Ladies | Zikoko!

This one is for the sweet babes who love — and amazingly don’t mind — getting braids and living their best protective style lives.

So, whether you prefer knotless braids or the multiple other braid styles available in the black girl universe, read what your favourite type says about you below.

Box braids

You’re either a Gen Xer cosplaying as a younger person, or you don’t exactly like change. Everything in this life would stay the same if it were up to you, and $1 would still exchange for ₦65.

Knotless braids

You consider yourself hip and fun, and you’ll do anything to make sure others know it, too — even if it involves spending the minimum wage on one braiding session. Seriously, where you dey see this money?

Cornrow braids

You don’t like stress, and you’re definitely not about that sitting-in-the-salon for six hours life. You laugh at the face of those that claim that beauty is pain. For here?

RELATED: The Hair Struggles Naturalistas Can Relate To

Braided ponytails AKA “shuku”

You’re very bold because that’s the only reason you wake up in the morning and decide you want to rock shuku. Did all the years of forced shuku hairstyles in secondary school do nothing to you? Don’t you need a break?

Micro braids

No one can convince us that your middle name isn’t Patience. Why else would you decide to stay put for five market days just to get braids? You seem like the type of person who’ll stop at nothing to slay, and we can’t even judge.

Senegalese twists

You’ve been here a while but you’re still a young babe at heart. Fashion trends don’t easily influence you, and you just stick to what you love.

Double Dutch Braids

You just get your hair braided so you can rest from combing and styling your hair. We feel you, sis. It’s not easy.

Ghana Weaving

If you’re really honest with yourself, you’d admit that you take advantage of salon time to get out of the house. You enjoy having “me” time and you’ll do anything to get it — even if it involves sitting through seven hours of pain and torture.

Kinky Braids

You’re in the same group chat with the Senegalese twists babe, you do you at all times. You’re probably a champion for zero plastic use and sustainable environmental practices.

Mohawk Braids

You’re a bad bitch, and anyone who talks anyhow is very likely to collect wotowoto. Rumour has it that you’re a closet softie, but who dares come close enough to find out?

NEXT READ: Things They Don’t Tell You about Locking Your Hair

Tife Oni

June 28, 2022

Her

beauty, Braids, hair, Ladies
1. Today is International Women’s Day, and we are very excited!

2. We know many people are going to celebrate important female figures from past and current history and we love that!

3. But today we want to let all the regular ladies know that they deserve celebration too!

4. First of all, we slay hard at school, getting that education and conquering all those textbooks.

5. And we slay hard at work, breaking stereotypes and doing our part (and more) for the growing global economy.

6. Did we mention the millions of women that push out babies every day like it’s nothing.

7. Then go on to be primary caregivers, nurturing young minds and bodies to do and be better than them.

8. There’s also our amazing homemakers, who provide trillions of dollars worth of services for free! Often ignored and derided in society.

9. Not to talk of the women out there combining work, school and motherhood!

10. There are women breaking cultural moulds and doing it quietly, today is for you!

11. Choosing to be more than just an appendage to a man, forging their own path even when nobody approves.

12. And to the women out there that feel under appreciated, worn out, tired and defeated on many days, today is for you!

13. Happy International Women’s Day

Jola Ayeye

March 8, 2017

Oldies

Celebration, celebrities, Fabulous, Friendship, Girls, Hard work, international women’s day, Ladies, love, Recognition, regular girls, School, slay, Women, work
1. Do you people know the kind of work that goes into wearing a tight gele that is lowkey trying to kill you?

2. You people think it’s easy to be booking make-up artist every weekend? Netter be thanking girls for the employment they provide every weekend

3. As if that expense isn’t enough, you’ll now have to buy fuel, or worse, pay cab to get to the event

4. Then one yeye waiter will now come and say small chops has finished

5. Or when you decide to do over-sabi and wear waist-trainer, you’ll just be looking at all the jollof you can’t eat with regret

6. Or when they sent your heels against you, and it wants to trip you as soon as you finally lock eyes with the Yoruba demon you’ve been targeting

7. Somebody will now say you won’t collect souvenir after all the work you’ve put in for the party

Boyin Plumptre

February 18, 2017

Oldies

Ladies, Owambe, slay
1. Ladies, let’s be honest; a lot of us are single and searching.

2. Even though some of you like to pretend you’re in a relationship; but are you really your bae’s bae?

3. But it appears Nigerian girls are taking this search-for-bae game to another level!

4. Babes are now hooking up and getting married to rich and fine Uber drivers.

5. They say some Uber drivers are actually very rich, and just do the job because they’re bored.

6. First of all, we have to stop ordering normal Ubers; Uber Black is the way forward, so gather your savings.

7. And we can’t even order the Uber to places like clubs- it has to be church, mosque, weddings, schools and other responsible-looking places like that.

