Light | Zikoko!

We’re not sure who the national grid is in love with, but it has fallen again. Now that you have to go about your daily activities without relying on electricity, we thought we might show you a few options to consider…

Use the sun and moon as light sources

Image by Freepik

God didn’t give you the sun during the day and the moon at night for no reason. Remember when your parents said they read with the glow of moonlight in their younger days? It’s time to test that theory. Don’t wait for Nepa when the moon is out there wasting.

Read with fireflies

You call them “tanatana”, I call them the future of illumination. Let’s do something: when you’re free, catch a thousand fireflies and hang them up on your ceiling and voila! Now, you have free light 24/7. If that isn’t peak creativity, I don’t know what is.

Try Ironing with Solar Energy

Everything happens for a reason, including the crazy heat in Nigeria. Don’t let the sun shine in vain. Instead of waiting for NEPA, get a stove iron, your laundry and ironing just got easier. This solution is more economical than industrial irons that add millions to your electricity bill. Additionally, your clothes will come out smooth without any burns.

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Conduct lightning to charge your devices

Image by Freepik

You might not be Thor Odinson, but hey, I believe in you. If lightning obeys a movie character, how much more you? When the next thunderstorm happens, go outside with your metal rod and Dunlop slippers, ready to produce your electricity.

No laundry machines? Throw your clothes away!

We were born naked, and we will die naked. It doesn’t matter if you start early. If you switch to leaves, you won’t have to worry about laundry or ironing. Leaves are clean, sustainable and very affordable. Plus, you don’t have to buy them too.

Sleep outdoors more

So, no light to power your fan? The solution is to switch to natural breeze. Mosquitoes and other bugs will likely suck you dry, but the pain will be worth it when a cool breeze touches your soul.

Buy a messenger bird

Don’t waste money on airtime or data for a phone you’ll be unable to charge. The fun part is the person you’re calling will also not be reachable because their phone is dead. However, you can’t go wrong with a bird. An eagle, hawk or turkey works. As long as it has wings, it can deliver your messages for you. But, if someone catches your bird and throws it inside their soup, I’m not there o.

For more survival tips, here’s how to survive in Nigeria without cash or a functioning bank app.

Raymond Temituro

April 18, 2024

Citizen

electricity, Funny, Light, Nigerians, Survival tips
There is currently power failure in a lot of states in the country. So, we’re here to tell you when next you’ll have light.

Take the quiz to find out:

Prisca

March 14, 2022

Green White Quiz, Quizzes

Light
1. Being born into the PHCN struggle:

God, why not the abroad na?

2. Your generator’s best friend:

Except when there is fuel scarcity sha.

3. When you are about to put on your gen for the night and they bring light.

See what God can do.

4. You, checking that house everyone uses to know if they have brought light.

Their own gen is never on.

5. When they bring light and none of your neighbours come to tell you.

Is it like that you used to do?

6. When NEPA shows its true colours.

I knew it was too good to be true

7. You, sitting in the dark and waiting for them to bring the light back:

I’m sha not risking it again.

8. When they bring light and nobody in your house wants to go and change over.

It’s not me sha

9. You, when your generator dies in the middle of the night.

Who is doing me from the village?

10. When your generator dies but your neighbour’s own is still on.

It will now be sounding louder than normal.

11. When you put on the small gen but you forgot to turn off the AC.

The struggle.

12. How you look at your generator when the rope cuts:

Hay God!

13. When you realize your phone wasn’t charging and it’s time to put off the gen.

Kuku kill me.

Daniel Orubo

June 6, 2020

Inside Life

gen, generator, Light, NEPA, Nigeria, phcn
Weird things happen to UNILAG students. Last night, they were thrown into despair when the school was plunged into a blackout that lasted for close to an hour, leaving them to the mercy of mosquitoes and the sweltering heat. Of course, the students were triggered, so they took to the streets of Twitter.

Find some of the tweets from the event here.

Mosquitoes > Heat

https://twitter.com/Pog_llins/status/1231733009314959360

Naira Marley must be protected at all costs

They have taken Unilag to the dark ages, no light! The annoying thing is these Marlians have already started bringing out their Speakers. I can’t sleep 😩 #UnilagBlackOut
— DREYLO (@RealDreylo) February 24, 2020

The courses UNILAG students had no idea they signed up for

https://twitter.com/thesemilore/status/1231728947215380481

The bloody ghetto

I can hear some boys saying “has anyone seen my phone” 💔😂 #unilagBlackout https://t.co/PhSYEqCOFN
— Degen Dave 📉📈 (@ajhaykings) February 24, 2020

