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Sure, we’ve all had different lives — that’s the human experience — but as Nigerians growing up in Nigeria, some experiences were damn near universal. Experiences that could be summed up in the following lines.
WARNING: The lines below could potentially give you flashbacks to the nerve-wracking days of your childhood, not unlike the time Xavier mentally transported Magneto back to his childhood as a Jewish prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp because Magneto was kicking his ass.
In other words, strap in. It’s going to be a wild ride.
1) “Finish your food quick. Your lesson teacher is here.”
2) “We’re going to the hospital to take injection.”
3) “Go and bring your result. Let me see.”
4) “If your note is not complete, come outside.”
5) Your name on the list of noisemakers x38
6) “Rats will eat you alive if you don’t clean your room.”
7) “If I go and look for it and find it there, what should I do to you?”
8) “Eat the food I’ve made or go to sleep hungry.”
9) “Go and wear your slippers and meet me outside.”
10) “I’ll deal with you when I get home.”
11) “You’re resuming boarding school next week.”
12) “It’s time for our weekly movie viewing of Agbara Nla.”
13) “If you don’t go to church, you’ll be left behind when the rapture happens.”
14) Did I not ask you to take the meat out from the freezer?!”
Childhood, we all miss those moments away from this scam called adulthood. Yours probably had the good times with Baba Dudu, early morning cartoons on NTA and rolling tyres down the street. But what are the moments from the late ’80s and early ’90s to reminisce on as a child? These eight Nigerian parents and baby boomers share moments they miss about their childhood.
Felicia, 53
I miss being by the water side with my mum and siblings.
I loved visiting the pool at Federal Palace and Sheraton Hotel almost every Sunday. When we didn’t have money, we would go to the beach. My mum wanted so much for us to experience life outside of Mushin. We weren’t rich, but she never wanted us to feel like we couldn’t afford to enjoy life just because we didn’t belong to the upper class. The only thing I hated about being by the pool or beach was having to wear a skirt over my swimsuit. As much as my mum wanted us to live life, she was strictly against us ever showing our bodies.
Kunle, 48
My fondest memories are at Bar Beach with my dad, mum and sister.
The beaches in Lagos were different when I was 10. I wish I could go back to the drive up to Victoria Island on sunny days and the walk up to the sandy beach, while holding my dad’s hands as I struggled to get sand out of my shoes. I loved to ride the horses along the shore and feel the jolt of each gallop each time the rider holding me jerked the reins. If I could, I’d totally go back to those sunny days at Bar beach, but I’d probably skip one of the last few times we visited. I was casually chilling in the ocean with my dad when an under current almost carried me away. Luckily, my dad was a powerful swimmer so he managed to pull me out before I got too far.
Onyeche, 52
The best thing about my childhood was spending time with my grandmother at Boji-Boji, Agbor in Delta State.
It was back in the 1980s, and I can still remember spending nights at her quaint house during my holidays from secondary school. She never stressed me with chores like my mum. All she did was ask, “Che, what would you like to eat?” My answer was always roasted corn and pear/coconut. My siblings always found it annoying to request the same thing all the time, but I really didn’t care and grandma never complained either. On the few days she ignored my request, she’d give me money to buy delicious rice or beans with plantain from Mama Ogugua’s canteen behind the house. Right now, I’m looking for who can feed me like this because adulthood has tired me.
Aisha, 60
I miss the peace I experienced in Kaduna before the religious crises.
I haven’t been back since my mum and I left for Ibadan in 1983. I’d love to relive the moments sleeping underneath the mango tree when it got too hot inside the house. There was no fear of being robbed or killed in the middle of the night and we could sleep outside our home. It was so good that I could pack up my things from school in Ibadan and get a bus going to Kaduna State as late as 7 p.m. without any fear. I don’t have any reason to go back now, but I wish I could.
Adeyemi, 57
I can still remember the Afro-Brazilian festivals during Christmas and New Year on Lagos Island as a young boy.
I miss hiding to watch the different masquerades — Egungun, Oiko, Abey, and Eyo — from Campos Square. I enjoyed the drumming and dancing as the colourful outfits of the masquerades moved along the streets. I miss walking from house to house to wish the elders Merry Christmas, collecting pennies in return, and later sitting on the floor with my friends as we ate from trays of rice and stew.