8. In fact, when the Uber arrives, you have to chook your pride in your pocket and sit in front so you can form conversation face to face.

9. Remember to check the driver’s hand for a ring; in short, if he has a ring, just cancel the stupid trip!

10. Let your home training shine brightly during the trip, so they know you’re wife material, 100 yards.

11. And when they try to prove stubborn by not asking for your number after the trip, make sure you run to give them.

12. By the time you order the 10th Uber, you would have met Prince Charming for sure!

13. And you can tell your village people to die, because their plans have failed!

Just visit Naija Single Girl for more advice. They are experts in this field.

Shola

December 8, 2016

Oldies

Funny, Ladies, marriage, Uber, uber drivers, uber nigeria, Wedding
1. When you are trying to find a bra that actually fits

And if/when you actually find one, it’s probably the price of a house in Lekki.

2. When you try to put on your bra when there’s no light

This is the biggest struggle ever

3. When you have to run unexpectedly

God why?

4. When your shirts just refuse to button up

Gap city.

5. Then they finally button up, but the button just pops…or worse

Safety pin time.

6. When you just can’t wear a push-up bra in peace

No one wants death by boobs

7. When you try wear a tent-style blouse and just end up looking like a house

Not fair.

8. Whenever you tell anyone that you’re thinking of getting a breast reduction, people act like you’re thinking about cutting your arm off

Is it your own?

9. When you lie on your back and it feels like your boobs are trying to choke you

Why me..?

10. When you realize everyone you meet is probably staring at your boobs

Jeez! Stop staring.

11. When you try to wear a strapless bra, and you start thinking about your life…

…because it keeps slipping off.

12. Everybody wants to hug you

Please no.

13. When you wear a seatbelt or a messenger bag and it divides your chest into two clean halves

Fix this lord!

14. When food falls down your cleavage, and you don’t bother to try to get it out because you know you won’t find it

Ugh why?!! It’s gone now.

15. When your mom asks, “Which bra are you wearing today?”

And you start to wonder if your boobs are sagging?

But ultimately you love yourself and your boobs, because you’re winning!

Odunayo

March 25, 2016

Oldies

Big boobs, Boobs, Ladies, Nigerian
1. Your parents keep asking about your prospects.

I can’t tell the future, sir.

2. Or worrying if you’d still be able to have kids.

Will my ovaries just dry up?

3. Or insisting you’re getting too old.

…even though you’re like thirty!

4. Your aunties trying to set you up with their friends’ doctor son.

But I don’t know him now!

5. All your friends think they can solve your singleness.

Thanks, but no thanks.

6. Twitter says you’re “too opinionated”, so you won’t find a Nigerian man to marry you.

Your brain. Where is it?

7. “Don’t get a PhD degree, men don’t like over-smart women”.

You don’t say!

8. Guys with nothing to offer approaching because they think you’ll be desperate enough to accept.

God, See my life!

9. People asking why you broke up with your last boyfriend.

I was self sabotaging. Okay?

10. People asking what you feel if your younger sister gets married before you.

More power to her!>

11. Then they say “You’re so nice, I wonder why you’re still single”.

Err..because I am!

12. Your parents asking you to stop looking for love and just marry someone.

And you’re here thinking “Am I that sad?”=

13. You’re always the third, fifth and seventh wheel.

Come along, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

14. And the designated photographer of your happy couple friends.

Stop. Smiling. I can’t else they’d say I’m bitter.

15. No one understands that you just want to be single right now.

I mean, it’s a choice…

16. Everyone keeps saying, “You’ll soon find someone”.

Yeah, sure.

17. Or that you have to love yourself before someone can love you.

Go on, please!

18. You’re secretly excited when your friends break up.

Oh I’m so sorry you guys broke up..LOL!

19. Or when their spouses don’t show up for events.

“Who needs them anyway? We’ll still have fun without them.”

20. Catching up with old friends always means awkwardly answering the “So, are you seeing anyone?” question.

No. But I still have me.

21. You’re a master at having crushes

But a relationship novice.

22. People tiptoe around you when relationships topics come up.

Jeez! I won’t break down in tears.

23. If there’s an event you want to go to, you have to decide if you want to go badly enough that it’s worth going alone because of all the questions above.

But it really isn’t. “I immediately regret this decision” – You say to yourself, after you go.

24. Especially weddings.

No.>

25. Or Valentine’s day.

NO!

26. You blush every time Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” comes on.

Too close to home.

27. Even you start to wonder if you’re going to be forever alone.

Cats?

28. But then you realize that you’re loving the single life.

Because let’s face it, relationships aren’t that great.