Oh well

Unilag now uses prepaid metre.. Card finished at the middle of the night 😂😂#UnilagBlackOut pic.twitter.com/UQTYYbrlE3
— Mayor of Africa 💸 (@mayortheplug) February 23, 2020

Last last, we are all pencils in the hands of the creator

https://twitter.com/semako_pr/status/1231735306552070144

This person wasn’t amused

Halden prison in Norway Vs Unilag hostel.
The Nation's pride indeed#UniversityChallenge #UnilagBlackOut pic.twitter.com/vKwt8G7loE
— Egedson (@Egedson_) February 24, 2020

But hey, looks like some people had fun

https://twitter.com/bigddammy/status/1231737811541385218

Even after normalcy returned, this local man cannot can.

https://twitter.com/thesemilore/status/1231739362469195776

Toheeb Lanlehin

February 24, 2020

Aluta and Chill

Light, Unilag, unilag student
1. When PHCN thinks people will refer to them as PHCN even though still exhibit NEPA behaviour.

2. When there is no light to pump water, so you have to start fetching water in your area.

3. When you have to charge all your electronic gadgets in the office because the only light in your house is from torchlights.

4. When your fridge has turned to a cupboard because there is never light.

5. When you have to sleep without light and your room is like a sauna.

6. And now the mosquitoes are using your body as a buffet.

7. When you are still paying for cable but there is never light to watch it.

8. When you find out how much diesel is now and your wallet starts shedding tears.

9. When you can finally afford petrol/diesel for your generator and then the rope cuts.

10. And PHCN still has the guts to bring ridiculous bills for you to pay.

Jola Ayeye

January 27, 2017

Oldies

Funny, Light, list, NEPA, phcn, power
1. When you dream NEPA brought light:

Dreams money can buy!
2. When you realise it’s not a dream and there is actually light:

HAYYYYYYY!
3. How you rush to charge all your electrical devices:

My phone oh!
4. You quickly pump water and fill all the drums and buckets in the house with water.

So at least somebody can bath and do one or two things!
5. You sharply microwave what you want to eat!

Ehen!
6. Then you consider the merits of cooking now you can use blender and microwave.

Shall I? Shall I not?
7. Then you remember that if you cook and PHCN takes light all the food will spoil.

Hian!
8. You quickly turn on the air conditioner so the house will be cool.

Like a freezer !
9. Then you wash your clothes:

Na wa oh how did these dirty clothes become so many? Are they breeding?
10. Then you iron all your clothes that are rough!

Work! Work! Work!
11. Now you’ve finished your work and balanced to watch TV…

Finally someone can enjoy life!
12. … NEPA collects the light they borrowed you!

AHN AHN! Is it good?

Jola Ayeye

August 4, 2016

Oldies

chores, Funny, Light, NEPA, Nigeria, phcn, work
1. When there’s light and you’re under your duvet getting ready to sleep.

Sleep finna be lit!
2. And your room feels chill because your fan and AC are on at the same time.

As per Captain cold.
3. But as usual being a Nigerian, you can’t have good things.

Hay God!
4. When just you’re about to doze off…

What is happening?!
5. …And NEPA takes light.

WHAT?!
6. When you try to continue sleeping but it’s not happening anymore.

*tears*
7. But you can hear the mosquitoes getting in formation.

God of mercy!
8. And you can feel the AC cold slowly seeping away.

Please come back…
9. When the legion of flying cockroaches are released.

Lord, I commit myself to you.
10. When you hear a sound in the dark but you’re the only one at home.

Blood of Jesus!
11. When you finally sleep drowning in your own sweat.

Water is good.
12. The next morning when someone asks “How was your night?”

Stressing…

Odunayo

June 14, 2016

Oldies

Light, phcn, Sleep
Nigeria is very hot! And what makes it more unbearable is that there’s no light to even power air conditioners or electric fans. On top of that, there’s no fuel to power generators even though some people have been making false promises. A Twitter user, @Zebbook, shared 11 hilarious responses Nigerians should expect from Nigerian politicians concerning the heat in Nigeria:

https://t.co/t5p7SyiK5i
— Bukola Ogunyemi (@zebbook) April 27, 2016

Journalist: “What are your thoughts on this heat Nigerians are complaining about, and what is the government doing about it?”

2. Lai Mohammed: “This is the result of PDP’s misrule, they stole the ozone layer”.

3. Femi Adesina: “Mr President promised us change, and that includes change in temperature. Change is here, embrace change”.

4. Akinwumi Ambode: “We have signed a $10 million deal with LG to install air conditioning across the Lagos skyline”.

5. Ibe Kachikwu: “I assure you that this heat will disappear by 2pm on 29th May”.

6. Bukola Saraki: “Tinubu wanted the heat to be more than this, but I opposed him out of my love for Nigeria and that’s why they are witch hunting me”.

