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Obviously, we were at our own Burning Ram, so we got an exclusive interview with the star of the day, our raffle draw prize, Chibuzor Ramsey Thee Ram.
Zikoko: Ramsey!
Ramsey:
Zikoko: My idolo!
After you, na you. There’s no counterfeit. My goat.
Ramsey:
Ram.
Zikoko: Sir?
Ramsey: My name is Chibuzor Ramsey Thee Ram. Did you hear “goat” in my name?
Zikoko:
Okay, sorry. Our bad. Do you have some sort of beef with go…
Ramsey:
If you’re going to disrespect me, you better move from my front. People want pictures with me.
Zikoko: Don’t be angry. We just wanted to find out if you and “that one” had issues. We won’t lie, you guys look like you share the same daddy.
Ramsey: Are you calling me ugly?
Zikoko: Never!
Ramsey: Take it back. Take it back before I ram into you. Look at me, take a good look at me, then go and look at that ugly, smelling thing. Do we look alike? I have horns, do goats have horns?
Zikoko: Well, ye…
Ramsey: Please, we’re not the same. I’m a hard worker, I’m tough, my people give limited edition suya, for God’s sake.
Zikoko: That’s true. Ram suya does taste really nice.
(Someone comes to take a video of Ramsey, and he turns to Zikoko.)
Ramsey: Shift.
Zikoko: Hmm?
Ramsey: Can you leave my video? Leave my video, please. Thank you.
(Zikoko steps to the side.)
Zikoko: How does it feel to be popular?
Ramsey: Great.
(He turns to Zikoko.)
I’m finally stepping into my glory. This is what I was born to do, to be a star.
Zikoko: Fame looks good on you.
Ramsey: You can see it too, right? Imagine if it was a goat?
Zikoko: So, what’s next for you? Do you have any plans?
Ramsey: I should be asking you that question.
When I’m done here, what’s next? You people will put me in a hotel until #BurningRam2024, right?
Zikoko:
Ramsey: I know the economy is moving funny right now. But you people need to make the money move and put me in the presidential suite of Eko Hotel, nothing less.
Zikoko:
Ramsey: I’d also need an assistant and a manager. Free tickets to all Zikoko events are a must. I want a spa day after this too because you people’s sun wants to burn me frfr.
(Ramsey looks up and sees Zikoko in the distance.)
Ramsey: Zikoko! Did you hear all I said?! I have needs, and you need to meet them! Zikoko: When you meet your new bestie, you can tell them all your needs!
Burning Ram is just around the corner. If you haven’t gotten the memo, it’s not just an event; it’s a foodie’s dream come true.
We already told you to come with a wild appetite, but that’s not all. We’ve got some more interesting tips to help you navigate the culinary wonderland you’re about to witness on Saturday.
Class is in session, grab your note pads!
Have a mission
Remember, you’re coming to the mecca of meat, so there’ll be loads of fun activities to keep you occupied. As a true foodie, decide the experiences that are most important to you ahead of the day, to avoid stories like “When and where did that happen?”
Arrive early
Doors open at 12 p.m., and we don’t do African time. OG foodies also know arriving to the party early is the ONLY way to avoid missing out on any goodies.
Bring your takeout packs
We told you there’ll be lots to win, eat and drink. There’ll also be lots to take home, so bring your own takeout bowls, packs and bags to make this as convenient for you as possible.
Attend the grilling masterclass
How else can you convince your ops that you don’t just eat food, you also create mouth watering delicacies? Chez Ro will drop gems on the art of grilling the tastiest meat come Saturday.
And the suya tutorial
Imagine combining your new grilling knowledge with suya making, you’ll be unstoppable. But this will only be vivid imagination if you don’t make it a date with Chez Ro.
Remember to tease your tastebuds
We’ll be having some culinary Michael Jacksons at Burning Ram, so you better prepare to shock your mouths and bellies with all the not-so-popular meat recipes that’ll be up for free tasting.