Odunayo

March 18, 2016

Oldies

Ladies, Nigerian, Single, Single ladies
Psst! Guys and gentlemen over here. A guy just showed you how to get that lady’s phone number! And it’s quite simple actually.
This is Topo Ngidi, a lovely lady from Botswana.

A guy tried to get her number, you know, the way guys like to do.

And she said no.

What’s the guy to do?

Certainly something creative, just like this guy.

https://twitter.com/MissNgidi/status/708396935217074177

How many of you can do this?

He even does something more impressive. At least for her.

https://twitter.com/MissNgidi/status/708397864255397890

Of course, the people of Twitter had things to say.

He must be a player.

https://twitter.com/ThatDeborahGirl/status/709269400256430080

It was an opportunity for her to make some easy cash.

@MissNgidi & you haven’t sold it? That’s easy cash. You biting or nah? pic.twitter.com/TouSGBxbHH
— ¥eezus (@Yaya_Onfire) March 12, 2016
Or is a potential stalker.

https://twitter.com/TheVixenPixie/status/708675898531299328

Some were morbid.

@MissNgidi *plot twist* what if he reports it as stolen
— gOrgeOusTK (@Just_Thikheyi) March 12, 2016
According to one, he wants her goodies.

@MissNgidi I know a lady who almost got raped by a phone donor. If u don’t plan 2 have sex with him, post his phone back ASAP & avoid him.
— Olusola Adio (@solaadio) March 12, 2016
His creativity was admired.

@MissNgidi now that’s how to get a girl to wait for your call, love that
— snapchat : temmitats (@_Temilorun) March 12, 2016
He could be Nigerian.

@missngidi i’m sure he is nigerian.
— 4eyez (@jerrytaen) March 12, 2016
Or he could be the potential bae.

@MissNgidi Please, take his call. He might be the one.
— Adé táyọ̀ (@Tayo_Mr) March 12, 2016
So she was advised to pick up.

@MissNgidi all these hungry people saying sell it. Smh.
He is a smart man & a go-getter. Go on one date. It may be worth your while. — ° (@Evie__Frye) March 12, 2016
Some offered what they had.

https://twitter.com/BurnaboyPh/status/708590055191871488

Some beileved that she was lying.

@MissNgidi pic.twitter.com/iECcrYTApq
— BAFFOUR_ (@BygBadTyga) March 13, 2016
But even if she was or it actually happened, goals have been set.
[zkk_poll post=23376 poll=content_block_standard_format_20]

chioma

March 14, 2016

Gist

get schooled, Ladies, phone number, pick up, pick up lines, Single ladies
1. When you wear pushup bras to give your boobs a little boost, but your boobs just simply disagree.

These boobs are testing me, oh lord!
2. When people speak about cleavage and you’re just confused. What is that please?

Explain to me, please.
3. Then you have to push your boobs together to see what actual cleavage looks like.

Nope…nothing.
4. When you get caught staring at another girl’s boobs.

Someone cannot envy again?
5. When you form putting your phone in your bra and it falls out.

Nope. Not the best place.
6. When someone tells you, ” You know you don’t really have to wear a bra”.

Are you the keeper of my breasts?
7. But sometimes, you actually just wonder where your boobs went.

Where are they now?
8. When you’re surrounded by girls with bigger boobs, and the low self esteem just sets in.

It isn’t fair.
9. You fake extra boobs sometimes. And that’s fine.

Don’t judge me please.
10. When you wear a dress without a bra and no one notices.

May god not ignore your efforts.
11. Everyone got boobs in SS1, but you were patient. But now you’re 22 and you’re STILL waiting.

When are they really coming?!
12. When you try on your A cups and they still fit perfectly.

Not even a bit.
13. When you realise that when guys talk about liking girls with “smaller boobs,” they really mean C cups.

I’m not crying.
14. When people say “Don’t worry, when you get pregnant they’ll get bigger for a while.”

Why you lying?!
15. Then you secretly wonder if your breasts are even big enough to feed your future children.

Is that weird?
16. When larger-chested ladies tell you you’re “soooo lucky” you don’t have to deal with back pain.

Will you shut the hell up!
17. But then you remember that there’s no sagging in your future. Winning!

Still fabulous.

Odunayo

November 10, 2015

Oldies

Girls, Ladies, Small Boobs

Box braids

Knotless braids

Cornrow braids

Braided ponytails AKA “shuku”

Micro braids

Senegalese twists

Double Dutch Braids

Ghana Weaving

Kinky Braids

Mohawk Braids

1. Today is International Women’s Day, and we are very excited!

2. We know many people are going to celebrate important female figures from past and current history and we love that!

3. But today we want to let all the regular ladies know that they deserve celebration too!

4. First of all, we slay hard at school, getting that education and conquering all those textbooks.

5. And we slay hard at work, breaking stereotypes and doing our part (and more) for the growing global economy.

6. Did we mention the millions of women that push out babies every day like it’s nothing.

7. Then go on to be primary caregivers, nurturing young minds and bodies to do and be better than them.

8. There’s also our amazing homemakers, who provide trillions of dollars worth of services for free! Often ignored and derided in society.

