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Like it or not, japa has become part and parcel of the Nigerian reality. In most families, at least one person has left the country to start afresh (in saner climes).
But starting afresh for the japa-ee also often means loneliness, a feeling that’s emphasised during festive periods. I asked 6 Nigerian Muslims living abroad what celebrating Eid-Al-Fitr was like in a strange land without family.
Image designed by Freepik
Rofiat*, 26, Canada
I’ve only been here for about four months, and getting into Ramadan this year was difficult. I always missed Sahur, and Iftar required serious calculation to be sure I was breaking my fast at the right time because the sun here has a mind of its own. I never had to worry about this back home because it was a family thing; we all looked out for each other. I couldn’t really celebrate Eid because I didn’t think I did my best during Ramadan, and I felt guilty. Plus, there’s no public holiday here, so I just had a cup of ramen noodles after classes and cried myself to sleep.
Banji*, 30, UK
For the first time this year, I spent Eid with my mum’s former student’s family. It was great; there was food, and I got to play with her kids.
When I first arrived in the UK in 2022, I spent Eid alone, and it was so depressing. My mum suggested I connect with her ex-student, and I thought it’d be weird. Like, how do I just appear at your door to eat rice? But when loneliness wanted to finish me again in 2023, no one told me before I found myself at her house.
Hamid, 29, Canada
Eid always reminds me that I’m all alone in a no-mans-land. Back home, every Eid was a big deal. We’d kill rams — even for Eid-al-Fitr when it’s not compulsory — and everyone would gather at our olori-ebi’s house.
I’ve been in Canada for about a year, and there’s a stark difference. I spent this year’s Eid at work and returned home alone to my cold apartment. In all, we thank Allah.
Jola, 24, US
I spent Eid cooking up several pots of rice and soups. I had to store most of it in the freezer to eat for the rest of the month, but cooking that much helps me feel connected to my family. We always cook up a storm for holidays in Nigeria, so, in a way, I’m still holding on to family traditions.
Bolajoko, 29, UAE
Maybe it’s because I live in a Muslim country, but I hardly feel alone in Dubai even though I have no family here. I spent this year’s celebration with friends (some of whom relocated from Nigeria, too), and we ate together in someone’s house after Eid prayers.
Ranti, 23, Ireland
I celebrated Eid by dressing up just to sit down in my apartment. I took pictures, so I guess that’s better than nothing. It’s my first Eid alone, away from home. I hope to have connected with more Muslims around my area before Sallah later in the year, so it’s not so lonely.
*Some names have been changed for anonymity.
NEXT READ: Strictly Halal Activities That’ll Take Your Eid-Al-Fitr Celebration from Zero to 100
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Like many X users on Easter Monday, I woke up to the perpetual chaos that’s plagued the microblogging platform since Elon Musk took the reins. This time, a strange buzzword left me and millions of other users confused. The word? Stainless — a new coinage for “celibacy” common among Nigerian men who’ve relocated and find it hard to get laid. I was intrigued by the sheer number of people abroad who revealed that they now juggle between celibacy and self-pleasure.
I spent the next few days looking for subjects to share their experiences with forced celibacy. It was during my journo quest that I found Feranmi*.
As Told To Adeyinka
I relocated to Finland in mid-2023. It was a bittersweet move because, on the one hand, I was excited to finally escape Nigeria, but on the other hand, I was leaving everything I’d known in all my 27 years. This was scary for me. I remember my mum saying, “Will you kuku stay back?” Everyone who knows me knows I struggle to make friends or form new relationships, so a recurring question in my head was, “How will I survive?”
To make matters worse, my girlfriend said we should call it quits because she couldn’t do long distance. I tried to get her to visit for one last memorable time together before I travelled, but she didn’t come.
When I arrived in Finland, it was just like I feared. I stayed with my cousin, and in the first few weeks, he was on leave. He resumed work the second week, and that was when the loneliness kicked in. At first, I felt I could handle it because I could go days all alone at home in Nigeria. I was so wrong. There’s something different about the loneliness here. It’s that feeling of knowing you won’t get random visitors, spot someone you know or just have the assurance of familiar strangers in your street.
The biggest women-only festival in Lagos is BACK.
Get your tickets here for a day of fun, networking and partayyyyyI soon started to get mad horny, which was strange because I wasn’t even thinking of sex. I mean, I’d broken up, was in a new country… I’d accepted it would take a while to get laid. But I kept getting awkward erections. Since I couldn’t put the feelings off, the easiest thing to do was wank. And the thing is, I wasn’t much of a wanker in Nigeria. I had my girlfriend, and our sex life was good.
Here? I’ve beaten my meat to submission, and it doesn’t excite me anymore.
I haven’t even tried to put myself out there because where will I start? I don’t have a job yet, so I hardly meet anyone besides neighbours, shop attendants and passersby. Most of the folks around here speak Finnish and have a strong “Minding my business” aura.
The other day, I sent a DM to a Finnish lady on IG who I followed before I left Nigeria. She responded in Finnish. I had to translate on Google to respond, which made our chat stressful. We still text, but we’ve never made it past pleasantries and “Miten loydat suomen? (“How do you find Finland?”)
My cousin also doesn’t help matters. He’s about ten years older, and we have a good relationship but not one where we freely talk about girls or relationships. He’s married and still trying to bring his wife and child over from Nigeria, so I can’t be talking about my need for sex with him.
I’ve accepted my fate. But I recently joined this Nigerian Twitter community for people in Finland, and I’m hopeful. Although I’ve heard it’s not easy to date a Naija babe here if you’re still hustling, I know they must also have intimate needs. It just takes finding the right person and letting them know you’re in it for real.
These days, I don’t bother to wank because it’s gotten boring. But I never thought about it as going “Stainless” until I saw the Twitter convo. I guess that’s what it is. The last time I wanked was in January.
Read next: 8 Alternatives to Wanking That’ll Give You Your Orgasm As a Man
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You might think your love language is gifting the people you love, but what happens when they suddenly japa and you have to show love in other ways? Because while you may want to be intentional, the exchange rate, distance and logistics will collectively ask you:
To make it worse, it’s much easier for abroad people to send money and gifts back once they get there, making the guilt even worse. We spoke with seven Nigerians who have friends and family abroad, and they talked about the struggle to send them gifts on meaningful days.
Dora*, 21
My Canada-based brother regularly sends me money for school fees, and I hate that I can’t send him gifts to show my appreciation. He doesn’t expect anything from me, but I don’t want to be someone who just “takes” all the time.
For his last birthday, I thought of sending him foodstuff from here because he’d complained about how expensive things were in the African market over there. But when I calculated the cost of the items and shipping fee, it was running into ₦200k. I didn’t have that type of money, and I couldn’t bill him and then use the money to gift him. I had to settle with sending him prayers.
Tobore, 30
I love giving thoughtful gifts, and all my friends know. You can innocently tweet about needing something and find the item delivered to you weeks later. It’s why I’m really bummed I can’t do much for my friends who have relocated. Most of them are in the UK.
Between 2022 and 2023, I could still send £20 or £50 gift cards, or pay for birthday cakes. But I have to adjust with the current exchange rate. I mostly fund their naira accounts now, so they have something when they visit. But I feel like I’m not putting as much thought into gifting as I usually do. The exchange rate is killing my creativity.
Lizzy, 25
My best friend moved to the UK two years ago, and we don’t talk as often as we used to — a deliberate decision on my part.
Talking every day meant I kept sharing my many problems, then she’d send me random money. But I can’t send her money like she does. I can’t say I want to send ₦20k because that’s just £10. What will that buy? And it’s shameful to just be collecting.
ALSO READ: 7 Nigerian Millennials Share Hacks for Living Through Inflation
Joan*, 27
For two years in a row, I’ve celebrated my US-based bestie’s birthday by gathering all our families and friends for a surprise conference call. I don’t even know if the element of surprise is still there. I occasionally send her $10 through our other US-based friends with naira accounts, but I feel that’s too small for a birthday gift.
I tried to get a proper gift from a US store last year — again through a mutual friend — but I was hearing $300. Omo. Conference call had to come to the rescue. At least, she loves the calls.
Anita*, 24
I feel guilty that I can’t surprise my boyfriend on special occasions. One time, I tried to send him shoes, but he realised I was planning something when I asked for his address. He insisted I send him the money so he could buy it himself and cut out the shipping fee bit.
I make up for being unable to go all out by sending money to his naira account. I can’t wait for him to visit so I can properly spoil him.
Richard*, 28
I haven’t bought my friend a birthday gift in the two years since he relocated because it’s either virtual dollar cards don’t work when it’s time to buy things online, or the exchange rate means I can only buy the barest minimum for him.
Thankfully, he understands and just tells me to send prayers. I add a dash of words of affirmation here and there.
Ola, 24
I’ve resorted to asking my Dubai-based big sister to tell me the things I can do to show my appreciation because I can’t afford to do anything else. She has an online business, and I manage it for free. It works out for both of us.
*Some names have been changed for anonymity.
NEXT READ: Nigerians Share Their Funniest Visa Rejection Stories
We interviewed three couples five years after we first spoke with them in 2019. How have their relationships evolved over time? Watch the final episode here:
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Japa is more than just the Nigerian dream these days; it’s a necessity — making visa rejections all the more heartbreaking.
The Nigerians in this story understand this all too well. While they didn’t find it funny when their visa applications were rejected, they can look back and laugh about it now because the only other option is to cry.
Emma*, 29
I don’t know who advised me, but I was feeling lucky on the day of my first US visa interview in 2017, so I wore an “I love New York” shirt to the appointment. I wanted them to see I was already “embracing” life in the US. You need to see the speed with which the consular officer rejected me.
I tried again the following year, and even fasted for 21 days before the interview. They still rejected me. I’ve left their US for them.
Jola*, 33
I was a member of a popular apron-wearing church when I went for my Schengen visa interview in 2019. I wore the apron to the interview as an act of faith and even gave testimony in advance at church. The way the officer looked at me throughout the interview, I knew it was over long before the rejection finally came.
John*, 33
I applied for a US visa in 2018 and prepared for the interview like my life depended on it. I think I paid someone about ₦60k to coach me, and I travelled down to Lagos from Warri two days before the interview because I didn’t want my village people to use bus delays to spoil my plan.
The interview day came, and the consular officer asked if I was married. I said “No”. She immediately rejected me. I was shocked. I changed mouth and started claiming I had a girlfriend at home, and we were planning marriage, but aunty was already giving me the blue slip. That’s how I began to tearfully repeat, “Why would you do this to me?” as if she knew me from anywhere.
I swore for our politicians all through the journey home. What would I be looking for in America if the country was working?
RELATED: The 10 Stages Of Becoming A Nigerian Politician
Nadia*, 18
My mum got rejected while seeking US visas for the family in 2007.
We were all dressed in aso-oke and beads because my mum thought it’d mean that we were proud of our country and would come back. After they rejected us, she carried us to Mr. Biggs to eat our sorrows away. The interview was on a Tuesday morning. Imagine the weird looks we got when we pulled up to Mr Biggs dressed like we were going to an owambe.
Chisom*, 27
I don’t know who sent me to form accent during my UK visitor’s visa interview in 2021. I have a very thick Igbo accent and was trying to avoid a thing where the officer would ask me to repeat myself.
I’m not even sure which accent I was impersonating. I just wanted to sound clear. It didn’t work sha. The officer asked me, “Have you lived outside Nigeria before?” even though it was clear I hadn’t. I’m sure she must’ve been wondering where this one found accent. I don’t blame her for rejecting me sef. Who does that?
Favour*, 25
I dry fasted and prayed for three days and nights on this US visa matter. The appointment was for 6:45 a.m., coinciding with the day I was supposed to end the fast. I didn’t even sleep the previous night because I prayed all through.
Two minutes into my interview, the officer said I looked sick, and that he didn’t believe I’d return to Nigeria. To say I was shocked is an understatement.
Dami*, 28
I applied to India to study nursing in 2014. I can’t even remember the reason the interviewer gave for rejecting my visa application. I was just so angry. Like, common India? In anger, I told him, “Out of all the countries, do you think it’s India I’ll choose to migrate to?” The guy was shocked. He started saying something about reapplying, but I just carried myself away from there.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
NEXT READ: 7 Nigerian Millennials Share Hacks for Living Through Inflation
Psst! Have you seen our Valentine Special yet? We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
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As told to Toheeb.
On Valentine’s Day in 2014, I got the biggest surprise of my life.
My boss at the big pharma where I worked called me after a meeting and told me I had to move to Kenya.
I was like, “huh?”
A few months earlier, during my end-of-the-year performance review, my boss had said that my department was evolving. I had a future there, they assured me. However, my new role could be based abroad.
Although I got this heads-up, it never occurred to me, not even for a second, that I’d be relocating. I hadn’t considered leaving the country since I was 16 when I thought of going abroad for uni, a decision my parents vetoed.
“All my kids are going to get their first degree in Nigeria,” my father had said. By the time I finished my university degree, I had no intention of returning to school. Then, I got into the workforce almost immediately.
Growing up, I had an idea of the life and family I wanted, driven by the Nigerian Dream: Live in Nigeria, go abroad for holidays and come back. The critical thing is I always have to come back. I’ll admit this: it takes privilege to believe in the Nigerian dream. And I was protected. I was privileged.
So, imagine how I felt when my boss called me aside and said: “Irene, I’ve been unsuccessful in keeping your role in Nigeria. The higher-ups in the Global office say it has to be Kenya.”
My biggest dilemma was the potential complication: I was in a serious relationship. My boyfriend, unlike me, had always wanted to Japa. He had a green card and a good job. But I always told him, “Listen, we have an opportunity to start a life here before considering relocation. Why do you want to leave now?”
Naturally, he was one of the two people I called immediately. I told him I’d say no to Kenya if he was with me. We could stay here for a bit and build a family first.
Now, listen; according to my boss, the consequence of not moving would be that I would have a vague role within the company. They could either phase me out of the business or find another Nigerian-based role. But I was happy to stay back so we could start our lives together.
Do you want to hear what this guy said? He told me, “Don’t make any decisions based on me. Whatever you decide is fine.”