Come with your clan
We’re not saying you cannot come alone o, but what’s better than one foodie? Three foodies eating together. Think about it. Nothing will be too expensive because y’all can split the bills.
And your tickets
But you already know all these cannot happen if you don’t have your tickets to Burning Ram. You still have time to fix up, so see you soon.
I recently took a short trip to an amala joint in the Onipanu area of Lagos. An IG influencer had visited the spot and raved about how good and, most importantly, affordable the food was. So, I carried my ₦1k to the place and even had an extra ₦500 in case I was tempted to splurge. After completing my order, my bill came to a staggering ₦3500. How can?
It turned out the protein servings gulped half of my bill, and while it looked like I’d splurged unnecessarily on meat, it now seems inconsequential compared to these individuals’ biggest food expenses.
Dayo*
I once visited a random amala spot in Ibadan during a work trip. It wasn’t one of the popular spots, but they had quite a crowd, indicating that they did something right. I didn’t think to ask about the prices when I ordered because I assumed everything there would be cheap. I mean, it’s Ibadan and it wasn’t a fancy spot.
I bought assorted, bush meat and goat meat along with semo. When I asked for my bill, the attendant said ₦7500. I wasn’t sure I heard correctly, so I asked again, and then she broke down the price of everything on my plate. Apparently, bushmeat sold for ₦2500, and I bought two.
Sesan*
I once took my friends out to an amala spot in Surulere. I’d just been promoted at work, and they insisted I celebrated. I chose the buka because I thought it’d be cheaper and I wouldn’t have to spend too much. Everyone got turkey, assorted meat and brokoto (cow leg) with their swallow of choice. The bill came, and it was around ₦25k. When I checked, about ₦18k of the total amount was the cost of meat. I paid, but I didn’t leave the place smiling.
Demola*
We had this family function in Ogun state sometime in 2022. Some of my mum’s friends arrived late when the caterers had already run out of meat. There was rice, amala and porridge, but nothing else to accompany it. I saw how distressed my mum was, and it was also quite obvious that the people that just arrived were hungry. I remembered I’d seen a suya guy setting up some blocks away from the event centre, so I went to buy from him. He was reluctant to sell his entire stock to me so I ended up buying ₦30k worth of suya.
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Jide*
I once hosted my birthday at a local nightclub back in uni. Most of the day was stressful because I had a series of tests and had to submit assignments. When I returned to the hostel, my friends dragged me to the club with a plan to have some drinks and suya.
Unfortunately, the suya guy didn’t come, and we were left with just drinks. The owner of the place overheard us grumbling, about this and mentioned that she had asun. I don’t know if it was the birthday excitement, hunger or just the alcohol talking, but I told her to bring the entire pot of asun. When we finished and asked for the price, the asun alone was ₦25k. I’m sure it wasn’t more than ₦10-15k asun in that pot, but I didn’t bother pricing. I paid, and we left. I woke up the following day remembering how stupid I was to squander ₦25k on mid asun.
Deji*
I was staying with a friend in Abuja for the festive season. I stepped out one night for a walk, and on my way back I saw this nice suya spot. I had ₦2k with me, which would’ve been more than enough to buy suya in Lagos. I got to this aboki and requested chicken suya. I heard him charge another guy ₦400 for two sticks of suya so I bought five sticks each for myself and my friend. When it was time to pay, this guy returned my ₦2k and said my money wasn’t complete.
I was confused until he explained a stick was ₦1k. He refused when I tried to return the suya, and insisted I paid. Baba collected his complete ₦10k. I ate the suya with an aftertaste of regret in my mouth.
John*
I’ll always tell anyone I know to hold money when you go to these bukkas in remote villages and ask questions about the meat. Last year during a work trip to Oyo, I and a friend had to split an unexpected ₦12k bill. Turned out they served an assorted mix of bush and antelope meat. Those things don’t come cheap.
One of the activities I anticipate at local food joints is choosing protein. Good ol’ beef hardly interests me; I crave the weird-looking parts that often surprise my taste buds.