9. Not to talk of the women out there combining work, school and motherhood!

10. There are women breaking cultural moulds and doing it quietly, today is for you!

11. Choosing to be more than just an appendage to a man, forging their own path even when nobody approves.

12. And to the women out there that feel under appreciated, worn out, tired and defeated on many days, today is for you!

13. Happy International Women’s Day

1. Do you people know the kind of work that goes into wearing a tight gele that is lowkey trying to kill you?

2. You people think it’s easy to be booking make-up artist every weekend? Netter be thanking girls for the employment they provide every weekend

3. As if that expense isn’t enough, you’ll now have to buy fuel, or worse, pay cab to get to the event

4. Then one yeye waiter will now come and say small chops has finished

5. Or when you decide to do over-sabi and wear waist-trainer, you’ll just be looking at all the jollof you can’t eat with regret

6. Or when they sent your heels against you, and it wants to trip you as soon as you finally lock eyes with the Yoruba demon you’ve been targeting

7. Somebody will now say you won’t collect souvenir after all the work you’ve put in for the party

1. Ladies, let’s be honest; a lot of us are single and searching.

2. Even though some of you like to pretend you’re in a relationship; but are you really your bae’s bae?

3. But it appears Nigerian girls are taking this search-for-bae game to another level!

4. Babes are now hooking up and getting married to rich and fine Uber drivers.

5. They say some Uber drivers are actually very rich, and just do the job because they’re bored.

6. First of all, we have to stop ordering normal Ubers; Uber Black is the way forward, so gather your savings.

7. And we can’t even order the Uber to places like clubs- it has to be church, mosque, weddings, schools and other responsible-looking places like that.

8. In fact, when the Uber arrives, you have to chook your pride in your pocket and sit in front so you can form conversation face to face.

9. Remember to check the driver’s hand for a ring; in short, if he has a ring, just cancel the stupid trip!

10. Let your home training shine brightly during the trip, so they know you’re wife material, 100 yards.

11. And when they try to prove stubborn by not asking for your number after the trip, make sure you run to give them.

12. By the time you order the 10th Uber, you would have met Prince Charming for sure!

13. And you can tell your village people to die, because their plans have failed!

1. When you are trying to find a bra that actually fits

2. When you try to put on your bra when there’s no light

3. When you have to run unexpectedly

4. When your shirts just refuse to button up

5. Then they finally button up, but the button just pops…or worse

6. When you just can’t wear a push-up bra in peace

7. When you try wear a tent-style blouse and just end up looking like a house

8. Whenever you tell anyone that you’re thinking of getting a breast reduction, people act like you’re thinking about cutting your arm off

9. When you lie on your back and it feels like your boobs are trying to choke you

10. When you realize everyone you meet is probably staring at your boobs

11. When you try to wear a strapless bra, and you start thinking about your life…

12. Everybody wants to hug you

13. When you wear a seatbelt or a messenger bag and it divides your chest into two clean halves

14. When food falls down your cleavage, and you don’t bother to try to get it out because you know you won’t find it

15. When your mom asks, “Which bra are you wearing today?”

1. Your parents keep asking about your prospects.

2. Or worrying if you’d still be able to have kids.

3. Or insisting you’re getting too old.

4. Your aunties trying to set you up with their friends’ doctor son.

5. All your friends think they can solve your singleness.

6. Twitter says you’re “too opinionated”, so you won’t find a Nigerian man to marry you.

7. “Don’t get a PhD degree, men don’t like over-smart women”.

8. Guys with nothing to offer approaching because they think you’ll be desperate enough to accept.

9. People asking why you broke up with your last boyfriend.

10. People asking what you feel if your younger sister gets married before you.

11. Then they say “You’re so nice, I wonder why you’re still single”.

12. Your parents asking you to stop looking for love and just marry someone.

13. You’re always the third, fifth and seventh wheel.

14. And the designated photographer of your happy couple friends.

15. No one understands that you just want to be single right now.

16. Everyone keeps saying, “You’ll soon find someone”.

17. Or that you have to love yourself before someone can love you.

18. You’re secretly excited when your friends break up.

19. Or when their spouses don’t show up for events.

20. Catching up with old friends always means awkwardly answering the “So, are you seeing anyone?” question.

21. You’re a master at having crushes

22. People tiptoe around you when relationships topics come up.