7. Goodluck Jonathan: “The heat was not this bad when I left power, but Nigerians did not appreciate me”.

8. Adams Oshiomhole: “Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala stole the N100 billion meant for temperature control research”.

9. Nasir El-Rufai: “We’re in talks with General Electric to see how they can generate power from this heat”.

10. Rauf Aregbesola: “I just approved payment of January salary so Osun workers can buy hand fans”.

11. Aliko Dangote: “Next week, we are commissioning the Dangote fan factory. By 2030, Australia will be buying fans from us”.

12. Ben Bruce: *Tweets* “When Naira is weak and inflation is high automatically there will be heat. This is common sense”.

Maryam

April 29, 2016

Gist, Oldies

Fuel, heat, Light, Nigeria, nigerian politicians, Nigerians
We know some of you don’t have light sha, but no need to be shy. Take this quiz to find out if you should be getting some or not.

Maryam

April 15, 2016

In Your Feels, Quizzes, Ships

Light, NEPA, phcn, Quiz, Sex
How many weeks has it been since we had fuel and light simultaneously? Or you know, even one after the other. But you know, we are Nigerians, so we have to survive.
1. Always remember that this period is not the time to be moving up and down.

If it’s not urgent, you’re not going.
2. Instead of driving your own car or paying for bus, mount a truck.

You won’t spend money or fuel. Imagine the breeze though!
3. Before you visit anyone, ask them if they have fuel. If they do, will their generator be on?

Let’s not waste each other’s time.
4. Banish the spirit of shame that will not let you charge your phone at the meeting you’re attending.

We are all going through the same things.
5. When you plug your phone, go ahead and plug everything else that needs charging.

Yes. Even your rechargeable fan.
6. When you go to a bank with free sockets, plan to spend at least two hours there.

You need the full battery, and they have AC. This is your home now.
7. To extend your stay at the bank, allow people that enter after you to cut the line in front of you.

They think they’re doing you, but you know better.
8. To make your stay at the bank look legit, withdraw N1000.

It’s still money.
9. Sit in the bank, watch Buhari on CNN and get upset all over again.

This N1000 must be worth it.
10. The next day, go back to the bank to deposit the N1000 and repeat 5, 6, 7 and 8.

They won’t suspect.
11. Carry a water bottle around, you cannot tell when you will encounter a cold water dispenser.

Prepare for the best.
12. When you go to a reastaurant, sit near the sockets.

Take your time to select a seat, they’ll think you’re tush.
13. Then eat as slowly as possible so you can enjoy the AC and charge your devices.

You sha paid.

Odunayo

April 8, 2016

Oldies

electricity, Fuel, Light, Nigeria
1. When you’re in the middle of ironing for the next day and the light goes off.

Well, there goes my responsible look.
2. When your football team is just about to score and they take the light.

The god of football will punish you.
3. When you’ve not had light for three days and NEPA flashes the light for 3 seconds.

OH MY GOD!
4. When they cut your light but you’ve paid your bills.

Wait, what is happening?!
5. Then you complain and they ask you to pay to fix it.

Are these ones not foolish like this?
6. When your house has an electric fault and you’re the only one who doesn’t have light.

It hurts so bad.
7. When your phone is at 10% and they bring the light…then they take it.

You horrible people!
8. When you’re cooking with electricity and the light goes off.

Soggy plantain is still plantain.
9. When your prepaid units run out in the middle of the night.

Welcome to sweat station.
10. When NEPA brings light that’s too high and it blows all your gadgets.

NEPA, y u no get sense?
11. Or it’s too low and you can’t even see anything.

Well, small victories.
12. When it’s bill period and you suddenly start having light.

This isn’t life.
13. Then the bill comes, and the light you’ve had and the amount on the bill don’t add up.

Please, don’t be stupid.
14. When they keep bringing and taking the light and you have to keep putting your gen on and off.

Make a decision.
15. When they bring light at every other time EXCEPT when you really need it.

Why am I not surprised?
16. When you leave the AC on the highest forever because you don’t know when they will take the light.

THIS IS SPARTA!

Odunayo

November 24, 2015

Oldies

Light, NEPA, Nigeria, Nigerians

Use the sun and moon as light sources

Read with fireflies

Try Ironing with Solar Energy

Conduct lightning to charge your devices

No laundry machines? Throw your clothes away!