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
In my mind, the only interpretation of what I heard was, “You’re on your own. Do what’s best for you.” I was so mad the relationship ended that day. Years later, he told me he meant he’d be okay with whatever I decided.
My father was the other person I called that morning. He thought it was a fantastic career move, but it would be difficult if I wanted to settle down. In the following days, I convinced myself that moving could be good. To be fair, I’ve always moved in the direction of an opportunity. Between 2008 and 2014, I worked in Zamfara, Rivers and Enugu states and sold healthcare products in more than 20 states in Nigeria.
It was time to be on the move again.
On April 27, 2014, I landed in Nairobi with nine bags, for which I paid ₦148k in excess luggage fees. I started work the following morning.
When you move to a new country for work, two things are paramount: Settling in at work and finding your community. When a company is paying for your keep and your work permit in a foreign country, they expect you to work harder than others, and if you don’t meet that, it causes internal dissent. Professionally, my first few months in Kenya were intense and gruelling.
But you know, I had to also find time for social connections. I’ll tell you one thing about working as an expat abroad — people treat you as temporary. They interact with you like they know you’re leaving. It’s a lonely life, and [the quality of] your relationships are its biggest manifestation.
So, in my first few months in Kenya, all I did was pretty much google “Nigerians in Kenya” to figure out how to build my community. It led me to InterNations — an expat community. I reached out to the first person, then the second, and started expanding my network one person at a time.
Two years in, I had built a semblance of a community. There was Mo, my first friend at work. She was energetic and feisty and had a lot of good vibes. Her parents loved me, too, and her home became the place I spent my Christmas holidays. There were also the friends I hosted for dinners and house parties when I fully settled in.
RELATED: “It’s Nice to See My Friends Again, but I Miss My Family”
After two years, Kenya had started to feel like home, but it wasn’t home. The friends I made got me through a lot, but it still got lonely from time to time in the five years that followed.
Then, 2020 came with Covid. For the first time in years, there was a possibility of returning home for good. The country I left in 2014 had changed, though. Everyone I knew was desperate to get out.
I was undeterred by this for two reasons: I desperately wanted to see my family and loved ones after Covid. It didn’t help that it coincided with a tough year at work. The African business was less attractive to my organisation, so they were winding down operations in several locations. The possibility of another relocation elsewhere loomed, and I didn’t want to go through that again. At that point, I was starting to feel like I had reached a ceiling at work and wanted change or something close to it.
When people ask me why I came back, I tell them that Covid was tough and my parents were really ill. There was also an opportunity to cash out at work and return home. Both reasons were valid.
But did I intend to stay back? To be honest, I don’t know. When I moved back in March 2021, the Nigeria I returned to was difficult to recognise. For example, my parents were very comfortable when I left in 2014. In 2021, they weren’t as comfortable, and I was almost as good as the breadwinner. Also, people and businesses were leaving in droves.
So, why did I stay back? Short answer: Conviction. This is where it gets interesting.
When I sorted out business at home, nursed my parents back to health and decided to return to work, I got two offers in Kenya and another in Nigeria. The Kenya roles offered more money, but the Nigerian role drew me in. I believed so strongly in the problem they were trying to solve — a problem I’d been thinking about — that it’s hard to invest in healthcare because we don’t have the data. I loved the vision. There was no way I wouldn’t be a part of it. It was a pursuit of conviction and purpose. So, I stayed to help solve this problem.
Conviction is an exciting thing. I say this because the company eventually closed down, and when it did, I found another reason to stick around. First, the companies that made living and working in Nigeria, and by extension Africa, attractive were exiting the continent.
I work in healthcare, so let me put this in context: We saw people and businesses leave the country in the 80s and 90s. But those businesses that left paid heavily to come back. A time will come when big pharma companies will need to buy the small businesses that filled the void they left to return to Africa. It’s happened before — Neimeth Pharmaceuticals today resulted from Pfizer downsizing in the country in the 90s.
Because of that, I told myself that I’ll be here when those businesses return and, in that time, do the business that allows people to come back. The result of that is Infinity Health, a healthcare and life sciences business I started.
Infinity Health is leveraging technology to give healthcare businesses springing up now a route to the market by taking regulatory services and simplifying them for them in the way they can afford, making data available in small chunks they can afford. I intend that in five years, they will tell how someone paid billions of dollars because Infinity Health is the easiest way to access the African healthcare market.
That’s the conviction. That’s the reason I stayed.
It’s been almost three years since I made this decision, and let me not lie to you: It’s singularly the hardest thing I’ve done. I’ve paid very dearly for it, and I haven’t even won yet.
I’ve gone from being very comfortable, earning about $80k/year, to earning nothing. Last year, I didn’t make any personal income because I spent all that time building a business. But hey, I’m here already.
In that time, I’ve learned a few things, too. People want to stay in the country. It’s the country discouraging and demotivating young people. And I get it; people leave because they have nothing to aspire to. The fact that I’m still here and dreaming is because of my privilege. I’ll always acknowledge that.
I no longer speak with the same finality I spoke with in 2021. It’s getting harder to insulate myself from the challenges in this country, and by extension, I’ve lost some of the conviction and belief I had three years ago. In my head, I’m still here for the long haul. But do I also regret moving back sometimes? Absolutely.
But as long as I have my mum, dad and family, I’ll continue to find the strength to stay and do what I must. The last time I left the country, I came back to meet my sick parents. I can’t do that again.
In my heart, I know I might have to leave again if this business thing doesn’t work out. It’s now about self-preservation, not about clinging on to the remnant of the Nigerian dream. I don’t think that exists anymore.
That said, will there be winners when this dust settles? Yes, and I want to be one of them. That, my friend, is the reason I stayed back.
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We know it’s tempting, but just because your best friend has abandoned you in the clutches of Tinubu and his cohorts doesn’t mean you should abandon her on February 13th, the sacred Galentine’s Day.
It’s five days away, so you have enough time to get her the gifts on our list to show her that, besides the distance, nothing should even think about coming between you.
Your presence
Whether they believe it or not, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them, so find a way to appear at their doorstep and give them the surprise of a lifetime. If they don’t act surprised enough, then consider getting yourself a new best friend or shaking them till they receive some sense.
A playlist
Think of all the songs you loved dancing and crying to togethet, and put them all in a playlist. Hopefully, it will make her remember the love you shared in-person and cause her to return to Agbado Central for a month or two just to suffer with you a little.
A pet
Get them a cute little animal and name it after yourself. This way, they’ll feel like you’re always around them, keeping them company, even though you’re miles away.
A date
Everyone knows loneliness is what’s killing our people over there. So set them up with another of your friends in their city, and at the end of the night you get piping hot tea on all the things that went down on their date. It’s a win-win.
A rose
The type of rose you get them doesn’t really matter. Whether they’re smelling it or it’s giving them the orgasm of their life, we promise, they’ll appreciate it.
A plane, a helicopter or a witch’s broom
We’ve given you all these options, so you have no room for excuses. Get her one of the modes of transportation above, so you both can see each other any time you want.
We recommend the broom though. Are you truly best friends if you’ve never been referred to as witches?
Jewelry
By jewelry, we mean a friendship collar. That way, you’re not in another country hoping someone isn’t trying to steal her from you. Just get them a collar with your name boldly written on it, so everyone knows who she belongs to.
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On Monday, January 23, 2024, the IRCC — Canada’s department responsible for immigration matters — announced that the Canadian Government is setting a cap on the intake of international students, among other immigration law changes.
According to a statement from the department, the decision became necessary as “the integrity of the international student system has been threatened”. The influx of international students has put pressure on housing, healthcare and other services in the country.
Canada remains one of the top destinations for Nigerians looking to relocate in search of greener pastures. So if you’re a Nigerian considering Canada for your studies or relocation plan, here’s what you should know about the latest development.
No more spousal work permits for undergraduates
The IRCC will stop granting work permits to spouses of international undergraduate students. Spouses of international graduate school students or students taking a professional programme (medicine or law) remain eligible for open work permits.
A cap on study permits
The IRCC plans to approve approximately 360,000 study permits in 2024, a 35% decrease from 2023. This intake cap will last for a period of two years. 2025’s limit will be announced later this year.
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Provincial study permits based on population
The IRCC will apportion study permits to Canadian provinces based on their population. The provinces will be free to distribute the study permits across the available learning institutions authorised to admit international students. Henceforth, study permits submitted to the IRCC will require an attestation letter from the province or territory. A process for applying for an attestation letter will be announced before March 2024.
No postgraduate study permit for graduates of private career colleges
According to the IRCC, starting on September 1, 2024, international students who physically attend private career colleges that have been licensed to deliver the curriculum of a public college will no longer be eligible for a postgraduate work permit after graduation.
Want to know why many Nigerians are migrating? Read this: What Incidents Triggered Nigeria’s Japa Wave Since 2018?
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You’ve finally escaped your village people and arrived in Papa Charlie’s London, but nothing is giving as you imagined because cold wants to finish you.
Don’t worry, it’s just the winter. Prepare to relate to these things.
The cold hits once you step outside the airport
Your Yaba winter jacket was found shivering.
Bed cold as ice
Prepare to “microwave” everything before you sleep, so you don’t end up like Jack in Titanic.
The weather playing hide and seek
It’s the most difficult period to predict the weather. It could be sunny and warm today, and the next day looks like a scene from Winterfell.
4 p.m. looking like Naija 9 p.m.
But everyone else sees it as normal, so you have to pretend you don’t think the world is coming to an end.
Random love for tea
By fire or by force or by “this cold won kill me”.
Mood swings you don’t understand
Don’t worry, it’s not you. It’s the cold threatening to freeze your brain from inside out.
Outside is not calling your name
All the “I’ve arrived pictures” and “hang out” plans will have to wait because na who dey alive dey breathe.
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No more outdoor parties
This one will remind you of Nigerian parlour parties.
Dressing like Nollywood’s version of a mad person
Winter you do this one. But you’ll feel better when you see everyone else dress like you.
Skin like ashes
This one will make you remember Nigeria’s Harmattan.
Laundry takes days to dry
On top of this, you’ll have to deal with all the haunting flashbacks of your wash-and-wear days in Nigeria.
The heating costs
You’ll now have the sweetest memories of PHCN killing you with heat at no extra cost.
Winter festivals
Especially Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. Should you choose life or freezing enjoyment?
The days are shorter
The Nigerian in you will ask, “Ahn ahn. When did 5 p.m. knack?”
Flu is after your life
You’ll start reading the news to be sure it is the catarrh you know and not another variant of COVID. God, abeg.
You’ll have your fill of grilled, peppered or fried meat and many more at Zikoko’s meat festival on November 11. Have you bought your Burning Ram ticket? You can do that real quick here.
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Japa season is here again, with young and middle-aged Nigerians uprooting themselves from all they hold dear to start life afresh in the U.K. Some have had to pay through their noses for expensive master’s courses that, in all honesty, they don’t even need.
But do you know you can catch a flight to Papa Charles’ U.K. for free and still get coins for it? Here’s all you should know about a new japa pathway for those who love teaching.
What is it?
The U.K. government has announced the International Relocation Payment (IRP), a one-time payment of £10k to non-UK teachers of language-related subjects and physics. The payment covers visa fees, immigration health surcharge and other relocation expenses.
How does it work?
The scheme covers three categories of individuals: fee-paying trainees, salaried trainees and teachers.
Fee-paying trainees
This category caters to individuals who have secured a fee-paying place in a teacher training course in the U.K. The course must lead to a qualified teacher status for the 2323/2024 academic year. People in this category don’t need to apply for the IRP. The training provider will inform them if their chosen course qualifies for IRP and pay the IRP directly to their accounts.
Salaried trainees and teachers
This category of applicants have either started a teaching job in the U.K. or secured their place in a salaried teacher training course. These applicants can directly apply for the IRP from the Get Into Teaching website.
When to apply
Applications opened on September 4 and runs until October 31, 2023. After that, applications will reopen in January 2024.
When will the £10,000 be paid?
Eligible applicants will be credited by January 31, 2024.
What are the general criteria for applicants?
Teachers
To be eligible for the IRP, non-UK/international teachers must have secured employment in the U.K. from an English state secondary school. The teaching contract must be valid for at least one year from September 1, 2023, to August 31, 2024.
You must also be:
- a physics teacher
- a general or combined science teacher – you must teach the physics element of these subjects
- a language teacher – any language is eligible except English
Fee-paying and salaried trainees
Non-UK/international trainee teachers must’ve secured a place in a U.K. teacher training course from a trainer accredited by the U.K. government. Applicants must be training to teach the following subjects:
- Physics
- Any language(s) except English language. This includes courses combining language(s) with another subject, as long as language(s) make up at least 50% of the course content
- Any language(s), including courses combining language(s) with English language, as long as the non-English language(s) make up at least 50% of the course content.
What are the general visa types issued under the scheme?
- Skilled Worker visa
- Youth Mobility Scheme
- Family visa
- UK Ancestry visa
- British National (Overseas) visa
- High Potential Individual visa
For more information on application processes, check the official U.K. government website.
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Love comes, love goes. But just because your best friend has left the shores of Agbado Central doesn’t mean the love you share should cease to exist. You deserve to keep your best friend, and we know just how to go about it.
Threaten them
Remind them that you’re the best thing since amala or jollof rice or sliced bread and fried eggs. Remind them you’re the only best friend they have in this world — even if they have five others — and if they abandon you because of a little distance, they will sleep and wake up to find you on their new bed.
Spend a day with them
We’re not saying you should hop on a plane and jet off to their country for the day. Have you seen the price of flight tickets lately? We’re just saying get on a video call and be ready to spend the day with each other like you would if you were together.
Go spiritual
You’re the only one who knows what you and your bestie have seen and been through together. We suggest you climb a mountain and pray for seven days and seven nights. Word on the street is best friends are scarce and in high demand.
Beg their parents to beg them
If all else fails, go to the people who brought them to this world, and beg them to beg their offspring to remember their love for you.
Move into their parents’ house
Since they’ve decided to leave you best friend-less in this country, we suggest you pack a good chunk of your load and move into their parents’ house. Now, you’re one step closer to them.
Send them love notes every fortnight
You could send it via e-mail, WhatsApp or pigeon. All that matters is they know how much you love and miss them.