Standing there, I ask the slightly-irritated amala seller, “What part is that? What about that one? Is that round-about? What about the one that looks plaited?” Occasionally, she’s fascinated by my curiosity; other times, her expression screams, “Uncle, wrap it up.”
If, like me, you often face a dilemma when confronted with a large pot of assorted meat parts, grab a note. There are lessons to learn.
Ponmo
Photo: BBC
People may argue that it is tasteless and lacks nutritional benefits, but ponmo is king. It’s processed cowhide/skin with a soft, chewy texture. Ponmo is served in sauces and pairs well as a side offering with Nigerian swallow.
Rib Cut
Source: Beef
This is meat found in the rib cage area of a red meat animal. You’ll often find it in upscale restaurants with fancy names like smoked barbecue ribs, honey barbecue ribs, etc.
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Oxtail
Many people get confused with this name, but this part is simply cow tail. It has a distinct flavour that slaps when used for pepper sauces, stew, and pepper soup.
Cow Foot (Brokoto)
Source: Abuja Food Delivery Mart
This portion of cow meat doesn’t come cheap. It can be boiled or fried and is popular among the Igbos as the preferred option for nkwobi. It often requires a lot of cooking time to soften it up.
Tripe
Source: Niyis
Also known as shaki, this is animal intestine. It has a rough and spongy texture that often requires a lot of cleaning. Shaki is mostly served in the company of assorted offerings and is a preferred protein option for ofada sauce.
Round About
Source: Nairaland
It’s a cow’s intestine shaped like a roundabout, hence the name. You’ll find it among the assorted offerings that come with amala or ofada sauce. It’s not a regular protein option, so it’s hardly bought as a standalone.
Liver
The gist is, your Nigerian fried rice is not complete if you don’t have liver cuts in it. It also comes along with assorted offerings for amala or ofada sauce. It’s best enjoyed fried.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
My friends never agree with me when I argue with my full chest that there’s no beating turkey’s supremacy. It’s that meat that gives, whether you’re having it with swallow, rice or as a standalone grilled or peppered treat.
Since Artificial Intelligence (AI) claims to know all, I decided to put it to the test. I went to the almighty Chat GPT to help us rank the best meat for swallow in particular. While I can’t say I completely agree with this list, AI told no lies.
6. Goat meat
Source: Dooneyskitchen
If you can ignore the strong stench, Chat GPT might have a point here. Goat meat is bae, especially when you have it with white or black amala. But why does it have to be so expensive? A portion sells for as high as ₦500 – 1000 at local bukkas. Not a good spend when you consider the ponmo you’ll get at the same price.
My ranking: 3
5. Chicken
Source: Sisijemimah
How can? I completely disagree with this ranking. The only time chicken should show face on your plate is when it’s with rice, spaghetti or chips. If for any reason you choose to serve chicken with any Nigerian swallow, it should be deep-fried to a crunch and soaked in the pot of soup for three working days.
My ranking: 4
4. Beef Suya
Source: SisiJemimah
Sound ridiculous, but AI might be on to something here. Have you ever tried a generous serving of spicy suya with vegetable soup? It is a serve. However, by all means, avoid kilichi with any type of Nigerian swallow.
My ranking: 5
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3. Catfish or tilapia
Source: Dobby’s Signature
The focus is meat, but if AI insists we should include any type of fish in this list, then I’ll have to partially agree. I think the only acceptable way to eat catfish is to have it smoked to perfection or in a spicy pepper soup broth. Tilapia, on the other hand, is a serve with any Nigerian swallow.
My ranking: 6
2. Turkey
Source: Queenvarieties
This is your second reminder that this user is a shameless turkey stan who believes in the ultimate supremacy of turkey. Grilled, peppered, fried, boiled, it’s the one meat that goes with all swallow and all its varying servings.
My ranking: 1
1. Offal (Tripe, liver, kidney)
Also known as “inu eran”, there’s no 100% amala satisfaction without a generous serving of stewed offal. It’s the only way to enjoy the true amala experience, although I cannot say the same for other swallow offerings.
