love | Page 48 of 51 | Zikoko!

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love | Page 48 of 51 | Zikoko!

The Stress Of Having A Crush On Your Co-Worker

1. Whenever you see them coming, your heart is like:

2. When they say hello, what you hear is:

I love you too baby.
3. When you see them and think you’re acting natural, what you’re doing is:

“This is how I behave all the time.”
4. When HR sends another memo “strongly discouraging” relationships between co-workers.

Please who asked you oh?
5. When they offer you a ride home, you’re like:

Yes, you can also come inside the house and live with me if you so desire.
6. When there is an office bonding programme and you end up on the same team as your crush.

Time for love!
7. When they bring their wedding invite to the office and give you.

Please which day did this one have a partner oh?
8. You at their wedding while everyone is dancing and having a good time

I don’t get why everyone is happy!
9. When they try to continue like they haven’t just broken your heart

Go and joke with your spouse thank you!
10. When you are now over them, you say goodbye to the one sided love like:

Bye bye to kalo kalo!

Jola Ayeye

September 14, 2016

Oldies

co-worker, love, Office, romance
The Quick And Easy Nigerian Girls Guide To Letting A Boy Know You Like Him

1. Call him “big head”. It’s a nationally accepted term of endearment!

when a Nigerian girl calls you BIG HEAD….
The ultimate term of endearment.
— director x (@maniofficial_ng) May 20, 2016

You see! No need for the name his parents gave him.
2. When he comes to talk to you, your face should be like:

As if you’ve smelt something bad and he is the cause.
3. If he asks you out, say no.

If he is serious he will come back again.
4. When someone suggests you just say it plainly, you’re like:

So that he will now be proud?
5. When he cracks a joke, you’re like:

Especially if you find it funny!
6. How you indicate interest:

Normal girl: Do you have a girlfriend?

Nigerian girl: This one you are texting me. Hope someone will not pour acid on my face?
— Bamz 🤺 (@NomskyN) August 11, 2016

Very important!

Jola Ayeye

September 13, 2016

Oldies

love, relationships
All The Things That Happen When Your Crush Doesn’t Like You Back.

1. When you say hello with all the love in your heart and they reply normally.

Ahn ahn!
2. When you try to flirt and they are just looking.

Mr man you better participate!
3. When they refer to you as a “great friend”.

Not only friend.
4. When they now graduate from calling you their friend to saying you are like their brother/sister.

Please I know the number of children my mother had and you are not among oh!
5. When they come and start asking you for relationship advice.

Take your problems to God because me I am ready to scatter the relationship.
6. When they say “whoever you end up with will be very lucky”.

It better be you oh!
7. When you meet their boyfriend or girlfriend you’re like:

“Nice to meet you too.”
8. When they finally seem to be responding to your advances.

Success at last!
9. Then you find out it’s because they were fighting with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Kuku kill me oh!
10. When you are now over them and they start liking you, you’re like:

You better leave here!

Jola Ayeye

September 7, 2016

Oldies

crush, Funny, love, relationships
How You Know You Are Ready To Break Up With Your Boyfriend

1. When you see your boyfriend and your stomach starts paining you.

Ah!
2. When he tries to kiss you, you’re like:

Please move your mouth from here.
3. When you’ve forgotten you have a boyfriend and people ask you how he is.

Must you ruin my joy?
4. When he starts talking about a future involving you.

Uncle since which day?
5. When you’re with the man you love and your boyfriend starts calling to find out where you are.

Just imagine!
6. When the only way you can have a good time is if he is not at the function.

Before he will come and use his own to spoil your own.
7. When he asks to meet your parents, you’re like:

Please no need to get them involved.
8. When he tries any public displays of affection and you start dodging.

Uncle please don’t let anyone know we are together!
9. When his friends say hello to you, you’re like:

Please leave here jere!
10. Whenever he says he loves you:

Oh God!

Jola Ayeye

August 31, 2016

Oldies

breakup, love, romance
When A Lagos Boy Is Toasting You

1. How he approaches you:

Full of swagger and confidence!
2. When he sees you in public, he’s like:

“Baby girl how far?”
3. When you say you’re not interested, he’s like:

“That’s what they all say at first.”
4. When you say you have a boyfriend, he’s like:

“And so what?”
5. When he tells you he has never met a girl like you.

Lie lie!
6. How he plans all the messages he sends to you:

Which one will be the most effective?
7. How he is around other girls:

His eye cannot stay in one place!
8. His preferred look when he is coming to confuse you:

White trad gang!
9. When he reaches his final form.

Now you are really in trouble!
10. When he is trying to convince you he loves you.

After 2 whole weeks abi?
11. When you start responding positively to his advances and he starts behaving like you are disturbing him.

Is this one okay at all?
12. When you find out most of his lifestyle is packaging.

Hayyyyyyy see something!
13. When you meet his girlfriend and realise you were being interviewed for side chick work.

Wow! Is this life?

Jola Ayeye

August 17, 2016

Oldies

Funny, Lagos Boy, love, Nigeria, relationships, romance
When Your Mother Doesn’t Like Your Girlfriend

1. When your mother sees her for the first time.

“Who is this one?’
2. How your mother replies when your girlfriend greets her:

“Ehn oh!”
3. When your mother starts complaining that your girlfriend did not greet her well.

When she was almost rolling on the floor did you answer her?
4. When your mother starts talking about she does not want to have scallywag grandchildren.

Okay then have them by yourself!
5. When you eat in your girlfriend’s house and get home to see that your mother has cooked.

That means someone is in trouble oh!
6. When your mother knows you have plans with your girlfriend and starts looking for things for you to do.