Spill the tea all the time
Share every little thing that happens to you, around you, to mutual friends and strangers with them. Doesn’t matter how little the tea might be. Spill it. -
It’s that time of the year when we all start to regret all the decisions that led us to still be in Nigeria.
If, like me, you need an escape from all the pressure that comes with this season, you should clutch these tips like the best thing after hot agege bread.
Mute UK, Canada and USA on X
There’s a higher chance of hearing about your friend or family member’s travel plans on Twitter than on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram or in person. But how will you even know if you’ve muted all the japa buzzwords? What you don’t know won’t kill you.
Join a political party
This is the best time to pitch your tent in the compound of the APC, PDP or any other political party in the country. But don’t stop at joining, preach the gospel of your membership and everyone around you will easily mark you as a patriotic Nigerian nurturing plans to run for office. Can you run for office from the abroad? Exactly. No one will be able to pressure you.
Take an interstate trip
It’s not the UK or America, but at least, you’re catching flights, right? It’s the thought that counts. A change of scenery and environment will make it easier to accept the thought that your bestie is now a thousand miles away. After all, you’ve also relocated a dozen miles away.
Plan a vacation
Some Nigerian parents have taken a chill pill with marriage talks and jumped on the japa train. To avoid the entire mix, just plan a small vacation around that period and make yourself unavailable. With ₦200-₦500k, you might even be able to take a trip to Ghana, Togo or the Benin Republic.
Launch a business
For every “Are you considering japa?” question that comes your way, you tell them you have a business to grow in Nigeria and would only consider travelling out for vacations.
Start the japa conversation
This will give you a sense of taking a step in the japa direction. Research about the country and processes, and every time your friends in the abroad ask when you’re joining them, load them up with information that shows you’re putting in the effort. It’s giving delulu, but it’s better than unhealthy pressure.
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Love is great, but love that can remove you from the shores of this country is better. Luckily for you, we have a couple foolproof steps that’ll get you international love.
Learn how to pronounce “expatriate”
How are you going to find an expatriate and be with them if you can’t even pronounce the word? You can tackle the spelling later, but for now, pop that “p”, roll that “r”, and pronounce the word like a pro.
Be yourself, but with a twist
We’re not saying you should do a complete overhaul of your person o, we’re just saying you should add a little spice and maggi. Small Amerigbo accent here, a new walk there.,You know, keep it fresh and spicy. Any time you open your mouth, let their face be filled with shock; shock them into wedding you.
Move yourself
We’re not saying things are not popping in your current state of residence, but if you aren’t living in Lagos or Abuja, then you’re wrong.
There might be oyibo fish in your sea, but there’s no way those fishes are as plenty as the ones in these two states. So, it’s best you pack your bags and head on to larger seas.
Change your hairstyle
You can either scrape your head, gorimakpa style or you can opt for shuku, bantu knots, or thread. You don’t have to like the hairstyle, it just has to get their attention.
Make custom officers your friends
When we say customs, we mean the ones that work in the airport. If you go and find the ones that are standing on the road or the ones that clear goods at the port, then you are on your own.
Make a friend in the customs or aviation industry and beg them — don’t ask, beg them to tell you when the oyibos that are your spec (you want to japa, but you still have taste) enter the country. You can now strategically position yourself and they can mistakenly bump into you. Boom, meet cute. Boom, love at first sight.
Become a flight attendant
A close alternative would be taking up a job as one of those people that push trolleys at the airport. If you’re really nice and consistent, they’ll see you over and over again, then they’ll befriend you. Next thing you know, you’re in Canada, earning in CAD and living a new life.
Sit down in the lobby of Eko hotel
Honestly, you could sit down in front of the Federal Palace Hotel as well. Walking around ShopRite and Ikeja City Mall is also an option. The point of this is to sha get visibility. Hopefully, when they see you three to five times in a row, they will be curious about you and not just think you’re a jobless person.
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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
Today, we are doing things a little bit differently. Instead of discussing the Japa experience for Nigerians in other countries, we will touch more deeply on why some Nigerians moved back home from abroad and why anyone in the diaspora might consider returning to Nigeria.
Just think of it like the usual “Japa” move,
The inspiration for this article came from a viral tweet that one of my editors spotted and tagged me on.
A marriage therapist, Shamseddin Giwa, shared the story of his previous life abroad and how he and his wife could barely make a sustainable income. This forced the couple to return to Nigeria.
Many Nigerians received the story with lots of scepticism and speculation that they left due to “illegal migration.” It was unbelievable for many people. How could anyone make such a decision with Nigeria’s economy crumbling day and night?
On this table, amidst the ongoing debates on social media, illegal migration isn’t always the sole reason for anyone to return to their homeland, Nigeria. There are myriad reasons behind such decisions. To gain a better sense of this decision, six Nigerians who previously lived abroad but have now chosen to reside in Nigeria share their motivations for relocating.
“I had issues with European culture and racism”
Bayo*, an entrepreneur, didn’t experience the stress of European culture and racism while seeking a Master’s degree as a student in Italy. His once cordial relationship with white people changed after graduation due to his lifestyle upgrade through internships.
“After I started to make money from my internships and look nice, I started experiencing racism. My neighbours harassed me and, at one point, even involved the police in minor incidents. For the average Nigerian, every day as an immigrant is stressful,” he shares.
Bayo moved back to Nigeria in 2020, and he has never regretted his choice. He has made “five times the income” he made in Italy, has gained more job opportunities, and describes his lifestyle as “feeling like a king in my own country.”“My mother’s ill health drove me back to Nigeria”
Even though Dele and Dante relocated to Nigeria from the UK in 2011 and 2018, respectively, they have one thing in common about their relocation stories—their mothers. Dante’s mom fell ill, and Dele’s mom passed on.
But the one difference they have, however, is their feelings about relocation. Dante, a software engineer, hates that he moved, while Dele, a business development expert, has never regretted it because he is doing “way better financially” than the friends he left behind.
“I would still have been in the UK if not for my mother’s health. Life there was cool, and there were no worries. I miss the job opportunities and friends I’ve left behind,” Dante shares.Dele is also of the opinion that Japa is only for “economic survival” and that most Nigerians only travel to “gain exposure and enhance their skillset”, not to reside there permanently.
“I came back to Nigeria because of the conflict in Sudan”
In April 2023, John* was among the many Nigerian students in Sudan who had to be immediately evacuated due to the conflict in the nation’s capital, Khartoum, and the Darfur region.
But even though he is grateful for life, John hates that his education has come to an unprecedented halt since he arrived. “I’m doing nothing at home and haven’t finished my studies yet. And I’m currently finding it difficult to get admission as a transfer student,” he complains.
“My dreams of becoming a diplomat can be fulfilled here in Nigeria”
For many Nigerians, they see the Abroad Life as a means of fulfilling their dreams. But not for a recent graduate, Osione. Moving to Nigeria after living in the UK, Switzerland, and Australia is one step towards her long-term goal of becoming a UN Ambassador or diplomat.
She sees this move as important because of “the connection one needs to have with his or her home country” before becoming a diplomat.
Does she regret relocating? Not in any way. She is determined to stay.According to Osione, “Nigeria can be a hard country to live in and find job opportunities in, but nothing will deter me from my long-term goal of an international diplomacy career. If I want to achieve this, I have to stay.”
“I left Ireland because of COVID”
Peter* was halfway through the final year of his undergraduate degree in Ireland when the pandemic struck. As a result, he had to leave Ireland in March 2020 and only go back to school a few months later to finish his degree.
After graduating in 2021, he never returned to Ireland, and he doesn’t see the need to.
“I didn’t plan to work or live there,” Peter shares. “I have more family in Nigeria, and I am more comfortable here with my enterprises and accounting career. In Nigeria, if you find the opportunity to be who you want, it’s not as difficult to live here, unlike living an immigrant life abroad.” -
You say you’re ready to japa, but do you even know the type of immigration plan suited for you? Well, Citizen is here to give you the answer.
P.S: You can gain more insight by reading this article on UK student visas. -
The increased fuel and food prices — with electricity costs and exchange rate following bumper to bumper — means the average Nigerian thinks about running away at least once a day.
To japa or not to japa?
But since japa money doesn’t exactly grow on trees, you can do the next best thing: Get a job that’ll sponsor your japa. Let’s teach you how.
Resign from your current job
How can you look for a job that’ll change your status when you’re still limited to your Nigerian job? Free yourself, so you can move forward.
Get creative on LinkedIn
You’ll need to highlight skills you may not have if you want abroad recruiters to notice you. Now’s the time to put your lying skills to good use. The idea is to become irresistible.
Manifest it
Write your desired country down somewhere you’ll see it every day. You can even make it your laptop wallpaper. Even if your boss and coworkers see it, they can’t blame you. Who no like better thing?
Tell your Nigerian parents
Just tell them you’re hoping for a job that’ll relocate you, and let them do the rest. They’ll carry your name to the mountain and pray until you get it. Side effects include forcefully tagging you along to these prayer sessions.
Start small
If you deep it, Cotonou is also “abroad”. So, start by getting a job in Cotonou or Togo. Are they foreign countries or not?
Get a job with a witch
You may not get any sleep at night, but at least, you’ll fly from country to country. A win is a win.
Become a full-time sugar baby
An opportunity to catch flights and not have to bow to capitalism anymore? Sounds like a plan. Sure, you might meet the one that’ll want to use you for rituals or the one whose wife will beat you like a thief, but that’s small occupational hazard.
NEXT READ: How to Finesse a Job Interview, According to a Recruiter
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Did you know that there are several types of Nigerian passports that are differentiated based on the status and needs of the individual? In this article, we’ll discuss the different kinds of Nigerian passports and the requirements to get one.
Let’s delve right in:
Standard Passport
This Nigerian passport is the regular one, commonly known as the international passport. It is easily recognisable by its green cover and is specifically issued to the general public and everyday citizens.
The standard Nigerian passport is also a means of identification for Nigerians travelling abroad, with a total validity period of 10 years.
The requirements for applying for a standard passport vary depending on whether you’re a first-time applicant or requesting a re-issuance of a new one. For first-time applicants, the following documents are needed:
- A completed passport application form
- National Identity Number (NIN)
- A copy of your birth certificate or age declaration
- Local government letter of identification
- A passport photograph
- Letter of consent from parents (for applicants under 16 years)
- A guarantor’s form is signed by a commissioner of oaths.
- Marriage certificate (if applicable)
- Receipt of payment of passport fee
The requirements for a passport renewal include the following:
- A completed passport application form
- A recent photograph
- A copy of the old passport
- A Police Report that says the passport was stolen or lost
- Receipt of payment of passport fee.
Official Passport
The official passport is distinguished by its blue colour. As the name suggests, this kind of passport is issued to government officials such as ministers, governors, permanent secretaries, top military and police officers, and heads of government parastatals.
The requirements for an official passport are:
- A letter of introduction from the applicant’s ministry or parastatal duly signed by an official not below the rank of a director or secretary to the state government
- A passport photograph
- Receipt of passport fee
Diplomatic Passport
This passport has a distinctive red colour, and it’s issued to ambassadors, consulates, diplomats, and top-ranking government officials like the president, vice-president, senate president, and governors.
The immediate family members of diplomatic passport holders are also eligible to apply for a diplomatic passport themselves.
Unlike other Nigerian passports, the diplomatic passport comes with special privileges. Some of these privileges include:
- Exemption from certain airport routines like bag searches and identity checks
- Visa-free access to 69 countries
- Exemption from paying tax on earnings that result from travelling by air or land
- Permission to use diplomatic licence plates while driving in a foreign country.
The requirements for a diplomatic passport are:
- Written application request
- The return certificate from the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) for political office holders
- Proof of age
- A valid identity card
- Application or introduction letter from their organisation
- Recent appointment/promotion letter
- Two passport photographs
Download the Citizen Election Report: Navigating Nigeria’s Political Journey Pilgrim Passport
The pilgrim passport has no specific colour as it changes yearly, and it is typically issued to people who want to embark on religious pilgrimages, for instance, to Mecca and Jerusalem. And unlike other Nigerian passports, the validity period of the pilgrim passport is 6 months.
Seaman Passport
The seaman passport can be identified by its maroon cover; it is issued to sailors and other maritime personnel.
It allows these sailors access to other countries by sea and shows their qualifications.
The requirements for applying for a seaman’s passport are as follows:
- Local government letter of identification
- Completed passport application form
- Birth certificate
- A passport photograph
- The data page of a guarantor’s standard Nigerian passport
- Guarantor’s driving licence or national identity card
Also read: Can Your Nigerian Passport Support Your Japa Plans?
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Having your best friend move to a different city may not be the end of the world, but it could be the end of that friendship.
So instead of dealing with the stress of distance-induced friendship heartbreak, here are some things you can do:
Ask them to swear
They always say they won’t forget you but don’t take their word for it; ask them to swear on their unborn child’s edges. They’ll have no choice but to remain besties with you because they can’t risk their children walking around looking like a rat ate their baby hairs…
Send them pictures
This is perfect for people with different time zones. Send them a selfie before they wake up because your beautiful face needs to be the first thing they see before they start their day.
Disturb them with memes
They already have to live with the darkness and void that comes with being away from you, and you need to remind them that you’re the source of their happiness.
Become their personal amebo radio station
You owe it to your friend to keep them updated on the lives of everyone they’ve left behind. And what’s a better activity than
gossipinggiving unsolicited commentary on the drama in other people’s lives?Try virtual movie dates
If you want the relationship to last, you must be intentional. Sacrifice a little data, and block out a time of the day to watch a movie together with your friend.
Surprise them
Take note of the days that are important to them, and do something special for them. It could be as little as a heartfelt text or as much as money. Even though there’s a high chance they have more than you, you need to remind them that you care about their special days and you’re looking out for them.
Go and meet them
You love them, but you’re okay with them living miles apart? Chelsea, come on now. You better go online to buy the next ticket to wherever they are. Don’t worry about money; your love should be the currency you pay with. And if love is not enough, you can quickly meet your Edo friend to borrow their broom.
READ THIS: The Zikoko Hack to Japa Without Money
Manifest it
Do you not know the power of manifestation? Get a piece of paper with your names and bond them to you forever. You’re welcome.