My ranking: 2
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival in November. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
Two Christmas celebrations ago, my IJGB friend (Dozie*) breezed into Lagos to spend one of his nights with me. Before then, he’d usually get excited whenever I shared pictures of suya or grilled turkey on my WhatsApp status, and every single time, our exchange would end with, “You must show me this life if I come Lagos o”.
Fast forward to the day we agreed to hang out, he got to the spot a few minutes earlier than I did (Lagos traffic na wa) and I told him to order before I got there. Tell me why I arrived to my IJGB friend battling creamy pasta and smoothie? *Criminally offensive bombastic side eye* If like Dozie you don’t know how to treat yourself at a Lagos nightlife spot, you should hold this list to your chest.
Goat meat pepper soup
Source: Sisi Jemimah
It’s unofficially the official Lagos nightlife meal, and honestly, I get it. Nothing beats the satisfaction of scooping broth with juicy meat pieces into your mouth and washing it with a long gulp of mortuary-cold beer.
Asun
Goat meat pepper soup is great but only when you don’t plan to down many bottles. That’s double work for your bladder and double trips to the restroom. But asun? The roasted goat meat sautéed in spicy habanero and red bell peppers comes in bite sizes that don’t fill you up too quickly. Be warned. You might find yourself ordering a dozen plates and spending more than you planned.
Pepper snails
Source: Low carbs Africa
This is probably the best way to enjoy snails. I don’t know what the secret recipe is at these night spots, but boy, do they get it right? The snails are big, juicy, spicy and soulfully flavoured. This might set you back several thousands sha.
Grilled turkey
Consider grilled turkey when you visit a nightlife spot with the potential LOYL or the IJGB friends you want to impress. They’re nice but expensive, with a piece selling for as high as ₦2500 – 3500.
Suya’s versatility makes it my favourite on this list. Whether you’re looking to spend ₦500 or need a money-smart way to cater to a large gathering, it always delivers. And that’s not even the best part. With suya, you don’t have to go to a restaurant or bar. Just strike a badass deal with a random mai-suya on the streets.
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Roasted bushmeat
Source: The Green Palace
Also known as eran igbe, you won’t find it at your regular nightlife spots, but best believe when you do, you’ll pay through your nose and it’ll be totally worth it. Eran igbe is premium meat known for its distinct taste, aroma and nutritional value. It’s mostly available in villages, and that’s why the best pairing for it is palm wine.
Roasted Grasscutter
This is another premium meat that’s hard or expensive to come by in the big cities. While you can also enjoy this with any drink of your choice, palm wine is where the true magic is.
Sign up here to be notified when ticket sales begin.
I recently struck a bet with my friend, Ori Ejo, who was visiting Lagos for a couple of days from Osogbo. He went on and on about how we’re suffering in Lagos, paying the most for the most basic things. I couldn’t let that slander go.
Yes, I know Laygurss is expensive, but it’s not so bad that you can’t ball on a ₦5k budget.
So I told Ori Ejo I’d go on a ₦5k meat tour, and it’d be far better than what ₦5k will get him in Osogbo.
A little back story about Ori Ejo. He’s the friend in this article who crushed seasoning cubes on chunks of snake meat. Ori Ejo, which means “snake head” in Yoruba, became my nickname for him after I discovered his love for snake meat.
Now, what do you get for ₦5k on the streets of Lagos? First off, erase any idea of private cabs for this mini adventure. But it’s not like okadas and keke maruwas are cheap these days, no thanks to the fuel subsidy removal.
My take-off point was the popular Olosha market in Mushin because there was no way I’d miss out on linking up with my meat plug. He has the best ponmo deals that fit right into my ₦5k budget. I got a decent cut for ₦800 and was left with a balance of ₦4000 — after paying ₦200 for t-fare.
Next was this barbecue spot around Shitta Underbridge in Surulere. I used to eye this spot a lot because there was always a long queue of people trying to buy from them, and that meant they had to be doing something right. Tell me why I got there and these guys wanted to charge ₦3000 for barbecued chicken and chips. I mean, it’s a fair price, but I expected a cheaper deal for a street spot. ₦3k would’ve done serious damage to my budget, so it was a no-no.
