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I think by now we all know Nigerian men are mostly quite crafty, especially when it comes to relationships and women.
You’d think it would be just the single men, but the married men are outchea wilding as well.
It’s like they truly believe these are the last days of seven women to one man, even though there are more men in the world now.
The greedy men don’t care about their single brothers. No o. They just want to chop dey go and kobalize somebody’s daughter.
Shey, it would even be easier to spot who is who, but these married men have now decided to be removing their rings.
After many shattered hearts and dreams, Nigerian women have had to master their ways. Sholo stupid ni.
We’ve figured out a way to help you single ladies recognize when a married man is moving to you, even when he’s not wearing his wedding ring.
The jig is up.
When you go his house and you notice that it’s suspiciously bare, my dear flee, that man is married.
No personal effects, no pictures lying around. House looking like someone took their time to make sure that nothing could be traced. Hmm…
If he has been married long enough whether he puts on his ring or not, you’ll notice a patch of lighter skin around his ring finger.
Make sure you look out for it, he can hide his ring but he can’t hide his marriage.
Sometimes he might even just move the wedding ring to another finger and claim it’s just a random ring.
Don’t be deceived, that’s his wedding ring.
You’ll notice that he’s slightly balding, slightly pot-bellied and looks suspiciously close to your father’s age but he’ll still try to convince you that he’s not married.
My dear don’t listen to him, pick up your bag and run away. That daddy is a married man with four children and one of them might even be your age.
You’ll also notice that he really doesn’t like coming out in the daytime.
Na so so night waka in hidden places. He doesn’t want his wife’s family and friends to catch you people together.
When you ask him if he’s married and he’s too quick to say no, my dear that man has already taken someone else to the altar.
Before you even say ‘mar…’, he’ll have said: “Me ke, never o, I’m still searching for the right woman, maybe it’s you”.
You’ll notice signs of a female presence in his house that’s always conveniently a sister or a cousin but you’ll never meet said sister or cousin.
His wife is in the overseas for summer and he’s only using you as summer bae.
For some reason he has refused to invite you over to his house.
You’ve also noticed that he can only leave his house at certain times. Anything past 9 and he starts panicking about how he has to go home as if he has a curfew.
Finally, the easiest thing to do is look him up on the internet.
Even if he has covered his tracks, his wife and children haven’t. You are bound to find someone’s facebook page.
My sisters, if you have any other tips for us, please share o! Before we go and enter one chance. Tweet us @zikokomag!
Breakups can be painful, messy or even easy. But nothing is funnier than when a breakup is petty. We asked eight people what the pettiest reason they ever initiated a breakup up was and their answers left us in stitches.
“He didn’t used to tamba after using the toilet, and he refused to do it even when I told him about it, abeg I couldn’t deal” – Funke
“Every single time I sat down to play FIFA she’d interrupt me. I mean every single time. She clearly didn’t like me” – David
“She had a hugeeee head. I had never seen that kind of head in my life before. Like it was fine until I started thinking of marriage, I couldn’t allow my kids have that kind of head” – Steve
“She said Ghanian Jollof was better than Nigerian Jollof. I was already on my way out of the relationship but that was the breaking point” – Lanre
“He looked almost exactly like one wicked teacher that tormented me in secondary school. I tried to ignore it at first but the relationship ended after 3 months” – Morayo
“He ate too much. That one on its own wasn’t even a problem but everytime I was eating he’ll start begging for my food. Like he’ll finish his own and still beg for my own again. The thing used to frustrate me.” – Ope
“I didn’t like his sister. She was my senior in secondary school and she used to punish me all the time. The day I found out, we broke up shortly after, I didn’t want anything to do with any family that can have that kind of wicked person(the sister).” – Faith
“When we met he was team beard gang, on our third date he came to pick me up with a clean shave it was like I was looking at another person, I stopped picking his calls after that date.” – Anjola
Hi guys, I’d like for us to take a minute to talk about Wizkid and Tiwa Savage. Shall we?
Yes I know, we’re all here for this
There has been a lot of controversy about these two, mainly because most people aren’t sure whether or not they’re dating.
Worry no more my friends, for I’m here to reveal the truth.
Before we proceed, let’s quickly go back to the their first collaboration. Notice how Wizkid seemed to know his limits?
Okay aunty, I should just sit beside you here ?
Now, fast forward to their next song (Ma lo). We see very clearly that Starboy has become limitless . He was steady making his fellow Yoruba demon’s proud.
Yess, That’s our boy!
Shortly after, they start travelling together, performing together, and giving each other everlasting hugs.
Small small oh.
Everyday, they surprise us with their public displays of love and affection. Actually, every minute.
Please continue oh, we are not tired.
Now as you can see, this clearly isn’t enough proof that they’re dating. Right?
Just relax, I’m getting to it.
I want you to pay close attention to this video. What do you see? It’s your favourite celebrities. What are they doing? kissing. Yes, kissing.
If you still don’t believe, then you fall under one of the categories below.
The people who will continue to be in denial because Wizkid is their designated husband.
I pity you, better go and look for soulmate.
There’s also the people who just think Tiwa is too old for Wizkid and it’s impossible.
“When she’s not a sugar mummy”
Anyway, whatever you choose to believe it is very clear that Wizkid and Tiwa Savage are living their best lives.
And we’re behind them 100%
Before I finally go, I have one question. Wizkid and Tiwa Savage are kissing, Davido and Chioma are kissing, even Bobrisky and Tonto Dikeh are kissing. Who are you kissing?
One minute you are a baby girl living your life, the next minute everyone is asking you ‘when will you marry?’
When did this happen?
In fact once you hit a certain age everyone from your gateman to your boss at work is advising you to go to Shiloh
But what is your business?
It doesn’t matter who you are and what you’ve achieved. The only important question is ‘why are you single?’
“Oh you just won a Nobel Prize? Husband nko?”
Before you know it all of your friends start to get married even the ones you thought were single pringles like you
What a betrayed
It doesn’t help that their married status seems to come with infinite wisdom and they take it upon themselves to cure the disease that is your singleness.
You better face your marriage
Nowhere is safe. You go to church to worship your Lord God and Saviour, and some church aunty will ambush you about attending singles fellowship
Did I say I was single and searching?
When you even try to date the men act like they are doing you a favour. “You don’t know you are old abi, I’m just trying to epp your life”
You are 40 and living with your parents epp your own life first.
What of living alone as a single woman?
You are living alone? And you are single? You must be an asewo
Before you know it everyone is trying to hook you up, including your Aunty Yejide who has had 7 husbands
Please don’t disturb me
You’ve not even found bae but everyone keeps asking you “children nko”?
Will they fall from heaven?
And it’s not even like you had a problem being single you were perfectly fine but now you can help but wonder…
Maybe I should go to the Shiloh
At the end of the day it’s your life don’t let anyone disturb your peace of mind
Enjoy your life
So the next time someone should ask you when are you getting into a relationship, tell them…
One of the best and worst parts of social media is how it has changed relationships!
One moment you’re laughing at a similar joke, the next thing dm, the next thing love is in the air!
But because human beings are professionals at behaving somehow, the love can sometimes miss road.
And you wonder how you got yourself into this nonsense situation!
Because we love you, Zikoko made a video where people spoke about the ups and downs of finding love on social media.
If you can relate (which we are sure many of you can), tell us about your experiences in the comments section.
If you really enjoyed this and would like to share your thoughts and ideas in one of our videos, sign up here!