RELATED: All the Emotions You Experience When Your Friend Japa
Trust us, your friend would want you to be here
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According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), it’s recommended for a country to have a mix of 23 doctors, midwives and nurses per 10,000 people. However, the doctor-to-patient ratio in Nigeria is 1 to 30,000 patients in the South and 1 to 45,000 patients in the North.
To tackle this problem, the House of Representatives, Nigeria’s junior legislative chamber, is blaming japa—emigration—and on April 6, 2023, a dreary Medical and Dental Practitioners Act (Amendment) Bill, 2022 passed for second reading.
What is this bill?
The MDPA Bill would make it compulsory for any Nigerian-trained medical doctor or dentist to practise in Nigeria for at least five years before being granted a full licence.
The House of Reps gave two reasons for this bill:
- To make quality healthcare available to Nigerians and avoid a total collapse of our health sector.
- Medical education is heavily subsidised in Nigeria compared to schools in the United States and Europe, and this is a way for doctors to give back to the country.
However, the House of Representatives might be turning a blind eye to the deplorable state of Nigeria’s healthcare system.
For instance, on December 8, 2022, the Abia chapter of the Nigerian Medical Association embarked on a strike to demand payment of salaries owed to them by the State government. Also, Nigerian hospitals lack proper funding and infrastructure; doctors are forced to work under poor conditions and are often underpaid.
Reactions to the Bill
There have been mixed reactions to the Bill so far; some people agree with the government, while others think the House of Reps is showing a more advanced form of wickedness.
The Medical and Dental Consultants of Nigeria (MDCAN) have rejected the Bill and described it as modern-day slavery. And this is against Section 34(1) b of the Nigerian constitution, which says, “No person shall be held in slavery or servitude”, and Section 34(1) c, which states: “No one shall be required to perform forced or compulsory labour.”
Unfortunately, the House of Reps skipped over steps of providing standard medical infrastructure, improving working conditions and increasing the pay of medical practitioners to instead infringe on their fundamental human rights. They also failed to address the amount of money spent on medical tourism by public officials.
Members of the House of Reps should first remove the log of wood in their eyes before trying to tie down medical practitioners simply looking for greener pastures.
If you saw violence during the 2023 elections and thought, “Where did we go wrong?” We have the answer for you. Join us on Twitter Spaces on Friday, April 14th, by 6 pm as we talk to historians to give us a perspective on that slice of history. Save the date!
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different Nigerian cities.
Image Source: Unsplash (*Actual subjects are anonymous) Susan* (28) and David* (30) have been together for over five years and have been married for less than six months. During this time, they’ve relocated to the UK. In this article, she talks about her small wedding, relocating on a dependant visa and how they’re surviving as a young couple in a new country.
Occupation and location
Customer sales representative living in the UK
Average monthly income
I make about £200 weekly, so that’s £800 or £1k if I work extra hours.
Relationship expenses
Wristwatch gift: ₦20k – ₦25k
Random food surprises: ₦5k
Mules: ₦45k
Surprise dinner: ₦212k
Birthday shoes: ₦40k
Kaftan: ₦20k – ₦25k
Occasional flight to Lagos: ₦60k return ticket
What takes the most money in your relationship?
Flights. When we were dating, we lived in different cities — Abuja and Lagos — so one person constantly had to make the trip if we wanted to spend time together. However, we couldn’t make the trips all the time. There was one time we didn’t see each other for a whole year.
Ah
It was in 2019, the year after we started dating.
We first met at a wedding in Lagos, but we’d been talking for nearly a year after being matchmade by a mutual friend in 2017. Between talking for long hours every day and being busy with work, we didn’t realise so much time had gone by. But once we did, we started planning to see each other. I spent the whole of 2020 in Lagos because I got a fashion design scholarship. Also, there was the lockdown.
What about the lockdown?
It was the best time of my life. My classes were at walking distance from where I was staying in Ikeja. My cousin’s husband, whom I was living with also had clearance to move around, so he’d drive me to David’s place at Festac, and I’d spend a week or two there.
Our relationship got really serious during this time. We talked about our plans; marriage, kids and all that stuff.
I returned to Abuja in December 2020, and he visited in July 2021. He was still working remotely due to COVID, but I was back to working from the office, so I’d leave him at home with my mum while I went to work.
Interesting
It was nice that I didn’t need to be around before they bonded. He stayed for about a month before he returned to Lagos.
At the end of the year, I flew down to Lagos for his birthday. I wanted to do something special — a surprise because he always surprised me with gifts on my birthday. So I spoke to one of his close friends and invited his other friends for a surprise dinner. The budget was ₦200k, but we spent an additional ₦12k. I also got him mules which were about ₦40k.
That’s a lot of money
I know. Gifting is my love language, so I like to go all out. I see something nice, and I want to get it for him. It started with watches; I got him one for his first birthday since we got together in 2018, and another because I had admired it on my coworker. Each costs about ₦20k – ₦25k.
But I noticed he wasn’t a fan of wristwatches, so I moved to shoes. They range between ₦40k- ₦50k. I also used to surprise him with food or cakes from my chef friend. They were always within the range of ₦5k, and sometimes I make him kaftans. I usually don’t make clothes for men, but I do it for my man. So I have to buy the fabric, which costs about ₦20k.
Big purr
I’ve learnt to pay attention to the things he needs or spends time admiring online. And living with my parents also made all these easier because I wasn’t paying rent; my only expenses were buying some self-care products, paying tithe, savings and spending on David.
God, when?
Before I met him, I was very reckless with money. I figured the money would always come, so I made money for spending. I wasn’t scared of going broke because I always thought it would be temporary if it happened.
YOLO
Exactly. But David taught me how to put money aside and live on a monthly budget. I started saving ₦60k from my ₦100k salary.
More than half your salary?
Asides from my 9-5 job at a dental hospital, I was making up to ₦200k monthly from my sewing business, so it didn’t hurt to save.
By 2022, I was confident in my skills and knew it was what I wanted to do, so I quit my 9-5 to focus on sewing. My income increased to ₦300k – ₦400k in a good month, and I started saving and investing more.
MAD. And you still decided to japa?
I’ve always wanted to leave the country. I just wasn’t interested in going for a master’s. So when David first discussed his japa plans with me and offered to study while I joined as a dependent, I agreed.
How did that go?
The process was pretty seamless for me. He had gotten admission for his master’s, so he did all his preparations while simultaneously planning for our wedding. He travelled a week after our church blessed our marriage. I started my process after he arrived in January 2023, and it took a week before it was approved. I travelled in March to meet him.
How much did this cost?
I don’t know how much he spent on his end, but I only paid ₦1m for my flight ticket. He paid ₦100k for the agent fee.
What about the wedding?
We didn’t have a glamorous wedding. In February 2022, he proposed on a dinner date we were having with some of our friends. We had both our court and introduction in October 2022 and went to church in January 2023. My village doesn’t require the whole traditional ceremony, so he had calculated everything on the list, monetised it and paid in addition to the bride price. I have no idea how much it cost.
We had just a few people at our court wedding, so he ordered food for them. We didn’t have a white wedding because throwing money at a party and cooking for a bunch of people seemed like a waste to me. We just did church blessings and went to a restaurant with our friends after.
That’s so chill
I made all three outfits, so the only money I spent was on fabric, which was ₦15k – ₦20k per outfit. I don’t think I did anything that made a hole in my savings. But I can’t say the same for David.
Why?
Asides from our wedding expenses, he had travelled about three times to Abuja for me and our wedding. And since flight ticket prices had drastically increased in 2022, he was spending nothing less than ₦100k on each return ticket.
That’s plenty
I agree. Occasionally, I offered to take care of some of the hotel bills when we had to lounge in one because we wanted our privacy. They cost less than ₦50k.
Fair. What’s an ideal date for you?
We both realised early in the relationship that neither of us liked going out. So when we are in the same space, we make out time to watch a movie every night. And it’s become a ritual for us. After dinner, we choose a movie – an oldie or something new — and watch it together.
What has changed since you relocated?
It’s beginning to feel like we’re a married couple. I have my own pots and a kitchen! Even after the court wedding and introduction, it still felt like we were dating because we spent limited time together, but now it’s different. Nothing has changed in how we treat each other, but we’re settling into this new life together.
He pays the rent and major bills from what he makes from his part-time care job. And I’ve become more prudent with money. Some days back, we saw a nice hoodie on our way home, and he was considering getting it for me, but I told him it wasn’t necessary.
Awesome. Do you have a financial safety net?
I have about ₦2m saved in my naira account. We plan to start a joint savings account once I fully adjust to the system. I’ve started to sew alongside my job — £100 per outfit. Hopefully, the orders become more frequent.
What is your ideal financial future?
I want to be able to buy a house in the next two to three years, in the UK, Canada, Nigeria, wherever we find ourselves. I also want to have enough money to help people around me whenever they need it without batting an eyelid. I think the same goes for David.
But for long-term goals, he’d want us to travel the world.
If you’re interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship, this is a good place to start.
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INEC has declared a winner of the 2023 presidential elections amidst multiple rigging allegations and outcries by citizens. This has inevitably led to social conversations on re-awakened japa dreams, even though japa money isn’t as easy to get as money for beans or dodo.
We spoke to seven Nigerians who’ve either left the country or had the opportunity to but didn’t take it. They shared what they wish they did differently and their advice to younger Nigerians.
“I planned to retire here, but I might go back”
— Christiana*, 63
I moved to the UK in the 70s with my husband and kids because his family is from there. It wasn’t the most popular decision then, and I badly missed Nigeria. It didn’t help that I separated from my husband soon after we left. I became quite successful — and I attribute it to the working system — raised my children alone and regularly sent money home, but I always wanted to return to Nigeria because of how much I missed my country. So when I retired in 2020, I decided to spend my retirement years in my fatherland. I started building a house in Lagos and eventually moved back in October 2022, but I regret it.
These past few weeks of cash scarcity have been tough for me. I don’t have a debit card because I put some limitations on my account so they only pay me over the counter. I did this a few years earlier after I got robbed when I visited Nigeria. So, the one time I was able to enter the bank during this period, they gave me ₦5k and asked me not to come back for cash until after ten days. My kids have been pestering me to return to the UK, and I may have to listen to them sooner or later. I’d advise any young person to leave if they have the chance. It’s better to have an option than to be stuck here.
“I regret not leaving earlier”
— Wole*, 52
My wife and I have worked in pretty impressive organisations over the years — even the United Nations — so money wasn’t a problem. We had the opportunity to relocate right after we got married, but I’ve always been an advocate for “Nigeria will be great”. We’ve been married for over 20 years, and Nigeria has only gotten worse during that period.
Now, we have three children in private universities, and I regret not relocating earlier. It’s now expensive to move everyone at the same time, whereas if we had simply moved after marriage, we’d only have each other to worry about. My wife is still trying to apply to Canada through WES, so we’ll see how it goes. For the younger generation, if you see any opportunity to leave, please, take it.
“Nigeria is my home”
— Leke*, 40
I’ve had the opportunity to leave this country, but I don’t see myself ever leaving Nigeria permanently. Nigeria is my home. My businesses are here, and I can always travel and come back. People think the grass is greener abroad, but do you think it’s easy to succeed there? Especially with the many taxes and regulations.
Why don’t we focus all that japa hustle energy on building our country? Let foreigners want to relocate here instead.
RELATED: 9 Young Nigerians on Why They Haven’t Left Nigeria Already
“My children will japa on my behalf”
— Moji*, 43
I had the opportunity to travel to the UK as a nurse ten years ago, but I didn’t want to leave my children behind. I didn’t trust my husband not to bring another woman into the house who’d maltreat my children.
I wouldn’t say I regret it now because I’d make the same decision if I could go back in time. My children will japa on my behalf, and I know I won’t suffer, no matter what happens in Nigeria.
“It’s the best decision I ever made”
— Goke*, 36
I relocated to Canada in 2022. I’ve not spent up to six months here, but it’s easily the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m finally in a system that works. I don’t have family members here, but at least, I’m not looking over my shoulder for a policeman or “ungun known man” when I walk the streets.
For the younger ones, I’ll say if you have to save, do it. If you have to go the educational route, do it. Do whatever it takes to leave that country. Tinubu has finally rigged his way to victory, and I predict it’ll only get worse.
“I won’t rest till I move my family here”
— Ify*, 42
I moved to the US for my PhD in 2015 and became a permanent resident in 2022. I’m glad I got out, and I advise young Nigerians to try the academic route too. Even if you decide to return to Nigeria, at least you know you can leave if things get crazy.
As for me, I won’t rest till I move my mum and dad here. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll find a way. I can’t let them remain at the mercy of evil leaders.
“I know Nigeria will be better”
— Segun*, 35
I moved to London for my master’s in 2017 but didn’t try to stay back. I believe in Nigeria’s potential, so I chose to come back home and try to be the change I hope to see in this nation. Contrary to popular belief, I know Nigeria will be better with Tinubu at the helm of affairs. He has the experience and prowess, and I eagerly look forward to a new wind of change in this country.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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Your japa dreams have finally come to pass, and it’s time to leave Nigeria. It’s also time to sell all your properties for extra cash.
When I say “property”, you might be thinking cars and family land. No, that’s for bastardly-rich people. For ordinary citizens like you and me, these items are the sellable property.
Plastic “takeaway” plates
We all still have a giant pile of takeaway plates dating back since 2005. Some people call it hoarding, I say it’s saving the environment from plastic pollution. So what if they now look like a fair Igbo babe? They still work, right? Sell them.
Plastic bags
Why throw away what you’ve spent years accumulating, when you can just pass on the tradition to someone else for a fee? If you think no one will buy because they have their own stash of plastic bags, just try it first. There’s no such thing as too many plastic bags.
Power bank
There’s no NEPA where you’re going, so you might as well sell your power bank to those who still need it.
Hand fans
Sure, the sun is everywhere, but the one abroad sun-kisses people.
Cash
Specifically, the new naira notes. It’s now worth more than dollars in Nigeria, so you’ll be smiling to the bank.
Body parts
Wherever you’re relocating to, the odds are their medical system is better than Nigeria’s. I’m sure they can keep you alive even without a heart or liver.