But you see, the beauty of Layguyrss is you’ll always find something. What did I find in this instance? Grilled chicken franks. I didn’t even know this was a thing, but it looked so good, I had to try it. It was just ₦300 for a stick. I bought two.
I knew this my waka wouldn’t be complete without suya and turkey, but I also knew it’d be hard to get both on a ₦3k budget. This is where connection comes in. Sorry to break it to you, but you cannot go far in Lagos without connections. It doesn’t even have to be people in government. You also need to know people in the streets to amp up your street cred.
To cut the long story short, I hopped on a bus to Aguda, where my brother had a turkey grill spot. I mean, I wasn’t even supposed to pay but I had an agenda that needed to agend. I sweet-talked my brother into selling a piece of turkey wing for ₦1500. The going rate would have been ₦2k.
I was running out of cash and knew it was time to head back home. But not without suya. I had a plug, Bello, just outside the LUTH gate in Idi-Araba, and he was the perfect person to wrap up this waka. My ₦1500 got me a stick of chicken suya at ₦500, beef suya at ₦400 and ₦200 masa.
I gagged Ori Ejo when I returned home, but it wasn’t because his point about Lagos being expensive was wrong. I was just street-smart.
Now, who wants to give me ₦100k to properly eat all the meat I want at the Burning Ram meat festival in Laygurrrsss?
Sign up here to be notified when ticket sales begin.
I visited a friend once and almost had a panic attack when I saw him crush seasoning cubes over large chunks of snake meat. He’d killed it earlier and decided to make himself a pot of soup — a norm in his family.
Of course, I couldn’t bring myself to eat it because of my granny’s stern warning: “We don’t eat snake in this family.” Granny never explained why, but many have their own unspoken meat consumption taboos. I got some people to share theirs with me today.
“I’ve never had chicken anus” — Goke*
Growing up, my granny lived with us and did a lot of the cooking because my mum had to go to work. Whenever she sent us to buy a full chicken, she was always like, “Tell them to take out the anus when they’re cutting it.” I always followed her orders even though I didn’t know why. I didn’t really care. Then one time, my cousin went to buy the chicken because I wasn’t around, but he forgot to tell the seller to take out the anus. Granny made a fuss, so I had to ask what would happen if we ate the chicken’s anus. That was when she said it turns you into a gossip, and you’ll keep talking about people even when you’re not asked. I found that ridiculous, but now, it’s a part of my ritual, to never eat a chicken’s anus.
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“It’s forbidden to consume pork meat as a Muslim” — Qudus*
In all my 27 years on earth, I’ve never eaten pork meat. I come from a strong Muslim background, and my dad doesn’t joke with matters of the deen. I’ve not done any personal research, but from sermons I’ve heard at the mosque, pork is gotten from pigs, and that makes it haram (forbidden) for Muslims. Pig is considered an unclean animal because it consumes dead animals, and sometimes faeces. Consuming an animal like that will make you spiritually impure. I’ve heard there are exceptions for extreme starvation or when forced to consume it, but I’ve never been in any of those situations.
“My grandmother doesn’t eat ram meat” — Boboye*
During Christmas, one of my uncles bought a ram for the celebrations. That was when my grandmother mentioned that she couldn’t consume it. I know it has something to do with her lineage. Some old people have idol-worshipping backgrounds — na civilisation turn them to Christians. She always warns us about “ewo idile”, a set of taboos peculiar to different families. Her children are free to consume what they like sha. I just think it’s a personal belief she held on to despite her conversion to Christianity.
We’re throwing the biggest meat festival in Lagos. Grab your tickets to Burning Ram here.
“I don’t eat the meat of any animal I killed” — Emmanuel*
I’d rather eat frozen chicken than eat a chicken I killed or watched people kill; the blood and butchering throw me off-guard. I won’t even eat from the soup or stew made with the meat. After watching the animal struggle until they die? Yeah… I’m not eating that. It’s difficult to process seeing them alive in one moment and dead in the pot in the next. I also can’t eat certain parts of an animal. I once bought frozen chicken and saw some part of the head was still on it; I asked that they cut it off.