Sleep outdoors more

Buy a messenger bird

1. Being born into the PHCN struggle:

2. Your generator’s best friend:

3. When you are about to put on your gen for the night and they bring light.

4. You, checking that house everyone uses to know if they have brought light.

5. When they bring light and none of your neighbours come to tell you.

6. When NEPA shows its true colours.

7. You, sitting in the dark and waiting for them to bring the light back:

8. When they bring light and nobody in your house wants to go and change over.

9. You, when your generator dies in the middle of the night.

10. When your generator dies but your neighbour’s own is still on.

11. When you put on the small gen but you forgot to turn off the AC.

12. How you look at your generator when the rope cuts:

13. When you realize your phone wasn’t charging and it’s time to put off the gen.

Mosquitoes > Heat

Naira Marley must be protected at all costs

The courses UNILAG students had no idea they signed up for

The bloody ghetto

Oh well

Last last, we are all pencils in the hands of the creator

This person wasn’t amused

But hey, looks like some people had fun

Even after normalcy returned, this local man cannot can.

1. When PHCN thinks people will refer to them as PHCN even though still exhibit NEPA behaviour.

2. When there is no light to pump water, so you have to start fetching water in your area.

3. When you have to charge all your electronic gadgets in the office because the only light in your house is from torchlights.

4. When your fridge has turned to a cupboard because there is never light.

5. When you have to sleep without light and your room is like a sauna.

6. And now the mosquitoes are using your body as a buffet.

7. When you are still paying for cable but there is never light to watch it.

8. When you find out how much diesel is now and your wallet starts shedding tears.

9. When you can finally afford petrol/diesel for your generator and then the rope cuts.

10. And PHCN still has the guts to bring ridiculous bills for you to pay.

1. When you dream NEPA brought light:

2. When you realise it’s not a dream and there is actually light:

3. How you rush to charge all your electrical devices:

4. You quickly pump water and fill all the drums and buckets in the house with water.

5. You sharply microwave what you want to eat!

6. Then you consider the merits of cooking now you can use blender and microwave.

7. Then you remember that if you cook and PHCN takes light all the food will spoil.

8. You quickly turn on the air conditioner so the house will be cool.

9. Then you wash your clothes:

10. Then you iron all your clothes that are rough!

11. Now you’ve finished your work and balanced to watch TV…

12. … NEPA collects the light they borrowed you!

1. When there’s light and you’re under your duvet getting ready to sleep.

2. And your room feels chill because your fan and AC are on at the same time.

3. But as usual being a Nigerian, you can’t have good things.

4. When just you’re about to doze off…

5. …And NEPA takes light.

6. When you try to continue sleeping but it’s not happening anymore.

7. But you can hear the mosquitoes getting in formation.

8. And you can feel the AC cold slowly seeping away.

9. When the legion of flying cockroaches are released.

10. When you hear a sound in the dark but you’re the only one at home.

11. When you finally sleep drowning in your own sweat.

12. The next morning when someone asks “How was your night?”

Journalist: “What are your thoughts on this heat Nigerians are complaining about, and what is the government doing about it?”

2. Lai Mohammed: “This is the result of PDP’s misrule, they stole the ozone layer”.

3. Femi Adesina: “Mr President promised us change, and that includes change in temperature. Change is here, embrace change”.

4. Akinwumi Ambode: “We have signed a $10 million deal with LG to install air conditioning across the Lagos skyline”.

5. Ibe Kachikwu: “I assure you that this heat will disappear by 2pm on 29th May”.

6. Bukola Saraki: “Tinubu wanted the heat to be more than this, but I opposed him out of my love for Nigeria and that’s why they are witch hunting me”.

7. Goodluck Jonathan: “The heat was not this bad when I left power, but Nigerians did not appreciate me”.

8. Adams Oshiomhole: “Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala stole the N100 billion meant for temperature control research”.

9. Nasir El-Rufai: “We’re in talks with General Electric to see how they can generate power from this heat”.

10. Rauf Aregbesola: “I just approved payment of January salary so Osun workers can buy hand fans”.

11. Aliko Dangote: “Next week, we are commissioning the Dangote fan factory. By 2030, Australia will be buying fans from us”.

12. Ben Bruce: *Tweets* “When Naira is weak and inflation is high automatically there will be heat. This is common sense”.

1. Always remember that this period is not the time to be moving up and down.

2. Instead of driving your own car or paying for bus, mount a truck.

3. Before you visit anyone, ask them if they have fuel. If they do, will their generator be on?

4. Banish the spirit of shame that will not let you charge your phone at the meeting you’re attending.

5. When you plug your phone, go ahead and plug everything else that needs charging.

12. Ben Bruce: Tweets “When Naira is weak and inflation is high automatically there will be heat. This is common sense”.