Wi-Fi devices and data
You can even throw in your sim cards as a bonus. Considering how much these internet service providers have disgraced us, I say it’s good riddance to bad rubbish.
Your glucose guardian
Unless they’ll be sending you funds in foreign currency, sell them. What do you need naira for when you’re already in a new dispensation?
NEXT READ: Everyone in Nigeria Is a Victim of These 10 Scams
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Nigerians in the diaspora can be annoying sometimes. It’s like they all got the same memo: Japa and begin to find ways to annoy all the Nigerians you left behind. I need japa connoisseurs to please stop doing these 10 things.
Recording videos in the snow
One thing japa warriors have in common is recording all their videos outside in the snow. Does the snow emphasise that they’re abroad, or does it show the hardship they’re really going through? Either way, they need to stop.
Telling us how cold it is
At least 100 new Ontarians have told us how cold it is. We’ve heard. But it won’t stop us from coming.
Reminding us that it’s not easy
Every five seconds, they must remind us that living abroad isn’t easy, like they’re not enjoying the perks of a functional society and economy. Come back to Nigeria then, if abroad is so tough. Nowhere is completely easy, except you’re rich.
Telling us to stay back
I hate when they make statements like, “Don’t come to the UK. The people here aren’t friendly”, or “Don’t come to Japan. The sun doesn’t shine”. Other nationalities are finding ways to bring in more of their people, but Nigerians are telling theirs not to come.
Telling us how lonely it is
They don’t even mean they miss their families or struggle to make genuine friends. All they care about is how hard it is to find a sex partner. Then they tell us to find partners we can bring abroad with us.
Telling us to japa
They japa and immediately forget the struggles they faced when they were leaving the country. Now, every time something bad happens in Nigeria, we get variations of “Better japa fast if you like yourself”, “Japa o. Nigeria is horrible”. Will you give me the money?
Acting like they don’t know how bad Nigeria is
All of a sudden, they’ve forgotten that NEPA takes light and the background sound they hear over the phone is generator noise. I once complained about working late at a former bank job, to a friend abroad, and he asked me to quit since they aren’t paying overtime. You say, what?
Telling us how much stuff in their new country costs in naira
“Can’t believe I just paid ₦13k to barb my hair.” No, sir. You paid $30. They’re not earning in naira, so I don’t get why they’re always crying about the naira equivalent of things. Are they looking for pity?
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Sunken Ships is a Zikoko series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.
The subject of this week’s Sunken Ships is a woman who’s tired of losing her friends to the japa wave. After having four of her friends leave, Yinka* (28) feels she has no friends left in Nigeria, but she still doesn’t want to leave.
Let’s start from the beginning
Yinka: In 2015, Adeola, my friend from church, was my first friend to leave Nigeria. We’d been friends since we were children. Our mothers were both in the choir, so we often saw each other during practices and church programmes.
I’m not a very outgoing person, so making friends was difficult for me. She was about my only friend in the church even after I’d been going there for a decade. But she had a few other friends outside of me. She never for once made me feel like I wasn’t as important as her other friends. She even introduced me to them. We barely argued, and everything seemed really great.
She never indicated that she planned on leaving the country, or I just didn’t know because she didn’t consider us close enough. Either way, I didn’t find out until a day before she left. We were eating sugar cane when she told me her flight out of the country was the next day. I didn’t know what to do except be happy for her, so I was.
What do you mean by you didn’t know what to do?
Yinka: Well, the babe and I weren’t close enough for it to have caused me to break down into tears. However, we were close enough that I could feel her departure. For the first couple of Sundays, I unconsciously kept looking for her in church.
RELATED: Sunken Ships: My Best Friend Lied About His Move Abroad
Did you think the japa situation was going to become a problem later?
Yinka: No, I didn’t. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have many friends, but at that time, people barely spoke about leaving the country. A lot of us were just leaving school or starting new jobs, and the phrase on our lips was, “The country will get better.” There was still a lot of patriotism in the air at the time.
When did you realise it might be a problem?
Yinka: 2017, when another friend left Nigeria. Betty* and I met each other during NYSC in 2015. We were bunkmates and got along great.
Unlike my church friend, Betty always made it clear that her Nigeria situation was not permanent. For her, NYSC was a way to waste her time while she waited for word from the schools she’d applied to.
Honestly, I admired her for knowing what she wanted out of life and fighting really hard for it. However, it didn’t hurt any less when she left. I’d been carried along through the entire process, but her farewell dinner was the first time I cried. Seeing everyone talk about how much they’d miss her, I almost lost my mind. When it was my turn to say a few things about her, I just cried and hugged her. I was going to miss her so much.
Was keeping in touch with these people not an option?
Yinka: It was, but how long could we keep in touch? Maybe it’s because I’m a very out of sight person, but I find it very difficult to keep in touch with people I don’t see often. Adeola and I weren’t close enough for weekly calls, but we did try to have them once every two weeks. With time, it dwindled to just liking each other’s posts on Instagram.
Betty and I tried to do weekly calls, but her classes got too demanding, my job got too stressful, and with a seven-hour time difference, there was only so much we could do. We still occasionally text, but it wasn’t the same as when she could enter a cab to my office because she wanted me to buy her amala from the woman who sold it near my office.
Okay, I see your point
Yinka: I’m not saying no one can maintain a healthy long-distance friendship, but I’m not one of those people who can. My distance has to be driveable.
How many more times did you have a friend leave the country?
Yinka: Twice. The next was in 2019, and I think it caused a major problem for me. Even though it was someone I’d known for roughly a year, I’m still trying to recover from no longer being able to see her.
Chidera* and I were coworkers. Our company hired her almost immediately after they hired me in 2018, and we spent a lot of time together, trying to solve the problems our bosses created for us. I wasn’t expecting us to build a strong friendship, but it happened.
It was a couple of months after she was hired. We met at a party one of my cousins had invited me to. Since she was the only person I knew outside of my cousin, we sat together. We talked about work and life outside of work. I think that’s when we realised we had a lot in common. We exchanged social media accounts and kept in touch. It started with tweets about shows we were watching, then it progressed to texts then calls.
Whenever we sat together to work, we barely got anything done. Even our co-workers knew how close we were. They said arguing with one of us was like arguing with both of us. Why? Because we always had each other’s back.
That’s so cute
Yinka: She was my confidant and best friend, and I knew I was hers too. We had sleepovers at each other’s houses, talked about the men in our lives and discussed plans to live a better life.
During one of such discussions, she mentioned applying for new jobs. At first, I thought her search was limited to Abuja, but she mentioned jobs in Lagos and Canada.
I sent her every link I could find to every job opening related to what she wanted to do. At a point, if you opened my phone, all you saw were job applications. I helped her fill her forms, and when she got the job, I took her out to dinner and we drank, cried and drank some more.
We found buyers for her property together. I bought the ticket she used to leave the country. And because her parents are late, I was the only person who followed her to the airport. Her only sibling was waiting to receive her in Canada.
How did it feel watching her leave?
Yinka: I didn’t leave the airport premises until she sent me a message that she’d boarded her flight. I refused to drive to the airport because my chest was too tight for me to think straight. And I cried so much, my Uber driver had to ask me if someone died.
I took a week off work and even left our former company three months after. I couldn’t work there anymore. It wasn’t the same without her. Chidera and I still speak, at least more than I do with Adeola or Betty. We had to schedule each other into our lives. We speak on the phone every Sunday afternoon and try to get up to date with what’s going on. I still miss her so much. I was supposed to travel to see her in 2020, but with COVID-19 and the lockdown, that didn’t happen. I’m planning another trip for later in 2023, so let’s hope nothing spoils that one.
RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend and I Blame Nigeria
So watching a friend leave for the fourth time…
Yinka: It was my cousin and she left in 2022. She’d gotten married during the pandemic in 2020, and her husband left for the USA in 2021. In 2022, they finally worked all their papers and she went to join him. I didn’t follow her to the airport or even attend her farewell party. I told her congratulations, sent her some money and prayed for her. Anything more was not in my power to do. I was numb to it all by this point.
Why?
Yinka: I’m exhausted. Maybe it’s japa fatigue, but I don’t know how to process watching someone leave again. Sure, it’s not like they’re dying, but what’s the point?
The whole situation has made it even harder for me to make friends. Almost everyone you meet now is talking about leaving the country or asking you when you plan to leave. What’s the point of making a new friend who’ll leave you in a couple of months for greener pastures? I don’t blame them because Nigeria is hard. But it’s getting harder because I have no friends to lean on. I’m extremely lonely, and there’s not much I can do about it.
Do you want to leave Nigeria?
Yinka: It seems like the sensible choice, but my answer is no. I don’t want to go. I’m my parents’ only child; I don’t want to leave them alone. I also don’t like the idea of starting over. Learning a new language? A new set of customs and behaviours? I can’t do it. I just hope things change in Nigeria so moving countries doesn’t become a prayer point for me in the future.
RELATED: Sunken Ships: Politics Is Enough for Me to End Our Friendship
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What if I said you didn’t have to go to the cinema or spend over an hour on a streaming service to get a good Nollywood experience? While most people have heard about short films, not many give this subsection of Nollywood the flowers it deserves for constantly raising the bar when it comes to storytelling.
A Japa Tale From anniversaries gone wrong to stage plays masqueraded as church services, these are some of the Nollywood shorts I rate. And since I have taste, there’s a high chance you’d love them too.
A Japa Tale— Dika Ofoma
What would you do if you discovered your partner has plans to japa without you? This head-scratching question is the main driver of Dika Ofoma’s A Japa Tale. Drowning out the noise of the outside world, this beautifully paced film focuses on a simple love story between two characters, and the massive wrench that could either make or break their relationship.
In a time when Nigerians are either dealing with the hurdles of trying to japa or managing the feeling of being left behind by their loved ones, A Japa Tale feels incredibly poignant and grounded in reality.
Ijo — Fatimah Binta Gimsay
If you’re trying to get your partner to attend a dance class with you, then watching Ijo with them might do the trick. Led by Charles Etubiebi and Genoveva Umeh, Ijo delves into the complexities of marriage, compatibility and how love can slowly turn into resentment over time. The bulk of this film tracks a long back-and-forth between the two actors. But, still, Ijo nicely unwraps its characters and their motivations in 14 minutes.
I’ll suggest saving Ijo for Valentine’s Day, so you can test the strength of your relationship.
The Rehearsal — Michael Omonua
Christian or not, it’s hard to deny the theatrical nature of churches these days. This thin line between performance and religion is what Michael Omonua plays with in The Rehearsal. The film follows a priest leading a group of people to practise how to faint and convulse in the name of getting delivered at the upcoming Sunday service. In this film, the church is turned into a stage, with everyone putting on their best Stella Damasus fainting shoes to deceive an unassuming audience.
The Rehearsal will have you laughing and questioning everything you know about deliverances by the time you’re done.
Samaria — Chiemeka Osuagwu
In a little under 18 minutes, Chiemeka Osuagwu is able to weave a familiar yet shocking story with his debut short film, Samaria. The film explores the budding friendship between its lead character, Amarachi, and the good samaritan who motivates her to fight for her right to an education.
Just like in the relationship between these characters, Samaria slowly invites you to trust it, making you confident in the direction it’s taking before it takes an unexpected turn that’ll have you saying, “WTF?” repeatedly.
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The Way Things Happen — Ugochukwu Onuoha and Dika Ofoma
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cn6xI2v_s94&t=134s
If there’s one Nollywood film that hits the spot when conveying grief, without feeling over-the-top or too restrained, it’s The Way Things Happen by Ugochukwu Onuoha and Dika Ofoma.
The film opens with an introduction to Echelon Mbadiwe and Benjamin Maazi as a couple with such fantastic chemistry, you’ll be wishing you were a third. However, it isn’t long before the film snatches that “God, when?” feeling and replaces it with sadness following the death of Benjamin’s character. From then on, we’re made to observe, join in and work our way out of the grief, with Echelon Mbadiwe leading the way.
The Way Things Happen doesn’t try too hard to make you feel things. Instead, it tells a simple story with an intention and care that inadvertently tugs at your heartstrings.
The Verdict — Stanley Ohikhuare
The Verdict is a hard film to watch. Based on a true story, it reenacts the last moments of 19-year-old Laveena Johnson, who passed away in 2005 after joining the American military. While evidence shows she was attacked, raped and killed, the military ruled her death a suicide. With Zainab Balogun taking on the role of Laveena, Stanley Ohikuare argues her case by showing how impossible it is for someone to do the things Laveena allegedly did to herself.
Lizard — Akinola Davies Jr.
Set in the 1990s, Akinola Davies Jr’s Lizard peels back different layers of organised religion and some of the “non-religious” ways of the people who subscribe to it. Exploring different scenarios through the eyes of its young lead character, Juwon, we see pastors bumping genitals with church members, church staff stealing money from the congregation and a thief who prays before going on his robbery spree.
There’s a lot to unpack here, and just like Juwon, there’s a high chance your perception of sin and religion might change after watching Lizard.
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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
This week’s subject on #TheAbroadLife was a Unilag student who got a fully-sponsored internship in 2022 with an investment bank in the UK. He talks about living in a minor city where he’s often the only black person around, how he’s adjusted to it and why he’s considering a permanent stay in the UK.
Where are you right now?
I’m in Nigeria right now, but that’s only because I came back to enjoy my December. But I live in Chester in the UK.
When did you decide to leave Nigeria?
I didn’t really decide to leave, but everything was set in motion in my penultimate year in Unilag, when I got a summer internship at an investment bank in the UK. It was a fully-sponsored internship and it prompted my move.
Goals. How did you get the internship?
Some global investment banks recruit interns from African countries, as well as other parts of the world. So, it was a typical job application experience. I saw the opening, applied, got invited for a test, a recorded interview followed by a live interview.
With these internships, you’re usually applying to a range of divisions within the bank. Divisions like investment banking, capital markets, human resources, technology, etc.
I started the application late in 2021, and a few months later, I was offered an internship position. It was only meant to be ten weeks long, but my visa allowed me to stay a while longer than that. They initiated the process for me to move and work in their office in Chester, UK.
That’s sweet. What was the visa application process like?