“My husband doesn’t eat duck meat” — Adeola*
I once tried to recreate a duck curry recipe I saw on Instagram, and it didn’t go well. I got home that evening, and my husband, who loves snooping around when I return with groceries, saw the pack of duck meat I got from Shoprite. He flared up, but I wasn’t having it because in all our years together, he’d never mentioned anything about not consuming duck. I asked why, and he explained that it was a ground rule in his family growing up in Benin. Apparently, witches shapeshift into ducks. I made the recipe and ate it alone.
“It’s a tradition not to consume crab meat in my house”— Toba*
I’ve never been able to eat crab meat since I was a child. If there’s crab in any of my meals, best believe I’ll throw up all day. Maybe I have some kind of allergy. It’s the same with crayfish and prawns, but I can still manage those ones on rare occasions. Now, my wife knows not to buy crab when she’s making soup. Even my kids know that daddy doesn’t like crab, so I imagine them growing up and coming up with their own stories of why they can’t eat crab. Lol.
“My grandma forbids donkey meat for us”— Paul*
I don’t think there’s any type of meat I can’t consume. I love trying out different meals. However, my grandma has warned us several times against eating donkey meat. According to her, it’s used to carry corpse and is known for heavy suffering. Anyway, I’ve not seen donkey meat to eat anywhere, so I’ve never been in a position where I had to contemplate eating it or not.
We’re throwing the biggest meat festival in Lagos. Grab your tickets to Burning Ram here.
Today, I bring you a Zikoko festival in the works since 2019: Burning Ram.
Burning Ram is a meat festival bringing you and other food enthusiasts, creators and curators together to celebrate the Nigerian culture of meat and grill. We’re inviting you to enjoy the best suya, kilishi, asun, burgers, and interesting takes on common Nigerian meat snacks on September 30, 2023.
Why is Zikoko doing this?
The short answer: for your enjoyment.
You must enjoy
The better answer: A conversation around the lack of African cuisine representation in global conversations is brewing, and Burning Ram is our response. We’re elevating the world’s perception of food, one African dish at a time, by bringing together 3000 people to experience a world of expert grilling, spicing and meat.
Burning Ram is not just an event about meat; our goal is to become pioneers of innovation, conversation and new experiences around African cuisine, starting with meat in Nigeria. Changing perceptions and appreciating a culture’s cuisine is a gradual process, and it starts with one plate, one dish, and one experience at a time.
This is a big goal, and yes, we need your help to make it happen.
Why should you attend Burning Ram?
If you love having a good time with your friends and family. If you love meat — from suya to kilishi that tastes like a rainy evening in Abuja. If you’re not afraid of trying new things, like akara burgers, then you should only be at Burning Ram on Saturday, September 30.
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What to expect at Burning Ram
We promise you a spectacle. The festival will feature various activities including firebreather performances, eating contests, cooking competitions, tutorials, and music. Food lovers will have an opportunity to try out different types of meat in one place.
Fans of Zikoko VRSUS will also enjoy the Suya VRSUS Wars, which will feature a culinary chef versus a mallam. A suya-making tutorial class is another activity that participants can look forward to at the festival.
We’re also running a raffle draw where one lucky attendee will win an actual ram. Yes, you read right. An actual live ram won to be prepared by experts and sent to the winner.
Be the first to get more details about these activities and find out when ticket sales begin by signing up here.
Interested in becoming a sponsor?
Burning Ram is bringing together over 3000 food enthusiasts, chefs, families, students, professionals, tourists and more. To share a part of this vision, kindly reach out to us here.
How do you become a vendor?
You want to showcase your take on meat and everything that can be paired with it at Burning Ram, then register as a vendor, and we’ll be in touch in a couple of weeks.
Burning Ram promises to be an exciting festival for food lovers and meat enthusiasts. Come hungry.