Why are you doing this ma?
7. When your mother tells you she wants you to meet her daughter’s friend.

No ma. No thank you.
8. When you and your girlfriend are having a disagreement, your mother is like:

Fight very well sef!
9. When she starts claiming she saw your girlfriend in a dream and it was not good.

Mummy Josephina the dreamer!
10. When your girlfriend and mother start pressuring you to “choose”.

You people will not kill someone.
11. When your mother or girlfriend are praying against enemies and you know they are referring to each other.

Very what? Very good!
12. When you want to just dump both of them but you can’t because the love is too strong.

Why me oh Lord?
13. When one day the both of them agree on something.

Look at God in action!
14. But then what they agree on is something you’ve done wrong.

Win some, lose some!

Jola Ayeye

August 16, 2016

Oldies

Family, Funny, girlfriend, love, Parents
All The Wahala Of Your Mother Not Liking Your Boyfriend

1. When she meets him for the first time and you ask her what she thinks of him, she’s like:

“He’s okay sha but to me he is somehow.”
2. Whenever he comes to the house and greets her, she’s like:

Ahn ahn!I thought you said you would be nice mummy!
3. When she is still trying to “introduce” you to a son of her friend.

I said I have a boyfriend ma!
4. When you say you love him, she’s like:

“You love WHOOOO?”
5. How you have to beg him every time he comes to visit and your mum descends on him:

“Honey she was just joking!”
6. When you tell her you are going out with him and then she suddenly has “urgent errands” for you to help her run.

What is all this one now?
7. When she starts subbing your relationship during morning devotion.

Is that what we are here for?
8. When you have problems at work and she find a way to connect it to your relationship.

Is that what we are talking about now?
9. When you have problems in your relationship, she’s like:

“My God is working!”
10. When you ask her why she is so convinced you must break up with your boyfriend.

So how come God did not tell me?
11. Whenever he sees her in public, he’s like:

Before she will use style to abuse him in front of other people.
12. When he breaks up with you because your mothers wahala is too much, she’s like:

“I told you that boy was a useless boy.”

Jola Ayeye

August 9, 2016

Oldies

boyfriend, love, mother, Parents, Relationship
13 Pictures Only Proper Fans Of Mr Eazi Will Understand

1. You, the moment you hear “ZAGADAT”:

My body is ready.
2. When a Nigerian musician says “it’s your boy…” but it’s not Mr Eazi.

Will you leave this place.
3. You, playing a Mr Eazi song for the first time:

It’s already a jam.
4. You, whenever they start playing ‘Hollup’ on the radio:

No other option.
5. How you sing when ‘Skin Tight’ comes on:

The best.
6. You, trying to find a Mr. Eazi song you don’t like:

Nope. Doesn’t exist.
7. When you’ve been at a party for 5 minutes and the DJ has not played Mr Eazi yet.

This one is not a serious person.
8. When someone asks you what your favourite Mr Eazi song is.

Chai! See JAMB question.
9. How you feel when someone you introduced to his music starts jamming it:

Wondafuu.
10. When someone tries to tell you that all his songs sound the same.

Save it.
11. You, praying for Mr Eazi to blow even more:

Baba God, do it for your boy.
12. How you treat people when they discover his music:

WELCOME!
13. You, waiting for Mr Eazi to drop his album already:

Drop it for us oh!
For those of you who have never heard of him, well, you’re welcome:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djfEaX2tA7M

Daniel Orubo

August 8, 2016

Oldies

ghana, hollup, love, Mr Eazi, music, Nigeria, skin tight
How To Be A Romantic Nigerian Woman 101

1. How you say hello in the morning:

Because how good is the morning if he is hungry?
2. If he gets a new job:

So the job will balance very well!
3. If he loses his job:

Before you cry too much, at least eat.
4. On Valentine’s day:

There is love in food.
5. On his birthday:

Birthday boys deserve food!
6. On your anniversary:

Let’s celebrate our love with a meal!
7. If he loses a loved one, this is how you show you care:

Mourn your loved one with a full stomach.
8. When he says he is broke:

Because a truly broke person cannot afford to eat!
9. When you are broke:

Be romantic and bring something out sir!
10. How you say “I love you”:

Yes indeed!

Jola Ayeye

August 5, 2016

Oldies

Food, love, Men, Nigeria, romance, Women
My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

My parents are quite strict, so when I got to University I decided to really enjoy myself!

Time to let loose!
Going out late.

Fun times.
Eating what I liked when I liked.

Sweet food!
One day, one fine 300 level guy I had become friendly with asked me out.

Fine boy!
Me, on the outside:

Cool. Calm. Collected.
Me, on the inside:

OMG! OMG! OMG!
The day of the date I was so excited.

So excited!
I wore my favourite dress, highest shoes and looked like a bad ass.

Really feeling myself!
Everything was going great; the conversation, the ambience.

This is excellent!
After a while the waiter started walking towards us with our food.

Finally!
Out of nowhere, this man tripped!

HAYYYY!!
And I was covered in a shower of rice and stew, plantain and chapman.

I was wearing what I was supposed to eat.
My date had a blank stare on his face for about 3 seconds.

“What just happened?”
Then he started laughing!

Oh my God!
I was so embarrassed! And I think 2 grains of rice were stuck in my false eyelashes

Let the floor swallow me please. Its better!
I almost started crying but I had to hold it all in.

As per form big girl.
I didn’t even get a kiss goodbye from my date!

So I will stain his outfit with stew abi? No way oh!
Me whenever my friends suggest we go back to that restaurant:

So my shame can be complete abi? Useless people

Jola Ayeye

July 27, 2016

General

Accident, Date, Food, Funny, love, romance, Story