The bank uses a travel company called Fragomen to help with the immigration of their employees. They assisted me from the point of getting an offer letter and applying for a work visa to getting my biometric done and my visa approved. I just had to take my documents to TLS, a UK visa application centre in Ikeja, and they mediated everything else from there on out. The process normally takes about six to eight weeks. But due to the war heating up in Ukraine at the time, it took about ten weeks for me to get a decision.
My visa got approved and the next thing was for me to move. I left Nigeria for the UK in June 2022. The company handled all expenses including my accommodation in the UK.
What were you expecting when you left for the UK?
I had an open mind. This was my first time leaving Nigeria at all, so I only knew as much as I’d heard. One thing that struck me about the place is how different Chester is from the more cosmopolitan cities like London.
99% of the people are white. I can be sure that when I enter any gathering or location here, I’ll be the only black person. I’m often the only black person on the trains. It makes the experience lonely, but at the same time, eye-opening. The loneliness can be very face-slapping sometimes sha. One time, it got really bad that I decided to try a local dating app, and I couldn’t even find any black person on it.
Was it the same at your internship?
Not really. We had way more diversity where I worked. The company hired about 30 Africans, and around 12 of us were in Chester. So, at least I had people I could relate with much better. Of the 12 Africans, one was Nigerian and fluent in French.
The company itself has a culture of inclusion, and it showed. I met interns who were military veterans. I met someone who could speak up to seven languages. Another has a YouTube channel with over 100k subscribers. Another was a trans person. It just made me realise how much more people could be outside of the straight line of going to school and “reading book”.
Also, it made me see how narrow my worldview had been up until then. The experience really widened my psyche, and I’m grateful for it.
What’s Chester like?
It’s an old city built during the Roman empire, so it still has buildings with that ancient feel, places like the Chester Cathedral. It’s a naturally beautiful place, where you can just take a short walk outside and randomly find a spot to take Instagram-worthy pictures. Also, they have the second biggest zoo in all of UK.
The city is very community-centered. You’ll see families walk their dogs and old people holding hands. They also have a lot of space. Because of that, horse racing is very big in Chester. In fact, it’s almost a weekly festival. You know how families dress their kids up to go to church on Sundays? That’s exactly how entire families dress up to go watch the races on weekends here. It’s so nice to see. Never seen a more laid back group of people before.
Tell me more about the people
They’re extremely polite and always want to make small talk, even about things that aren’t exactly their business. They’re also very accommodating. Even though it was a predominantly-white environment, I never felt like I was treated differently. In fact, they always seemed so excited to meet someone who’s new to the place.
One time, I and a friend — also an intern — were going to a place we’d never been before, and we were talking on the bus, trying to figure out where the right stop was. This woman sitting behind us overheard and politely interfered to tell us where the right stop was. After, she started making small talk about where we were going, and just like that, she became our friend for the rest of the ride.
Have you had any culture shocks since getting to the UK?
Ah, yes. Where do I start from? The food! Oh my god. I have to carry pepper with me every time because the food is always bland. And it’s impossible to find African restaurants here. It’s impossible to find Nigerian food unless I cook, which I absolutely don’t like doing. I’ve been to London a few times since I’ve been in Chester, and I always have more food options there.
Another thing is the cold. I arrived during the summer, and the weather was 14oC. How in the world is it 14oC during summer? I carried a lot of regular shirts thinking I could make do with them since it was summer. LMAO.
The accent here is another interesting thing. It sounds like English, and it’s actually English, but you can’t tell for sure when they’re talking to you. Their accent is very similar to Scottish, so it’s different from what you’d hear in places like London. It used to be a struggle when I’m in conversations, but I’m better at understanding it now.
Another thing is how much people smoke here. Everyone has a vape pen. I love the people here, but the smoking makes me scared for them sometimes.
How long was the whole internship experience?
It was ten weeks long.
How have you been able to stay so long then?
After the internship, I applied to extend my stay to get a better feel of the city. On top of that, the company I worked with reviewed my performance and offered me a full-time position. But I had to come back to Nigeria to complete my education first.
Now that I’m done, I’m going back to Chester because what am I looking for in Nigeria?
So you’ll stay in Chester for as long as possible?
I’d prefer to move to a place with more variety, especially with the food. London would make sense. But I also like Chester, so I can definitely settle here.
Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.
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Everyone loves the good life. This explains why many Nigerians are very eager to japa to get it. There’s just one developing problem — Nigeria’s passport index is really low.
So while you may be on the verge of escaping, it’s worth pondering: is Nigeria really done with you?
What’s the passport index?
You know how there is a rule of law index which measures how countries uphold the rule of law? Or a corruption perception index that measures the perceived level of public corruption? There’s a passport index too. It measures the strength of a passport based on how many countries will issue it a visa on arrival.
The Henley Passport Index for 2023 was recently released and it ranks Nigeria 97. If you’re wondering whether that’s a good or bad thing, let’s just say the last country on the index is Afghanistan and it’s ranked 109.
Nigeria is dragging with Ethiopia (a country that was at war in 2022) with a score of 97. The 46 you see beside our name represents the number of countries that will grant a visa on arrival. 25 countries will grant Nigerian passport holders visa-free access. That means that Nigerians cannot access over 181 travel destinations without a visa, visa-on-arrival or e-visa arrangement.
The data for this ranking comes from the International Air Transport Authority (IATA). It is also updated using extensive in-house research and open-source online data.
Now compare Nigeria with the world’s most valuable passports.
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How does Nigeria compare with other West African countries?
As far as West Africa is concerned, we’ve carried last. Gambia and our jollof rivals, Ghana, have found new reasons to raise their shoulders at us. Our low index means that even if you want to japa, your visa options are pretty limited. These are the only countries your Nigerian passport can give you visa-free access to outside Africa.
Look at that list again and tell me it doesn’t make you shake your head.
How can Nigeria improve on the passport index?
Most passport indices focus on global mobility which is how well you can travel from one country to another. There are other factors that influence this. One of them is the quality of living. The countries that tend to rank high are the ones with higher qualities of living standards. So if your country is doing fine, more countries will grant your citizens visa-free access.
There’s also the investment ranking. How easy is it for one to invest in a country and get their earnings without any government wahala? How dynamic is the economy and its purchasing power? Nigerians already know the answer to that. If we can improve on these things there’s a good chance the Nigerian passport will gain more acceptance. One way to do this is by ensuring we have the right leaders. And the only way to get the right leaders is by voting them in.
So if you want the disrespect to end, vote right on February 25, 2023.
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Before you can confidently say you’re tired of Nigeria and want to japa, you should at least have a basic knowledge of other countries.
Let this European geography quiz be the judge.
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Holidays should be spent with family and friends. But what happens when you’re in a different country, far from home? From spending the day at work to seeking companionship on dating sites, these Nigerians share their 2022 holiday season experience.
“I had to cook and eat alone” — Grey
I’m used to spending my holidays with family. Even when I stayed in Lagos for a year, I spent it with an uncle. So being in a space with no family members was a bit lonely. I had to cook myself and eat alone while talking to my family members over the phone. But I spent New Year’s Eve dancing at a bar — that was fun. I had to work on New Year’s Day sha.
“People in the UK have more Christmas spirit” — Riri
Besides the fact that I’m still trying to find my feet, so I had to work on Christmas Day, I was excited about my first Christmas in the UK. Unlike Nigeria, where there’s not a lot of decoration, there were Christmas decorations and songs everywhere! The people seemed more high-spirited. It was also great to experience snow for the first time. I’m positive this year will be better because I’d have more friends, maybe a man, so I’d join and do “me and mine”.
“Nobody gave me rice and chicken” — Ifeanyi
These people are stingy. None of my neighbours gave me rice, chicken, drink, even muffins I didn’t see. I don’t even know if people wear Christmas clothes because everyone’s wearing a jacket because of the cold in London.
Even though I’d taken a Christmas shift to reduce the loneliness, I still felt lonely. The roads were very dry. I had to video call my family. I didn’t want to feel that loneliness again, so I visited my friend for New Year’s.
“I spent the day between video calls with family and Netflix” — Nnanna
I planned to spend Christmas with my sister in Toronto, but due to a snowstorm, there was a sit-at-home mandate between December 23rd to 27th, 2022 in Ontario, where I stay. I was indoors with my flatmate and a girl I met off a dating app. Christmas was pretty boring; I spent the day alternating between video calls with family members and watching movies online. Unlike Nigeria where people spend the holidays going out, not only are all the stores in Ontario closed, everyone spends time indoors with family.
“I chose to work for the double pay” — Tayo
They may love Christmas here, but they’re not as loud about it as in Nigeria. While their focus is on gifting their loved ones and spending time together, Nigerians throw parties and share food. This is why it’s especially lonely around the holidays here. Because I’d already anticipated the loneliness, I picked up more work shifts during the period. They were going to pay double, and it seemed like a better way to spend the holidays than just scrolling through my phone and sleeping.
“I spent my Christmas at the airport” — Tolani
I took time off work to spend the holidays with my family in Turkey. But there were complications with the visa I had, so I spent my Christmas moving from one airport to another trying to find a flight. I had to give up and return to Canada on December 26th.
READ NEXT: My First Week in Cambridge: Chasing Harvard and a Sense of Home
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The japa trend has taken Nigeria by storm in the past couple of years, as students, families and professionals are fleeing the country for greener pastures.
According to the United Nations Department of Economic and Social Affairs, the number of international migrants from Nigeria in 2020 was about 1.7 million. With the recent announcement by the United Kingdom’s Department for Education, it looks like this figure will climb even higher in 2023.
What did the UK say?
So, via a publication on their website, Nigeria was listed among the African and Asian countries whose citizens are eligible to apply for teaching jobs in the UK come 2023.
The other eligible countries are Ghana, Hong Kong, India, Jamaica, Singapore, South Africa, Ukraine and Zimbabwe.
The programme will begin on February 1, 2023, and applicants must have a Qualified Teacher Status (QTS) awarded to them by the Teaching Regulation Agency (TRA). The interesting thing about this process is you don’t need formal teaching training. What you’d need are:
- An English and Mathematics qualification the same standard as a grade 4 General Certificate of Secondary Education (GSCE). This is equivalent to a C in your West African Senior School Certificate Examination (WASSCE) or National Examination Council (NECO) Certificate.
- A Bachelor’s degree
- A minimum of two years teaching experience
What does this mean for Nigeria?
More brain drain
This year, we witnessed the mass exodus of our health professionals leaving the country with an average ratio of one doctor to 10,000 patients. And with this opportunity, we may soon see this calamity replicated in our already dilapidated education system. Public schools are already overwhelmed with the number of students they have to deal with, and this situation may get even worse in the coming year.
Poor quality of education
If a brain drain happens in our education sector, it’ll do more than increase the ratio of educators to students. The quality of any education system depends on the quality of its intellectual pool. Last month, the registrar of the Teachers Registration Council of Nigeria noted that over 260 teachers migrated to Canada this year. If our number of qualified teachers continues to dwindle, it’ll eventually affect the quality of students produced.
Retarded economic growth
It’s important to remember that applicants for the UK teaching jobs don’t need formal teaching qualifications. However, they must have a Bachelor’s degree, meaning they’d be skilled in other areas. If we lose most of our skilled labour to migration, our economic and technological development will remain in the trenches.
A good way for the country to manage this situation would be to increase the incentives for the academic staff across all public schools, provide more job opportunities with attractive salaries for graduates, and make the work environment and culture more conducive.
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It’s a tough period for Nigerians in the diaspora. It’s colder than your motherland, and all your friends are in their homes with family. If you’re lucky, your own family is with you. How can you survive this period without losing your mind?
We have tips.
Enter someone else’s relationship
There’s a solution for everything if you’re desperate enough. Enter a relationship that doesn’t belong to you, whether with permission or by force. They think they can wear matching pyjamas and snuggle together? Show them that Naija no dey carry last.
Buy plenty mirrors
The mind isn’t as smart as we make it to be. That’s why there are things called illusions and magic. Surround your room with mirrors so when you enter, it seems like you’re in a place full of people just like you. Abi, don’t you like yourself 🙃?
Do drugs
What else can make you feel like you’re not alone? Once you begin to feel lonely, take something that’ll convince you your family is in the room with you, commenting on your weight and asking when you’ll marry. Just like old times.
Disclaimer: It’s play o. Zikoko does not encourage the use of hard drugs
Join a coven
If you can’t find physical companionship, you can always look towards the spiritual plane. Cold no dey catch winch o. Plus, abroad witches and wizards have brooms to fly. You won’t have to trek or disappear with bad graphic effects.
If witchcraft isn’t your speed, get yourself a spirit husband or wife. We have a full tutorial.
Come back to Nigeria 👀
Come back home. Is it not ordinary flooding, insecurity and inflation? Is that why you want to freeze in a foreign land? Come home, let’s throw banger together joh.
This is not your village people talking.
Sleep a lot
It’s somebody who’s awake that knows there’s nobody for them to play with. Sleep, wake up, eat and go back to bed. It’s just three months of doing this every day. Light work.
Set your goals for next year
It’s always a wonderful thing to spend time lying to yourself about things you want to start, stop and achieve in the next calendar year. Write one goal per day and meditate on it. Before you know it, time has gone, and winter is over.
Gaslight yourself
When you begin to feel lonely, convince yourself it’s because society wants you to feel that way this period. You’re better than being a puppet of society. How’s winter different from other times of the year? Is it not just that snow is falling? Why should that make you lonely?
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Nigerians are doing everything to escape the actions of a failing government which has produced the japa trend taking the country by storm. Migration is nothing new, and humans have always been on the move.
However, we’re seeing people quitting their well-paying jobs, their education, and even their families, hoping a better life awaits them anywhere but here.
This belief has driven even people who can’t afford to leave legally towards irregular means of migration. And while we can’t discourage anyone from seeking greener pastures, we can safely tell you some ways to not japa.
Don’t be a stowaway
A stowaway is someone who hides in a ship or plane to travel without paying. On November 29, 2022, three Nigerian men were found in the rudder of a ship when it arrived in Spain. The men sat on the ship’s rudder as it made its 11-day voyage from Nigeria to Spain, with their feet just a few centimetres from the water. By the time they were found, they already had symptoms of dehydration and hypothermia and had to be taken to a hospital.
