were showcased for the first time at the 2016 New York Fashion Week and she has become the first child plus-size designer to grace the fashion show.

    Ify wants to bring Africa to America through her designs especially through the use of African prints and styles.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BA5CCF_nsJ-/?taken-by=bullychasers

    Check out this video of her collection at the 2016 New York Fashion Week.

    We wish her all the best and hope all her dreams come true.

  • Could This Girl Be The Next Nigerian Supermodel?

    Celebrity photographer and musician, TY Bello is famous for taking breathtaking photos with exceptional lighting.

    She recently photographed Nigerian-British rapper, Tinie Tempah for the cover of the prestigious THISDAY style magazine.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBN22uqo2f_/?taken-by=tiniegram
    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBNqlbokbH3/?taken-by=tybello
    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBNqI5CEbGl/?taken-by=tybello

    While Tinie Tempah looked amazing, it was this Nigerian lady who stole the spotlight! She posed so effortlessly, didn’t she?

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBNptvykbFa/?taken-by=tybello
    Well, she happened to have randomly walked into the shoot while hawking her agege bread and made the picture even more beautiful.

    Falling in love with the photo and the lady’s gracefulness, TY Bello via her Twitter and Instagram pages expressed her interest in meeting her and probably making her a model.

    Do you know who she is? We hope she is found and we look forward to seeing her grace beautiful magazine covers and runways.

    Featured Image via TY Bello