Imaobong, 63
I miss the days of being friends with my siblings.
It’s one thing to be bonded by blood, but we actually loved to spend time gisting with one another late into the night at our family home in Calabar. Everything changed when we entered secondary school and made other friends. We weren’t as close and some of my siblings ended up in gangs that made them different. I’d give anything to just be able to sit with them again and talk like we once did.
Tunde, 55
A lovely memory I would like to relive of my mornings as a child in Obalende.
I come from a polygamous home, so nobody really bothered about what I spent my time doing. I would wake up and go to Dodan Barracks to watch young privates/soldiers on their morning parades. I loved joining them from behind and marching along as the commander led the parade round the barracks. After that, I would walk through the European Quarters like Rumens Road, Gerald Road, Alexander Street, Bourdillon, and Queen’s Drive (now Kofo Abayomi street), plucking mangoes. My strolls would usually end with me swimming at the lagoon or fishing.
Emeka, 65
There were many interesting moments as a young boy but watching football with my boys in Teslim Balogun Stadium and National Stadium tops the bunch.
If a match was 4 p.m., we would arrive at 11 a.m. to enjoy the music and fun activities before a game. On the days we didn’t have the money to make it into the stadium, we would scale the fence or wait for the gates to be opened during half time. Sometimes it would get so rowdy that the guards would have to throw tear gas at the people gathering around the gate after a match. I’ve stopped watching football now, but I wouldn’t mind one more moment of cheering at a Nigerian FA Cup or Principal Cup match at the stadium.
Since every Nigerian parent clearly went to the same training school, all of us had frighteningly similar childhoods. Most of our experiences made no sense in retrospect, so we’ve made a list of 11 that will make you go: Why did that even happen?
1. When you got beaten for coming to school late.
Hian. Am I the one in charge of logistics?
2. When you got punished because school fees was not paid on time.
Shouldn’t you be punishing my parents?
3. When your mother got mad at you for accepting food from her friend.
You don’t trust your own friend again?
4. When your father told you to go wear your shoes and then just left.
Why didn’t you just say “no”?
5. When your parents beat you for injuring your self.
Have I not suffered enough?
6. When your mother got mad at you for revealing your travel plans.
7. When distant relatives got upset that you didn’t remember them.
I was 3 months old the last time I saw you.
8. When your parents bought you oversized clothes to “grow into”.
Don’t I need clothes now?
9. When they always had to inspect the party packs before you ate from it.
Are you done, FBI ?
10. When they force you to finish your food even when you’re clearly full.
Kill me oh.
11. When your mother screams at you in the name of helping with your homework.
Growing up, a number of games shaped our childhoods and frankly our whole lives. Tinko-tinko taught us pristine hand-eye co-ordination, Ayo sharpened our math skills. We are pretty sure this list isn’t exhaustive, but for me these are the most memorable childhood games I can remember.
Who is in the garden?
Who remembers how the chant went?
“Who is in the garden?”
“A little fine girl”
“Can I come and see her?”
“No no no no”
Suwe
To the ajebos its hopscotch but to me, it’ll always be Suwe. Who remembers slipping bits of chalk stolen from class to draw the lines for Suwe during break?
Ten-ten
For reasons I’ll never understand, this game was only ever played by girls. It was mad fun though.
After round one
This game was the bane of my existence because I always lost, but that didn’t stop me from playing it every day. I’d go home with my hands red and smarting but would still play it the next day.
When will you marry?
It’s funny how for me this went from being just a childhood game to a real-life question I’m asked every day.
Tinko-tinko
Your hand-eye coordination needed to be on point for this one. Miss a beat and you lose.
Name, Place, Animal, Food, Thing
Trying to fill out this form for X, U, V and Q used to be so hard.
Fire on the mountain
I remember never really running too far once I heard “There is fire on the mountain, run run run” so that I could easily get a partner once I heard “the fire is out”.
Boju-boju
You might know this one as hide and seek, but the real OGs remember this as boju-boju.
Form a big circle
This might not have exactly been a game itself but it was the start of all the greatest games from there is fire on the mountain to ‘who stole the meat from the cooking pot?’
I’m sure I left many out so please help me jog my memory!