They were fortunate to still be alive, but this isn’t the first time this has happened. On September 4, 2022, a 14-year-old boy was found unconscious, passed out from the drugs he took, in the wheel of a packed aircraft. The boy said he hoped to be anywhere but Nigeria. Stowaways like him face numerous health risks: hypothermia, frostbite, tinnitus and, more often than not, death.
Don’t cross the desert
Nigerians are hustlers and this can get us into serious trouble sometimes. Many people try to cross the Sahara Desert to get to Libya and make their way to Europe. They’d even sell off their businesses and properties to raise enough money to get to Agadez, Niger, where they pay an additional fee of about $500 to cross the desert. Unfortunately, not many survive this trip due to the brutal weather conditions and those who manage to get to Libya can end up in slave camps.
Don’t cross the ocean on bad boats
Most people in slave camps end up sold to different slave masters, and for people lucky enough to not end up in these camps, they meet so-called connection men who take them to board boats to cross the Mediterranean Sea. Unfortunately, these boats are very rickety and usually end up capsizing or just stopping in the middle of nowhere.
This leaves the migrants stranded at the mercy of the coast guards who throw them into prison or deportation camps till the International Organization for Migration (IOM) steps in, and this can take a long time.
Don’t swear an oath
Not all Nollywood movies are just fiction; some are based on real-life stories. As you might have seen in the Netflix movie, Òlòturé, most women who have fallen victim to sex trafficking abroad are asked before the beginning of their trip to swear an oath. This prevents them from reporting their traffickers to the police.
These women live in fear of the consequences of breaking this oath even after being freed from the sex traffickers. So, if a family “friend” is promising you a better future overseas under the condition that you see a baba first, run.
Nigerians’ desperate need to japa by any means reflects a failed system. People can hardly picture themselves living better lives while still in the country, and seeing as this might not be sustainable in the long run, it shows how much of our future depends on the coming 2023 general elections.
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The Nigerian experience is physical, emotional, and sometimes international. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore Nigerian experiences while living abroad.
This week’s subject on Abroad Life is a tech bro who was tired of life in Nigeria without income and power supply, so he decided to continue his education and find work in Canada. He shares his difficulties with managing expenses and making friends as an international student.
When did you decide to move abroad?
In 2019, a family member kept telling me about Canada and the opportunities I could get there, including a post-graduate work permit after school and higher chances of permanent residency than in most other countries. I wasn’t obsessed with it in the beginning, but a year later, I started to compare the pros and cons of living in Nigeria versus abroad. I realised I could build my tech skills, work, and get my master’s degree at the same time. Being in a country that works will also help, considering the power issues in Nigeria and all.
I should’ve applied in 2020, but after much procrastination, I applied in June 2021 and got admission two months after, in August.What challenges did you face in Nigeria?
It started when I applied to study electrical engineering at a university and was given physics instead. I didn’t like it, but I had to study it for five years. It made me resent the whole system. Fast forward to a year after school in 2019, I got interested in tech and started learning software engineering full-time through paid online courses. But it wasn’t easy because of the power issues. There was hardly ever light where I lived in Lagos, so I always had to pay for a workspace. At that time, I wasn’t even working. My parents always wondered when I would get a job, but with my degree, I couldn’t get jobs that were good enough for me.
So, Canada. What was the relocation process like?
I had to get the necessary documents and secure my medicals. The visa application wasn’t so difficult because we had an agent “running” it for me, but you see the medicals? I was traveling to Abuja literally every week to get it sorted. I also had to bring proof of funds. The entire process took like four months to complete. You have to be highly meticulous when filling out your papers, otherwise, you could be made to restart the whole process. Plus, I’m a big procrastinator, so the process took so long.
When did you arrive in Canada?
Late in January 2022.
Did you experience any culture shocks?
Yes. Especially with respect to titles. No adult here cares about your “ma” and “sir”.
Also, I’d say making friends is hard here. In Nigeria, it’s easy to get people to help you with one or two things, but not here. You’re just on your own most of the time, and it’s dangerous because what if there’s an emergency? It can be a very solitary life here.
Don’t Nigerian communities offer assistance?
You’d be shocked that some Nigerians don’t want you to succeed. They’d rather not tell you about the system so you can suffer the way they did when they first arrived. It’s hard to find someone who’s loyal or trustworthy enough to call your friend, even among fellow Nigerians.
Can you share some of your experiences on this?
I was part of an Afro-Caribbean society when I first arrived, and I made friends with a Nigerian called Dapo. I remember wanting to learn tips on how to survive in Canada and always asking him questions, but he never made time to explain things to me. He was always busy and never picked his calls. Imagine how that felt for a new immigrant with no family here. I had to find my feet on my own.
What would you say are the benefits of living in Canada?
There’s a system that works for everyone. Even if you didn’t go to school, you can find a job that would pay the same thing as someone who went to school. School is almost a luxury or second thought here because it doesn’t affect your income level. I can also get drugs at a subsidised rate here. They allow students to ride public buses for free, using a card that’s valid until September 2023.
What are the disadvantages?
Managing finances and running costs is hard for a student. My rent is $900 a month. I earn $300 a week as an admin assistant in a call service company ($15 for 20 hours per day), and it’s not always assured. Some days, there may be no work, so I won’t get any money. I also pay taxes of $100 every month. The only thing helping me is that my parents send me money that covers some part of the rent. It’s hard to save because as I receive my income, it goes out almost immediately.
Getting a job was also very hard. It took nearly two months before I got one in Canada. This is because many international students are applying for the same jobs. I even had a friend who waited six months before getting a job.How are you juggling work with school?
It’s not an easy task. I’ve had some sleepless nights. Most times, I have to discuss my class schedule with my manager so they can create a work schedule based on the days I’m free. Sometimes, I’d go to work in the morning and then have an afternoon lecture. I know some people who work overnight. You also need to be careful and set out time to cover up for the days you didn’t read, so as not to slack on your academics.
Would you ever return to Nigeria?
Yes, I definitely will. I miss the air and warmth of Nigerian people in Nigeria. Here, friendship seems forced. But I’ll return only after I’ve got my master’s degree, perfected my software engineering skills, and made some money. Nigeria is not the place you want to return to without a good job.
How much money do you think you need?
The way Nigeria is going, any amount of money I call right now may not be sufficient in the next two months or so. I don’t want to be too specific, but hopefully, I’ll return in the next four to five years or so, when I’ve made some millions.
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Before you dream too much about your japa plans, you should know there’s such a thing as a visa interview, which determines if your japa dream will become a reality.
In other words, you can do everything right, but your village people can still jam you at the interview. Not on our watch, though. Take note of these clever answers to all the most-asked questions.
“Have you been to this country before?”
Yes, I have, actually. In my dreams. That’s why I’m here to make my dreams a reality. Please, help me.
“What will you do if you run out of money there?
Nigeria has taught me how to hustle. I run out of money here, so it’s nothing new. I also like fasting. It’s my best hobby.
“Do you have health insurance for this journey?”
I don’t really used to fall sick like that.
“How long do you plan to stay?”
As long as God is on the throne. Besides, only God knows my tomorrow.
“Do you currently have relatives or friends in this country?”
I can make friends easily. Don’t even worry.
RELATED: If Your Friend Is Doing Any of These 10 Things, They’re Going to Japa Without Telling You
“Can you show us your bank statement?”
See, officer, I don’t want to offend you by showing you something that’ll spoil your mood. Let’s just be thanking God for life.
“Why do you want to leave your country?”
Shey you dey whine me ni? I love your sense of humour, officer.
“What do you do for a living?”
I wake up every day determined to leave this country. My japa dream is all I live for.
“Who will take care of your properties in Nigeria while you’re away?”
It’s someone who has properties that’ll be thinking that one. Just let me go, make money and come back first.
What’s your opinion of this country?
I know my destiny helpers are there. Just let me pass.
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Two types of people exist in this world — the ones who leave and those who are left behind. If your close friend recently japa, then these emotional stages might sound familiar.
Your friend says they have something to tell you
Ah, what is going on?
They tell you they’ll soon japa
Lanre, I thought we were all broke. Where did you see japa money? Ah.
You start to whine them
Rich kid!
But as the departure day draws closer, you start to experience other emotions
You feel sad
They’re leaving you, long-distance relationships don’t have a high success rate. And 10,000 kilometres seems like a lot of distance.
What will happen to all the plans you made together
So, no attending Asake concert together? Tears.
Then, the anger
You’re angry at them for leaving. And at the fat-bellied, sticky-fingered, incompetent clowns running the country to the ground. If Nigeria worked, fewer people would leave.
There’s also this pang of jealousy
They’ve found an out. They can now join the group of people who are patriotic from abroad — the real “God, when?”
And the worry that follows?
Maybe you’re not serious with your life because you don’t have any plans to japa. Heck, you haven’t even renewed your passport.
You’re excited for them still
You plan to make as many memories with them as possible before they leave. So you’re texting more, visiting the house, going to parties, taking pictures, all the good stuff.
They promise it’s not goodbye, and nothing will change
You say what? It’s a whole different country; something has already changed!
In the first couple of days, you talk frequently and for long hours
They arrived overseas, and the honeymoon era of your long-distance relationship begins. While they tell you how they have uninterrupted power supply, you tell them how the national grid has fallen once again. They seem to be settling in well though.
But you quickly go back to focusing on the hustle
With naira plummeting day after day, even food you’d have run to for comfort is becoming too expensive. You wonder if you came to this life to work, pay bills and die.
Time goes by fast
What started as two days has now become two weeks since you and your friend have spoken.
Then you reach out
You’ve both missed each other, and it shows.
More updates and gossip
Trying to fill two months’ worth of gist into three hours.
After the call, you realise you’ll always be friends
Even though you have no idea when you’ll ever see them again.
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The japa wave for Nigerians seems to be getting some pushback recently in the form of visa bans, visa restrictions and even deportations.
While these actions won’t stop Nigerians from making their japa plans, it’s important to flag some countries you should probably cross off your destination lists. These countries are either historically hostile to Nigerians with inhumane treatments or have shown us shege in recent times.
Consider this a travel advisory.
United Arab Emirates (UAE)
The United Arab Emirates (UAE) used to be the go-to spot for premium enjoyment for Nigerians, but they appear to be sick of hosting Nigerians these days. On October 21, 2022, the UAE banned Nigerians from applying for visas and even canceled already submitted applications without refunding applicants.
When a Nigerian raised alarm about the maltreatment of other Nigerians trying to enter the country in August 2022, the UAE jailed her for violating a cybercrime law.
No one really knows UAE’s reasons for the visa ban so it’s best for Nigerians to find another vacation hotspot.
ALSO READ: Why Nigeria’s Relationship With the UAE Is Hitting the Rocks
Libya
In 2018, the United Nations (UN) released a report that detailed the horrors Nigerians face in Libya — ranging from unlawful killings to gang rape, arbitrary detention, torture, unpaid wages, slavery, human trafficking, racism, and xenophobia.
Between April 2017 and February 2022, 19,452 Nigerians voluntarily returned home from Libya. So if anyone ever suggests Libya as a japa option, run, please.
Indonesia
In March 2022, Nigeria’s House of Representatives moved to address the violation of the human rights of Nigerians in Indonesia after Arinze Igweike died in the custody of immigration officials. The officials arrested him with two other Nigerians and brutalized them until he died.
In August 2021, Indonesian officials were filmed assaulting Abdulrahman Ibrahim, a Nigerian consular officer based in Jakarta. In the film, they held him down inside a vehicle while he begged for air as he couldn’t breathe. Indonesia apologised for the maltreatment but the incident put the spotlight on how the treatment of Nigerians in Indonesia could be better.
South Africa
In September 2020, thousands of South Africans marched on the streets with plaques and banners, demanding that Nigerians and other foreigners leave their country.
The protesters claimed foreigners are taking away their jobs and committing crimes — the same narratives used to attack foreigners in the past.
[Image source: Ewn]
In August 2022, the Nigerian High Commission to South Africa warned Nigerians of imminent attacks on foreign nationals due to the recent utterances of a group, ‘’Operation Dudula”. As a Nigerian, to live in South Africa is to always dread the next wave of xenophobia.
India
The reality of what’s happening to Nigerians in India isn’t always the song and dance you see in Bollywood movies. In 2021, a Nigerian activist in New Delhi shared how Nigerians were victims of inhuman treatment — ranging from illegal experimentation for COVID-19 vaccines to the death of a 43-year-old Nigerian, Leohand Lyeanyi after a police officer allegedly assaulted him.
In October 2022, 60 Nigerian students fled Genoka University after Indian students beat and abused them on the football field and in their hostel.
Northern Cyprus
The Nigerian government has flagged Northern Cyprus many times as hostile to Nigerians. At least 100 Nigerian students studying there died under questionable circumstances between 2016 and 2020 but nothing has been done to address their cases.
What’s worse about Northern Cyprus is it’s not a country recognized by anyone in the world other than Turkey. This means the Nigerian government can’t have direct diplomatic engagements with them to help Nigerians when they run into trouble there.
The government’s message is clear: whatever happens in Northern Cyprus, you’re on your own.
Do you know of any more countries we missed that should be red flags for Nigerians? Let us know.
ALSO READ: Why You Should (Probably) Remove Northern Cyprus From Your Japa List
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The japa wave out of Nigeria is making doctors become as scarce as uninterrupted power supply. Many doctors have seen the benefits of working overseas and refuse to stay and fight sapa in Nigeria.
Even though we can’t blame anyone for wanting to earn their daily $2k, the japa wave of doctors is really causing a serious problem for Nigerians.
How bad is Nigeria’s doctor problem?
Let’s break it down in numbers.
An estimated 217 million people live in Nigeria and they’re all likely to need medical attention at some point. According to the President of the Nigerian Medical Association (NMA), Uche Rowland, Nigeria currently has 24,000 doctors available. This means there’s one doctor available to treat 9,083 patients.
But according to the World Health Organization, a country should have a ratio of one doctor to 600 people for their medical needs. Going by this recommendation, Nigeria needs at least 363,000 additional doctors in the country.
Excluding witch doctors
According to Rowland, there are some states in the southern region where there’s only one doctor available to treat 30,000 patients. The situation is even worse in some northern states where there’s only one doctor available to 45,000 patients.
He said, “In some rural areas, patients have to travel more than 30 kilometres from their abodes to get medical attention where available thus making access to healthcare a rarity.”
Nigerian doctors are rushing for the door
Even though Nigeria needs more doctors practicing in the country, the ones we already have are looking for work everywhere else. A 2017 survey by NOI Polls revealed that about 88% of medical doctors in Nigeria were seeking work opportunities abroad at the time.
In January 2022, the Medical and Dental Consultants Association of Nigeria (MDCAN) said more than 100 of its members left Nigeria within 24 months. A 2022 UK immigration report also showed that 13,609 Nigerian healthcare workers got working visas in the past year, making the country second only to India with 42,966 healthcare workers.
Who will make it stop?
Nigeria faces an existential crisis with the japa wave of doctors. As the country grows in population, more healthcare professionals are needed. The government needs to act fast with favourable policies that’ll make practicing in the country attractive to doctors.
We know our leaders can jump on a plane and run abroad for their medical needs but regular Nigerians deserve access to care too.
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Whenever I hear of someone who has japa, I think, “we’ve lost another one.” And until I stumbled across this tweet about the different categories of people who japa, I didn’t realise some people only left for a better passport. So I reached out to Lanre, the 24-year-old, to tell me about his reason for moving.
Image source: Unsplash As told to Memi
When I got admission to study Chemical Engineering at the University of Minna, I didn’t have any plans to leave Nigeria. Things were going fine. We had one strike, but it only lasted two months, so I thought I could manage.
And even when things started deteriorating— fuel prices rising, insecurity increasing, economy going down — I still had no plans to leave because I expected things to get better. But my dad called me one day in 2018 and told me I had to travel, to save myself and my future kids and provide them with better options.
I started working towards the new goal in the two years that followed. I worked harder at school to push my grades over the 3.0-grade point average I needed to qualify for a Masters in the United States. After graduation, I got my transcript and recommendation letters. By 2019, I had started applying to schools abroad. From the three I applied to, I got admission to one in Cleveland. But it wasn’t until September 2021 that I got my visa and left in December.
I think I was the only Nigerian on my flight, and because it was a layover flight, we stopped at Qatar, and I’m sure they didn’t have to scrutinise my passport the way they did others. Even when we got to the US border, they grouped us into two lines; citizens/residents and visitors. Trust our queue to move slower and for me to be bombarded with questions about where I’d stay, why I was there and all that stuff.
Things like this make you realise people see the Nigerian passport and start doubting you. So even though I still can’t stand the cold — I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it — I miss my friends, and I’m miles away from home, I’m here until I get a more respectable passport.
Ultimately, I plan to travel the world. I also have plans for a developmental project in Nigeria, preferably in the education technology industry. Maybe it’d be for profit or not, I can’t say yet. But I’ll go back to Nigeria if things improve in a few years.
With all the news I’ve been hearing and the number of people leaving daily, I hope the country still exists by then. Between January to May 2021 after I left, every call from my family and friends in Nigeria was saddening. When the national grid wasn’t falling, they were kidnapping people on the road. And it’s continued to go downhill since then.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to travel, but that would mean things were working and the country provided opportunities to build great futures, but that’s not the case. I pray Nigerians do the right thing this election, but since people already voted Buhari twice, I’m not so confident.
*This interview has been edited for structure and clarity.
YOUR NEXT READ: 7 Things You Need to Know Before You Japa
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There’s Mariam Webster’s dictionary that teaches us the meaning of English words, and there’s the Urban dictionary that teaches slang meanings. But what about a dictionary that teaches us Nigerianisms? In honour of international dictionary day, here are seven dictionaries that we need as Nigerians.
Japa dictionary
I need this dictionary to know the difference between a personal statement and a statement of purpose. I’m sure I’m not the only one confused. Also, this dictionary would tell us important words to say and not say in scholarship essays and visa interviews. This information already exists out there, but it needs to be all in one place so we can stop opening one hundred tabs simultaneously on our web browsers.
A Nigerian parents dictionary
This dictionary teaches children that when Nigerian parents call you “idiot”, they mean they love you, even though you’re being foolish. And when your Nigerian father says, “Come and join me to eat”, he’s saying he cares for you.
Corporate dictionary
You need this dictionary for when you want to tell your boss you can’t handle any more work and they should leave you the fuck alone, in the most professional way possible.
ALSO READ: 9 Unmissable Signs That Your Nigerian Boss Is Clueless
Men’s dictionary
From this dictionary, you’ll learn that when a Nigerian man says, “You’re the only woman I care about”, he’s leaving out the words “at the moment” from the sentence.
Relationship dictionary
So you’ll know that when your partner says, “No, I’m not hungry” it means you should buy extra food; if not, they will eat yours.
Fashion dictionary
It would help if you had this dictionary so that when your tailor says “Next week,” you’ll know they mean next month. And when they say, “Yes, of course, I can sew this style,” they’re saying, “You made mistake by bringing this style to me, but oh well, I’ll collect your money.” This dictionary will also come in handy for fashion-illiterate people like me who don’t know things like “haute couture”, “in-seam”, “RTW”, etc.
ALSO READ: QUIZ: Can You Guess Which Nigerianism The Oxford Dictionary Is
Streets dictionary
There’s a generic type of Nigerian street smart you have to be, whether you live in Lagos, Kano or Abeokuta. If you’re not wise, someone will scam you by charging you ₦200k for National Identification Number(NIN) registration before you know it. That’s where this dictionary comes in handy. So you’ll know that “pepper don set” means money has come, and they’re about to use you to make money.
ALSO READ: 29 Nigerian English Words Have Been Added To The Oxford English
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The Nigerian experience is not just what happens within our borders. It’s beyond the physical. Sometimes, it’s emotional and international too. No one knows it better than our features on #TheAbroadLife, a series where we detail and explore the experiences of Nigerians living abroad.
The subject of this episode of Abroad Life is a 24-year-old Nigerian who, on paper, left Nigeria to do her Master’s in the Netherlands. But the real reason she left was to meet her boyfriend. She talks about the stress of dealing with immigration, settling into school, and her current state of homelessness.
Where are you right now?
I’m in a city called Arnhem in the Netherlands.
Why did you decide to move to the Netherlands?
Please don’t judge me, but I actually moved because my boyfriend moved here. He’s a tech bro, and about 11 months ago, a company in the Netherlands reached out to him to apply for a job. He got the job, they sponsored his move to the Netherlands, and that was it.
I had only two choices: break up with him or follow him. I decided I would move to the Netherlands to be with him.
God, when? What was the process of moving like?
He’d moved to the Netherlands because he got a job, but I needed a reason to move, so I decided I would do my Master’s there. I was still in my service year while all this was happening, and even though I’ve always wanted to do a Master’s programme, I didn’t plan for it to happen so fast.
I had pretty good grades from university, so I thought it’d be fairly easy for me to get admission to schools in the Netherlands. LMAO. The breakfast was hot. I’d never seen rejections come in so fast. I applied to three schools at first, and two rejected me the day after I applied. I was in shock because, how could you even make a decision so fast?
LMAO. Did they explain why?
Yeah, they did. It turned out it was because of my degree. I studied chemical engineering at the undergraduate level, so I got a Bachelor of Engineering (B.Eng). The course I was applying for at the graduate level was a research course. I needed to have a Bachelor of Science degree to apply. My B.Eng. degree was too specialised, so the other things weren’t even considered.
I took the feedback and started looking for schools that didn’t have the B.Sc. requirement. I found another school and applied. This time, I got admitted. Around the same time, I also got admitted to one of the schools I’d previously applied to. It was now time for me to plan my move to the Netherlands.
Sweet. What was that like? The immigration process
The school applied for a visa on my behalf. So all I had to do was go to their embassy in Nigeria, drop my documents, have my biometrics taken, and get my passport stamped. Pretty straightforward, right?
The first problem was the Netherlands had no embassy in Nigeria. Their closest was in the Benin Republic, so I had to travel there to get my passport stamped. It was my second time out of Nigeria, and I was shit scared.
When was the first time, and what happened then?
A couple of months prior, actually. I followed my boyfriend to get his passport stamped at the embassy in the Benin Republic. My parents didn’t even know I made the trip, but it stressed me out so much.
My boyfriend has dreads and it blares off all the alarms in police officers’ heads. We saw about a million checkpoints between Badagry and the Seme border. At every one, they asked us for money. The wild part is it wasn’t even the Beninoise policemen making life difficult for us. It was Nigerian policemen and immigration officers.
At one point, they asked us for our visa to enter the country. I’m someone who likes to do things by the book so I tried to explain that we had ECOWAS passports and that meant we could travel anywhere in West Africa without a visa. Zilch! They didn’t listen till we gave them money.
Was the second time different?
The second time, I was more prepared. My parents thought it was my first time, so my dad actually followed me. He was surprised that I seemed familiar with everything, but I just lied that I’d read about it. Because I was accompanied by my dad, I didn’t have to deal with the annoying line of questioning I did the first time. He basically answered all the questions.
When we got to Benin Republic, I entered another wahala. Typically, getting your visa approved and having your passport stamped takes three weeks. But when I went with my boyfriend the first time, it took two days. We dropped the passport on Tuesday, and by Thursday, we were called to come and pick it up. I thought my case would be similar. LMAO. I played myself.
How?
I ended up having to stay about two weeks in Benin Republic. I’m not even sure what caused the hold-up. My dad had already left after the second day and he was telling me to come home, but I didn’t want to go through the stress of facing Nigerian policemen and immigration officers at the border again without having done what I came for. So I chose to stay.
Those were the most miserable two weeks of my life. I only carried clothes for two days, so I was basically recycling them. I decided to use the time to visit their local markets, beach and so on. But I quickly ran out of places to go to, and I was just frustrated. They eventually called me to pick it up my passport, and I travelled back to Lagos.
Finally. What happened when you got home?
When I got home, my folks asked me not to mention to anyone that I was travelling abroad, like village people will follow me or something. Even things like entering a bus became an issue of “It’s not safe o. What if something happens?” But I think the urge to hide things didn’t last longer than two days. I have very good people around me, both friends and family. So I don’t think there was anyone who didn’t know about my travel plans before I left. I even had “last time together” meetings with some of my friends.
Sweet. When did you finally leave?
I left in August and landed in Amsterdam first before coming to Arnhem.
Was it what you expected?
To be honest, I didn’t really have expectations coming here. Obviously, I expected it to be fine and better than Nigeria, but apart from that, I had an open mind about the place. But I think what struck me most was how intentional the planning of this place was. It just feels so organised, and everything works at an unbelievable level.
You see this on the streets with the way people behave, and everything else. Even down to the little things like hailing a cab. If you call a cab on an app, and it says it’ll be there in two minutes, it won’t take a second longer than two minutes. It just makes life easy, and it makes me realise how much of my everyday life in Nigeria was filled with needless struggle.
Another thing is how little crime there is here. People just tend to follow rules, and it makes everything feel safe and easy. In my entire time here, I’ve probably only seen a police officer once or twice. If I lose something somewhere, I can be sure it’ll still be there when I go back. Things hardly ever go missing here, except it’s a bicycle sha.
LMAO. Why would someone steal a bicycle?
Bicycles are everywhere here, and no one really guards them like that. Because of how narrow the streets are, and how laid back everywhere is, people tend to cycle or trek to get around. In fact, I think there are more bicycles than human beings in this place.
Tell me about the people
The people here are extremely polite, and it can be unnerving sometimes. Especially coming from Nigeria where politeness isn’t what you’d naturally expect from a stranger. It gave me the creeps at first, but I’m used to it now. Also, even though the official language is Dutch, most people speak very good English. So, I don’t really feel out of place or have a hard time socialising. But most of the people I’ve made friends with are from school.
How has school been so far?
I think “wild” is the only word that describes it. First of all, I’m kind of homeless at the moment. There’s a student housing crisis in the Netherlands right now, and it affected my ability to find accommodation.
The problem is universities in the Netherlands don’t have hostels on campus, so you have to look for accommodation in the city somehow. Sometimes, the school helps with this. A lot of people find it hard to find accommodation without the help of the school.
Did you seek the school’s help?
Before I came to the Netherlands, I was asked to pay my tuition, living expenses and accommodation fees. The accommodation fees were for the school to help me find a place to stay. For context, I got my admission letter in April and was asked to pay all the fees before June 15th. I sent the money on the 6th of June, but because of Nigerian banks and CBN’s forex issues, it didn’t get to my school until July 27th, more than a month after the deadline which was slated for June 15th.
The school refunded my accommodation expenses, and I had to start looking for accommodation on my own. It’s as hellish as looking for a job in Nigeria. It’s just so hard to even find an available space anywhere, and it affected how quickly I could settle into school.
So when you say “homeless”
I’m not living under a bridge or anything, but I stay in an apartment that belongs to someone from the church my boyfriend attends in Amsterdam. I know it’s temporary, so I’m not relaxed at all. I’m basically living out of my box. This has also influenced my ability to have my boyfriend over as much as I’d like because I’d like to be settled first. The distance thing is still there, but now it’s by choice and not by design. Netherlands is a small country and I can easily decide to get on a train to Amsterdam and go be with him.
Me too. How’s education in the Netherlands different from Nigeria?
Hmm. Where do I start? It’s much harder because it’s not like the regular Nigerian system where you can just chill till exam, read for a few days and pass. They teach you as if they want you to actually understand things at a granular level.
Sometimes, it gets really hard for me. I finished from what’s probably the best school in Nigeria with pretty good grades, but I’m still scared I’ll fail here. I have exams in a couple of weeks, and I’m working hard as hell to make sure I don’t.
I’m rooting for you. Do you see yourself staying in the Netherlands after school?
Of course. I didn’t really come here for school. I came here for love. And apart from the fact that my boyfriend is here, I feel very safe. I could live here for a long time and enjoy myself because everything just works. I also like that I have family in neighbouring countries like Austria and Germany, where I can easily travel to because they’re all in the EU.
My main focus is getting through school and making sure schoolwork doesn’t finish me.
Good luck with that
Thank you. I’ll need it.
Want more Abroad Life? Check in every Friday at 9 A.M. (WAT) for a new episode. Until then, read every story of the series here.
